Hurting To Feel (Carpool Dolls) (20 page)

Janice
already supplied the material needed for the meeting, and he knew every detail
without looking at his notes. He directed them to the first page. Business came
easy to him.

Whether
on the street, jacking cars, or sitting at the table discussing a twelve
billion dollar expansion to the Sears Tower and bringing in over twenty new
office buildings, the subject matter was a game. An entertaining way to make
money and come out ahead, and he enjoyed the challenge.

"Do
you have a deadline in mind," John Bieker, attorney at law, addressed him.

He
loved this part. "I'm willing to give you five minutes. Walk away from the
table, and I have no problem with providing the funds myself. I'm opening this
venture up for partnerships right now. You know the benefits, and it would be
foolish to turn the opportunity down. Or, you can walk away, knowing you just
threw away at least a ten million dollar profit the first year. Your choice,
gentlemen. Are you going to play?"

Terry
Longtan and Bruce Carlson stood. He ignored them, and looked at the others,
bored with the meeting. Professor Frank taught him well.

He
was in control. Nobody owed him. They should cater to his needs.

He
took his skill at wearing a poker face and not giving a shit. Because he was
different from every single man at the meeting, he had power over them. His
emotions didn't enter into the equation. These men were beneath him. Raised
with a hand in their daddy's bank account, the others in the room knew nothing
about fighting for survival. They'd die on the streets.

He
played them for entertainment purposes only. He could take or leave the game.
Money meant nothing.

"All
right. Sign the paper work, fax it to my office by—he peered at his watch—five thirty
five, and we'll get the notarized papers back to you by currier at six o'clock
on the dot." He nodded his chin, pivoted, and walked out the door before
anyone could utter a word or question him.

The
high he usually felt was lacking. He rode the elevator down to the lobby. Instead
of an adrenaline rush, he wanted to pick up Addy.

With
her, he'd work toward achieving the fulfillment he craved. He loosened his tie
as he walked through the automatic doors out to the sidewalk.

Curt
Stewart walked toward him. "Rafferty."

Four
inches shorter and twenty odd years older, Stewart didn't intimidate him. In
fact, he felt nothing but disgust. He willed himself not to clench his hand and
deck the man on the spot. He'd promised Addison, and until he knew more about
the situation, he'd bide his time.

He
stopped. "Stewart."

"Damn"
Curt grimaced. "I was on the way to the meeting, but met with Colson of
Colson and Langley. You know how they talk. Hell if I could get away.

He
nodded. Hating how he searched for similarities between Stewart and Addison. The
angled chin, more prominent in Stewart, coupled with the sharp clear eyes. But
Curt's were blue and Addison's were green. He could still see Stuart's black
hair mixed in with the gray that if he tried hard enough might match Addison's
hair in color.

"Why
don't you come up to the office? We can talk about the offer you presented,"
Curt said.

He
shook his head. "Offers closed."

Curt
stopped him from walking away with a hand on his arm. "We can work
something out. I'm expanding to Japan by the end of next year. You can be a
silent partner."

He
hid his shock. A foolish move on Curt's part. Anyone with money would want in
on a sure bet. "Not interested."

Curt
tilted his head and studied him. He stepped back. The curious manner Curt
displayed reminded him of Addison when she wanted to question him. He itched to
pound Addison's father right here on the sideway.

But,
he'd made a promise to Addison. He wouldn't say a thing to her father.

"I'll
see you around," he muttered, walking away.

He
left Curt standing on the sidewalk. He owed no one his reasons for how he chose
to do business. He was finding out when it came to what Addison wanted, he'd do
anything to step up and make her happy.

Surprised
and taken back at how he'd pulled Addison into his life, he slowed his pace.
He'd never done anything for anyone before, except for Donny and Professor
Frank, and he wondered over the significance of his and Addy's relationship.

Chapter
Twenty-Two

"Nathan!"
Addison ran around to the backside of the couch. "Stop."

Nathan
stalked toward her. She sidestepped the furniture, keeping the object between
her and Nathan. "I'm serious. I need to stay at my house tonight."

"Not
happening, doll." He vaulted over the back of the couch and captured her.
"I want you here."

She
sighed, letting him pick her up, and then wound her arms and legs around him.
"But, you're not going to be here, and I want to go home, clean, check on
Mrs. Lindsay, and throw out my plants because I'm sure they all died."

"Move
in permanently with me." He leaned against the couch, holding her.
"There's no reason to keep your house. You don't need to hold on or have
the expense when you're here with me."

"That's
not true," she said.

He
ran his hands the slope of her ass and hitched her higher, readjusting his
hold. "It fucking is. You've stopped by there once since staying with me.
Once. And, that was to grab more clothes."

She
buried her face in his neck. Almost five weeks they'd known each other.

The
level of dependency on him scared her. She'd relied on herself for so long, his
constant need to have her near him worried her. Not that she wanted distance.

The
thought of being away from him one night, whether staying at his house or hers,
almost made her physically sick. She shouldn't be this dependent on him.

She'd
gone from cold to hot, and in the process lost her independence. To rely on him
for her happiness said a lot about her, and she hated what she viewed as a
weakness creeping into their relationship

"Give
me time," she said.

"There's
no reason to wait." He moved his shoulder, nudging her to look at him.
"It's black and white. Either you're here or you're not. You're with me or
you're alone. Nothing's changed since I went over the rules from the beginning."

She
gazed into his eyes, and her stomach settled. She took his words for truth, but
she couldn't help being scared. "Don't you ever wonder why we need each
other so much?"

"No,"
he said.

"Nathan…it's
not normal," she whispered. "Just thinking about you being gone
overnight on a business trip leaves me questioning everything. I don't want to
need you to function."

His
gaze warmed. "That's exactly how I want you to react."

She
couldn't look away. He'd grown from a paradox to counting on her to balance
him. There were times late at night when she pretended to sleep, and he held
her with a desperation that confused her. For how much he controlled every
aspect of their relationship, she was afraid he needed her with the same validity
she was feeling.

What
happens when they stopped seeing each other? Would they both survive or would
they forever reach for something more, always craving that all-encompassing
passion that ruled even their relationship?

How
could she separate need versus true love?

"I
think we need this break." She let go of him and slid down his body.
"It's only twenty-four hours. You can think about what we're doing and
where you plan for us to go from here."

"No."
He stepped away. "You're staying here."

She
shook her head. "Nathan, I need to—"

He
grabbed her, hauling her toward the wall and pinned her there with his body.
"You have no say in if you come and go."

She
quivered against him, but her mind refused to shut down. "You can make me
beg, and I will," she whispered. "You know, I'll do anything to
please you. Do you want me here because you demand me to stay or do you want to
know I'm willingly living here because I want you?"

"Doesn't
matter," he said.

His
mouth captured hers. Not gently, not to excite her, but greedy and possessive.
He punished her.

Pain
came from her lips biting into her teeth. She moved her head side to side, but
he reached up and held her by her hair, forcing her to open her mouth and take
his tongue. She wanted to bite, to scream, and push him away.

But
all she could concentrate on was the way his tongue stroked hers, until his
lips eased back and he took his time to please her. He forced her legs apart
with his knee and shoved his thigh up into the apex of her jeans. She panted at
the contact with her sex, and her legs relaxed until she sat on his thigh,
grinding against him.

His
other hand grabbed her T-shirt. She clutched at his arms as the force of him
ripping her shirt right off her threatened to take her away from him. Then he
dragged her top down her arms and took her with him to the floor.

Panic
filled her as he hovered above her, working on his belt. She clutched his suit
coat, gasping for breath. He was leaving, and he may never come back.

With
his slacks opened, his cock hard and ready, Nathan undid her jeans and pulled
them off her along with her panties. She latched on to him, but he shoved her
hands away, pinning them above her head in one of his hands.

"You
have no choice." He thrust into her.

She
screamed at the force, the shock, the pain. Unable to move, her core warmed and
she shuddered underneath him, taking his hardness. Aware of the natural
lubrications easing his way, she couldn't hide what he did to her when he took
the choice from her.

She
loved the position he put her in. She loved him. She'd die without this.

Her
back arched. The muscles in her lower stomach fluttered and she panted,
reaching for the place only Nathan could take her. His hardness stroked her
exactly how she needed to find release.

Then
Nathan stopped, deeply seated inside of her. She whined, wanting him to
continue.

"Look
at me." He growled, yanking on her hands. "You will not leave me. Do
you hear me?"

His
eyes hardened and darkened. A swell of pain gathered inside of her as she
realized what she viewed in his face. He was scared.

The
curtain he held so protectively around him all the time had slipped. She lost
the fight at the gift he bestowed her. She swallowed hard and nodded. "I
won't leave," she whispered.

For
several seconds he continued looking down at her. The only movement between
them was his cock throbbing and her pussy rhythmic clenching him as the passion
between them begged to explode in a fiery finale.

He
swiftly pulled out of her and stood. She stared in disbelief. What did she do?
Why wasn't he going to finish?

"Nathan?"
She pushed herself to a sitting position and grabbed her jeans, holding it to
the front of her.

"Get
dressed." He swept up her ripped T-shirt and cleaned his still hard cock
before tucking himself back in and zipping his slacks. "I'm late, and need
to go. You can shut and lock the door after I leave."

Naked,
emotionally raw and unable to comprehend what happened, she blinked at him not
knowing what to do. "But we were…"

"We
were what, Addy?" He paused and scanned her body. His gaze flared at the
red mark left on her arms. "While I'm gone, you won't touch yourself. You
won't come. Maybe then you'll realize that I know what is best for you and only
I can give you the release that you need to be truly happy."

She
clamped her teeth.
You son of a bitch.

"I
am the only one who knows you and what you need to feel good. I can make you
hurt, I can bring you pain, and I can make sure you know I give a fucking
damn." He sighed heavily. "I thought you were there, and you
understood me. You've disappointed me. My only regret is that I can't stay here
and punish you the right way. To wipe any doubt you have over who you are and
what I am. Remember this. Tomorrow night, I'll make sure you know your place in
my life."

The
corner of his mouth lifted, but there was nothing jovial about the grin. He was
right. Everything he spoke of, ordered her to do, asked of her was what she
wanted. She'd played right into his hand.

"Walk
me out." He strolled toward the hallway.

A
few seconds later, she followed him silently. When he kissed her goodbye, and
told her to mind, she nodded without saying a word. She locked the door behind
him the way he requested. Without waiting to make sure he really left, she
walked up the stairs naked and proceeded to get dressed.

Covered
and more in control, she proceeded to pack a suitcase. She ignored the tears
rolling down her cheeks.

If
she stayed in his house.
If
she followed his command.
If
she
allowed herself to love him, she'd lose herself in the process, and she feared
if she let him have everything from her, she'd never survive.