Him (13 page)

Will leans down
and rests his head in his hands. I resist the urge to rub his back. He just seems so, I don’t really know, but I know it's making me want to comfort him. He takes a deep breath before he lifts his head to look at me. I can see the light from the restaurant behind us reflected in his eyes.

"The slideshow was beautiful
, Will."

He doesn’t say anything for the longest time.

"Sarah, why did you leave?"

I close my eyes and shake my head, stopping when I feel his hand cup my cheek. I start to lean into it until I realize what I'm doing and jerk back, my eyes wide. His hand remains suspended in midair for a beat before he lowers it to his leg. I look back towards the lake
, crossing my arms over my chest, my hands rubbing warmth into my upper arms. Will shrugs off his jacket, and I lean forward for him to drape over my shoulders. I'm surrounded by his scent. I hazard to look at him and regret it. Why is he doing this? I stand and take a couple of steps forward, needing some distance between us. The gesture is pointless when he follows me.

Fine
. He wants to know why I left. I pull off his jacket and thrust it to him. As his hand grips the material, I breathe one word before I take off back to the restaurant. "Jessica."

Chapter 12

Past

"I'm so sorry
." I've lost count over how many times I've said it. Will's Italian language CD is still on. Piove, it is raining, I hear in the background.

"Sarah
, calm down. It was not your fault."

I just can't get the look Will's mom gave me out of my head
. "I just feel so bad."

He puts his hand on my leg
, making me melt. "I don't."

"I just want your mom to like me."

He squeezes my leg and gives me a lopsided grin.

When we pull up to my house
, I expect him to just drop me off. Instead, he parks and follows me inside. "What about your mom?"

He drops a kiss to the back of my neck before reaching into the backseat to grab his camera case
. "I'm going to let her stew."

"Will!"

I open the door, and he pulls me towards my bedroom, shutting the door behind him. I kick off my shoes and flop onto my bed, my heart pounding. Will has been in my room hundreds of times, but this time, it feels different. Click. I look up to see him grinning behind his camera. He sets it back in its case on my desk, stepping out of his shoes and coming to stretch out next to me. He's on his side, facing me. His hand moves up to my face to brush some hair behind my ear. I look at him and smile. Will Price is on my bed. I don’t want to close my eyes. I'm too afraid that when I wake, it will all be a dream. I move closer to him, and he does the same thing until we meet in the middle of my bed, facing each other. I put my hands on the sides of his face and his arm snakes around my waist. We kiss, his arm pulling me even closer as his tongue teases mine. We are like this when my older brother, Brian, opens the door.

We spring apart as Brian mutters
. "You have got to be fucking kidding me."

"
Ahhh," is all I can come up with.

"How long has this been going on
?" He gestures between the two of us.

Will regains his voice before I do. He reaches out to take my hand
. "Not long."

"And you're already making out like that on her bed? Wait, don’t you have a girlfriend?" Brian looks like he's going to punch Will.

"They broke up."

"And my little sister is your rebound?"

Will's eyes widen. "She's not a rebound. I broke up with Jessica for her."

He did? I smile at him
, and he sweeps his thumb across the back of my hand.

"Sarah
, go to my room. I want to talk to Will alone." Brian pops his knuckles.

Oh shit
. "What? No way. Anything you want to say to Will you can say in front of me."

Will squeezes my hand
. "It's okay, Sarah."

Brian motions towards his room with his head.

"Fine," I grumble, squeezing Will's hand one more time before I let go.

Brian shuts my door behind me. I walk into his room and sit on his bed. The fact that I know they are talking about me but I don’t know what either of them are saying is driving me crazy. I nervously spin my ring until Brian opens the door
, and Will walks out into the hallway.

I jump off Brian's bed and run over to him "What'd he say?"

Brian looks back and forth between us. "What I said was for Will's ears only, but here's something for the both of you. No more hanging out in your room together, period. Get your asses down to the family room before I tell mom and dad what I saw you two doing."

"Brian
," I whine.

He shakes his head and points down the stairs.

"I need to grab my camera," Will explains, stepping back into my room. Brian waits, watching him until he's back out of my room. Taking Will's hand, I slowly walk down the stairs and tug him towards the family room.

He stops me
. "I should probably head home."

I glare up at Brian
, who shrugs and walks into his bedroom.

"Are you sure?"

"You heard my mom. Walk me out?"

I nod and walk out barefoot
. Will must have put his shoes back on after Brian was done talking to him. We walk out to his car. He puts his camera case on the floor of the backseat and shuts the door. He leans his back against his door and pulls me to his chest, wrapping his arms around my waist.

"What did Brian say to you?" I ask
, resting my cheek on his chest, smiling as I listen to his heart beat.

He lifts my chin so I'm looking up at him
. "Nothing any good big brother wouldn’t say."

He dips his head and presses his lips to mine. I rest my arms on his shoulders and run my fingers through his hair.

He breaks our kiss and rests his forehead on mine. "You know you're not a rebound, right?"

I didn’t
, but I don’t doubt the sincerity of his question so I nod my head. He lifts me off the ground and kisses me again. I don’t want him to leave, but after a few moments, he sets me back down and does.

"Call me after you talk to your mom
," I yell as he's backing away.

I will
, he mouths.

I hurry back inside and race up to Brian's room, flinging his door open
. "What did you say to Will?"

Brian is
lying on his bed, his telephone to his ear. "Hey, let me go," he says before hanging up. I walk over and sit on the edge of his bed.

He sits up and leans against his headboard, his brown hair flopping into his eyes
. "Look, I only told him that I'll kill him and no one will ever find the body if he hurts you."

"Brian
," I gasp. "I cannot believe you did that. What if you've scared him away?"

He laughs at me
. "Sarah, that boy has been in love with you for years."

"No
, he hasn’t." I wrinkle my nose at him. "Um, everyone at our school likes him. He's wonderful."

"I don’t know why he waited this long
, but it's the truth."

"You're crazy, and if you scared him away
, I'll never forgive you."

Brian moves closer to me and puts his arm around my shoulders
. "Nothing is going to scare that boy away from you." He kisses my temple before laying back down. "Now get out and shut the door behind you. I'm trying to iron out my Friday night over here," he says, picking his phone back up.

I shut his door a bit harder than necessary and go into my room, checking my phone to make sure Will ha
sn’t called yet. What a day. With the exception of Will's mom finding us asleep together on a deck chair and Brian threatening bodily harm on him, it was the best day of my entire life. I change for bed and go wash my face and brush my teeth, checking my phone again when I'm back in my room. Still no call. I do the math in my head. It takes fifteen minutes to get from my house to his, and he left an hour ago. Does that mean he's been talking to his mom for the last forty-five minutes? I wonder if she told his dad. Are they both talking to him? What if they forbid him from seeing me again?

The not knowing is killing me. I grab my phone and text him.

Everything ok?

I hold my phone in front of my face like a crazy person
, willing him to reply. Five minutes go by. I climb into bed and prop my phone up on a pillow in front of my face. I'm hungry. We had skipped dinner, but I ignore it. I stare at my phone so long I fall asleep, jerking when he calls me.

"Will?"

"Hey."

He sounds tired
. "What'd your mom say?"

"Don’t worry about her
. She was just not expecting to come home to that. I think she was more weirded out by me having someone over than us being asleep."

"Are you sure?"

"Cross my heart."

I hear him yawn
. "Did you want to talk more tomorrow?"

"No, I'm good. I don’t want to hang up."

I laugh. "You sound like you're about to fall asleep."

"
’M not," he mumbles before yawning again.

His yawns are contagious
, and I yawn. "You're making me sleepy."

"I wish I was there."

That makes me pout. "I wish you were too."

"Will you go with me to prom?"

"Really?"

There is a long pause
. "Will?" I wonder if he's fallen asleep.

"I'm here."

"Did you hear what I asked?"

"I did
. I was just thinking of a way to say what I wanted to say without it seeming lame."

"Lame?
Just spit it out."

"I want everyone to see you're with me."

I snort. "I'm pretty sure they all know that."

"I get that they see us kiss
, but I want everyone to know you're my girlfriend."

I don’t get it
. "Will, everyone knows it. Is there something else?"

"Aren't girls supposed to be all about prom? I just want to make you happy."

"I don't really care about prom. All I want is you, Will."

"I'm all yours
. I'd like to go only if you want to."

Hearing him say that makes me melt
. "Oh, Will. Of course I'll go to prom with you."

Our phone conversation goes on between yawns for another fifteen minutes. After a
‘no, you hang up first’ battle, I finally hang up and fall asleep.

Chapter 13

Present

Brian gives me a strange look as I return to my seat. I smile brightly and look away, blinking back tears that are threatening to spill. Why had I even gone outside with him? That was a stupid mistake, and I need to be more careful. It is taking everything not to pull out my cell phone and purchase a seat on the next flight out of here. As much as I want to escape and put as many miles as I can between myself and these painful memories, I cannot hurt my brother like that. It means so much to him that I came, and after meeting Christine, I was glad that I had, even if other stuff hurt.

It
strikes me as odd, though that in all the times Brian or my mother and I had talked over the years, neither of them had ever brought Will up. He seems pretty ensconced in their lives. Did they hide his involvement on purpose? I need to relax, I just sit there, nervously waiting for Will to come back inside and sit back down. I’m so distracted I jump when my uncle Chip lowers himself into Will's seat instead.

"Hey
, Bri. Will had to take off. He wasn’t feeling well." Chip glances at me. "He wanted me to let you know."

He left because of me. I k
now it. I feel awful until I remember this is my brother's wedding. If someone should leave, it should be him, but I still feel bad. There are times I hate Will, for what had happened and for what he had done. I lost a piece of myself that night, and in all of these years, have never found it. That night changed me. I was so naïve and trusting and mostly in love. I am no longer naïve, and I cannot say with certainty I trust anyone other than myself. Love, that one I'm stuck with. As much as I hate Will sometimes, I will always love him. Sometimes, still caring for him that way is what hurts the most.

After the reception
, I ride back with Brian and Christine to their place. Brian wants to show off their condo, and I’m curious to see him living like a grown up. Their building is small, and their place is on the third floor. They have one assigned spot that Christine's car is already in, so parking is interesting given the time of night. Brian lucks out, catching a spot close to the building when someone leaves. They hold hands as I follow behind, envying the gesture. Christine turns back to point out things as we walk up. There is no elevator. Halfway up the stairs, I think about taking my shoes off, but I’d be barefoot, so gross.