Happy Chaos (27 page)

I was also very good friends with Cathy Moriarty during this time, who owned Mulberry Street Pizzeria, and I used to hang out there all the time. So instead of going home to face my mother with my wrecked Jetta, I went over to show Cathy the damage. Joey, another one of my friends who worked there, knew a place where we could get my car fixed—for seven hundred dollars. Oh my God, there was no way I could go to my mother for seven hundred dollars to fix the car. Then I'd have to tell her how I crashed it in the first place. So Joey fronted me the money, the body shop fixed my car, and I worked with my friends at Mulberry Street Pizzeria to pay off my debt. I don't know if my mother ever knew the real reason why I was flipping pizzas for a few months after that.

There were so many crazy things that I did with my friends back then, because let's face it—teenagers are teenagers. But even when I was at my wackiest, I always came home. And I always knew that there really wasn't anything I couldn't tell my mom. Maybe I didn't tell her about the car . . . or that night I ran through Manhattan with the munchies . . . but I told her the really important stuff, always. And I want my girls to do the same thing. Of course, we'll give them all the really important parental advice when the time comes—never drive drunk, always call home if they need a ride, how to be safe and take care of themselves.

The girls might roll their eyes at us when we tell them these things, but I know that they'll get the message. We'll leave our lessons for them like a trail of bread crumbs in the forest. And then when they have their wild-child moments, they'll always be able to find their way home again.

I really feel like my mother was always my mom first. I knew a lot of kids growing up whose mothers wanted to be their best friends, but who were not really there for them as a parent. It was important for my mom to feel like her role as my mother was clear while still maintaining an openness and trust between us that made me feel like she was a friend I could turn to.

I think it is important to be a parent and for our kids to have an understanding of who we are and what the role of parent means in the family dynamic. Our kids feel safe and protected when they know they can depend on the person or people closest in their lives. I also think that the open line of communication between us and our children will create a friendship and bond with our kids that they will cherish. When they are older, I would love to sit and have coffee with my girls while reading our favorite books, but more importantly I want them to know that they can always come to me and that I am going to look out for them as their parent and that there are boundaries that we each must respect.

If you're a new parent, it may feel really early to be thinking about these things, but it's never too early to figure out what kind of parent you want to be when those moments come—and we all know they will—when your kid is being a wild child. Reflect back to when you were young. What were the best lessons you ever learned and who taught them to you? Write down the things that most helped you and the areas where you wish that you could have had more support. I think some of the best lessons can come out of our own experiences. Also ask yourself, how did your parents handle certain situations ? Would you have handled them differently?

When you're talking to your child about how to handle certain dangers of the world—whether it is to look both ways before they cross the street, or not to talk to strangers, or not to drink and drive—don't be surprised if your child looks away and insists they know all of that already. Sometimes, as parents, we have to be repetitive and even annoying to get a point across to our kids. Especially when their wild child comes out at a very young age.

Question of the day: What is something that you have always wanted to do but have been too afraid to try?

“Culinary school.”

—Cari

“World travel—not sure how to handle it with the kids.”

—Nicole P.

“Maybe sky dive, but I really don't think I would ever have the guts to jump out of a plane.”

—Irene

“I have always wanted to learn Sign Language, but have not gotten around to it. I wouldn't say that I am afraid to try it, but rather that I want to have the time that I will need to devote to it, so that I can master it.”

—Nicole A.G.

 

I
grew up believing I could do anything, and I married a man who's totally supportive of every new and crazy idea I come up with. So of course, we want our girls to know that they can do anything, too.

A few weeks ago at school, Poet was out on the playground with her friends when she announced to the school's director, “We're superheroes and we're saving the world.” So the director said, “Great, when will you be finished saving the world?” Then Poet gave her a look that said,
Hey lady, you can't rush these things,
and said with a little exasperation, “We're working on it! It takes time to save the world.”

I would love to save the world—or at least make it a little better for my girls and future generations. For me, the first baby step in that direction was starting my company, the Little Seed. My friend Paige and I had both been searching the globe looking for healthy, organic alternatives for our kids, and had found it incredibly difficult to find the products we wanted for our little ones. We knew that if we were feeling this way, then there were probably millions of other families feeling the same. We were two moms who wanted to do something from our hearts, something that allowed us to be with our children and make a difference at the same time—so we decided to start our own company.

We tracked down the best possible organic products from baby bottles to toys, bedding, clothing, and any other healthy alternatives that we loved for our own kids. Within a month of opening the Little Seed, a huge number of children's toys were recalled, and we were suddenly thrust into the roles of eco mamas. Numerous news outlets showed up at our doorstep asking us what BPA meant, and asking questions about phthalates and toxins. Here we were discovering all of these incredible alternatives ourselves, and being given a voice and a platform to share that knowledge with others. Parents would come into our store and write us letters telling us about their favorite products. I have always believed that the mission of the Little Seed is so much bigger than Paige and me. It is a movement for families everywhere.

My partner in the Little Seed, Paige, and me hanging out at my house

 

Within a year we developed our own line of colorful organics and raw cotton clothing. I became a proud designer. At first I knew nothing about the garment industry and I had never gone to school for design, but here I was sketching baby pants and T-shirts. I would sit in front of color palettes with the girls and we would pick out colors together. It became a true family affair.

Paige and I had big dreams for the Little Seed—and the biggest was to have our own aisle at Target. Then, about two years after we opened our shop in Los Angeles, there we were, our faces on more than a thousand endcaps across the country at Target with our bright and colorful line. This didn't happen overnight. It took tons of hard work, lots of flying back and forth to Minneapolis, and endless hours of designing, but we did it together. Our dream of making organics affordable for every parent and sharing our mission with the world came true. It was an amazing, brilliant, sometimes rocky, but incredibly creative journey . . . and if we knew then what we know now, we may have been too scared even to begin. Ignorance can be bliss!

Of course, a job that was supposed to be something we could do easily from home with our kids on our hips has turned into a huge endeavor, and sometimes Paige and I have to laugh that we thought we'd have so much flexibility with a company like this. We're flexible, all right—especially when we're up at all hours of the night working long after our kids are in bed. But I wouldn't trade it. The truth is, I love having ten things going on at once, and I love watching how this little seed that we planted has grown into a big tree with branches and roots all over the place. The Little Seed isn't just a store anymore; it's a whole community, and I couldn't be happier. So to all moms and dads out there: If you have a crazy idea rolling around in your head—something you've always wanted to try, a company you want to start, a product you want to invent, a T-shirt you want to design—I say, go for it. And if it might make the world a better place? All the better!

Here are just a few super-easy things you can do to make your family, your home, and the world a little healthier:

Working from home is amazing, but sometimes it is tough and I don't want my kids ever to feel like they are getting forty or fifty percent of me; I want them to get the whole package. So I am trying to be better about it. I realized recently that if I set some boundaries, it made it better on all of us. A few months ago I noticed that sometimes the problem for them isn't that I have to work; it's that I seem distracted. Now I make sure I set aside time just for the kids. If they're pulling on me to stop working, I might say, “Okay, in twenty minutes I'm going to stop, and then it's Mommy Time.” And during that time they have my total, undivided attention. We bake, do a bath, cook, draw, or make lunch and talk. No phone, no e-mail. Then, when Mommy Time is over, it's back to work for a while. And because my girls know that when I am with them they have me one hundred percent, it's become a lot easier to tell them when it's Work Time.