Handle Me with Care (3 page)

Chapter Three

Maddie squeezed past the group of teenagers huddled beside the doorway of the tram and tracked down the last spare seat towards the back, next to an open window. She watched the suburbs pass by as the breeze delicately toyed with her hair. Her hand rested on her Kindle, but instead of tapping in her password and diving into her latest book, she found her thoughts drifting back to last weekend.

When she had finally made it to the bachelorette party, a whiff of alcohol had snaked through the air, and she’d laughed with the gaggle of girls crowding round and pointing at several peculiar-looking attempts to fashion a penis out of clay.

But that wasn’t the party that had stuck in her mind.

Jem’s party had taken up a considerable amount of her thinking time over the last few days. She could still picture Evan’s smile, his height, the stubble that hypnotised her when he spoke.

Typical. The girl opposite was talking into her phone at a volume more suitable for a nightclub than a tram full of commuters.

‘Did you see the news feature on Ground Zero this morning?’ The girl spoke with an American accent.

Maddie’s heart quickened. She pulled her iPod from her bag – perfect for this sort of emergency – as the girl’s voice rose above the volume of the other commuters.

‘I still think of all those people, their families …’ the girl continued.

The American accent, combined with the topic of conversation, felt like tiny hammers beating away inside Maddie’s head as it brought everything flooding back to her. Her hands shook as she fumbled with her headphones, and she only relaxed when the sounds of Pink
belted out so loud that the girl shot her a turn-it-down-I’m-trying-to-talk-here dirty look.

As the tune pounded her eardrums, Maddie was right back there on the morning when she had woken to the terrible telephone call, that split second when her life moved from what was so familiar to what she never imagined it could be. 

On September 11th 2001, the world’s worst terror attacks in New York had changed her life, and so many others’, unequivocally. Maddie’s boyfriend, Riley, was working in New York, and that morning he had an important meeting in the North Tower of the World Trade Center. He had spoken at length with Maddie the night before about his excitement. His firm had given him the reins, and he was leading the meeting and presenting to an important client who was looking to employ Riley’s team of management consultants.

Maddie had assumed it would be Riley calling, nervous about the interview, and she’d answered the phone with a smile. But it was Caitlin, his mum, and as Maddie had listened to her urgent voice, she flicked on the television to see the news filling most channels; the news that shocked the entire world. Even now she could remember those images vividly: the smoke and dust billowing out of the North tower; debris raining from the skies; sirens blaring in the background; the screams that filled the streets.

‘I love you.’ Those were her last words to Riley, and as the tram spat her out on Collins Street in Melbourne’s Central Business District, Maddie remembered Riley repeating those exact words back to her. They’d been each other’s pasts, they were supposed to be each other’s future, but in the blink of an eye all that had disappeared. 

Feeling empty inside, Maddie crossed the road and pushed through the glass entrance doors of the building where she worked on the fourth floor at Palmer’s Physiotherapy. She pulled out her headphones and muttered hello to Tilly, the receptionist, who called out her compliments for the chocolate mud cake Maddie had supplied for her birthday over the weekend. Usually she was prepared for exactly what had just happened on the tram. On the anniversary of Riley’s death, she always started the day armed with her iPod and a playlist full of loud rock songs that obliterated the world around her; she would leave the television switched off for a few days either side of the actual date; she never so much as glanced at a newspaper or the billboards that graced the little kiosks on so many street corners in Melbourne’s CBD; she avoided Facebook, Twitter and all other social media.

But today she had been caught out. Today was nowhere near the anniversary of 9/11, and it was on occasions like this that she wasn’t quite the prepared Girl Scout whom she wanted to be.

Throwing herself into her work was always a great antidote. A busy morning focusing on sore knees, back problems and neck issues helped Maddie block out thoughts of Riley and the day that would haunt her forever. But in the staffroom at lunchtime, as she released the elastic band from around a plastic tray of sushi, her colleague Stuart dumped a newspaper right beside her and familiar words and pictures hit her in the face like a giant slap. The headline of the article about the opening of the new National September 11 Memorial & Museum taunted her, and she pushed her food away.

Maddie wondered if the coverage of that day, or anything to do with 9/11 whatsoever, would ever be relegated so far to the back of the newspapers and the backs of the minds of the media that it fell out of the news altogether.

Maddie’s phone pinged with an incoming text message. It was Adam, a mistake she had made almost a month ago. She hit delete. Unfortunately, he hadn’t yet realised she wasn’t interested in a repeat performance. Short, sharp flings had become a habit since Riley, and men like Adam lasted barely as long as a litre of milk before she pulled away. Getting attached and relying on someone was where it all went wrong; that was where you risked leaving yourself open to hurt, open to pain.

*

After work Maddie stopped at the supermarket. It was Ally’s mum’s birthday this Friday and she had promised to bake a cake for her. Flour was the last item on her list, and she wasn’t thrilled to see half of the packets had white dust leaking from the bottom. She stood on tiptoes to try to reach one from a higher shelf, and her fingertips gradually worked the packet towards the edge.

‘Here, let me do that.’ A familiar voice came from behind her as a hand stretched up and deftly plucked the package from the shelf.

‘Evan.’

He gripped the large package in the palm of his hand and laid it carefully into the basket looped over her arm. She watched him eye the rest of the items she had collected. Thank goodness she didn’t have tampons or condoms in there or she knew she would be going a lot redder than she was right now.

He looked thoughtful. ‘You’re not making another penis are you?’

‘It’s a birthday cake for a friend, and a lot more tasteful. It’ll be a gift box with plain chocolate and white chocolate bows around the edge,’ she babbled.

Evan watched her intently, and it gave her the same giddy feelings she’d had at the party last weekend. He leaned against a shelf full of packets of sugar, his hands pushed into a faded pair of Levis. ‘You turned me down when I asked you out.’

‘I didn’t turn you down, I just didn’t answer.’ Her heart quickened as she noticed his manly arms that hadn’t been on show last time they met. His skin was lightly tanned, and subtle-yet-definitely-there biceps sat beneath dark-grey T-shirt sleeves.

‘It’s the same thing.’ 

His eyes looked as though they could get their way whenever he wanted, the way a magician could move an object across the table by staring at it for long enough. 

‘I’m going to go out on a limb here,’ he rushed on, saving her from providing an explanation. ‘Can I take you out to dinner? I promise I’ll behave and I won’t even mention that cake. If you really don’t have a good time, just don’t go out with me again.’

He made it sound so simple.

‘Okay,’ she said before she could talk herself out of it.

‘Okay what?’

‘Dinner sounds good.’

‘Fantastic.’ He pulled out his phone. ‘If you give me your number, I’ll text you and then you’ll have mine. How does Friday sound?’

‘Friday would be great.’ She reeled off her details and he tapped them into the device.

He picked up the empty basket down by his feet. ‘I’ll see you Friday.’

As Maddie made for the checkout and Evan headed in the opposite direction, she wondered when it would hit her that Evan was no different from the other men that had come along since Riley. Sure, there was a strong attraction, but was there really anything that separated him from the rest?

When she boarded the tram, her phone pinged to signal an incoming message:

It’s a date. E.

Short and to the point, but it was enough to make Maddie smile; not the fake smile she sometimes put on, either, like the smile she sometimes forced with men who lasted no more than one or two dates.

She sat back in her seat as the tram began its battle through the rush hour traffic along the grand boulevard of St Kilda Road towards her apartment. If Evan was just like all the rest, then why was she so agitated every time she saw him or when she found herself thinking about him as she was doing now?

Maddie had known pain plenty of times before. She’d had her appendix out when she was eight, her hamster died when she was ten, and she remembered being clobbered accidentally by a baseball bat when she walked behind the batsman at an interschool match. But those types of pain were short-lived. They hurt for a while, but with a bit of tender loving care, she got over them. Riley had been the love of her life, and she was his; when he died the raw yet numbing pain had never left Maddie’s side and part of her had died too. The only difference was her body remained above ground.

Maddie wasn’t sure whether anyone got two chances at real happiness, but maybe, just maybe, Evan was the man to make her take a risk and try again.

Chapter Four

Maddie lifted the plastic cover and revealed the gift box cake. ‘Well, what do you think?’

‘I think it’s totally awesome.’ Ally leaned in to smell the chocolate creation. ‘It smells like heaven. Thank you so much. Mum will love it.’

Maddie dropped the fondant ribbon cutter
into the sink. ‘You can borrow that cake carrier to take it home with you if you like. And let me know how the party goes tonight.’

‘I will, on one condition.’ Ally clipped down the plastic sides of the carrier.

‘What’s that?’

‘You fill me in with all the juicy details about Evan when I next see you.’

Maddie rolled her eyes. ‘Of course, now off you go or you’ll be late.’

After Ally left, Maddie headed for the shower. She laughed at her reflection – she had flour on one ear lobe and across an eyebrow and dried white chocolate on her wrist. As she let the water wash away the evidence, she wondered whether tonight’s date with Evan would be as successful as she wanted it to be. Perhaps tonight it would be her attitude that could make all the difference. Perhaps being open to possibilities could finally enable her to move forwards.

She blow-dried her hair and then pulled on her favourite Stitch’s jeans, an ink-coloured top with a twist in the neckline and slipped into navy ballet flats with a crushed velvet appearance to complete the outfit. She adopted the obligatory mascara-pose with eyes wide and mouth open as she stroked the wand against her eyelashes, and she applied the faintest stroke of mocha eye shadow. With a dash of berry lip gloss that highlighted straight, white teeth – courtesy of dental plates and train-track braces that had coincided with puberty blues – she was ready to go.

She pulled a cardigan from the wardrobe, and it was then that her eyes fell on the shoe box on the shelf above the clothes rail. She rarely opened it these days, but Evan had stirred up feelings Maddie had thought she would never know again, and tonight she was drawn to its contents.

She pulled off the tatty lid to reveal the few mementoes she had kept from her time with Riley, including a bundle of letters dating back to when he first arrived in New York and a collection of postcards from the Big Apple. She didn’t read those, and she didn’t pull out the movie stub from their first date, either, nor the friendship bracelet he had given her on their first holiday up to Noosa. Instead, she took out the single, framed photograph – she had heaps of photos from their years as a couple, but they were stashed away within albums. Deep-green, trusting eyes looked back at her from beneath a light-brown fringe; a chiselled jaw harboured lips she had kissed a thousand times or more. This was the picture she kept for such times, times when she needed to run her hand across the glass of the frame as though she could feel his skin, the warmth from his mouth, the softness of his breath.

The autumn light had already begun to fade, and with a sigh Maddie replaced the lid of the box and pushed it to the back of the wardrobe. She was about to go on a date with a man who excited her, who made her heart do somersaults. She hoped tonight she would be able to smile and laugh freely without doing what she usually did, which was to imagine it was Riley sitting opposite her instead, laughing at one of their in-jokes nobody else understood.

The tram whisked Maddie from outside her apartment block to the historic Flinders Street Station, which dominated the banks of the Yarra River and basked in a sandy-coloured glow beneath the lights of the city. The grand station, topped with an enormous dome that shone at night like a golden beacon and visible for miles, was a cultural icon of Melbourne that linked suburbs to the big city.

Maddie passed underground, through the station, and over the pedestrian footbridge to Southbank, where the Crown Entertainment Complex, home to a casino, restaurants, cinemas and bars, lined one side of the river. Dotted along the boardwalk were tall, chimney-like towers which stood at around ten metres high. The start time was dependent upon the season, but usually when darkness descended, powerful orange fireballs would launch high into the air from the top of the towers, on the hour, every hour, and light up the night sky.

Maddie stood and watched the water run down from the grooved granite faces of the towers and listened to the gas stir inside as the time crept towards eight o’clock.

‘We can come back on the hour to see the flames,’ a voice said from behind her.

‘Hi.’ His gaze made her even more nervous than the time she had played the piano to the entire school in assembly.

The lights from the casino interrupted the velvet of the night sky and gave Evan’s hair a subtle sheen. Her eyes briefly dipped to his strong jaw and the stubble that looked comfortable and exactly where it should be.

‘Any thoughts on where you’d like to eat?’ he asked. ‘What’s your favourite food?’

She was relieved that he hadn’t asked her to name a restaurant because right now she felt sure she would struggle to remember her own surname. ‘I love seafood,’ she said instead. ‘That is … unless you hate it?’

‘I know the perfect place.’ He tipped his head in the right direction and held out his arm for her to go first before the crowds descended in anticipation of the flame extravaganza. She felt his hand rest lightly in the small of her back as he guided her away from the water’s edge and towards the restaurants. It was a presumptuous move, but one she didn’t mind from him.

‘How was the birthday cake for your friend?’

The flames launched into action as they walked away, and she felt her own temperature go up a notch. ‘She loved it. Anything chocolate and we’re both happy.’ She tried to subtly take in his outfit. He wore a mid-blue, checked dress shirt beneath a lightweight navy jacket, and she was happy to see he had favoured jeans too. The cut suited him, and when she dropped back slightly to avoid colliding with a cyclist heading their way, she noticed a nice bum hugged by the denim.

‘Any more orders of the ‘interesting’ variety?’ He waited for her to catch up alongside him once again.

‘No, not yet.’ She smiled. ‘Last year I did make a rather naughty Santa for a Christmas in July party.’

‘Tell me more.’

She felt her tummy tie itself in a knot, not wanting to list the details now, wishing she hadn’t blurted that out for something interesting to say.

‘All I’ll say is that there were some elves doing some pretty indecent things.’

‘You’re an interesting girl, Maddie.’ His eyes lingered on her a moment longer than was comfortable.

At the restaurant the menu was overwhelming, or maybe it was the company that had thrown her. Maddie flicked to the second page and then the third, processing options of barramundi with lemon butter, seafood linguine, mussels in tomato and chilli sauce or crab ravioli.

Evan looked up from his menu. ‘How would you feel about sharing something?’

‘Honestly? I’d feel relieved. I’m having a hard time trying to decide what
not
to have.’

When the waiter appeared and made a fuss of shaking out the starched napkins from their swan shapes, Evan ordered the seafood platter for two. Maddie watched him all the while: the sneaky glimpse of his wrist as his fingers stretched out to point to a menu item, the firmness of his torso beneath his shirt. She couldn’t drag her eyes away.

‘Red or white?’ asked Evan. ‘Wine,’ he added for clarification when she looked blank.

Had he seen her gawping at him as though he was the first man she had ever seen?

They settled on a bottle of Sauvignon Blanc and when the waiter left them alone, Evan asked, ‘So how was your day?’

She flicked her hair behind her shoulder and tried to relax. ‘Busy.’ 

‘That makes two of us. Although, I bet you didn’t have to separate two males getting physical over a whiteboard eraser.’

‘True,’ she smiled. ‘Do you enjoy being a teacher?’

‘Mostly, yes, although some days are more challenging than others. But hey, where else can I go to work and be greeted by twenty-two co-workers who are ecstatic to see me?’

‘That’s a good point. So where do you teach?’

‘I teach at Huntley Primary School not far from Huntley High Street. I’ve got year ones this time round, which is a bit easier than the newbies.’

The waiter returned and held out the wine bottle for Evan’s inspection. Evan shook his head at the offer to taste.

‘I hate it when they do that,’ he said when the waiter took their bottle away to put it on ice.

‘You mean when they ask you to taste?’

‘Well that, yes, but I meant when they whisk the bottle away and top you up discreetly so you’ve no idea how much you’ve had to drink.’

‘And you have no idea why you end up totally sloshed?’

‘Exactly, but at least I don’t live far so I don’t need to worry about driving.’

‘Me either.’

They launched into a conversation about the merits of living in the city as opposed to the suburbs.

The seafood platter arrived and Maddie’s eyes widened at the enormity of it as the waiter laid out some tools of the trade.

‘Sorry, you first,’ said Evan as they both went for the same Moreton Bay bug.

‘Thank you.’ Maddie lifted the red-shelled crustacean that had been cooked in garlic butter with parsley on to her plate and Evan took the other. She bit into the white, opaque, firm flesh from the tail.

Evan lifted an Oyster Kilpatrick next, and as he tipped his head back to swallow the tangy sauce from the shell, Maddie tried to take her eyes away from the flesh of his neck where the stubble stopped to reveal bare skin. She noticed his tongue moved briefly between his lips to catch any remnants.

‘We’re spoilt in Australia with all this seafood.’ As a distraction she reached for an Oyster Kilpatrick and savoured the flavour of the bacon and the sauce, which brought out the sweetness and saltiness of the food.

‘You’re not wrong,’ he agreed. ‘Mind you, I went to Sri Lanka a few years ago and had an out-of-this-world squid curry.’

‘Have you travelled much?’

‘Not a huge amount. I was never one of those people who went backpacking for a year before they found a job. After University I completed my work experience stint, and that was that. Money permitting, I try to see a bit of the world in the holidays though.’

‘The holidays must be a perk.’

‘They are, but contrary to what many people believe, teachers do have to put in extra time at home for planning, marking, keeping on top of the latest education developments. So what about you? Did you do the backpacking thing?’

‘I’ve only travelled in the holidays, and even then it’s expensive. I wanted to buy my apartment so that put a stop to any more worldly experiences for a while. And I’m a bit of a homebody, to be honest.’

‘You don’t have to be embarrassed by that,’ he admonished.

‘I’m not.’ She’d taken herself by surprise at how easy the conversation was flowing. ‘Don’t get me wrong, I’d love to see more of the world one day, but I also love this country and we have so many beautiful places right on our doorstep.’

‘Here, here.’ Evan raised his glass and Maddie chinked hers against it.  

‘Mind you, I did have a very bad experience in Tasmania once,’ said Maddie.

‘Do tell.’

‘I went over there with my friend Ally and we stayed in a bed and breakfast over the Easter weekend. We went to a beautiful seafood restaurant and Ally had a steak – she isn’t a fan of anything fishy or seafood-like – but I had the garlic prawns. Anyway, that night I was up vomiting and it carried on until three days later when we headed back to Melbourne.’

‘I bet that ruined the weekend, didn’t it?’

‘Not only that. It was freezing and rained the entire time, and the owner of the bed and breakfast was a complete cow. Ally had asked her to stay out of the room because I was sick, and eight o’clock one morning when Ally had gone for a walk, there she was vacuuming in the hallway, bashing the blessed thing into the door. I couldn’t wait to come home after that.’

‘It sounds like she had it in for you two.’

‘Oh, she did. The night of the food poisoning, Ally got wasted on wine and ended up falling into the table in the hall and smashing the vase on it. She was so drunk that she insisted we wake the owner to tell her what had happened. The owner was none too happy with us.’

Amused by the disaster story, Evan told one of his own. ‘I once went to Noosa with my girlfriend at the time, and we got so drunk on the first night that we went skinny dipping.’

‘Oh no, please tell me you didn’t get caught.’

‘We did, by the hotel manager. But he was male and when he saw Kate – she had a pretty good body – he let us off with a warning.’

‘Ah, a bit like when a woman flutters her eyelashes at a parking inspector and he lets her off?’

‘Exactly,’ said Evan.

‘So why was it a disaster if you didn’t get into trouble?’

‘Kate ended up copping off with the manager the following night. I fell asleep after a day at the beach and she’d left me a note to say she had gone to the bar. She probably didn’t think I’d join her, but I did, and there she was kissing the face off of him.’

‘Surely he should’ve been disciplined.’