Authors: Hailey Giblin
When Colin appeared in court over the assault against Christine, he stood firm in his plea of not guilty, on the grounds that he did not batter her as she claimed, although he unreservedly admitted slapping her. He admitted this on the basis that they take into consideration what she had done to his face and thumb.
I remember seeing him the day after they had the fight. His mouth was bruised black and blue and his hand still had teeth marks in it.
When we got to court the lawyer said to Colin, âHave a look at these pictures.'
After viewing them, Colin said to me in a daze, âHonestly, Hailey, she was black and blue. Her whole face was like⦠her eye out here, but I never did that. I will put my hand on my heart and I will admit that I did slap her across the faceâ¦'
âRight,' I said.
âBut only after she had punched me in the mouth four times and bitten my fingers.'
Colin's brother was in court and he said, âYou have got these other charges relating to Hailey pending. What are you going to do?'
Colin said, âWell, I haven't done that and I am not going to stand there and say I have committed it when I haven't.'
Christine's doctor was called and he confirmed to the court, âYes, she came to me.'
Colin wasn't happy about admitting to such an emotive charge. He was adamant that, sometime between him slapping her and the police being called, something else had happened, but he couldn't prove it.
She said that Colin had kicked her in the chest and in the ribs. His lawyer had a point when he said, âWhere are the pictures of her ribs and the pictures of her chest
and her back and everything. If she is so black and blue, where are they?'
The reply was: âShe didn't want us to take any pictures.'
âWhy not?'
âWell, we don't know.'
So when the judge asked Colin, âHow do you plead?' he reluctantly replied, âGuilty.' The file in front of the judge was marked âNot guilty', so this came as a surprise to the judge and he asked Colin, âHave you changed your plea?'
âYes I have,' he said.
Then the prosecution stood up and said, âM'lud, please bear in mind before you say that this man can walk free today that back in 1989 he was driving over the speed limit.'
What that had to do with the seriousness of the charge Colin faced was anyone's guess. But you can bet they didn't wipe that from the records from 1989, though they sure as hell wiped the allegations against Huntley from 1995 onwards.
T
HE DISPARITY BETWEEN THE WAY THE POLICE HANDLED THE CHARGE OF UNDERAGE SEXUAL INTERCOURSE, IN RELATION TO ME, AGAINST MY THEN HUSBAND-TO-BE
C
OLIN AND THE WAY THEY HANDLED MY ALLEGATION AGAINST
I
AN
H
UNTLEY IS BEYOND COMPREHENSION.
I believe he was able to get the job as a caretaker at a school because he gave his surname as âNixon'. He had also put at the bottom of the form âformerly Huntley', but they did not check that name. This makes me think that having the nerve to put âformerly Huntley' is a bit like Maxine Carr applying for a credit card and, on being asked, âHave you ever used a previous name?', answering, âMaxine Carr.' I don't personally think that you would dare do it if you were carrying that sort of
baggage. So when Huntley put that on the form, I think he was lining everything up.
I believe that someone did not put all of the access details from that form into the computer, but, even if they did, it wouldn't show anything anyway. I know the police had apologised for that failure, but that doesn't bring back the dead! Personally, I don't think it was a failure. I think it was a major fuck-up, major because Huntley clearly had blood on his hands.
I was startled when they said they couldn't do anything with forensics or DNA. They said I had left it too long. But they were saying that to a 12-year-old girl. I thought it was my fault;my fault that he couldn't be prosecuted.
I do feel that I have recourse against the police for their failings prior to what Huntley did to me and during their inquiry into my allegation.
Moving on to September 2002, when it was announced that Huntley was to face prosecution for the murders of Holly Wells and Jessica Chapman. We had been keeping a close watch on the TV for news of the police investigation and Colin came in and said, âDo you mind if I just put the telly on, darling, just to see about these two little girls?' It was odd because just about two weeks before this, for the first time in maybe six months, the name Ian Huntley came into my head. We were passing under a bridge near our home and I couldn't remember if it was Huntley or Hunter, or
something like that. Just forget about him, I thought. I don't need that rubbish right now.
I was sitting behind the settee, sorting out a few bits and bobs, and the journalist on the TV announced, âToday Ian Huntley has beenâ¦' and I just stood up and my whole body went into involuntary spasm. I was shaking from head to toe. I couldn't stop.
I could barely get the words out. âThat's him, that's him.'
Colin said, âWhat do you mean, “That's him”?'
As if to be sure that it was Huntley, I repeated more clearly, âThat's him.'
âThat Ian!' Colin exploded.
âYes.'
I broke into a screaming fit of blind, incoherent rage. âThat's him. He's obviously done it. Oh my God.' I was going wild. It was as though I couldn't believe what I was seeing. What made it worse was that the news report showed the cunning monster doing TV interviews. I was just so shocked and I ended up ringing my auntie, saying, âI'm trying to get hold of my mum and her phone is off the hook.' So my uncle went round to my mum's house and said, âHailey's trying to get hold of you.'
When I eventually got through to my mum, she started crying and I was just so angry that I burst out, âI don't know what you're crying for, because nobody gave me the support I needed.'
âDon't say that, we did support you,' she said.
âNo, you didn't. You didn't, because you would have had him done, like you tried to have Colin done.'
âDon't say that. Don't say that. That could have been me, you know, just like them parents sat there saying, “My daughter is dead.”'
I said, âWhoop-de-do, that could have been me in the grave. But I am not thinking, Well, that could have been me he did to what he has done to them.'
It was a really stressful time and, to be honest, I don't think words can describe how I felt. That whole day I just couldn't stop shaking. I have never experienced anything like it as an adult. In one way it must have been some sort of spiritual release to know that this now proved that this man was a ticking time bomb waiting to go off, and everybody had the warning signs but I felt they just hadn't listened to me.
I remember, four weeks after meeting Colin, I revealed to him my secret suffering. âI have been sexually abused,' I said.
Taken aback, he said, âCrikey! And what got done about that?'
We got into a deeper conversation about it and I said, âI just wanted to tell people and to have them believe me.'
I just wanted him to give me a hug and say, âDon't worry,' and that is exactly what Colin did, but that wasn't the reason that I felt love for him.
After we had been together for about a year or so, I
asked him, âDo you believe me, Colin? Now do you believe me?'
âOf course I believe you. I believed you from the start,' he replied.
He was unfaltering, never doubting me once, whereas a few other people had said, âWell, are you sure you didn't imagine this?'
âNo,' I said to every one of them.
But that is what happened: people thought I had let my imagination run wild. That is one thing Colin never believed. There was not a shadow of a doubt in his mind. Even so, I kept looking for reassurance, or perhaps doubt. âDo you believe me? Are you sure?'
At this time the press were keen to run a story. Previously, I had refused every time they asked, so as not to lose my pride and dignity. Yet the
ever-increasing
threats from them that they would print a story with or without my co-operation left me worried that they would print a half-baked version of their own. So I gave them their precious story, but at least it was the truth.
Consequently, when Huntley came to trial, I was asked by the police to give evidence and come forward as a prosecution witness. I received a telephone call, not even a knock at the door, and the conversation was along these lines:
âHi, is that Hailey?
âWho's calling?'
âMy name's Kim and I'm calling from the Cambridgeshire Police.'
âWhat can I do for you?'
âObviously, we have heard what happened to you, it is on file. Your complaint in 1997 about what Huntley did to you.'
On hearing the name âHuntley', I had to hold myself together as the chill of death once again ran down my spine.
I squeezed my insides and managed to cough out, âYes.'
âCan I just ask you a few questions?'
âNo, I don't want to talk about it, sorry. I'm not interested.'
âWell, why not?'
âWell, are you from the police?'
âYes.'
âRight, give me your telephone number, give me your special number and wherever you are from and I will call you back just to make sure you are from the police.' It could be anybody, I was thinking.
Obviously, I told Colin and he asked, âWho was on the phone?'
âIt was Kim from the Cambridgeshire Police,' I told him.
He tried to reassure me, saying, âKeep your head, keep cool. Just relax. Nobody is going to hurt you. Nobody is going to force you into doing anything if you don't want to. If you want to do it, you say yes. If you don't want to do it, say no.'
Kim gave me her telephone number and I got through to the Cambridgeshire Police and asked, âCould I speak to so-and-so?'
After getting the usual runaround, I asked, âWhat's all this about then?'
Back on the phone, Kim defused my anger by starting with: âHailey, we just want to ask you a few questions.'
I cautiously asked, âWhat about?'
âAbout the attack that happened on you.'
âRight.'
âI only want to ask you a few questions.'
âAnd do you expect to get an answer?'
âWhy?'
âYou want my help?'
âYes.'
âWell, tough luck because I needed your help four years ago and you did nothing. Nobody was there for me. I was on my own every single night crying my eyes out. I was the one that wet the bed every single night, cut my hair off and started cutting my arms and everything.'
As I spoke, haunting flashbacks ran through my head like ghosts. I was alone, very lost, and now, after all these years, they wanted my help! Two girls murdered, and they even had my details on file. Funny, isn't it, how they had them at hand in readiness for Huntley's trial but not for the vetting of his job application?
No one had cared at that time and here they were
now begging for my help. Their barefaced cheek sent shock waves through my system.
âHow dare you call me and ask me this,' I raged.
âWhy, is there a problem?' She was pushing her luck.
âOK, let's put it into perspective,' I suggested. âIf your child was to come home, get sexually abused or something like that by the man down the road, I guarantee you would not call in a special unit, you would go and castrate him.'
âI can't comment on that,' was her evasive response.
âYou see, and that's because you have got your police badge on. But at the end of the day it's just a nine-
to-five
job to you.'
If the police liaison unit had been involved, or if it had been a policewoman telling me, âHe deserves everything he gets, pet. We will be behind you and we will get this bastard and we will nail him, even if we have got to do it part-time when we are not getting paid for it,' then I would have stood in the dock for them.
All those years of self-injury, self-abuse, self-denial, self-hatred, self-blame and self-recrimination ruined my childhood, my early teens and my education. Just everything. I have years that can't be replaced. I am not able to retrieve that.
I used self-injury as a coping mechanism to help me overcome the emotional stress that I was incapable of dealing with in any other way. Self-injury was a means of escape, a way to relieve the numbness, and an
expression of the pain within me. Something that the police wouldn't care about. They just wanted their day in court, they were desperate to stop the shit hitting the fan, but it was too late⦠it already had, years earlier.
In no uncertain terms, I told the police to sling their hook, but they weren't having any of it and kept calling me in the hope that I would cave in. They called me on about five occasions in total. This wasn't the âgood cop, bad cop' routine; it was a haunting recurrence of when Huntley persistently abused me.
The police were actually adding to my pain and suffering by pursuing me. If it had been Huntley doing that to me and I had the proof, I would have said, âHey, Mr Policeman, Huntley is giving me trouble here,' and then they might have sent him a letter, at the very least.
In one conversation with the police, I said an emphatic no to their request for me to attend Huntley's trial as a prosecution witness. The woman calling me probed sneakily, âWell, don't you want to help bring this man to justice for doing what he did to Holly and Jessica?'
I snapped, âThere's nothing that would give me more satisfaction than doing that, but, to be honest, there's nothing like rubbing salt in the wound.'
Suddenly, to the police, I had gone from being the centre of an unprovable case to being worth her weight in gold as a star witness in the trial of the decade.
All of a sudden, they were wanting to kiss the hem
of my dress, and I went off on one, telling the woman, âThere is nothing more I would want than to see him stood in the dock and to see him guilty, guilty, guilty. Right you are, off to prison for however many years.
âI will come to court the day you prosecute him for what he did to me. Let me stand up there and prove what he did to me and be believed and then I will help you. You help me and I will help in return.'
At this, she soon changed her tune, blurting out, âWe can't, because the case file has been misplaced,' and giving me all these rubbish excuses.
I finished curtly, âIn which case, the answer is no. I needed your help many years ago and I didn't get anything.'
By this time, Colin was facing abduction charges â the unlawful sexual intercourse charge had not yet been put to him â relating to when we had gone off for a couple of weeks. The fact that the police were causing more unnecessary turmoil in my life by prosecuting the man I love caused me a lot of additional anger. I would lick mud off his boots and, to be honest, he would do the same for me because we are as close as that and nobody can come between us. People keep trying to but it just makes our resolve to ride it out stronger.
There is a major thing that happened in Colin's life when he was younger that he can't understand, but he can see where I am coming from because what
happened to me was like what happened to him and, be assured, the man I love will take that to his grave.
How I take things now is that I try to look to the future, but I am best dealing with things day by day. How I suffered at the hands of a family friend. How I coped with the immense pain of feeling dramatically let down and for Colin to have been pursued over a matter I had not complained of, when Huntley escaped similar charges, albeit he had not been pursued by a complainant, I do not know.
The impact on my life and other people's lives is immeasurable. How do you make the police change? How do you make them pay? How on earth could they make it right for me? I'll tell you how: by getting off their backsides. The police at ground level do a grand job, but the decision makers need to be taken to task for what happened in my case. If I sound bitter, that's because I
am
bitter.
Although they have punished and sent Huntley to prison for what he did to Holly and Jessica, are all the other victims just supposed to go, âOh well, he's not going to do that any more, he's in prison for the rest of his life'? Because of that, are we supposed to just forget about it and not worry about it?