Read From The Moment I Saw Him .... Online

Authors: Catherine MacDonald

From The Moment I Saw Him .... (10 page)

“I’ve seen it already,” he said; he sounded
relieved.

“No problem.  I’ll ask William to bring a friend
along for me then.”

I straightened my coat and reached for my bag.  He
put his arms round me again, and began to kiss my neck and collarbone in a very
sensual way, almost as if he wanted to take bites out of me, and it made me
gasp.

“Nick - please - it is a bit public here.”

A woman hurrying past gave us a disapproving stare,
and I freed myself from his arms.  I was disappointed that he would not come to
see the film with me, but he said,

“What time at the cinema, then?”

“Meet you outside at about seven fifteen.  It’s on
at the Regal, you don’t have to go very far.”

We stood looking at one another, while the cars
inched past and the evening air darkened around us.  There was a lot I would
have liked to ask him, but it didn’t seem the time or the place, nor did I
think I would know how to frame the questions.

“Well.  See you tomorrow then,” I said, at length.

“Okay.” 

He took my hand, and raised it to his lips in a
formal gesture.  For a minute I was back in the school hall surrounded by
sweaty teenagers.

“Sooner or later, you’ll admit that you want me
too,” he said quietly, then he turned and walked back towards the college
buildings.

 

I was glad that I had a lecture and a tutorial the following
day, because it stopped me thinking too much about the possibility of starting
over with Nick.  Jo had been sceptical when I told her about the projected
double date, but contented herself with advising me not to expect too much.

I dressed with some care in a new frock with big
buttons down the front, and made sure my hair was newly washed and bouncy. 
When Jo and I arrived at the cinema, Nick was already there, looking elegant in
a dark blue jacket, and a hint of stubble which suited him. He and William had
already introduced themselves, and were chatting like old friends.  I noted
that Nick had not lost his facility for charming all and sundry.

Nick kissed me on the cheek, and we went inside.  It
seemed very strange to be out on a date with him, and I half wished I was back
in my room in college.  Then he took my hand in his, and I was glad we were
there together, especially as the film was harrowing in places, and I felt
quite drained when we emerged, blinking, into the night.  William said to Nick,

“Shall we take the girls back?” and hailed a taxi,
so we were soon in St Margaret’s Road again.

“I’ll knock on Eithne’s door for you about 11.30,
Nick, and we can walk back together,” William said.

It was almost ten o’clock.  There had recently been
a revolution within college, in that men were allowed to visit until midnight. 
Previously, they had to leave the premises at ten.  A rebellion by the students
had forced through the change when, on one particular night, we had all kept a
male visitor in until 12, and the men all streamed out together.  It was
impossible for everyone to be disciplined, and so the dons of the Senior Common
Room, who governed St Hugh’s, had reluctantly given way.

I was taken aback by the prospect of entertaining
Nick for an hour or so.  I had assumed we might go for a drink in town before
going our separate ways, but William and Jo obviously wanted to spend some time
alone together. 

“I won’t mind if you have to get back now,” I murmured,
as we stood by the college front doors.

“No, I’d like a coffee,” Nick replied.

We walked hand in hand like a staid old couple
through the empty corridors.  People were watching television in the JCR, and
we passed the odd girl clutching books and papers on her way from the library,
but everything seemed very quiet.

I unlocked my door, and we went in.  Nick examined
the pictures and cards I had on the notice board above my desk, while I filled
the kettle.

“Girls’ rooms always have the most wonderful variety
of things on the walls,” he observed.

“Been in quite a few, then, Nick?”

“Well - one or two,” he said evasively, not
appearing to wish to pursue this topic.   “Who’s John?”

“A very dear friend from last summer.  He’s in
America now.”

I made coffee, and we sat in slightly awkward
silence for a few minutes, him on the bed, and me on the chair by my desk.  He
seemed to be far away, as if thinking hard.

“I’m sorry, Eithne. This isn’t going to work.”

He stood up and put his mug on the coffee table.

“I can’t behave with you as if you’re just some girl
I’m meeting for the first time, it’s impossible.  If you’re not able to
reciprocate my feelings, then we might as well go our separate ways.  It’s too
hard, otherwise.”

My eyes filled with tears.

“Too hard - that’s what you said in your garden, the
time I came to tea before A levels.  I knew you weren’t serious about this.”

“Not serious…. is that what you think?” 

He pulled me into his arms, and began to kiss me
with passion and urgency, and my body responded in a way which I could no
longer suppress.  I didn’t want to suppress it.  I thought of all the boys I
had met last year, whose physical proximity had left me unmoved.  Why should I
deny myself the one I really wanted?

The button front dress was swiftly unbuttoned, he
slid my bra straps down with a practised hand, and by the time his mouth sought
my breasts, I was as eager as he could want to reciprocate his feelings.  His
body was lean and beautiful, his skin smooth, and his touch a sensuous delight. 
Making love with him was every bit as wonderful as I remembered, and then some
more. 

Afterwards, we lay in a sort of dreamy daze.  The
bed was too small to be really comfortable, and after a while, he got up to
look for his cigarettes.

“Sorry, sweetheart - please say you don’t mind if I
have a ciggie.” 

I slipped on my dressing gown, feeling slightly shy
in front of him despite my earlier enthusiastic participation.  Now I went to
sit on his lap.  I wanted to kiss him in all the places I remembered so well,
his neck, his shoulder, and the clean lines of his jaw. I was gloriously happy.

He turned, and burrowed his face into my neck and
hair.

“Thank goodness - now we can get on with being us
again,” he murmured.  “Why on earth did you give me all this stuff about
keeping me at a distance?  You seemed pretty keen to get close just then.”

I kissed the top of his dark head.

“I never could resist you, that’s the problem.  But
Nick - I am serious about one thing.  I won’t let you walk all over me like you
did at Beresford.  The first hint of bad behaviour, and I’m off.  I haven’t
found it difficult to attract boys here, and I don’t intend to put up with
second best.”

I omitted to say that they had all seemed pretty
dull compared to him, with the exception of John, of course, and he wasn’t
available.  Nick looked taken aback, but I wanted to make sure he knew that I
wasn’t just falling into his arms without some thought about how our
relationship might progress.

He kissed me again. 

“I don’t want to walk all over you.  It’ll be
different this time.”

We sat entwined, savouring the delight of being
close and in harmony together after such a long time apart.  After a while,
Nick glanced at his watch.

“Fuck, it’s 11.15.  I’d better get my clothes on
before William comes.”

Very gently, he pushed me off his lap, and began to
dress.  I put my nightie on under my dressing gown, no point in pretending we’d
merely been making polite chit-chat.  When he put his jacket on, I snuggled
into his arms for a final kiss.

“Shall I book you into Hall at Balliol for dinner
with me tomorrow night?” Nick asked.  “Afterwards....... well, my bed’s much
bigger and more comfortable.  I think you should come and see for yourself just
how much better men’s colleges are.”

“Yes, I think I really should do that.”

Then William knocked on the door, and they went off
into the night together.

I was left to wonder what I would say to my friends
by way of explanation.  My resolution to keep Nick at arm’s length had only
lasted a few days.  But I felt so ecstatic, I couldn’t be sorry for that now.

Chapter 14

 

 

Despite my first misgivings, a very happy time began
for us.

We saw each other almost every day for a while - not
always for long periods, but enough to make us feel close.  I think we both
needed a certain reassurance from the other that this new phase of our
relationship was going to work.

I had to agree that the food and atmosphere were
indeed superior in a man’s college, and the beds a lot more accommodating.

He met my friends.  It didn’t take long for them to
succumb to the famous charm, which he still had by the bucket load, and they
were soon half in love with him themselves.

I met his friends.  I really liked doing this.  At
Beresford, he had been part of a tight coterie which only tolerated girlfriends
on the outside.  Here, we were drawn into proper friendships which helped to cement
our own relationship.

Word quickly got round the panto cast and crew that
we were an item, and I had to endure some sarky teasing, but rehearsals were
easier because Nick didn’t feel the need to hang round any more.  If Suzy was
disappointed, she concealed it well.  She had dozens of admirers in any case.

We enjoyed a lot of terrific sex.  It was wonderful
not to have to worry about parental discovery and retribution, but it took me a
while not to leap automatically out of bed and start dressing when we had
finished.  We had never been able to indulge in pillow talk before, and it was
very sweet to do so now.  The only thing we could not do was spend the night
with each other.  Being caught with an undergraduate of the opposite sex in
your room overnight meant instant dismissal from the university for both
parties, and it was too risky to contemplate.

“I’ll be living out next year, and then we can do as
we please,” Nick pointed out.  I did hope that we might still be together then,
but refused to speculate on the future.

Because of his links with
Cherwell
, Nick was
able to arrange some excellent publicity for the pantomime.  We had a costume
rehearsal before the official dress rehearsal, and someone took a great picture
of me, Suzy and Eleanor which got a splash on the front page.  I didn’t always
like myself in photos, but I looked really nice in this one.  In the play, I
wore a plain black mini dress with sheer tights and stiletto heels, and it did
look striking with my pale hair.  I was certainly aware that the boys all liked
the look.

After some deliberation, I wrote to my parents and
to Deidre to tell them I was seeing Nick again.  I don’t think any of them were
very pleased at this news, but there wasn’t a lot they could do about it. 
However, I did extract a promise from my mother that there would be no
recriminations for Nick if they met over the Christmas vacation.  We were both
due to spend Christmas at Beresford, so this was inevitable.  I hoped she would
understand how very happy I was.

The pantomime was scheduled for performance during
the last full week of term, on three consecutive nights.  I was very nervous
before the first time.  Nick came backstage to kiss me before my first scene,
explaining that this was to ensure I looked at my best, as requested by none
other than the director.

Although my voice seemed wobbly to begin with, I
gained confidence from the competent acting of Trevor and Suzy.  The pace
picked up, and we got some laughs, which made all the difference.  By the time
Adam had sung his little song to me, I could feel the audience were interested
and amused.  We got a round of applause, and although I knew it was more for
Adam’s singing than anything I had done, it felt amazing.

The cast were triumphant at the final curtain, everything
had gone so well.

“It’s a shame I can’t review it,” Nick said.  “But I
know the guy who will, so a bit of bribery may not go amiss.”

“”Does it need bribery?  I thought it was good?” I
replied.

“It was pretty good,” he allowed.  “But sometimes a little
nudge in the right direction helps.”

Apparently, the
Cherwell
reviewer was due to
attend the final performance.  Nick explained to me that it was important for
Ben to get a really positive write up, in order to boost his chances of
directing the Spring OUDS production, which was to be held in the Playhouse,
the University theatre.  I liked Ben, and hoped he would get what he wanted.

“I’ve asked Simon Williamson to the after show
party,” I heard Nick saying to Ben, referring to the undergraduate who would be
writing the review.  “Not that I think you’ll need any help, but he was pleased
to be asked.”

All too soon, it was the last night.  I felt both
sad and yet relieved - the show had involved a lot of work, and I was ready for
a rest.  However, it was a thrill to be presented with a small bouquet, along
with the leading actors, at our final curtain call.  The audience had been
noisily responsive, and I felt sure Ben would get the praise he deserved.

We held the after show party in the hall, once the chairs
had been stacked away.  There was a fair amount of booze, and the backstage
boys had rigged up an impromptu disco.  I decided I would stay in my demure
mini dress and high heeled shoes, as I knew I looked good in them.

It was a bit of a crush to begin with, and I
couldn’t find Nick anywhere.  I drank some wine, and chatted for a while with
Adam and some of the other actors.  It occurred to me that somewhere, there
would be drugs in circulation, and I did hope that Nick wouldn’t be indulging. 
He found it impossible to resist smoking dope, as it had been so prevalent at
St Peter’s, and he didn’t appear to be able to drop the habit.

The music started.  A voice said in my ear “May I
have the pleasure of this dance?” and I turned to see a tall, good-looking man
gazing at me in a very appreciative way.

I hesitated, then thought why not?  There was still
no sign of Nick, and he could hardly object anyhow.

A slow record was playing.  The man took my hand,
and we began to dance. 

“My name’s Simon - Simon Williamson,” he said,
looking down at me.  He had very blue eyes, and fair curly hair growing down
over his collar.  “And I know that you are the delightful Cara -” (my stage
name) “- or may I call you Eithne?”

“Please do,” I said.  So this was the guy from
Cherwell
.  
I wondered what I could do to help Ben’s cause.

“Did you enjoy the play?” I asked, smiling.

“Yes.  I thought there were some excellent scenes. 
It didn’t quite come together for me in the rock band part, but overall, it was
an entertaining evening.  Have you done much acting before?”

 He was gazing at me with a very intent look, and I
felt a twinge of disquiet.

“No not much.  I’m sure that was evident,” I said.

He laughed.

“Are you fishing for compliments?  Actually, you
have the makings of a nice little comedienne.  Your timing is good, and that’s
a talent worth having.”

“Oh, good,” I murmured.  He was holding me rather
closer than was warranted, and I began to think this might be a problem.

The music stopped.

“Another?” 

 Why had I never met attractive men like this when I
was unattached?

Ben was dancing with Eleanor, and he winked at me as
he passed us.  I gave a faint grimace in return.  I was fighting off rising
feelings of discomfort.

Simon Williamson continued to regard me with
pleasure.

“You have very beautiful hair, Eithne,” he murmured,
and he actually brushed a curl back from my face with his fingers.  “Perhaps
you would have dinner with me sometime?”

“Well - I’m flattered, Simon.  But I’m afraid I do
have a steady boyfriend,” I said in a vaguely reproving tone.

“What a pity.  But you must let me give you my
staircase number - I’m at Wadham - in case you ever want some different
company.”

He looked at me searchingly, and smiled.  From the
corner of my eye, I saw a dark haired figure join the fringes of the crowd, and
stand there, watching.  I prayed for the music to stop before Simon did
anything else.

Finally, it did.  I moved away, murmuring a thank
you, and Nick materialised at my shoulder.

 “Simon, good to see you,” he said loudly.  “I see
you’ve already met my girlfriend.”

 “Ah - you’re the lucky man.”

  Simon gave me a swift, somewhat calculating
glance.  “Well, if it had been anyone else, I’d have ravished her away, but
seeing as it’s you, I guess I’d better give her back.”

He kissed my hand.

“Thank you for dancing with me, Eithne.”

I nodded and smiled, as he moved away into the
crowd.  Nick took me into his arms in a possessive way as the music began
again.

“Wow - you’ve got a rival in the Mr Smooth stakes!”
I exclaimed.  Nick looked faintly put out.

“You certainly seemed to be lapping it up,” he observed.

“Well, I couldn’t really refuse to dance with him. 
Where were you, anyway?”

“Just sharing a joint with a few of the guys.”

He nibbled gently at my neck. 

“I wish there was somewhere we could go.....” he
muttered.

“We’re supposed to be here at the party, Nick.  It’s
too late to go back to Balliol now, anyway.”

“Mmmm.”

He kissed me.

“Promise me you’ll come down first thing tomorrow,
then,” he murmured.

We stayed entwined on the dance floor for a while,
then went to have a drink with the others.  The party was beginning to wind
down.  Everyone was tired after the efforts of the week.  I was just looking
for Janet, another St Hugh’s girl who had been involved in the production - we
had agreed to share a taxi back - when Ben appeared and claimed me for a final
dance.

“Thank you for trying to vamp Simon Williamson,” he
said.  “You were doing splendidly until Nick came along.  I hope I’ll still get
a good notice, despite Nick’s interference.”

I laughed.

“You don’t need any assistance from me, Ben.  I
really enjoyed doing the show, thanks for all your help.”

“It’s been a pleasure.”

 He smiled down at me.  “You really came on a lot,
you know, you worked hard to get things right, and I appreciate that.”

“Simon said I had good timing - that was nice,” I reflected.

“He’s right.  Do you think you’ll act again next
term?”

“Mmmm, not sure.  I’ve skimped my academic work
recently so I might concentrate on that for a while.  I like the summer plays
though, perhaps I’ll try for one of those.”

“I’ll let you know if I think you’re right for
anything I’m doing,” he said.

People were beginning to drift away.  I saw Simon
Williamson putting on his coat.  He was talking to Nick and gesticulating about
some topic which clearly interested them both.  Ben noticed me look across.

“You’re very good for Nick, you know.”

“Oh, dear - that sounds a bit boring,” I replied,
laughing.

“No, it’s not.  I mean he needs some kind of focus
to stop him racketing round.  You both seem very happy.  I hope things work out
for you this time, Eithne.”

The music stopped.  To my surprise, he kissed me
gently on the lips.

“Happy Christmas, Eithne,” he said, then walked
away.

I re-joined Nick by the drinks table.

“You’re really reeling them in tonight,” he
observed, but he smiled as he spoke, and I thought that these little reminders
that others might fancy me too were probably no bad thing.

Janet waved to me across the room, indicating that
the taxi was imminent.  I turned to say goodnight to my boyfriend.

“Are you going to be carrying on with the dope
smokers tonight?” I asked bluntly.  “If so, there’s no point in my coming down
too early tomorrow, you won’t have surfaced.”

“Well, perhaps not too early, then.  But it would be
nice if you were there to wake me up,” he said with a grin.

“I’ll come about midday, and we can go out for
lunch.”

He held me tightly.

“I feel somehow it’ll be a late lunch.  ‘Night,
then, my little superstar.”

As we walked to the taxi, I felt that I was floating
on air.  Life couldn’t get much better than it was.

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