Free as a Bird (12 page)

It was my job to push the grocery cart. Up an down we went puttin lotsa food into the cart — milk an cheese, eggs, bagga flour, cereal, frozen juice, frozen peas. An boy oh boy — there was the potato chips an ginger snaps an so many kindsa crackers. Finally, we'd go to the bakery department — the best part of shoppin. While Pops went to find bread on sale I got to look inside the glass case at all the tarts an squares an cinnamon buns. Lookin at them goodies always made my mouth get all slurpy.

There was one thing I dint like bout shoppin — nope, dint like it when people stared at me. Can't say why I was so interestin to em.

“Never mind them, Ruby Jean,” Pops told me. “You'd think by the look on their faces you were from Mars.”

I wondered where Mars was. Maybe one day I was gunna go there an find out if I really did look like them people that come from there.

One time when Pops an me was in the bakery department I stood nex to two boys who was pickin out a big cake. We was all there lookin at the good stuff to eat. Then one boy started whisperin to his friend — cept he weren't too quiet cause I heard what he said.

“Gawd, take a look at that — it's a retard. Man, they give me the creeps.”

My face got all hot an my heart hurt too — yup, felt just like heartburn. I tried to think why some people dint like me. All I could say was maybe if I was more smart I wouldn't like me neither. Then I membered that silly boy on the fence — the one who called us kids flat-faced cauliflower ears — the one Jimmy T wanted to get.

I walked away from them boys an followed Pops to get fresh bread.

“Try not to feel bad, Ruby Jean,” Pops said. “Some people just don't know how to accept others who are different.”

Pops went round the bakery getting all kindsa bread — brown bread, white bread, raison bread, an even some nut bread. When those two boys walked passed with their cake — an boy oh boy, that cake looked licious with all that chocolate icin an red flowers on top — Pops stopped em.

“Hi there, fellas,” Pops said to the boys real friendly. “I'm Pops Williams and this here is my friend, Ruby Jean.” The boy in the green shirt went splochy red like Dr. Lennox. “I overheard you back there, and I just thought I'd take the opportunity to tell you a little something about my friend here.” Then Pops told em boys all bout me — how I liked to listen to country music, an how he'd never knowed anyone who put a puzzle together fasser than me, an how I was learnin how to do hook rugs with Nan, an how my favourite thing to eat was toast an tea. “I just thought I'd tell you all that because folks usually aren't so afraid of someone once they get to know them.”

“I ain't afraid, old man,” said the boy. “Retards give me the creeps — didn't say they scared me. Anyway, you should mind your own business. Didn't your momma teach you that listening to other people's conversations wasn't polite?”

Pops laughed. “You got a point there, son. Thanks for the lesson on etiquette. Ruby Jean and I are just trying to do our best to fit in, be good, and live a happy life.”

The boy said, “Whatever.”

Then he walked away. I dint think he liked me any bedder after what Pops said. But jus when those boys turned the corner, the other one looked back an waved. “Bye, Ruby Jean.”

One mornin Pops said, “Today's the day you start working at Four Leaf Shelter Workshop, Ruby Jean.”

“You can help me make your lunch,” Nan said.

I got confused on account of I dint have my breakfast yet. After we finished makin sandwiches I sat down to eat em.

“Not yet, dear. This is for later.” Nan put the sandwiches in a brown paper bag. I sure was glad when she asked, “Okay, now what would you like to eat for breakfast?”

A liddle later Mrs. Gentry came an got me. When I was gettin in her car Nan called out, “Now don't eat your lunch until it's time, Ruby Jean. It's a long day and I wouldn't want you to get hungry.”

It was too late — I was already hungry jus thinkin bout the cheese an cucumber sandwich, oatmeal cookies, Granny Smith apple, an tin of orange juice sittin on my lap.

When me an Mrs. Gentry was driven to Four Leaf, she told me bout the place. “I guess you could say it's like a training centre for people like yourself, Ruby Jean — people with disabilities. But after training at Four Leaf, many of the clients go on to jobs in the community and earn a good living. Some work in factories, restaurants, grocery stores — lots of places.” Mrs. Gentry talked bout the job I was gunna do. Then she said, “And you're going to earn a little pocket money too, Ruby Jean. You'll have to start thinking about what you'd like to do with it. Maybe you'll want to save it — that means opening a bank account.”

I dint knowed bout bank accounts an I couldn't think what I would buy with money — cept maybe get me nother pink hairband. Maybe I could give some of that money to Susan an Norval.

There was lotsa people like me at Four Leaf. They all said hi to me — some patted my shoulder an hugged me like they'd knowed me for a long time. Supervisor Audrey was a nice lady an told a boy named Ronald to show me my new job — makin flower boxes. I was secretly glad I already knowed how to make em — Pops showed me.

“Ooookay, Rrrrruby Jean, I'm … I'm gunna show … gunna show you how to make a flower box. Ooookay?” Ronald stuttered.

I watched him carefully. He gotta small cardboard box an walked passed the table an picked up four pieces of wood — two long pieces an two ends an a bottom — then put em in the box. Then he picked up two meddal strips an some tiny nails an put em in the box too. After that he took out a liddle hammer and started puttin all em pieces together — almost same like Pops showed me.

“Ooookay, Rrrrruby Jean, it's … it's yourrrr turn.”

I did everythin jus as Ronald showed me — it was easy.

“How ddddo you like that ffffor apples? That's ppppretty gggoood, Rrrruby Jean. You … you surrrre are a smart girl.”

I liked Ronald, but he dint knowed me so good — nope, he dint know I'm not smart a'tall.

I made lots of flower boxes that mornin. Then a bell rang an everyone stopped what they was doin an left their work stations.

“Cccome on, Rrrrruby Jean — it's lllunchtime,” Ronald said, then smiled.

I membered the food I brought in the brown bag an was glad Nan dint let me eat it.

I liked workin at Four Leaf — liked it a lot. I made new friends an they liked me jus the way I was. Mrs. Gentry came back later an drove me home. “So did you have a good day, Ruby Jean?” I smiled as big as I could. “That's good. Would you like to go there tomorrow too?” I clapped my hands cause I really wanted to go there again.

When we got home there was a blue car in the driveway. I found out it belonged to Greg — that's Nan's and Pops's boy. When I came in the house, he shook my hand until it nearly fell off. “It's nice to finally meet you, Ruby Jean. Mom and Dad have told me lots of good things about you. Are you getting used to the place?”

I dint answer him, but I smiled as big as I could.

“I can see how you'd be happy living here with Mom. But Dad — well, he's just a crazy old man. You'd better watch out for him.” Then Greg did somethin bad to Pops — he hit him in the arm. But Pops jus smiled.

I dint think Pops was crazy an I sure dint like somebody hittin him — even if was his own son. I felt like a pot of Nan's bubblin hot soup bout to boil over the top. I decided I dint like Greg — nope, not a'tall.

It'd been a long time since I'd such a bad feelin — a feelin of bein angry enough to hit an scratch. I started twistin an poundin my fists like one of those TV wrestlers. That's when everybody stopped talkin an looked at me.

“Ruby Jean, what's the matter, dear?” asked Nan. “What's upset you? Something's upset Ruby Jean. I've never seen her look so angry.”

Then with em all jus lookin at me it happened. “Nooooo hittttin Pops.” The words came oudda me slow like a guard dog growl. Everybody looked awful surprised. Then I said it again louder, “Nooooo hittttin Pops.”

Pops laughed a liddle an said, “Oh, Ruby Jean, Greg and I are best friends. He was just teasing me. When we do that it's just playing.”

Playin? I dint understand that kinda play. In Woodlands the only time people hit each other was when they was mad or bein mean.

“Wait a minute here — Ruby Jean's just done something quite amazing,” said Mrs. Gentry. She looked me in the eye. “Ruby Jean — you spoke. We know what you're feeling because you told us — that's wonderful, dear.”

I dunno what was so wonderful bout me feelin like a angry bull bout to knock Greg over. But priddy soon they was all laughin an dancin round the kitchen. Pops an Mrs. Gentry were talkin citedly, and Nan was singin, “No hitting Pops. No hitting Pops. Ruby Jean says, ‘No hitting Pops.'” I dint think Greg was so happy cause I was still lookin at him oudda my squinty eyes.

After that day, whenever Greg came over to our house, he'd say, “I know, I know — no hitting Pops.” I dint get mad no more when he an Pops played their hittin game … but I still thought hittin was a awful way to play.

Nother thing bout all that was Nan an Pops always tryin to get me to talk. “I can't decide what to have for supper, Ruby Jean. What should we eat?” Nan'd ask. If I dint say she would wait an wait an wait — till my tummy growled.

An Pops would say somethin like, “We're running out of milk. I wonder what we should do about it?” If I dint tell him we had to get more milk I dint get my tea. Fore long I was talkin every day. Always sounded funny hearin em words comin oudda my own mouth though. Seemed like they was really comin from somebody else.

I sure had a lotta happy days livin with Nan an Pops — yup, awful happy days. Then one afternoon I came home from Four Leaf an everythin was changed. I could tell the minute I came in the house — a feelin … not a good one. Greg was there with his arm round Nan. I saw her eyes was like puffy cherries. She tried smilin at me, but it wasn't a real smile — nope, not a real smile a'tall. I wondered why Pops wasn't round.

She wiped her nose. “Here's our Ruby Jean. Dear, there's something we need to tell you — something about Pops.”

Suddenly, I felt like somebody was pressin down on me an I couldn't hardly breath. I dint even knowed what she was gunna say, but my neck got all stiff an my stomach got jittery.

“Pops isn't here, Ruby Jean.”

I looked at her shiny nose an red cheeks an the box of tissue in her hand. “Pops gone away in a amblance?” I asked her.

“Yes, Ruby Jean. They took him away in an ambulance.”

After she said that I ran to my room. Nan came an knocked on my door.

“Ruby Jean, honey, we need to talk.”

I dint want to talk. “No, Nan!” I cried. “No more talkin.” Jus like Gramma, the amblance took my Pops to heaven. Nan tried to get me to come out an eat supper with her an Greg, but I was too sad. I dint want to eat an dint want to talk neither.

Liddle while later I heard Nan go out an she dint come home for a long time. When she did I listened at my door to her an Greg talkin in the livin room.

“It's best if you don't have Ruby Jean to worry about right now,” Greg said. “I'll call Mrs. Gentry in the morning so she can make the arrangements.”