Femme Fatale Loved (Pericolo #3) (9 page)

But right now, she’s an outsider, and that’s what makes this so damn difficult. It’s that thought that makes me falter and wonder if this will be as easy as I wanted it to be. But I won’t know until I try, so it’s time to get ready and start this.

It all begins with step one of what I’m doing here –
invade Alessandra Massi’s life
.

***

I don’t take my time to get back onto the streets of Santa Barbara. I’ve changed into a wrap dress, feeling like I’ve been cast back to one of my father’s minions, but my confidence exudes from the idea of what I could come from this moment of my life. The moment I was dressed, I fled my room, a sudden burst of confidence ignited in me.

Now that I’m out, I’m more enthusiastic to find her. I graze over the piece of paper, looking from the numbers on the white sheet to the numbers on the storefronts. I know Alessa’s shop is along here, so it’s just finding it.

When I find it, I remove my sunglasses to place upon my head and gaze up at the sign above the door and feel my heart rush. I didn’t have a shop name, just an address, but now that I’ve found it, I know this is her boutique.

‘
INFINITO’

Her shop means infinity in Italian, simple and effective, or well, it is if you know the past she’s running from. It’s something Enzo would say to her over and over again –
“There are infinite ways I could love you, Alessandra Massi, but not an infinite amount of times to show you. Infinito.”
It was their saying, the thing that made me want to gag – until I found my own forever love.

I walk in behind two other women, looking like I’m part of a small crowd, all the while shoving the piece of paper back into my bag. As the two women explore the store, I join them, going over to the far wall where a display of gorgeous necklaces hangs. A sense of pride overwhelms me as I gaze around the store. Alessa made her dream come true with this place, filling it with the finest pieces of jewelry. These are pieces made to empower women, allow them to feel sensual, to feel like a queen whenever they adore themselves with them.

“Can I help you?” Alessa’s voice breaks the silence in the boutique.

“Well, I was hoping so,” I reply sweetly, turning on my spot, taking the sunglasses from on top of my head as I come to face her. I then add my final hit - “Alice.”

“Amelia,” Alessa manages to utter as all blood disappears from her face. She just gawps at me, unable to form words as her jaw turns slack and her eyes watch me intently.

“You don’t look too happy to see me,” I try to tease, giving her a small smile.

“You can’t be here,” she says, grabbing me by my elbow, pulling me to the side of the shop, and ushering me through the door to the back room. “What are you doing here?”

“I’m here for you,” I say, crossing my arms. “No other reason for me to come all the way to California.”

“But why?” she asks, exacting my position and positioning herself in front of the doorway. “What possible reason could you have for being in California?”

“Enzo,” I say, cutting all attitude and offering her the lost girl I am when it comes to my brother.

It seems to be enough for her to understand and she leaves to return to the store floor. I follow to watch her approach an exuberant redhead. Her smile drops, though. When she sees Alessa’s new fallen expression, it seems she takes note that this is a serious situation.

“Liv, I’m leaving you in charge.” Alessa addresses the redhead. “I’m going home early.”

Alessa hands over her keys, approaches me enough to grab her own bag and latches onto my bicep, tearing me from the shop. She doesn’t release me when we make it out onto the sidewalk; instead, she walks with me, dragging me behind her. I don’t complain because all the while she’s doing this, I’m with her. When we are far enough down the sidewalk, she finally releases me.

“What are you doing here? You said Enzo, but he’s not been a part of my life for years. So what is it?”

I see she’s going to be cagey, and she’s not going to be easy to get on my side, so I make sure I’m honest because, in reality, I have missed having Alessa in my life. She was like my sister for all intents and purposes, much like Allana is, but Alessa was always there when times got hard in the house.

“I wanted to see how you were,” I say, offering a shrug.

“Bullshit,” she admonishes, narrowing her gaze. “You never could lie to me, Amelia, so don’t you dare start fresh today. I know that’s not the real reason. It might be one of many, but it’s not the sole reason.”

“As I said,” I begin, sighing, “I’m here with business to do with Enzo. I’m here for
you and
Enzo.”

Now, I see her face flush once more, but this time, she looks grief-stricken.

“Amelia, not this again. I can’t do that,” she tells me, stepping back and placing distance between us. “I have finally found a place that doesn’t scream Enzo, and I am at peace with not having him in my life.”

“Bullshit,” I reply, catching her bluff. I look at her incredulously and laugh mirthlessly. “You tell me you can tell when I’m lying; well, I can you, too. So cut the bullshit, ‘Lessa, and just hear me out.”

There’s a moment of deliberation. I can see she’s annoyed at my sudden reappearance to reap all sorts of demons on her, but I can see she wants to know, she wants to learn more. She’s still a captive of true love, and she knows she can’t deny it.

“Fine,” she replies, not catching my eye contact, and looks down the boulevard. “We’re going to a bar for this,” she warns, finally gracing me with a look. “I need alcohol if you’re about to bring this on me.”

“You can’t make yourself forget,” I admonish, placing my hands on my hips. “Alcohol doesn’t help matters like this.”

“No, but it helps to numb the moment,” she says and tears off in the direction of a bar to our left.

As I follow, I wonder what can of worms I’ve decided to open. This new Alessa terrifies me. The one from years ago was fun, playful, loving …
forgiving
. This Alessa is harsh, unwilling, and shut off. She’s a victim of love, changed and morphed by its potency. She’s what I could’ve become. She’s what I want to save – much like Enzo, they need one another. They need their second chances.

We slow enough for Alessa to turn into a bar, and I look quickly at the name scrawled across the front –
Mia Regina
. A chill runs down my spine, and a wave of familiarity rushes over me. I’m not sure why, but I feel like this is an omen, a sense of what’s to come, but I shake it off. I have to keep my head on straight because I have to make Alessa see sense.

I scurry inside; the space is shadowed by the slightly tinted windows, keeping most of the sun’s rays from filling the space. People are already sitting around enjoying a light lunch and a few drinks, but Alessa ignores them to make a beeline for the bar. I hear her order two scotch on the rocks, and from her composure, I wonder if they’re both for her. She barely looks at me, let alone speaks to me as she waits for the drinks, pays, and leaves me standing at the bar to head to a booth in the far back corner – where no one is sitting.

Now, my nerves are getting to me, and once seated, Alessa looks at me and grins, clearly taking notice of my demeanor.

“Not like you to be nervous,” she remarks coldly.

“Not like you to be such a bitch,” I retort, taking my side of the booth opposite her.

There’s a tense moment, but then we both begin to grin at one another, giggling as if transported back to a time when she still lived with us; when we had girl time and talked until the sun came up the following morning.

“Look,” Alessa begins, sitting forward enough to wrap her hands around her glass, “I don’t mean to be brazen and cold with you, Lia, it’s just it’s what I know now. It’s who I’ve become while being here.”

“You live, eat, and breathe being a businesswoman,” I comment, making sure she notices I had noted.

She nods at me, pulling her drink closer to her.

“You seem happier, though,” she comments, taking a sip of her drink before placing it down to turn it in her palms.

“I am,” I reply, quietening my voice. “But that’s what I’m here to discuss.” I watch as she squares her shoulders, her muscle tense, and her hands tighten around her tumbler. “I know it’s hard for you, Alessa, I do, but you’re my last hope.”

“I don’t know what I can do for you.”

“You do,” I reply, my voice stern and sharp.

Her eyes widen on my response; she shakes her head, and I notice her eyes glimmer with tears as they sprinkle their way across her lashes. She’s about to enter denial, force me to try to give up, but I won’t turn my back on this feat.

“He’s as lost as you are,” I comment, trying to win her over.

“He decided this path!” she sneers, her voice heightening. “This life I live is all because of him, Lia. He broke up with me when we were still so in love with one another! So I don’t know what I can possibly do for him!”

“Everything,” I reply, my tone wistful and calm. “Absolutely everything.” I feel my eyes water. I wish I weren’t so invested in this situation, but I am. I have to make sure she understands how much Enzo’s newfound torture is affecting all of us, but I won’t lay that on her yet that he came to find her. I won’t ask about her engagement. I just need her. Not to get her with Enzo romantically, but to be his saving grace. “He’s so lost right now, ‘Lessa. I don’t know what to do anymore. He’s lost, and I can’t save him. Only you can. I know what he did killed a part of you, and I understand how it feels, but sometimes, we lose our way and can’t find our way back alone.”

“Amelia,” she starts, but I shake my head to make her pause.

I pause, breathing heavily and decide to brace myself for this. “What do you say, Alessa ... will you come back with me to help him?”

As her silence hits, I find the pounding of my heart pulsates in my ears, the throb of my pulse notable in my throat. I feel like I’m on tenterhooks, and the longer she stares at me without any verbal response, the more my hope dwindles.

Then I realize her silence can only mean that I’m too late, and all my hope entirely dissolves. It wasn’t planned, nor did I want to, but I burst into tears.

In reality, I’m terrified the only salvation Enzo needs is one who’s moved past waiting for their moment to play hero.

We never got further than that point yesterday.

After I had caved to everything I was feeling, Alessa remarked that we should go our separate ways, get an early night, and start anew today. I agreed, heading back to the hotel only to call Zane and find he was out on a job. It felt like just my luck, so I texted him and said I was exhausted; I can worry him with my issues today when I catch him.

I look back at the text and look back up. She told me to meet her at a beachfront bar for breakfast, but I’m so new to this part of town, I’m worried I’m in the wrong place. As I get closer, I start to make out the letters of the sign and know I’m in the right place. I have to admit, the journey here has me so exhausted that I’m begging for this to be the right restaurant.

“Amelia!” Alessa yells out, standing up from her place in the restaurant. She even waves to make me see her more, and I grin, before approaching. “What took you so long?”

“I walked,” I murmur, giving her a hug.

“From Hotel Milo?!” she gasps, letting me go.

“I was told it was a ten-minute walk,” I admit, sitting down exhaustedly. “So I could do with a mimosa and something good to eat.”

“Well, you came to the right spot,” she comments, calling for a waiter. She orders us drinks and a fruit salad and tells him we’ll be ready to order when he comes back. “It’s going to be a long day, so we might as well start it right, hey, Tesoro?”

“Yes,” I groan happily over the thought. She grins wildly, and I watch her carefully. “You seem more like the old Alessa today.”

“I don’t have to hold up the mask with you around.” She gives me a wink and settles down. “I know I was awful yesterday, but you caught me off guard then were hell-bent on dragging me back a few years.”

“I’m still hell-bent on that,” I muse, hoping not to rub her the wrong way.

“I’m ready for it,” she replies, a small smile tugs at the corners of her lips. “Now, what’s going on with you, Amelia? What’s going on with the entire Abbiati clan?”

I mull over the multiple avenues I could drive this conversation. I could go down the Enzo route and keep my focus on that, or I could divert the whole thing and give her the entire story. No cut corners, no misleading information, just the God’s honest truth.

“We’re not the same as we were,” I comment, my gaze dropping. “We’re finally out from under our father, but we’re all struggling with what we have now. We’re not used to it, and without Manuel around, it’s a constant reminder of what we lost.”

“What happened with Giovanni?” she asks, her tone softer than before.

“He ran off to the Amalfi Coast.”

“Cowardly bastardo,” she mutters, pushing her fruit around her plate. “He always did have issues with confronting his actions. He could always do the deed and beautifully turn a blind eye. Why am I surprised he’s not faced up to this one?”

“I don’t think he ever will,” I remark, my throat tightening as we delve into this matter. “He got what he wanted and ran. We were spiraling long before he did that, but we’re now trying to rebuild bit by bit.”

“And Zane?” she asks, cocking a brow at me.

“Trying to get a pretty little rock on my finger,” I comment, a smile masking my face.

She cocks a brow at me. “
Trying
?”

“I’m being stubborn,” I comment, muttering the words. “I keep saying no.”

“Amelia,” she groans, rolling her eyes. “What is wrong with you?”

I lower my gaze and feel ashamed of myself. Every girl dreams of this, but here I am squandering my chances. “I’m scared it’ll change everything.”

“Of course, it will! That’s the point!” she exclaims, and while she laughs, I can tell it stings to face up to the fact I’m postponing my own engagement when hers with Enzo was cut short. “So you have this man who has fought for you, your soul mate, your better half, and you keep shutting him down ...”

“I’m waiting for the right moment,” I say, trying to find a good enough reason.

“The right moment doesn’t exist. It’s a myth, Amelia.” She then chortles in disbelief. “I can’t believe you’re still running scared of that man.”

“I’m not running scared of Zane. I live with him!” I reply, exclaiming the fact. “How can I run scared of that?”

“It’s full-blown commitment when you say yes,” she replies, using her fork to point at me. “You have Zane where you want him, but it’s not total commitment. You know how you’ve ended up because of him, so you’re scared to get any deeper to find out he can still leave you high and dry.”

“That’s not it,” I say, squashing her theory in one.

“Then what is it?”

I feel like the world around us drops away. Even as our food and drinks arrive, the world just doesn’t seem to exist around us. It’s just Alessa and me at this moment. She’s the first person I’ve discussed this with since finding out. The boys all found out after Zane and I had that blow-up about me not being enough for him, and consequently, Allana found out, and it spiraled. Alessa is the first person I’ve had the chance to confide in about it since then.

“Erm,” I begin, struggling to find my starting point. “What Giovanni did to me wasn’t just temporary. The injuries he inflicted will make it near impossible for me to conceive ... I’m worried that Zane will marry me and want a family, and he’ll eventually resent his choice of picking me because I can’t give him everything. He’s given me the run up to it, why wouldn’t he want the two point five children, too?”

Because I want that, too
, my mind bellows in anguish. I want it all. I greedily want to give Zane every sort of happiness possible. I want to feel his child in me, I want to see his face when they’re born, and I want to watch them grow in the most loving family I have known. I know there is adoption and surrogacy, they’ve always been options, but I want to live every moment of making a family. I can’t do that with someone else carrying our child.

“Have you been told it’s an impossibility?” Alessa asks, leaning in slightly to offer us a little more privacy. I nod, and she scowls. “When?”

“When I woke up in the hospital,” I state and take a deep inhale as if to help build courage and fight the tears. “The doctor told me quite categorically that the damage in my lower abdomen was detrimental, and even if I were to conceive, I’d be high risk and probably wouldn’t carry to full term.” I offer her a sad smile, trying to tie my bravado together. “He’s gone, but he’s still casting a shadow over us. He’s going to destroy our happiness for years to come.”

“If you let him,” Alessa remarks, tilting her head to the side as if to tell me she’s right on this matter. “I know that brother of yours, and he likes all the attention on him. If he doesn’t get it, he acts up. Mark my words, Lia, he will be back when people quit paying him a damn bit of attention. He’ll hate that he’s wasted it all away. You no longer live with that coglione you call a father, you’ve moved out and moved on by the sounds of it. And you’ve done the one thing Giovanni thought you’d never do without him or Salvatore ... survive.” She then smirks, giving me the once-over. “From what I see, you’re doing it quite well at that.”

“We are,” I agree, smiling at the thought of the life back home. “Well, most of us.”

“How is he doing?” she asks, and I know she means Enzo. “What has him unable to move on anymore?”

“Anymore?” I scoff, laughing at her. “He never moved on. He bore that cross every day because he felt he deserved it. What he did to you will be a scar he’ll bear for everyone to see.” I watch her, unable to understand how she can even begin to think breaking her heart ended there. “He broke his heart the moment he broke yours.”

“But he decided that,” Alessa retorts coldly, her eyes narrow upon me.

“To save you,” I snap back, narrowing my gaze. “He knows more than most what our life does to those we love. We saw it happen with our mother, so when he knew how he felt for you and our father closed ranks, he knew he had to eliminate the threat on you. In doing that, he had to break your heart.”

“Why? I don’t understand that.”

“To make sure you didn’t come back,” I comment and watch the icy cold realization fall upon her. “If he gave you an inkling of hope, he knew you’d come home. One shred of hope meant you wouldn’t move on, so he did the worst he could.”

“Well, it worked,” she sneers, picking at her food as if to distract herself. “He left a mark I can’t wash off.”

“Like you left on him,” I answer, retorting to her comment, and she looks up at me. “I have watched him live every day plastering a smile on his face, trying to hide behind the loyal brother act, but I saw right through it every time. My brother destroyed his life to save you from any possibility of harm and to look over Manuel and me.”

“I would’ve stuck by him,” she answers fiercely.

“I know you would, and so did he.” I try to offer an understanding smile, but it’s hard to put myself in the shoes of a man who carries guilt around with his every step. “The problem is he buried that grief and guilt and then when Giovanni attacked us and killed Manuel, it all came out. He lost his way when he woke up to find out Manuel was gone, and I was in a coma. He fought to come back when I begged him, but while we all settled down, it became apparent that he was never going to be happy. He lost his chance, and he never searched for another.”

“Why not?” she asks, furrowing her brow. I can see she’s skeptical to any and all responses that form in her head as a reaction. “Any girl would be lucky to have him.”

“He had his chance with his dream girl, and he broke her.” I purse my lips, making sure she realizes I’m talking about her. “He can’t find another.”

“I’ve been here waiting,” Alessa says, a slight groan to her voice as she realizes how messed up life has become. “I always waited.”

I know finding out the truth of her relationship status is looming, and I wonder if this is going to turn catastrophic. While she’s distracted sipping her mimosa, I decide to strike.

“He actually came and found you.” I drop the bombshell, and as I had predicted, she nearly spits her drink out. “He flew out here a few months back. He found out where you were and came to you.”

“I didn’t know,” Alessa replies, stricken by my claim.

“You wouldn’t have because he fled the same day and came home,” I retort, finding myself getting nervous about broaching this. This is the do-or-die moment. This is the end game, the result, the punch line. “He saw you in a jeweler’s putting a ring on then hugging a man.”

“And he assumed I was with said man?” Alessa asks, her face darkening with thunderous thoughts. “Why are men such bastardos?” she asks, shaking her head in dismay, and I can see this hasn’t settled fully. “I cannot believe he’d come here, assume such a thing, and not approach me.”

“He was pretty convinced,” I say, shrugging. “He won’t hear of anything to do with you now that he knows you’re engaged. I tried, and he shut me down. He’s more broken for knowing you managed to fall in love again.”

Alessa laughs out loud, throwing her head back. “I am nowhere near engaged, not even remotely close to it! The last time I was, was to that bastardo himself!”

“Oh.” I feel the blood drain from my face.

“Let’s get one thing clear here,” she leers at me, pointing a finger at me. “I am not in love with anyone else but your brother, and that is how it’s going to stay for a long time. It might sound crazy, but no man has lived up to Enzo. No man ever will. Simple.” She heaves a sigh, releasing a huge amount of anger. “I have fought hard to move on, to date others, but I know there is more for Enzo and me, and I cannot give up on that. It might not be right now, but in the future, we’re together. Now, though, I’m not so sure if he’s given himself the most ridiculous fucking idea ever!”

She sets her elbows onto the table, her hands coursing up into the brunette curls.

“Bastardo maledetto,” she cusses, clearly calling Enzo a fucking bastard. “Cazzo!” she swears, thankfully saying fuck loudly in Italian so not many people notice. “Your brother can be a stupid stronzo some days.”

I laugh, nodding my head that sometimes Enzo can be an asshole. She’s not wrong there, but I also understand he isn’t perfect. He’s broken enough to be relatable but strong enough to make the right decisions for the most part.

“He ruined our potential reunion because he jumped the gun and assumed,” she growls, and I watch her face redden. “We’re going,” she remarks throwing out forty dollars and standing up.

“But we’re not finished eating,” I say, pointing to our half-eaten food.

“I don’t care; we’ll get food later. I need you to understand what he saw.”

She rushes out onto the boardwalk, and I feel like I’m following a scorched trail as I trace her every step in a bid to keep up. I’m astonished how fast she’s able to run in her Louboutins because right now, I’m struggling to catch up in sandals – not a defeat I, Amelia Abbiati, would have ever thought I would have to admit! I have no idea where we’re going, and if I have to admit, I can feel a lump forming in my throat.

“Alessa!” I growl at her as she continues to stalk off. “For Christ’s sake, will you slow down?! I feel like I’ve done a hundred mile hike to find you, and now, you have me running after you. This isn’t a triathlon; it’s a fucking intervention!”