Fallen Down Under (Down Under #2)

 

 

Copyright 2014 S.M Phillips. All rights reserved. Without limiting the rights under copyright reserved above, no part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in or introduced into a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form, or by any means such as electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise without the prior written permission of the author of this book. This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, brands, media, and incidents are either the product of the author's imagination or are used fictitiously. The author acknowledges the trademarked status and trademark owners of various products referenced in this work of fiction, which have been used without permission. The publication/use of these trademarks is not authorised, associated with, or sponsored by the trademark owners.

 

 

 

 

FALLEN DOWN UNDER

~ Book Two ~

 

S.M PHILLIPS

~ PLAYLIST ~

 

Passenger – Let her go

Coldplay – Fix you

Boyce Avenue – Find me

Paloma Faith – Only love can hurt like this

Sam Smith – Lay me down

Ella Henderson – Beautifully Unfinished

Goo Goo Dolls – Iris

Paloma Faith – Picking up the pieces

Christina Aguilera – Say something

 

To my boys,

Words cannot describe how happy you both make me

 

PROLOGUE

 

"What the fuck was that?" I say as soon as the lift doors close before me. "Are you out of your god damn fucking mind? Shit Stella." I wipe of the taste of Stella away from my lips with the back of my hand as the image of Jess stood before tears me up inside. Just knowing that she has witnessed Stella kiss me makes me see red. Especially after I have just experienced the pain that was written all over her face.

"I thought it was what you wanted. I'm sorry." At least she has the decency to look like she means it. Does she know that Jess saw? Of course she fucking does. Fuck!

I came to the office to catch a break, to make sure Jess was okay without actually having to see her. Then Stella arrived and it all went to fucking shit. What am I still doing sat here? I should be running after her, trying to make her understand that what she actually saw wasn't what it looked like. Who am I kidding, like she's going to believe that line.

 

"Why would she believe me?" I laugh to myself. The last guy she was with lied to her and look how that panned out. Maybe it's for the best. At least this way she can hate me and I can try and rest easy knowing that the reason she hates me wasn't done intentionally.

"How could you think that's what I wanted? Fuck, I'm sorry if you feel that way, really I am." Have I made her feel like I want to be involved with her? I made my feelings around Jess pretty clear, so why would she think I was coming on to her? This is getting pretty fucked up. Me and Stella have been friends for years, that's all we have ever been and I never expected her to want more.

"Maybe I should go, unless you want me to stay?"

"Nah, I think enough damage has been done for one day, don't you?"

"I can't imagine what Jess must be thinking."

"Don't Stella." I snap as my fist connects to my desk. I feel nothing but a pure heated rage take over my body as I think of all the scenarios that must be flying around that beautiful little head of hers.

"I can go after her, maybe explain what actually happened?"

"Again, are you fucking crazy? She's just walked in and seen us together and you want to go and talk to her?" Stella must have a death wish. I may not have known Jess for very long but what I do know is that she doesn't take any prisoners. "I'll sort it. How about we forget this ever happened? Maybe it's best you leave for the day, hey?"

"You sure? I don't think you should be left on your own right now." I watch as she eyes me filling my tumbler with some whiskey, but to be brutally honest, at this moment in time I couldn't give a fucking toss what she thinks or anyone else for that matter.

 

MAX

 

"No, please Max. Please make them stop, I don't want to go. Don’t let them take me Max. You promised you would never leave me." The sound of her voice breaks my heart. Knowing that there is nothing I can do to stop it from happening breaks me, kills me a little more on the inside. Another knife to the heart in case we haven’t suffered enough. The only decent thing I have left in my life is about to me ripped from within my reach and there's not a fucking thing I can do about it. I try to shout, to let her know I can hear her, but no sound comes out. All I can see is her tear stained face as the car drives away from me.

 

I suddenly jolt awake, my emotions are on edge and my body is covered in a sheen of cold sweat. The last image in my mind still hovers at the surface. Big brown sad eyes filled with tears as she is taken away from me. Running my hands through my hair I try to collect myself. "It was just a dream Max." I repeat over and over to myself. I haven't had a dream like that for years. Maybe I should cut back on the whiskey if it's triggering old wounds. The last thing I need now is trying to cope with that crazy shit going around and around in my head constantly. I slowly lift myself out of bed, nausea coming and going in waves with each breath that I take. Seriously, it was just a dream. I thought I was over all of that pussy arse shit, obviously not.

The house feels quiet and if I'm being honest, it no longer feels like home without Jess' presence. She doesn't deserve to be treated the way I've treated her. I know I've been a complete bastard, but it's for her own good. She's better off without me in her life; I just need to make sure that she's okay. No matter how I do it, I’ll make sure that I find a way.

 

"So you finally decided to wake up old man?" I say as I walk through the open door in front of me.

"Max!" Daisy shouts as she jumps up from her chair and dives into my arms. As I look at her I can see relief swimming in her eyes. It's so fucking good to see Mal awake. Sure he'll have to take it easy for a while but he's here and he's alive, that's what matters.

"I'm beginning to wish I hadn't son. My head's pounding and the sight of you is making it worse. What the hell happened to you?" Jeez, he's been out of it for weeks and all he can do is ask how I am. Some things never change.

"How about you start worrying about yourself from now on?" I don't even need to face Daisy to know that she's rolling her eyes. The day Mal decides to care about himself above all others would be like seeing a kid without sweets on Halloween.

"When can I get out of here? I’ve been going insane."

"When the doctor says so dear, and no sooner." I watch them both and can't help feel like I am back in my teenage years. Daisy has always worn the trousers in their relationship. Not in a bad way either, she's always kept him on his toes that's for sure.

 

It's been a shocking couple of weeks. Mal flew out as a surprise after being held up at Stanton's. It turns out he developed a blood clot on the flight over, which then resulted in a heart attack. As soon as he was admitted to the hospital they carried out some tests which lead to surgery. As if he hadn't put us through the mill enough he then went and had a reaction to the anaesthesia and landed himself up in intensive care. But Mal had decided he wasn't quite finished with the worry and stress just yet and had a another heart attack two days later, only this time he fell into a coma.

"I think you made your arrival known Mal, now it’s time to do as you’re told. You hear me?" The grin he flashes back at me signals that he has heard me loud and clear.

“Oh Max, you know he isn’t going to listen to you dear. He hasn’t listened to me in almost three and a half decades. Why would he see the point in starting now?” Daisy has a valid point as usual, all the while Mal continues to grin at us both from where he’s lay in the hospital bed.

“Well I’ll let you get your lunch and I’ll come back to see you this evening. Daisy if you need anything let me know and I can make sure that I bring it up later.” I hate having to leave them at the hospital. I hate that there is nothing that I can do. Waiting is a fucking bitch. The sooner he’s out the better, for all of us.

 

JESS

 

"He's on the mend, so it's definitely good news."

"We've all been worried sick. Bloody hell, he's always been so healthy too. To say it was a shock doesn't cut it."

"Apparently it can happen to anyone at any time, even the fittest of people. I'm just happy that he's finally awake. Poor Daisy's never left his side, not once."

"That's true love for you princess. Any idea when you’re likely to be coming home? It's been too long already. Please tell me you'll be back for your birthday?" I can hear Jen's heels clicking around in the background as we have our daily catch up. I can just picture her now, pacing her living room like a mad woman. She always does when something is outside of her control.

"God I hope so, I'm not really a fan of spending it alone." Saying it out loud pains me much more than keeping it on the inside where only I know how much I have left myself down. Allowing myself to fall for someone when I knew, just knew straight from the off that this is where I would end up.

"Oh princess, have you not spoken to him yet? He seemed pretty into you when he was over here."

"Things obviously change Jen." I didn't even want to talk about Max and once again here he is, always appearing when I want to forget about him. "I'm pretty sure he's occupied with other stuff right now anyway."

"Talk to him, please? You could be pushing away a really good thing, all because of your stubbornness and your goddamn pride."

"You didn't see them together Jen. She's obviously wanted to get her claws into him for some time. I guess seeing how he was with me made her up her game some." I knew there was a reason I hated that bitch as soon as I heard her voice a mere few weeks back. I’d love nothing more than to give her a right good slap, but the professional in me is far too strong.

"Well for what it's worth, I think you'd be stupid not to try." I can't help the laugh that escapes me at her
wise
words of wisdom.

"You would. I'm not as bold as you Jen; I shy away from rejection like a fucking recluse on the tube. I let my barriers drop and look how well that turned out."

"You know I'm not going to let this drop. Anyway, this bitch needs some sleep so I'll call your stubborn arse later."

"No worries, good night and I love you."

"Love you too princess."

 

I place my phone back onto the table feeling a little homesick. What I would give to walk into Joe’s with Jen and George for a right good piss up. I throw my head back and welcome the glorious heat as it shines down on me. Maybe Jen's right. What if it was a misunderstanding?

"Yeah right." I say aloud. If that was the case, what's stopped him from calling me to explain? Nothing, absolutely nothing. Which tells me he’s just like the rest of them, fucking arse.

"Talking to yourself again?"

"It soothes my mind." I reply, opening one eye to look at Melissa. I still feel pretty awkward staying here. After all she is Max's sister and I don’t think she’s had much experience taking in his strays. It’s not exactly the ideal situation but I don't really have anywhere else to go and she was kind enough to offer me a room and I’d hate to offend her.

"Hey, as long as you’re happy then that's all that matters right?"

"Yeah, I guess." I smile up at her while the ache in my chest weighs me down.

"Shit, sorry. Completely the wrong thing to say."

"Don't worry about it, I'm good, honest. I'm glad you're back actually. I've been meaning to talk to you."

"Finally decided to let your hair down and have some fun with me then?" She says hopefully. Melissa has been hounding me since I moved in with her to go out and have some fun. It's all well and good to plaster on a fake smile, god I've been doing that for most of my life, but when you throw alcohol into the mix, shit could get embarrassing. I don't want to be the one that spills their heart out while drunk, least of all with Melissa which is exactly what I will end up doing. I don't think she'd appreciate me telling her all about how much I need Max in my life.

"Maybe." I say to stall the begging that will come later. "But that's not what I wanted to talk to you about." Shit, how am I going to say this without sounding like an ungrateful cow after everything she has done for me?

"Spill it then woman." She demands. Sometimes she acts just like her brother and that's pretty hard for me to handle, even though it's not her fault. It does however give me the push that I need.

"I'm going back to London." There I've done it, taking a deep breath and mentally give myself a high five. I wait as Melissa just looks at me and doesn't say a word. Now I definitely feel like an ungrateful cow.

"I'm not following you." She says after quite a long pause. Her eyes focus on mine and I'm a little too scared to answer her. Angry Melissa isn’t someone that I really want to mess with.

"I'm going back home Liss." I say.

"I'm not that stupid Jess. I know what you said, what I don't understand is why?" Wow, really. Did she just say that? Isn’t it pretty fucking obvious?

"Well, now that Mal's on the mend I don't see any reason for me to be here. What with everything that has happened anyway." I say the last part more quietly, because knowing my luck, if I say it out loud somehow Max will hear me.

"Bullshit. Have you even spoken to my brother? Have you even let him explain his side? Believe what you want but I'm telling you he would never go for Stella in a million fucking years."

"To be honest, I don't feel comfortable here anymore Liss. It's not you, it's me." I stop after realising what words have just come out of my mouth and we both burst out laughing at the same time.

"Did you really just quote a breaking up speech at me? In case you didn't know, I have a vagina. Unless you’re into that kind of thing. That would be pretty funny actually as it would prove that Max doesn't have any balls."

"I'm not even going there with you Liss. I'd just be happier at home I guess. All the project work can be done from Stanton's anyway." I feel really bad as I'm trying to explain how I feel to her, and also defend my actions, but I know I need to get it off my chest.

"Well you know best, but please speak to him before you go. You don't want to look back later on down the line with a bunch of what ifs following you for the rest of your life, and I really can’t be arsed having to deal with him pining after what could have been. Do you know how miserable that would make me?"

"Sure." I nod knowing full well that I won't be contacting Max in the slightest. The sooner I'm back on home turf the better. I'm bloody miserable myself. I have been ever since I witnessed them in their passionate embrace. I guess I'd rather be miserable instead of playing the fool though. I’ve already had the pleasure of experiencing how that feels. I lower my sunglasses as Melissa steps back into the house; just I time to hide the hot, salty tears of defeat that begin to fall.

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