Eden's Pleasure (11 page)

longingly at his cock as he regarded me.

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“What am I to do with you, Eden?”

I refused to answer and he reached for the sheet again. My body squirmed away

from him but he captured one of my legs under his heavy thigh. I closed my eyes and

listened to the cloth brush against my skin until I thought I might scream.

“If you tell me what you want, love, I might aid you.” My eyes flew open as

Gervase ran a hand up and down his cock. “After all…” He smiled at me. “It seems a

shame to waste this, doesn’t it?”

“Yes.” I managed to choke out the words. “Yes, damn you. I want you to make love

to me.”

Gervase’s expression changed and he reached up to release my hands. “That’s the

second time you have said that tonight, Eden. Is fucking not to your liking anymore?”

As the silence lengthened, I silently berated my lack of control. I had promised

myself not to mention the word love and had apparently done so twice. Gervase was no

fool. I could not judge from his face whether the thought of lovemaking as opposed to

fucking meant anything at all to him.

I managed to smile at him and hold out my arms. He came over me and slid into

me. I held tightly to his shoulders as relief and pleasure rushed through me in unending

pulsating waves. He might call it what he wished but I knew in my heart that I was

making love.

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Chapter Seven

I awoke before dawn and slid from the bed. Gervase lay sprawled on his back, an

expression of deep innocence and contentment on his face. I bent to brush a kiss on his

roughened cheek and tied one of the black ribbons in a jaunty bow around his softened

cock. I stopped at the door to look back at him, knowing that this last sight would have

to last me a lifetime. Tears crowded the back of my throat as I pictured the long lonely

years ahead.

I blew him a kiss and then hurried home to dress for my visit with the viscount. His

note had stated that I visit at my convenience but I knew he meant at my earliest

convenience. While I waited for the appropriate social hour to call, I busied myself

packing my bags and sending them to a posting house.

I was glad that neither Gideon nor Gervase were at home to see me leave. I doubted

if I could have answered their questions with any equanimity. They knew me too well

to believe any lies that I might have attempted. I cast one last glance around the

sumptuous black marble of Gideon’s hallway then squared my shoulders and left for

Harcourt House where the twins’ father was now in residence.

Viscount Harcourt saw me immediately and I was ushered into the red gold

splendor of his study by a butler of truly awe-inspiring dignity. The viscount rose to his

feet and bowed to me as he gestured to a straight-backed chair in front of his imposing

mahogany desk. I arranged myself on the seat as gracefully as I could, clasping my

reticule to disguise my shaking fingers.

The twins’ father regarded me over the top of a pair of gold-rimmed spectacles,

which did nothing to dispel his air of authority or hide his handsome features. He was

dressed in the latest fashion, not a crease visible in the perfect fit of his dove-gray jacket

or a fold out of place in his starched cravat.

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“Ah, Eden. Thank you for coming to see me.”

He smiled and his likeness to his sons became even more apparent. Where their

hair was golden, his had faded to a dull straw color, their eyes were bright blue, his

were a more cynical silver.

He set down his quill pen and steepled his fingers together. “I hear you have been

enjoying your widowhood, my dear, particularly with my sons.” He shrugged as if

amused. “It is a shame that Mr. Carstairs died so easily and failed you so badly in that

area of your marriage.”

I stiffened in my chair as I registered the mocking tone of his voice. For a man who

had been known as a rake in his youth, and worse, the viscount seemed to have

changed his views.

I stared at the pile of books on his desk before I ventured a reply. I did not want to

antagonize the viscount when he held my future in his hands but I refused to allow him

to intimidate me. I lifted my chin, a false smile pinned to my lips.

“I appreciate your concern, my lord, but Mr. Carstairs was not a kind man and he

perhaps came by his just reward.”

His silver eyes met mine and reflected my hint of a challenge. “Well, be that as it

may, as a favor to your mother, I believe it behooves me to find you another husband.”

His long fingers stirred some papers on the desk and he glanced down at them.

“Unfortunately, Mr. Carstairs did not leave you well enough provided for to allow you

to live alone. Of course, if you had had his child, the situation would be different.”

I bit down on my lip at this pointed reminder of my failure as the viscount

continued speaking. “However, I do have some candidates in mind for you. One of

whom my sons insisted I consider.”

I gazed at him in bewilderment and his lip curled in apparent surprise. “You did

not know? I have had to listen to Gideon and Gervase pleading your case for the last

month. Gideon appears to think I should allow you to marry Gervase, presumably

because they still feel guilty about what happened to you when you were eighteen.”

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I found my voice and looked straight back at him. “Perhaps it is right that they feel

some guilt. They corrupted me and got off without punishment whilst I was forced to

marry an old man.”

The viscount sat back. “Do you expect me to feel sorry for you, my dear? It is the

way of the world and you know it. You knew it when you allowed the twins to touch

you when you were but eighteen and you knew it when you allowed them to touch you

now.”

I sucked in a breath and continued to gaze at him. He shook his head. “We stray

from the point. Gervase insists he wants to marry you to make up for your years of

torment, his words not mine, with Mr. Carstairs. Has he mentioned marriage to you?”

I shook my head, pride insisting that I stay upright in my chair and look my accuser

in the eye.

“I wonder why not?” The viscount mused. “Maybe you have been foolish, Eden,

and allowed him the freedom of your body without extracting any promises from him.”

He shrugged his elegant shoulders. “Why should Gervase bother to marry you when he

has already had you?”

The deliberate crudity from a man who scarcely needed to use such language set

my teeth on edge. I struggled to remember that it was not as he believed.

“No, my lord, Gervase has not offered me marriage, nor did I expect him to. I chose

to share my body with him.” I cocked an insolent eyebrow at the viscount who sat back

as if amused. “Does it shock you that a woman might have needs like a man?”

The viscount smiled. “Nothing shocks me, my dear. I offer you my congratulations.

Not many women in your position would be brave enough to turn down an offer of

marriage. Not even one made out of pity. And make no mistake, what Gervase feels for

you is guilt and pity.” His eyes narrowed to the color of flint and he leaned slightly

towards me.

“Let us take the gloves off and discuss this matter properly. I do not wish Gervase

to marry you but not for the reasons you might imagine.” He must have sensed my

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bewilderment as he smiled again. “You are a beautiful and sensual woman. A woman

who reminds me greatly of the twins’ mother.”

He folded his hands together on the desk and looked down at them. “I do not say

that lightly. Louisa was the light of my life and if I were but twenty years younger I

suspect I would be brawling over you myself.” His mouth twisted. “But as I grow older

and more aware of the fragility of life I have a strange desire to see my line established.”

My stomach ceased to burn with nerves and instead seemed to fill with ashes as the

viscount captured my gaze. “I want grandchildren, Eden. Gideon’s wife is unstable, and

God forbid I should wish harm on her, but Gideon swears he will not lie with her even

to make a child.” He sighed. “And that leaves Gervase.”

His voice softened and I tensed my shoulders to repel his apparent sympathy. “You

were married for several years to a man who was desperate for a child. He swore to me

he would bed you every night until you gave him one.”

He sat back. “You didn’t conceive, my dear, and I cannot allow you to marry my

son and threaten my chances for grandchildren. Gervase deserves children. He would

be an excellent father. He might tell you that it doesn’t matter to him but I suspect you

know that for a virile man like Gervase it does.”

The room blurred before my eyes. I realized that I had been weeping for a while as I

listened to the viscount. He knew I was but a barren shell. He was right. I couldn’t

deprive Gervase of the chance of children. I fought for control as the silence lengthened,

marred only by the ticking of the mantel clock. At length, an elegant hand appeared at

my elbow and dropped a large handkerchief into my lap.

I drew in several slow breaths, blew my nose and lifted my head to find the

viscount watching me.

“You may rest easy, my lord,” I whispered. “I never intended to entrap Gervase. I

wished only to enjoy my widowhood for a short while until you found another elderly

husband to stifle me with.”

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The viscount met my gaze, a hint of respect and understanding in there which

nearly made me cry again. He glanced down at a list of names on his desk.

“As to that, they are not all elderly,” he said gently. “Some are even men with

young families to raise who would love the care of a new mother.”

I gathered my courage. “If I accept what you say about Gervase, will you allow me

some element of choice this time?”

The viscount folded the piece of paper and handed it to me with a wave of his

hand. “Of course. I would have allowed that anyway.” He hesitated. “And time to

make that choice if you so desire it.”

I nodded and he passed another heavier package across the desk to me. “I have

made arrangements for you to reside at this cottage on my estate near Brighton. All the

men on your list will come and visit with you, at your invitation, over the summer.

Perhaps by Christmas you will have made your decision?”

I stowed the bulky papers away in my reticule and knew that when I left Harcourt

House I would be escorted with considerable speed and every luxury to my new home.

I drew in a hard-won breath.

“I don’t think I can face Gervase again.” I tried to laugh but my voice shook. “How

can I ask him if he wishes to marry me and then decline his offer all in one breath? Can

you give him my apologies?”

The viscount bowed. “Of course. I would not expect you to deliver such news in

person.”

I got to my feet, suddenly desperate to be away from all the Harcourts and their

compelling charm. When I reached the door, the viscount asked, “You love him, don’t

you?”

I turned to face him. “Yes, too much to saddle him with a barren wife.”

He released his breath with a gentle sigh. “Godspeed then, Eden, and thank you for

your understanding.”

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I stepped out into the brightness of Hanover Square and made my way to the

discreet closed carriage that awaited me. I smiled at the footman who assisted me into

the carriage and slammed the door. A sharp pain under my ribs made me breathless

and I had to suck in great gulps of air. I wrapped my arms around myself and allowed

the sway of the carriage to rock me. Tears came and my heart shattered into a thousand

pieces as I drew further and further away from Gervase.

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Chapter Eight

I swore in an extremely unladylike manner as a closed carriage swept past and

doused me in filthy, muddy rainwater. Two months had passed since my flight from

London. I glared up at the sky. It was supposed to be summer. The changeable weather

suited my troubled mind. When I set out to walk to the vicarage the weather was mild

and the skies clear. Now, as the heavens opened, I regretted not accepting the vicar’s

offer of a ride home in his carriage. At the time it had seemed pointless to expect him to

harness his horses for a journey of less than ten minutes. Now as sullen rain filled

clouds gathered in ever darkening ranks, I hurried to find my way home.

At last, I ran up my flower-lined path, head lowered against the buffeting wind and

straight into the hall calling for my maid. There was no reply as I shook out my sodden

cloak and kicked my ruined kid slippers aside. A welcome light in the best parlor

beckoned me through the darkness. I entered the room and struggled with the ties of

my bonnet.

My fingers stilled on the doorknob as I took in a pair of muddy army boots planted

on my hearth. I slowly looked upwards. Gervase stood with his back to the small fire

absorbing all the heat. In the confines of my thatched cottage, his rain-dampened hair

brushed the oak beams that crossed the white plastered ceiling.