Double Trouble (5 page)

Chapter 8.

Once everything had settled down and the appropriate alcoholic toasts drunk, Stephanie raised the question of the overall winner. “Kim,” she commanded, “please fetch the
judge
.” I grinned and went to find Paul, knowing this was
exactly
the sort of thing that he
hated
, but also that he would be too
polite
to refuse.

I dragged his reluctant body into our circle and Stephanie explained the rules and outlined all of the dares.

“Now then,” she declared, “having heard all the evidence, and pondered all the implications, which of us is the
winner
? Who had to overcome the
most
to finish their dare?”

Poor Paul. I felt
sorry
for him. No matter
what
he decided, he’d be open to protests and I suddenly regretted getting him involved. But, as I should have known, he was
equal
to the task.

“You’ve
all
had to fight an uphill battle,” he began, “and you’ve all done amazingly well. To triumph over your personal fears the way you all have is incredible and I salute you all. You should be
proud
of yourselves.” He smiled sincerely at everyone in open admiration.

I looked around at the girls. They were all flushing and simpering, batting their eyelashes and coyly playing with their hair. There he goes
again
, I thought wryly, making every woman he meets all
blushy
and fluttery. How does he
do
it? I wish I had that effect on men, or even women. I’d take love from
any
quarter - I wasn’t proud.

“I can’t separate any
one
of you,” he admitted. “You’re
all
winners really, so, to decide things I’m going to call for a ‘short straw wins’ competition. Does everyone agree?”

A chorus of ‘
Yes, of course, Paul, anything you say
’ greeted this announcement. If he’d suggested jumping into a
volcano
at this stage, I thought a little jealously, I’m sure they would have
fought
each other to stand in line. He went away and came back with four straws in his hand.

“The
shortest
one wins,” he stated, holding them out. Nobody wanted to go first and so, as usual,
Stephanie
took control and said, “Janice first, then Maureen, then Kim, okay?
I’ll
go last.”

We all picked our guesses but nobody wanted to look at them. “Oh, for
heaven’s
sake!” Stephanie complained and opened her hand. We all followed suit and discovered that
Maureen
had the shortest straw. “I
win
!” she squealed, excitedly.

“And what’s your
first
decree, you Majesty?” Stephanie asked expectantly.

“Uh, I’m not sure,” Maureen dithered. “Let me think…….Okay then, my first wish is that
Janice
has to take us all out for tea tomorrow night.” This was greeted with approval from most of us - Janice being a little
subdued
, however.

“And for
me
?” Stephanie prompted.

“Oh, this is
fun
!” Maureen exclaimed. “You have to……to do my
laundry
for the week.”

“Done and
done
,” Stephanie confirmed. And what about Kim? What does
she
do?”

“I’m not sure,” Maureen frowned. “I can’t think of anything off hand….
Wait
! I
know
! Stef suggested before that Kim do a
striptease
for us. I’d like to
see
that.”

“
What
?” I objected. “Stef, tell her she can’t
do
that! There has to be a rule against
humiliation
somewhere. I
won’t
do it!”

Janice was laughing uncontrollably. “I’m
out
of here,” grinned Paul, swiftly departing the scene.

Stephanie was grinning also. “I don’t know Kim,” she said. “The rules state that you have to do
whatever
the winner wants. You
did
agree.”

“I didn’t agree to make a public
spectacle
of myself,” I argued. I appealed to Maureen. “Why don’t you make
Stef
do it and
I’ll
do the laundry? How about
that
?”

“Oh,” commented Stephanie, “so it’s okay for
me
to do a striptease, but not if
you
do it, is
that
it?” She shook her finger at me. “
Double
standards, my girl, double standards. I’m
disappointed
in you.”

Janice came down on Stephanie’s side and berated me for dodging my responsibilities, and in the end, I became tired of the whole argument.

“All right, all right, I’ll
do
it,” I exclaimed, throwing my hands up in defeat. “But I want you to know that I think you’re all a bunch of
perverts
and you don’t
deserve
to be my friends. I don’t know
why
I put up with the lot of you, I really don’t.”

Stephanie smirked. “Come on, Kim, don’t be a spoilsport. We’re just having a bit of fun. And anyway, you wouldn’t want to see
me
do a strip. You’d have
nightmares
for weeks if you did. If
anybody’s
going to do it, it should be someone who’s
worthwhile
perving on, and, I’m afraid, honey, that means
you
. It’s the price you have to pay for being born beautiful. It’s simply the rest of us, who
weren’t
born that way, getting a bit of
revenge
.”

“I still think you’re all weird,” I grumbled, “but okay, I’ll do it, just to keep the peace, but I want those rules of yours to be subjected to a
review
. Nothing humiliating is to be
allowed
in the future, all right? And there’s to be no
cameras
, or recording devices of any kind, at this little function, okay? It’s bad enough to have to
do
this, let alone being
recorded
for the whole world to see for years to come.
Agreed
?”

“Agreed,” Stephanie said. “I’ll find some appropriate music in the meantime. The day after tomorrow, then?”

“I suppose,” I conceded. “It’s as good a time as any to be publicly embarrassed.”

Maureen hugged me. “Come on, Kim, it’ll be
fun
! A bit of a laugh for everyone. We’re all friends, after all. It’ll just be us
girls
, and you’ve told us often enough about your earlier hippie days and how you used to walk around without your clothes on there. It won’t be anything you haven’t
done
before.”

“I know,” I replied, surrendering to her logic, “it’s not the
naked
bit that’s causing the problem; it’s the idea of
stripping
as a floor show routine. Don’t you think it’s a bit
demeaning
?”

Maureen paused, still cuddling me. “It would be if it was for a
male
audience, leering at you, but it’s not going to be anything like that, Kim. It’s just
us
, after all. But if you feel really strongly about it, I’ll call the whole thing
off
.”

“No, no, I’ll
do
it,” I told her. “It might be a laugh for everyone. And I
did
see a few strip shows out of curiosity once when I was younger, so I have a vague idea of what to do. It’s just not something I’d want to put in the
Christmas
letter, that’s all.”

Chapter 9.

Janice took us all out to dinner the next day. Nothing
fancy
, mind, because that would have been too expensive, but somewhere nice all the same. Stephanie went to Maureen’s apartment and did her washing and I looked up ‘
exotic dancing’
on the internet for ideas. If I was forced to do this thing then, by god, I was going to
dazzle
that pack of depraved deviants with the
ultimate
performance! I had been initially reluctant but my competitive spirit had taken over and I wanted to give my girlfriends a show they wouldn’t forget in a hurry. I practiced my routine in my room, in front of the mirror, using some downloaded music I found, until I was reasonably satisfied with the results. Unfortunately, I had to rely on my
own
judgement because I couldn’t ask Paul. He’d totally freak if I showed him because I was still his baby sister and he took his role of big brother very seriously. In fact, I was surprised that he’d allowed this to go
ahead
in the first place and that in itself gave me some comfort. If
he
believed that it was just a bit of harmless fun, then there couldn’t be
too
much wrong with it. He was so
protective
of me and would instantly bristle if he thought I was in any danger or was likely to be hurt in any way. That thought produced a momentarily warm feeling. It was
nice
to have someone care about you to that degree.

The day arrived of my debut as a stripper. I’d done a
lot
of strange things in my time, but this was something new for me, and I found I became a little nervous as the time approached. We decided to hold the floor show at Maureen’s place because I didn’t want Paul to accidently see me doing my little turn. He’d always possessed an old fashioned view of nudity and had this added phobia of seeing his little sister without her clothes on, and so he studiously avoided any occasion where he might come across it. I respected his views and was always extremely careful never to let him see me
déshabillé
. It would have embarrassed him dreadfully, and I never wanted that to happen.

We gathered at Maureen’s and had a few drinks to start proceedings - just to add to the
atmosphere
, you understand. Maureen then waved another note from our mysterious letter writer in front of our noses and we read it avidly. I didn’t know whether to be flattered or wary - always providing that he, or
she
, as the case may be, was writing about
me
, of course.

I find you as beautiful as ever. Please don’t be alarmed by these love notes. I mean you no harm.

Your admirer.

“They’re getting
shorter
,” Stephanie remarked.

“He’s running out of things to say,” Janice contributed.

“Or she is,” amended Maureen.

“I don’t want to think of him being a ‘she’, if you don’t mind,” Janice announced, primly. “It still makes me uncomfortable.”

“Oh, lighten
up
, Jan,” Stephanie scolded. “There’s nothing wrong with a little girl action. I’m
surprised
at you.”

“It was the way I was brought up,” Janice replied, frostily. “Don’t go
on
at me, Stef. Friends
don’t
criticise friends.”

“They
do
if they’re being pig-headed,” Stephanie grinned. “But, very well, we’ll leave you to wallow in your conservative outlook for now. Bring on the
entertainment
!”

To the cheers and whistles of the group, I started the music and began.

I thought it went over fairly well. The whole thing lasted only about ten minutes, but I made sure it was a fairly
interesting
ten minutes. Removing your clothes in a teasing manner without looking like a complete idiot is more difficult than it sounds - not to mention the
embarrassment
factor. But I closed my mind to all of that and completed my routine to the pleasing sounds of total awe-struck silence - if that isn’t too much of a contradiction. Finally, the music stopped, with the last article of clothing being removed, just as I had practiced, and I stood there, facing them, hands on hips, and demanded, “Well, is
that
what you all wanted? Are you satisfied
now
?”

My statement was greeted with uninhibited applause. Stephanie and Maureen jumped out of their chairs and rushed over to me, and took me in a spontaneous hug.

“Kim, sweetheart, you could do this for a
living
!” Stephanie announced. “You have an undeniable
expertise
for striptease! Another rhyme! I’m on
fire
!”

“Right on!” agreed Maureen. “Ohh, that was so
sexy
! I’ve got goose bumps all over.”

Janice hung back, but eventually, she too came over and joined the group hug, congratulating me.

“Thanks, you guys,” I said, “but do you mind if I can get dressed again? I mean, I know we’re
friends
and all, but being the
only
naked one in the group is putting me at a disadvantage.”

“I don’t know about
that
, Kim, my darling,” Stephanie chortled. “Maureen might decide to keep you naked for the
rest
of the week. You could do a show
every
night. She’s right, you know. You
are
sexy.
Grrr
, I’m a little turned
on
already!”

“
Stop
that, Stef!” I admonished. “
Behave
yourself!”

“I’m only
kidding
,” she said, with a laugh, pulling away from me, along with Janice. “But, girlfriend, you’re one
fine
looking woman! I can’t
believe
that no one’s grabbed you so far.”

“Yes, well, that’s a whole
new
question,” I grumbled, mentally reviewing my appalling record of broken romances. “I just don’t seem to be able to
keep
a boyfriend, or even a
girlfriend
, for that matter.”

“Maybe no one’s tried
hard
enough to keep you,” Maureen commented, still hugging me.

“I don’t think that’s the problem,” I argued. “I think it must be
me
. Umm, Maureen, can you let me
go
now, please? I want to get dressed.”

“Oh,
sorry
, Kim, of course,” Maureen blushed, releasing me. “I got a bit carried away.”

“Yes, you
did
, didn’t you?” Stephanie remarked shrewdly, with a slight, knowing smile on her face. “Never mind, it was
great
! Kim, you were
magnificent
! Congrats once again.”

The others echoed Stephanie’s praise as I put my clothes back on and rejoined respectability.