Dominque (Knights to Remember) (2 page)

Private school fees, school uniforms, trips to places everyone else in her class was going on and she just couldn’t
not
go. Switzerland, Germany, Paris… Christ, Dominque went to an average state school. He was lucky if they went to the local park for a day trip.

The private school was a stupid idea, but when he was nineteen and still enamoured by the newness of his job and the money pouring in like water, he listened to the agency’s Madam Harriot when she told him about the exclusive all girls private school twenty miles from where they lived in Roundhay. Angelique was more than happy to play princess and brag about it to anyone who would listen. He was happy at the time. Anything to take the bad memories away and leave good ones in their place.

To change his job, he’d have to be good at something other than sex, though, and he hadn’t even finished school. He couldn’t. They understood, said he could take the exams at home, but things didn’t go to plan and he slipped through the net. He could go back, take an online course, but then he’d need time to actually do it. He wasn’t stupid, far from it. What he lacked was confidence, and it had been so long since he’d been praised for anything other than how good he was in bed.

Being the agency’s number one gay escort kept him busy. He was in demand constantly from regulars and newcomers. It seemed the longer he worked there the more people heard about him. He’d been on double shifts for the last two weeks, and he was physically and mentally worn down. He could barely find the energy to even stand up and go to bed. Sleeping outside seemed to be a good idea, but the damp air and clouds hovering above him made him finally move inside.

His body ached, inside and out, and he was sure he had lock jaw from the tediously long blow job he gave the last client. He needed a break, but not abroad. He needed to be at home—oh, and not have sex.

As he walked upstairs, dragging his heavy feet up each step, Dominque stopped, thinking hard about the last time he actually had sex outside of the job, but he couldn’t remember. It must have been years. The realisation he couldn’t place when and who he’d last given himself to made his heart pound in his chest and his stomach flutter.

He’d become one of
them
.

One of the escorts where it was the job and
only
the job. Okay, so a relationship while he worked was out of the question, but sex… When had he stopped wanting sex? When he’d gotten so much of it every day at work he physically couldn’t stand the thought of someone touching him? When did that happen?

He couldn’t even remember going out for a drink and meeting up with friends. He used to have friends, not many, and not from school, but they were good people. People he could trust, people who he’d walked away from two years ago and been too frightened to go back.

Dominque slumped on his bed, playing with his phone and looking through his Facebook feed while he kicked off his designer shoes. He searched through his friends list and spotted Kieran was still there, just like he said he would be if Dominque ever needed him. Maybe it was time to actually go out and just be himself, and meet up for a chat. See some people who weren’t paying for him for a change.

He could do that. Take some time off. Just a few days midweek, leaving his weekend free for dates. He needed the time to himself. He felt lost when he wasn’t at work. It was like it was all he could think of—all he was. He didn’t have a life anymore. It was all about the paying clients and what they wanted.

It was with Kieran he last considered himself a person, and not an expensive commodity to be bought for the right price. They’d been friends, nothing more, but from the age of nineteen, with Kieran at his side, Dominque was shown a world which he had no idea existed, but always unknowingly craved.

J
acob ran his fingertips down the spine of the sub kneeling before him, waiting for his breathing to calm and his chest to stop heaving before he knelt behind him, encasing him in a strong hold, bringing the burning flesh of the man’s body to his chest and allowing him to relax.

Two hours passed by since they first entered the private room in Jacob’s chosen club. This was the first time he’d picked a playmate in over a month, and he’d worn the poor thing out. He’d watched Bailey in passing, admired him, but he was a little too close to what Jacob craved, and he held back because of it. A sub like Bailey could claim his interest for longer than his traditional one night stand rule. A self-imposed one which he followed religiously.

Tracing soft strokes of his palm over the still breathless sub’s chest, Jacob kissed his shoulder, whispering soft words of praise against the hot flesh, willing him to come down from his high and return to the room. Jacob was satisfied with him. The restraint and willingness to hold off for so long just to please him fulfilled a profound need within Jacob, one which had been left for too long.

Many would consider Bailey a perfect submissive, one who any Dom would be proud of. He’d already developed the elegant deportment and controlled cool detachment Jacob enjoyed in his subs. Jacob was sure Bailey would be snapped up when he decided to take a Dom. Even with the numbers weighing heavily in the Dom’s favour, with far more subs than Doms available, Bailey would be chosen above countless other subs for his poise and natural submissive nature.

If Jacob wasn’t so adamant about not having a regular sub, he would voice his invitation to Bailey, but Jacob didn’t live the life twenty four seven, and Bailey did. It would be a full time role, one which, even if Jacob wanted to take up, would be out of the question.

Feeling Bailey’s breathing slow down, Jacob helped him to his feet, laying him on the bed and covering him up before he lay behind him, watching as his lids dropped and he fell asleep.

Jacob never slept with his playmates. One, because it was his obligation to make sure they were looked after and safe, and two, because despite whatever they may have done moments before, sleeping was too personal for Jacob.

Like most things in life, he was desired and in demand with most subs because they couldn't have him. It was common knowledge he had never taken a regular sub and he wasn’t looking for one, but he was a good Dom and his reputation continued to hold the attention and respect of those around him. He would occasionally be invited to share a sub by their Dom, but mostly he chose a new man every time he came. He slipped up once and chose the same sub twice, but it was a mistake, and the man hadn’t really served to imprint himself on Jacob’s memory.

Jacob stared at Bailey sleeping peacefully beside him, stroking a strand of hair from his face and enjoying the contentment etched on his features. He was too close to what Jacob needed. It was risky asking Bailey to join him, but after a month of no sex, when he caught sight of the bound kneeling figure so expertly displayed before him, Jacob didn’t think through the night in his usual detached way.

Bailey was slender and tall, legs which went on and on, and looked stunning in the black leather knee high boots he wore earlier. He was willowy and lithe, younger than Jacob’s thirty four years, by around ten years he would guess. Too young for Jacob to seriously consider more with him. More and Jacob was a complicated issue, because by more, he simply meant more nights like the one they just shared. More to others would mean a relationship either within or outside of the club—love and commitment, but Jacob already had a love and he was one hundred percent committed to it. His job.

Jacob was the type of person who always pushed himself to do better, to do more, to keep going. It was the reason he achieved the position he now occupied at the Royal London Teaching Hospital as a consultant surgeon, and the reason he advanced so quickly as a Dom.

He had no sooner finished one task and he was already planning the next. He never stopped to enjoy the moment as his closest friend so often told him. Robert was right. Jacob was in such a constant flux of learning and moving forwards he forgot about everything he’d already achieved, never pausing to feel proud or celebrate, just heading onwards and upwards.

It was like he was stuck on an escalator, never seeing where he would stop, not being able to get off for a rest. Continually proceeding on, being forced to never look back. He chose this way of life, but recently he’d been looking for a floor where he could step off onto firm ground and be still for a moment.

Inside, he worried if he did stop, his momentum would forever halt and he would become stuck on that floor, stagnant in that place, never wanting to start again. But then perhaps he worried too much. Life was going so fast. It seemed only months ago he started his first year as a doctor in the busy Accident and Emergency department, but it had been over ten years.

Ten years. The thought made him pause. Where had the time gone? Would the next ten years pass by in the same way? Would he be lying next to some soon-to-be-forgotten-sub when he was forty four and looking back over twenty years, not ten?

He knew time was one thing no one could own. It had no master and it didn’t yield or bend for any man. Seeing grieving families as they said their last goodbyes to loved ones over the years drove home the visual aspect of time moving forwards. It was a speeding train which stopped for nothing, continually driving you onwards. He’d seen and heard so many regrets in those last few hours before a patient closed their eyes for the final time. Most of them wished they had more time, or spent it more wisely.

Life was short. Even if you lived to be a hundred, life would always seem to have ended too soon. There are always more things to do, more requests and prayers for longer. Jacob wasn’t God, despite how some of the patients and their families thought he was, he couldn't grant those wishes, even at times when he’d been desperate to achieve them.

The feeling he should slow down grew stronger inside him every day. It was an obsession which drove Jacob crazy. He had no reason to slow down, or was it he had no reason because he wouldn’t slow down?

Jacob ran his fingers through his collar-length blond hair, looking at himself for the first time in the mirror above them and analysing his naked body. Time in that respect had been kind to him. A regular gym routine and a demanding job kept him on his toes physically. He wasn’t big, but he had muscles to be proud of and a nice shape which was appreciated by most people.

He wasn’t old, and he didn’t look it, but he felt it more often than not recently. He touched the light lines around his eyes. He wasn’t one for hiding them, and he considered a bit of age on a man a good thing, but too soon he would be looking at a much older man. He glanced to his side, wondering if he should ask Bailey to join him again the following week. It would be a step forward which he knew he should take, but something stopped him.

Jacob had high demands and a complicated hole in his possible future relationship to fill. One he was sure Bailey wouldn’t be happy with. He couldn't dedicate his time so easily. Even if he did back off at work, he still spent far too long away from home, and having a needy sub pressuring him to return would only irritate him. He didn’t live the life Bailey required.

He wanted a man which he wasn’t sure existed. The perfect man. The one. His Boy.

Jacob never used names like Boy or Pet for his subs. It was their name only. It felt too personal to give his one night stands such a term. He wanted
his
boy to be
the one
, and he’d never used it on anyone, but he wanted to.

Jacob’s perfect person had been a fantasy for so long. He’d grown and developed over the years to an almost unobtainable height. He had requirements which one person couldn't fulfil, and sat on a pedestal so high Jacob was positive no one man could climb to stand on, but he wasn’t ready to let go of his fantasy just yet.

Jacob wanted perfect submission as well as the temperament to be a strong individual when alone. He had to be independent, but willing to be owned completely when Jacob desired it. He wanted both Yin and Yang in one person, both dominant and submissive. He had to be able to push and yield. Jacob couldn't be with someone who bowed down to his every whim all the time, it wasn’t needed. He would have to stand beside Jacob as an equal, but kneel before him as a slave. He had to be strong, so strong he wouldn’t pander to Jacob’s obsessive nature and controlling character.

And… he was beautiful.

Jacob’s perfect type was very like Bailey, and even though he had many of the attributes Jacob admired, they weren’t as close to his ideal as he would prefer. His skin was too dark, he liked lighter tones, and his features were too sharp in places, nose a tiny bit too long. His fantasy had a classic beauty, high cheekbones, big eyes. And those eyes… They had to speak to Jacob. They had to hold such power in them he would feel his knees shake when he looked into them.

In short, Jacob wanted to be owned so completely by his fantasy he would worship the ground he walked on. He wanted to mourn when they were parted, crave him so much he would feel it ache in every bone, and when they were close, he wanted to feel live wires of electricity running through them, drawing them in a way he’d never experienced. He wanted to be able to devote every cell in his body to this man, love and adore him as no other could do, and… he wanted it all returning.

Too much to ask? Jacob smiled to himself. He knew the answer already, and it didn’t please him one bit.

Bailey stirred beside him and Jacob shifted his attention back to him, wanting to make sure he was okay before he prepared to leave. He had an early start the next morning, and he needed his own bed.

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