Domination & Submission: The BDSM Relationship Handbook (30 page)

For most caning aficionados, the
sweet spot -
or target to which cane strokes are delivered for best effect - is the lower
half of the buttocks.  Canes strokes can, however, be targeted at just
about any non-bony part of the body, save the face and genitals.  Common
targets include the backs of the thighs and calves, the fleshy part of the back
or shoulders, palms of the hands, and the soles of the
feet.    
 
      

The safe use of canes can be summed up pretty well
in a single sentence:  It’s a long, slender, pointy stick that is a lot of
fun to swing around, could easily poke an eye out, and is perfectly capable of
turning human skin into something resembling
raw hamburger.
  And,
as always, you should exercise caution in the event that a caning results in
open wounds or bleeding.

Evil Sticks & Evil Wands

Evil sticks
and
evil wands
are two relatively fresh types of BDSM toys made possible
by new technology and materials.  An evil stick is essentially a
tiny
cane
, usually measuring between 8” and 16”, and made from an ultra-strong
carbon fiber composite.  The way it is used is to hold the handle firmly
in one hand while flexing the tip back with the other and releasing it to
strike the subject’s skin.  The high tensile strength of the carbon fiber
rod produces an excruciatingly painful strike that invariably leaves a distinct
mark.  Depending on the force of the strike and the location on the body,
the mark can last anywhere from a few hours to
three weeks. 
As a
result, evil sticks can be purchased in a variety of styles, some of which
feature beads or custom shapes at the business end of the stick designed to
leave simple designs imprinted on the skin.  Masochists may love the
pain-infliction
capabilities of the evil stick, but its ability to imprint a
BDSM badge of
honor
on the skin makes it extremely popular even with non-masochists, as
well.  Evil sticks can typically be purchased from specialty BDSM
retailers for $15 to $40.

Evil wands are basically identical to evil sticks,
except
longer.
  They typically range in length from 14” to 20” and, as a
result, are much more
flexible
.  Just as an evil stick is
essentially a
tiny cane
, the evil wand is basically a
tiny crop or
mini single-tail whip
which makes a very intimidating sound as it is swung,
and leaves beautiful red stripes wherever it lands
.
  Evil wands are
less common and finding retailers that carry them can be difficult, but when
you do, they usually range in price from $20 to $50.

Even though evil sticks and wands are really just
high-tech miniature versions of canes and whips, their size and versatility can
make them the perfect
pocket impact toy
.  There are even versions
available that can be disguised as innocuous household objects or items that
can be worn in public, such as hair accessories.  An evil stick can be
used in tight spaces where you might not have the space to throw a whip or
swing a cane or crop, and its pinpoint accuracy and small impact zone make it
ideal for parts of the body that you wouldn’t
dream
of targeting safely
with anything else.

More often than not, an evil stick is used for a
single impact against the skin, either to demonstrate its
pure evilness
,
or to literally
make an impression
on someone.  When used in this
fashion, and as long as the impact is targeted to a fleshy part of the body,
there should be very few safety concerns.  On the other hand, even a
single strike targeting a joint or bony protrusion such as a wrist bone
could
ruin someone’s entire week.  Of even greater concern would be the
temptation to use an evil stick or wand repeatedly or perhaps even
continuously
on the same part of the body.  As is also the case with other types of
impact play, the effects of your strikes upon a person’s skin may not be
evident right away.  If you are engaging in impact play with someone for
the
first time
, it is usually a good idea to test the skin’s resilience
and tolerance for this type of play by limiting the number and intensity of
your strikes until you have a better feel for
how much may be too much
for that individual. 

Any BDSM activity involving needles, pins, nails or
hooks which pierce the skin requires meticulous care to prevent serious
infections or the spread of communicable diseases.  Even so, as long as it
is done by a trained, experienced person who observes proper
sanitation
protocols,
it doesn’t have to be
dangerous. 
 

Needles

BDSM needle play can take many forms, most of which
it involve piercing the skin with hypodermic or acupuncture needles. 
Strictly speaking, needles aren’t inherently
painful
by themselves, but
the obvious and often palpable
psychological effects
of needle play can
make it interesting
indeed.
  Some people have reported
endorphin
highs
and even
orgasms
from needle play, but how much of that is
physical,
versus
psychological
, is debatable.   

The most common forms of needle play usually consist
of placing acupuncture needles into various fleshy parts of the body to induce
or reduce fear, create aesthetically pleasing patterns or designs, stimulate
the nervous system, cause or reduce pain, and for other therapeutic
reasons.  Acupuncture needles may be inserted into the flesh
perpendicular
to the skin or at a
secant
, where the needle is pushed through a fold of
skin in such a way that the tip emerges again, leaving only the center part of
the needle shaft below the skin.  This aesthetic mode of needle play has
recently become quite popular as a way to anchor
decorative corset lacing
to a person’s back or chest. 

Hypodermic needles are also used in BDSM needle
play, though less often than acupuncture needles, for fairly obvious
reasons.  Hypodermic needles are
hollow
, and designed to inject or
sample fluids from the body; that means the needle has to be
thicker
and
will usually produce a slightly more painful poke.   Some studies
have shown that roughly 10% of the population suffers from
trypanophobia
,
which is the fear of hypodermic needles.  Whether that statistic holds up
in the
kink
population is anyone’s guess, but the most common form of
fetish-related hypodermic needle play occurs in BDSM
medical role-play
scenes.

Both acupuncture and hypodermic needles can be
purchased from any local or online medical supply retailer.  Hypodermic
needles are typically sold separately from the syringe portion, and range in
size from 6 to 32 gauge.  The higher the gauge, the smaller the diameter
of the needle will be.  For intradermal injections, use a 26 to 28 gauge
needle that is 3/8” to 3/4” in length.  For intramuscular use, a 26 to 30
gauge needle 7/8” to 1-1/2” long is appropriate.  For subcutaneous
injections, use a 19 to 27 gauge needle ½” to 5/8” long.  A box of 100
hypodermic needles without the syringes will typically cost $20 to $30 at a
medical supply store.

Acupuncture needles are constructed very differently
from hypodermic needles.  Since they aren’t hollow, they can be made much,
much
thinner.
  They also typically have either a thicker end or
thin plastic handle, and sometimes they come with a small knob, loop or bead at
the handle end.  The needles are
extremely
flexible, which is why
many are sold with a coil, tube or sleeve which makes handling and inserting
the needles much easier.   Acupuncture needles usually range from
12mm to 25mm in thickness, and from 1” to 2” in length.  Retailers
typically market them in quantities of 100, 500 or 1000, with an average price
of about $15 for a package of 100. 

Safety, as you may well imagine, is a
big deal
when
it comes to needle play. 

Never
engage in needle
play with someone whose experience and skill level is unknown to you.  Do
not
simply take someone’s word on whether or not they know what they’re
doing.  The best way to judge a Top’s credibility when it comes to needle
play is to observe him at it, and to speak to people who have scened with him
previously.

Needle play should
only
be done with
brand
new, sterile, medical grade needles
, and
never
with sewing
needles or anything else that isn’t specifically designed for this kind of
use.  Never re-use a needle, even on the same person.  Needle tips
degrade significantly with each use which not only make them more painful, but
creates a larger and more ragged wound which increases the chances of an
infection. 

Always dispose of used needles by placing them into
a
hard receptacle
, such as an empty soda bottle, detergent bottle, or
jar.  That way, they won’t
stab
someone who inadvertently grabs or
brushes up against a
trash bag
full of
needles. 
When
possible and practical,
label
the container with the word
“biohazard.”

Before engaging in needle play, always wash your
hands with a strong anti-bacterial soap, and use a fingernail brush to get
under the nails.  Disinfecting the bottom’s skin at the puncture site
won’t accomplish much if you are just going to touch it again with dirty
fingers.  Swab the site with alcohol just prior to play to ensure that
pathogens on the surface of the skin aren’t transported into the bloodstream by
the needle. 

When piercing the skin on a
secant
(where
both ends of the needle are exposed to the air) always swab the exposed end of
the needle with alcohol
again
before removing them.  Otherwise,
when you pull the tip (which has been exposed to the air and possibly to other
materials) through the skin while
removing it
, it can pull pathogens
into the bloodstream.  

After the needles are removed, the puncture site
should be disinfected immediately, and perhaps again in a few hours. 
Needle punctures may not look like wounds, particularly if there is no blood,
but
they are,
and can result in nasty infections if they aren’t properly cared
for.  Despite all of these dire warnings, the truth of the matter is, you
probably have more to worry about - at least, in terms of
infection
-
from being scratched by your family pet.

When engaging in needle play with someone for the
first time, you should always ask if the person has (or has
ever
had)
hemophilia, thrombus, blood clots, a stroke or heart condition, and whether
they are taking prescription blood thinners or have taken any aspirin within
the past five days.  For individuals who fall into those categories, even
a tiny needle prick can be a problem.  Someone who is prone to blood clots
should
not
engage in needle play, which could result in clots forming in
the blood stream or a reduction of capillary blood flow to some areas. 
Additionally, people with certain types of heart conditions can be very
susceptible to
infections of the heart
, and often have to take
antibiotics
before any procedure that might introduce pathogens into their blood stream -
even a visit to the dentist for a
teeth cleaning.
  Needless to say,
if a
teeth cleaning
can pose a potential hazard to someone with a heart
condition, it’s a pretty safe bet that being poked with dozens of
needles
probably will,
too.

Take care to avoid bony areas such as joints,
sternum, hands, wrists, feet or the spine.  Stay away from nerve clusters,
sensitive organs, and major blood vessels.  Obviously, you should always
steer clear of the
eyes,
or for that matter, the face in general. 
Certain parts of a person’s genitalia and nipples
can
be pierced in
nipple play, but it will usually be
exceedingly painful,
and should be
approached with
extreme caution
due to the high density of blood vessels
and organs susceptible to damage in those areas.

Needle play, when done
properly
by an
experienced and knowledgeable Top using the right equipment in sanitary
conditions, is a
relatively safe activity.
  Anything that
doesn’t
meet those standards
isn’t.
  

Nails, Pins & Staples

One of the first things a person learns in the
fetish lifestyle is that there are always people who enjoy pushing the limits,
not only of their own pain endurance or social norms,
but of good sense.
 
Perhaps
some
of that is the legitimate result of a person truly wanting
to explore the boundaries of his or her own fear, strengths, capabilities and
senses.  Other times, unfortunately, it can be the result of someone who
views the fetish culture as
competition to be won.
  For
those
individuals, it isn’t about relationships, sexual turn-ons, or even
having
kinky fun.
  It’s all about
scoring points and one-upsmanship. 
This is
not
a healthy approach to the BDSM lifestyle.

I believe that BDSM piercing play that involves
common hardware such as nails, pins and staples should be
highly
discouraged. 
It may be tempting for some people to view it as just
another form of
edge-play
, but I believe it is an extremely dangerous
activity -
particularly for novices
- and only serves to perpetuate and
enflame the gross misconceptions among the general public about what goes on in
the fetish lifestyle.  It’s relatively simple to find extreme S&M
photography online that depicts this sort of play in an erotic way, but what
you
never
see is the massive infections, gangrenous body parts, or
massive medical bills that followed. 

Each safety concern that we discussed in the needle
play section applies
ten-fold
to nails, pins and staples.  While
needle play
could potentially
lead to infection, it’s almost
certain
that
the use of common nails, pins and staples
will
lead to serious and
perhaps even life-threatening infections.  As if that weren’t enough, this
kind of play can also cause tissue scarring, nerve damage, loss of sensation or
motor control, and even blood poisoning.  Trust me; it simply isn’t worth
losing a body part, your health or potentially even your life to score points
in a non-existent game of masochistic one-upsmanship that you
can’t win.

Pinwheels

The Wartenburg neurological pinwheel (also sometimes
called a
neurowheel
) was originally designed to be used by medical
professionals to test a person’s sensitivity to pinpricks.  It is a
handheld instrument about eight inches in length, consisting of a simple
slender handle and a small pinwheel of sharp spikes at the end.  
Pinwheels are typically constructed of stainless steel, but there are also
disposable plastic versions available on the market.  They are used in a
lot of different ways, but primarily to cause the sensation of being pricked or
to induce a feeling of apprehension or fear, particularly in people who are
apprehensive about needles and similar devices.  They are readily
available from online retailers for $5 to $10.

These devices have been around for a long time and
have always been very popular with the BDSM crowd, but have fallen out of favor
due to their tendency to break the skin.  Many readers may not be old
enough to remember that there was ever a time when
HIV/AIDS
did not
exist and therefore wasn’t a concern, but the advent of the
age of AIDS
in the ‘80s and ‘90s literally
changed everything
, when it came to
BDSM.   Even so, pinwheels are still a relatively common and popular
item in the BDSM lifestyle, and are generally safe as long as they are
fluid-bonded
to specific individuals, or thoroughly
sterilized
between uses. 
Fluid-bonding is the preferred option, since it’s always difficult to know for
certain whether an instrument has been properly sterilized, and especially
considering their low cost. 

Cell Popping and Branding Gear

Cell popping
is a form of micro-branding that typically utilizes a very hot, thin metal rod
or needle to burn a series of tiny dots into the skin to achieve a temporary
design, which can often last several weeks.  The designs can be quite
intricate, and often involve the application of hundreds, or even thousands, of
tiny burns which,
theoretically
, are confined each to a single skin pore
or epidermal cell which can
sizzle and pop
while the hot metal is
applied for about one second -
hence the name.
  Since the artist
has only two colors to work with -
burned and unburned
- designs
requiring areas of darker shading will usually involve a denser dot-matrix to
achieve the illusion of shading or coloration.   

The equipment needed for cell popping is relatively
simple, and readily available from your local hardware store.  It
typically includes a propane torch nozzle, propane canisters, a sturdy torch
holder of the sort used by jewelers and crafters, a small rack or stand
designed to hold your needles when not in use, and the thin metal rods or
needles that will be used to mark the skin.  Most people prefer to use the
long, straight
teasing needles
that come as part of a medical dissection
kit, and to have two or three available, so one can be heating while the other
is being used.  Some folks use canned
sterno
or chafing dish fuel
as an inexpensive alternative to a propane torch.