Destiny's Wish (2 page)

The next morning, Brian sat behind the desk in his office, still questioning why he had gotten involved. His sister-in-law would say he had a soft spot for women who needed help. If that was the case, this was one woman he should have run away from. Not only was she trying to deal with her daughter’s cancer, but she was still grieving for her husband. The one thing she didn’t need was him trying to make amends to her dead husband’s memory.

He’d meant to read over Destiny’s file last night, but an emergency had called him back to the hospital before he got a chance. Now there were patients that needed his care, but he wanted to pull the file out and see exactly what the little girl was up against. It might have been against his better judgment, but he was going to stay involved to make sure everything that could be done for her was being done. He’d let Jim down once; he’d be damned if he’d let him down again.

“Doctor West, do you have a moment?”

He glanced up to find Nancy standing in the doorway. It was somewhat surprising since she wasn’t a nurse on his floor. While they had known each other for years, their usual socializing happened outside of the hospital. “Sure, come in.” He nodded to the chair across from his desk.

“I wanted to speak with you about Mrs. Norton.” She took a seat in front of him. “She’s extremely fragile right now and—”

“Nancy, if you are implying I’m trying to take advantage of a situation…”

“No, absolutely not. Actually, I came here to convince you to help her. You said you’re an old friend, then be there for her. She has no one, no family, and no friends here. She’s living out of a motel when she leaves the hospital.”

“A motel?” He was appalled. “Kingsley won’t discharge Destiny unless she has somewhere safe and clean to go to.”

“Her house is on the market and she left everything behind to bring Destiny here. She claims she’s looking for a place so she can have somewhere nearby for when the child is released, but she rarely leaves the hospital. Talk to her, explain what she needs to do.” Nancy leaned forward. “I don’t know what I expect you to do. We’ve all tried, but she just says she wants to be with her daughter. As you’ve seen today, she’s not eating. I don’t know when she actually slept more than a few winks in that chair next to Destiny.”

“I’ll talk to her.” Ideas rushed through his mind as he considered how he might help her.

“Just one last thing.” She smirked at him. “Doctor Jacobson isn’t very happy you’ve gone over his head and gotten Doctor Mathews to take over Destiny’s care. He’s been very vocal that he doesn’t appreciate you pulling family strings to get specialized care for her.”

“He knows where to find me if he wishes to voice his disagreement. I won’t apologize for helping a friend, or for allowing Nora to explore all the options open to her.”

Nancy stood but didn’t move away from the desk. “It might be none of my business but I have to ask. How well do you know her?”

“Well enough that I’d go to bat for her.” He leaned forward, placing his hands on his desk. “Her late husband and I were best friends. He’s not here to look after them, to make sure Destiny gets the best care she can, but I am. I’ll do right by him and his family.”
Unlike the last time.
The guilt turned his stomach until his chest tightened with regret.

“Brian, we need to talk.” Kingsley stood in the doorway.

“Seems like I’ve installed a rotating door to my office.” He shook his head. “Come in.”

“I was just leaving.” Nancy rose, then turned back to Brian. “Thank you. I hope you can help her.”

With Nancy gone, he turned his attention to Kingsley. “What can I do for you?”

“Have you looked over the Horton file?” He took the chair Nancy had vacated, stretching his long legs out in front of him.

“Not yet. I had a few things to attend to once I left Nora with you, and just when I was about to, Nancy stopped by. Why?”

“Her cancer is aggressive, but I think she could be a candidate for the study that’s about to start. I’ve spoken to Mrs. Norton about it, but she has some reservations. I’ve sent you all the information on the study. Look over it and please talk to her. The trial begins on Monday and she’ll need to go through the pre-testing.”

“Does it give her a better success rate than the treatment Jacobson was suggesting?”

Kingsley brought his ankle up to rest on his other knee. “For Destiny’s condition I believe it does, but more importantly it isn’t radiation. Reading over her chart, you’ll see what a hard time the child had the first time they did radiation. I believe she’s had one of the worst cases of radiation sickness I’ve seen, but the worst part was the radiation burns she suffered. She was two when she went through it the first time, which made things harder for Nora.”

“I’m done for the day, so I’ll read over everything and then go down and talk to her.” He rubbed the bridge of his nose and tried not to think of the turmoil Nora was going through. “I was heading down there in a bit anyway. That’s why Nancy was here, she wants me to convince Nora she needs to find an apartment.”

“Good, because I can’t sign off on a release until she’s living somewhere suitable. This experiment might not be as bad as radiation, but Destiny’s immune system will still be compromised more than it is already. A motel is no place for a sick child.”

“I think Nora understands that, but she’s wanted to be close to the hospital. I think if she knew her daughter might be released, she’d be more willing to find something. She wants to get her daughter home and healthy.” Brian hoped he wasn’t going out on a limb by saying that.

“She was admitted because of her breathing, but that has improved. If she has suitable living conditions, the child could be discharged. It should be somewhere close if possible, since she’ll have to be here almost daily for treatments. Unless her condition deteriorates, there’s no need for her to be hospitalized.”

“I’ll see to it that she has a place by the end of the week.” He swallowed, knowing he might have just bitten off more than he could chew. It had been years since he had to find an apartment, so he had no idea how difficult it might be.

“Well, if you convince her to do the study we can have the tests done tomorrow and she’ll have a few days with her daughter before things begin. I’m sure Destiny could use some time with her mom, without being in the hospital. They can try to forget about this place for a few days.” Kingsley rose from the chair. “You’ve got my number if she has any more questions about the study that you can’t answer.”

“If she decides not to do it, what course of treatment are you recommending?” Brian asked before Kingsley could leave.

“The same thing Jacobson recommended. Radiation is the best treatment, and the chemotherapy on top of it should hopefully ensure the cancer cells do not return. So for Destiny’s sake it would be best to do the study. I can’t make any guarantees on how she will handle the treatment but from the cases I’ve seen so far, I believe it would be better for her. Convince her, it’s in the girl’s best interest.” With that, Kingsley strolled from the office, leaving Brian alone with his thoughts.

He wasn’t sure how he was going to convince Nora that the experimental treatment was the best option, but in order to do that he needed to familiarize himself with her condition, and the treatments. Then he’d go to her with the facts. She wanted what was best for Destiny and so did he. He didn’t even want to think about the fact she still needed a place to live. One problem at a time.

Whatever he had to do, he’d do because they needed him.

Nora pulled her legs up onto the chair and stared down at her sleeping daughter. She had no idea what she was going to do about this experimental treatment option. Was it worth it, considering it was questionable? Or would they be back to doing the chemotherapy and radiation combination in a few months? Would the cancer be worse then? All the questions circled her thoughts, but no answers emerged from the fog.

“Oh, Jim, I wish you were here with us.” She wrapped her hand around the necklace, his ring warm from the touch of her skin, and she was unable to hold back the tears. She hugged her legs and wept. One good cry and then she’d shove the pieces of herself back into something presentable, even if that meant she’d have to use tape to hold it together.

“Nora.” A voice whispered from behind her.

She turned to find Brian standing in the doorway, his white lab coat gone. With the back of her hand, she wiped away the tears. “Come in. I figured you’d have gone home hours ago.”

“I was in my office going over her file. Why don’t we grab some coffee and talk? That way we won’t disturb her.”

She glanced at her daughter. “I shouldn’t leave her.”

“We’ll just be down the hall in the staff lounge and you can see her room from there. We’ll get some coffee and talk.” When she still didn’t move, he stepped closer. “I want to talk to you about the treatment options.”

“I’ve already heard all about them from Doctor Mathews and Jacobson.”

“You might have, and maybe I’m wrong, but I think you’d like to know what I would recommend. If I’m wrong, stay here with Destiny, but if you want to know what I’d recommend I’ll be in the lounge. End of the hall, the door will be open.” Without another word, he turned on his heels and left.

She sat there for a moment, stunned. She wanted to know what he thought was best because right now she was so torn, but the way he’d brushed her off stung. Instead of just sitting there, she stood, pulling the blanket up around her daughter. When Destiny didn’t stir, she stepped closer to the door and with one last deep breath she left the room. She’d find out what he thought and then get back to her daughter before she even woke up.

Many of the rooms were already dark. Some parents camped out by the bedsides of their children, while other kids were alone. She couldn’t help but feel sorry for the children who were by themselves, surrounded by all the scary aspects of medical technology. At least the nurses on this floor were some of the best she had met. They were kind, caring, and always there to help soothe a child.

“I see you decided to join me.” Brian stood in the doorway, two mugs of coffee in his hands.

“Do you have a thing about doorways?” He raised an eyebrow at her and she smirked. “Seems like this is the third time I’ve seen you hovering in a doorway in the last several hours.”

“To be around you, I’d hover in every doorway.” He held out a mug to her.

Her heart skipped a beat at his statement. She wasn’t sure if it was loneliness that make her think he was flirting with her, or if he really was. Either way it was like a direct line to send her heart fluttering. She swallowed and forced her heartbeat to calm. She was a mother with a very sick child; there was no time for flirting or anything else in her future. Destiny had to be her only priority.

“Come sit down.” He motioned to the table just inside. It had a clear view back to Destiny’s room. “Since you’re here, I’m assuming you want to know what I’d recommend.”

“Or maybe I came to tell you to leave us alone.” She clung to the mug, soaking up the warmth.

“You were always feisty but I don’t think you’d do that. Not now.”

“Why, because I’m alone?” She set down the mug and leaned closer. “I’ve been alone most of my life and it’s never stopped me before. Plus, I’m not alone, I’ve got Destiny and she’s all that really matters.”

“If you’d have given me a chance to answer, I would have said no. I think you want to know what I’d recommend because you’re scared you’re going to make the wrong decision.” He held up a hand before she could interrupt. “There’s no reason to deny it. Every parent feels just what you’re going through right now. They’re overwhelmed, terrified, and trying to keep it together for the sake of their child.”

She took a sip of the coffee before she finally nodded. “Then what do you think I should do?”

“I’ve spent the last few hours gathering all the facts so I could come here and give you what I know. Now that I’m sitting here, I don’t think that’s enough. I think you need more than that. So, I’ll tell you that I think it’s Destiny’s best option and that if it was my daughter in that bed I’d do it.”

“You’d do it even though the risks aren’t completely known? They can’t be sure it will be beneficial.”

“That’s the one thing about medicine, you never know completely. What works for one patient might not work for the next. Don’t think that just because I’m a doctor and actually understand the mumbo-jumbo that’s in the documents that I have all the answers.” He reached across the table and laid his hand over hers. “It’s a way to avoid the radiation that she had such a hard time with last time. One that has a good chance of helping her.”

“A good chance! Why can’t anyone give me a guarantee that this will cure her?” She took deep breaths, trying to calm herself. “This isn’t fair, she hasn’t even began to live her life and now she’s got to fight to live again. Last time was hard enough but now it seems like it’s back with a vengeance. What did we do to deserve this?”

“It’s not something you’ve done. Cancer is an awful thing, but it’s not a punishment for a wrong you’ve committed in the past. I don’t know why it picks some and not others, or why it comes back when others get to stay in remission the rest of their lives.”

They spent the next twenty minutes going over all of the questions she had, but in the end he still couldn’t give her the guarantee she wanted. It was a risk, one that she had to take. She’d have to sign off on the documents allowing it. It was her decision and no one else could make it. If things went disastrous, it would be her fault in the end. She just had to hope this experimental treatment was better than what they went through with the radiation.

She bit the bullet and nodded. “Okay, I’ll sign the papers.”

“Good.” He stood and refilled their coffee mugs. “Now for the other thing I wanted to discuss with you.”

“If it’s another decision about her care, I’m not sure I can handle it tonight.” She brought her hand to her mouth as she tried to stifle a yawn.

“Actually, it’s about your living arrangements.”

“I keep telling everyone things are fine.”

He took his seat across from her and shook his head. “Things aren’t fine, you’re living in a motel.”

“It’s what I’ve found and it’s close. I don’t need an apartment when I’m always here.”

“I know Nancy explained to you that you need something if you want Destiny to be discharged. Have you been looking?”

She leaned back against the hard chair and let out a light laugh. “With what free time? I’m by her bedside night and day. There’s no one else. I don’t have time to go out and look for an apartment, especially when it’s not like they will discharge her anytime soon.”

“I have it on good authority that she could be discharged as early as tomorrow afternoon if you had somewhere to go. It would give you a few days with her without being surrounded by all the medical reminders of what lies ahead.”

She scooted her chair back and stood. “Why tell me this now? It’s too late to find somewhere tonight. You said she will have tests done tomorrow which means I can’t leave either. Why give me hope only to have it dashed?”

“I can’t believe you haven’t been looking for something. You had to realize she’d be discharged at some point.”

She took hold of the back of the chair, not sure if she was angrier at him for dropping this on her now or at herself for not considering the future. “It was so bad last time that she was in the hospital almost her entire treatment. I guess I figured it would be the same this time. Why find an apartment when she wouldn’t get to come home with me? It wouldn’t be a home without her. The motel was just a place to keep our stuff, because her hospital room has felt more like home than the room there.”

They sat for a moment, silence thick around them. “What am I going to do? It’s not like apartments are easy to find in this area, especially not close to the hospital.”

“Come home with me.”

She tipped her heard toward him, unable to believe what she’d just heard. “Excuse me?”

“I’ve got a house a few miles outside of the city and there’s plenty of room for the two of you. It will give you a place to stay while you’re looking for an apartment. That way Destiny can be discharged and you can spend some time with her until the treatments begin. Do something fun and try to forget what Monday brings.”

“I can’t…”

He shook his head. “Don’t say you can’t. You don’t want to, maybe, but it isn’t that you can’t.”

“I was going to say I couldn’t impose on you.”

He polished off the last of his coffee and stood to put the mug in the dishwasher. “It’s the least I can do, we’re friends. This way after the tests are done tomorrow, she can be discharged. Otherwise she might not get to feel the cool air on her face while she can still enjoy it. You said it yourself earlier…since the treatments haven’t begun yet, she’s doing okay. Neither of us know what she’ll feel like once they begin, so why not get her out of here for a bit? Let her be a kid, even if it’s only for a short period.”

“This is your home we’re talking about. You don’t just invite people to move in.” She ran a head over her face. As much as she wanted to accept the offer so she could get a good night’s sleep in a bed, and take a hot bath, she felt guilty.

“Why? It’s not like you’re a stranger.” He leaned against the small kitchenette counter. “The house is plenty big enough that you don’t have to see me if you don’t want to. Plus, I’m here more than I’m home. You’ll only have to worry about Greta.”

“Your wife?” She glanced down at his hand, but didn’t see a ring.

“No.” He let out a light laugh that caressed across her skin. “She’s the housekeeper. She kind of came with the house, and trust me she’d love to have others around. Someone to take care of.”

“I thought that type of thing had been done away with long ago.”

“I purchased the house from another doctor here at the hospital. It was a house I knew I wanted when I first walked in. I was there for a Christmas party and I told him if he ever wanted to sell it, to let me know. I guess it was about two years later, he was retiring, and moving to Hawaii with his wife. It’s where his son was stationed with the Navy and they just loved it there. Anyway, I bought the house on the condition I’d keep Greta on. She had been raised in the house. Her mother was the housekeeper there, and then Greta took over. It seemed wrong to push her out the house, so I agreed. Just being me, I don’t have much use for a housekeeper, but it works out nicely for both of us.”

“She can’t be happy not having much to do. I mean, if you’re never there, how much can you mess it up? With your long hours, there’d be limited cooking for you.” She realized she was rambling. “Guess I never pictured you with household staff.”

“Not staff, just Greta, and I don’t consider her staff. She’s family, at least she’s become family. So, what do you say, will you come stay with us?”

The way he leaned against the counter, smirking at her so full of confidence, made her want to go to him. The way his dark hair fell just above his eyes made her wanted to push it away. It had been so long since she had any urges like this. She wasn’t sure how to handle them.
Focus.
She tried to listen to her own advice, but it was like the woman in her was coming alive again after all these years and was demanding to be set free.