Dark Wolf: 1 (Spirit Wild) (22 page)

“You’ll have to show me which ones.”
“That’s the odd thing.” Alex’s teeth glinted in the darkness. “If you’re Chanku, you’ll recognize them. It’s like our bodies are geared to know what they are and how much we need to get the full benefit.”
“I’ll have to remember that.” All this talk of grasses, and yet Sebastian wasn’t thinking of them at all. He was thinking of Alex close beside him, the way his bare chest was so finely cut, his sharply defined muscles a pattern of dark and light.
He’d never been so aware of a man before.
So aware, or so curious. And for some reason, the fact that Lily loved this man, that she and Alex had made love throughout their lives, made Alex even more attractive to him.
He stared at the empty wineglass in his hand.
“More?” Alex held the bottle.
Sebastian shook his head. “No. I don’t think so. I’ve had two glasses; not enough to feel it.” He raised his head and stared into Alex’s amber eyes. “I know what you and I are going to do, and I don’t want to blame it on the wine. I don’t want to dull the experience.” He glanced away, embarrassed.
“Look at me, Sebastian.”
He slowly turned at Alex’s soft command. “Why?”
“Because you’re a pretty amazing guy. I don’t want you to think you can’t look me in the eye. You’re too good a man to look away. It’s a wolf thing.”
“Shit, Alex. How can you say that? My father may be a murderer, he may be trying to use me to get at your people. How can you stand to be near me?”
“You’re obviously not your father. Damn it, Sebastian, even in the very short time I’ve known you, I can tell that. You know nothing of our kind beyond what you’ve learned from Lily. Only what the media says and what you’ve heard from your father, who is obviously a bigot. You don’t know if you’re one of us or not, but you’ve already aligned yourself with the pack. You put yourself in danger to protect the pack. That takes courage. I admire courage. It’s a rare quality in this day and age. Besides, for all you know, we’re your people, too.”
“What am I, Alex? Am I Chanku? Am I one of you, or just a half-baked mage who’s at risk of being seduced by dark magic? Believe me, the lure of dark power is strong. I see my father do things, and I absolutely lust for that kind of power. What if I can’t fight it? What if it takes me?”
“It won’t.”
“How do you know?”
Alex smiled and put his hands on Sebastian’s shoulders. “Because Lily and I won’t let it. We’ve got your back, Sebastian. I think you’re one of us. Even if you’re not, you’re definitely worth saving.”
His throat clogged with tears, and it was hard to catch his breath. “How can you say that?”
Alex grabbed Sebastian’s hand and pressed his palm against his own chest, just over his heart. Sebastian’s fingers spread out over Alex’s hot skin, absorbing the feel of him, the solid beat of his heart and the soft tickle from the dusting of dark hair sliding between his fingers.
He didn’t breathe. He wasn’t even certain he could, but Alex held his hand there, tight up against warm, male flesh, and he gazed steadily into Sebastian’s eyes. “Because I feel you here, Sebastian. Inside, where it counts. Because Lily loves you, and she could never love any man less than her father. Just keep taking the capsules. Trust me. The man I see in you is every bit Anton Cheval’s equal.”
13
T
he night was perfectly still, the air cool but not yet cold. Not a breath of air, not a sound. No owls or frogs, bats, or even the ever present coyotes. Even the crickets seemed to have toned down their clamor—either that, or he was so totally caught up in the spell that was Alex Aragat, nothing else registered.
Sebastian curled his fingers against Alex’s chest and struggled for control, but there was none to be found. He struggled to breathe, and it felt as if huge, jagged splinters tore at his lungs. Something clogged his throat and burned his sinuses, and unexpected tears rolled silently from beneath closed eyelids. The first ragged sob tore out of his chest, a sound so alien to him, he wasn’t certain at first what it was.
It was followed by another, and yet another, and then Alex pulled Sebastian close and wrapped strong, loving arms around him. That offer of comfort, that freely given masculine strength was all it took. Sebastian gave in to the overwhelming rush of pain and grief, to the demons battering at his soul.
He’d not cried for as long as he could remember. Not when his mother died, not even on the dark day he’d buried her in that small cemetery on the outskirts of Hannibal, Missouri, but he cried now as a lifetime of grief overfilled his heart and soul.
He cried, and it was ugly and embarrassing because he had no control over these foreign emotions. How did a guy deal with something he didn’t understand? But he remembered standing there at his mother’s grave, realizing he was totally alone, knowing he would search for the father his mother had risked everything to be free of. Determination had kept his tears away.
She hadn’t understood how much he’d hoped to find family, a place where he might finally belong. He should have listened to her. Should never have gone looking for a man without a soul.
Without an aura.
Now Alex’s words, Anton Cheval’s acceptance, Lily’s love. This was the family he’d always wanted. This was what called to him, what he’d yearned for.
What he wanted more than anything he’d ever wanted before. Wanted, but couldn’t have. He wasn’t worthy and he didn’t deserve it. He was the son of a killer. His father’s blood ran in his veins. His father’s magic was his magic. He could never be what Lily needed, what Anton wanted. What Alex thought he was. His failure poured out of him, bathing him in horrible, unendurable grief. There was no end to it and he couldn’t stop himself.
Then Alex whispered something. Words of comfort, soft, meaningless words that somehow did it for him. Comforted him, helped him find the balance and the strength to slowly pull himself together without feeling like a fool.
He was almost forty years old—a man grown, and yet his emotions had left him feeling like a lost boy, totally wiped out. When Alex stood, grabbed his hand, and tugged, Sebastian didn’t question him. He merely followed blindly, clutching Alex’s hand as if it were his lifeline. He stumbled on the bottom step to the cottage, grabbed the railing for support, and wondered how they’d gotten here so quickly.
The kitchen first, where Alex handed him a clean, damp towel so he could wipe his face and regain at least a bit of composure. Then Alex led him to the bedroom and pulled back the covers as if Sebastian were still a child, and like a child, he took off his cotton shorts and crawled into the big bed without a word.
Lily rolled over, and he sensed her concern, but she made room for him without saying a word. He lay down beside her, inhaling her scent, breathing in the sense of peace he felt when she was near.
Sebastian figured Alex would get into bed on Lily’s other side, but he scooted in close behind Sebastian and threw an arm over him, holding him close, breathing deeply, slowly. Lily snuggled against his chest. Alex had his back.
So many emotions, pouring through him, almost strangling him until he felt Lily relax in sleep, until Alex ran his hand gently over Sebastian’s hip and across his groin before finally wrapping his fingers around his flaccid cock.
He stayed soft, too enervated from all the emotion to feel any arousal, no matter how arousing the touch. He felt Alex rise against him, the gentle pressure of his semierect penis settling into the valley between Sebastian’s buttocks. Vaguely, as if he thought of himself from afar, he wondered what was coming next.
But nothing happened. Alex merely turned a bit as if finding a more comfortable position. His fingers stayed where they were, holding Sebastian in a gentle caress. Sebastian thought about the way Alex’s hand felt holding his cock and decided it felt right. Lily’s breath tickled his chest, and he seemed to have his tears under control.
It was all good, for now. That’s all that mattered, and it was the last thing he knew before drifting off to sleep.
Sebastian came out of a deep, sound sleep as Alex crawled quietly out of bed and headed down the hall in the direction of the bathroom. Lily snuggled against his chest, all warm woman and tangled hair, but he was awake now and nature called.
Still drowsy and dopey with sleep, Sebastian finally extricated himself from Lily’s arms and headed for the bathroom. He passed Alex going back to bed and grunted as they stumbled past one another. Alex was still half asleep and didn’t reply.
It didn’t really matter. What mattered was the sense of contentment, the knowledge he wasn’t alone. Whether he and Alex ever had sex or not wasn’t what counted. What counted was the fact that Alex had been there for him when he’d needed a friend.
He’d never had a friend he could count on. Not one who would hold him when he needed holding, tease him when he needed to laugh. It was early—still dark out—and his mind wasn’t all that clear, but the sense he was no longer alone filled his heart and mind with peace unlike anything he’d ever known.
When Sebastian got back to the bed, Alex was lying next to Lily and had her tucked close against his chest, probably the way they’d spent a lot of their nights. He was already asleep.
Sebastian crawled in behind Alex. It was cold this early in the morning, and Alex was warm. Sebastian snuggled up close behind him, wrapped an arm around Alex’s waist, and drifted, not quite awake, not really asleep.
His thoughts drifted as well, and he thought of how he’d fallen apart the night before, how Alex hadn’t said a word but had just let him get it out. He’d figured he’d wake up with at least a headache, but he actually felt pretty good, considering.
That was something a lot of friends might not have done for a guy. So what did that make Alex? He’d have to think about that.
He stroked Alex’s flank, running his hands along his muscular thigh, down his leg. Arousal was more a simmering heat than full blown desire, though he had to admit it was pretty arousing to be pressed up against Alex’s back with his cock riding in the crease between his buttocks.
Just the way Alex had been when he’d drifted off last night. Sebastian’s hand brushed against what had to be morning wood, but it was right there, practically begging for attention, so he wrapped his fingers around the thick, hot length and slowly stroked Alex from base to tip and back again.
Alex moaned, a soft, sleepy sound that made Sebastian smile. He kissed his shoulder and then trailed small kisses along the rapidly healing injury that crossed Alex’s neck and shoulders.
He almost stopped when he realized he was kissing a man. Then he thought about it—how it made him feel—and kept kissing.
So amazing. He’d never known any Chanku before Lily, but they were truly fascinating creatures. The healing itself was unreal, but so was that impossible life span. He wondered at the possibilities.
What if Alex was right? If Lily and Anton knew what they were talking about, and he really was Chanku? The question floated away as Alex pressed back against him, against Sebastian’s rigid cock, and he tightened his grip around Alex.
Lube. Top drawer. Table beside the bed.
Obviously Alex was more awake than Sebastian had realized. He thought of what Alex offered. His cock was suddenly hard and goose bumps covered his skin.
You’re sure?
Soft laughter filled Sebastian’s head.
Of course I’m sure. I do this all the time. The question is, are you sure?
Part of me certainly is.
He thrust his hips, pressing harder against Alex’s ass.
Lube. Now.
I really don’t want to let go.
He stroked Alex’s cock. Up, down, and up again to sweep his palm over the broad crown. It was damp, already slick with pre-cum.
I don’t want you to let go, either, but ya gotta do it if you’re gonna do it. You’re sure as hell not getting in without it.
Alex projected laughter, and the sound sort of bounced around inside Sebastian’s head.
He let go and rolled over, found the drawer, slipped it open, and the lube was right where Alex said it would be. He rolled back and covered his fingertips with a thick dollop of gel.
Alex lay on his belly with his face turned toward Lily.
Sebastian shoved the covers down and knelt beside Alex. For a long time he just stared at Alex’s butt and thought about what they were going to do, and the oddest thing was, the longer he stared, the hornier he got. His cock had been hard, but now it was rising up against his belly.
He’d never touched a guy’s butt before, not with the intent of doing more than just a slap on the ass during sports. He rubbed his left hand over the smooth globes, trailing a line from the lower part of Alex’s back to the dimple just above the cleft between his cheeks.
Alex pressed his hips against the bed and groaned. Just a low, soft sound, but one that registered as pure need. Sebastian ran his fingers down the warm cleft, pausing just over his sphincter and rubbing soft little circles around Alex’s puckered anal ring. He tried to visualize shoving his cock in that tiny opening, and decided he’d rather do the shoving than have Alex trying it on him.
The gel had warmed on his fingers, so he parted Alex’s cheeks and wiped it off against his anus. Obviously, there was more to do, though he wasn’t sure. He felt stupid asking, but he figured that any guy who could hold another guy—a perfectly strange other guy—while he cried like a freaking baby, probably wouldn’t mind answering intimate questions.
“What now?” He kept rubbing over that puckered ring, and he could have sworn it felt softer.
Stretch it. One finger, then two, then three. Slow is best. It doesn’t hurt that way.
That made sense. He pressed with one fingertip, and the gel eased his way enough that his finger slipped right through. Alex’s inner muscles tightened around his finger, and the visual of those same muscles around his cock added another level of arousal. He wasn’t sure how deep to press, but since his cock would go in a good eight or nine inches, he pressed all the way to his knuckle.
Alex pushed back, so he added another finger, scissoring them back and forth, stretching the way Alex had told him to. Then a third, and again he felt the tight clench of muscle around his fingers.
His cock jerked and he got even harder, so he slipped his fingers out of Alex and lifted him up on his knees, rubbed more of the gel over the crown of his cock, and pressed against that fluttering little ring, which, of course, had closed right up again.
His hand was still slick from the gel, so he spread what was left along his shaft, lined himself up with his target, and slowly pushed forward.
It wasn’t all that easy, not with Alex’s involuntary tightening, but then Alex took a deep breath, pushed back, and relaxed, and Sebastian watched as the tip of his cock seemed to reshape and squeeze down from the pressure of his thrust against Alex’s butt, until it somehow fit through that little opening.
Fascinated, he watched the way the puckered ring of muscle stretched, gave way, and then tightened and wrapped around his shaft, just behind the crown. He kept pushing and then resting, pushing and resting until he was all the way in.
Alex let out a deep breath as Sebastian sucked one in, and it seemed to work that way as he pushed forward and Alex pressed back, breathing in, breathing out until they’d found a perfect rhythm. So caught up in the logistics of trying something for the first time, Sebastian didn’t really think about the fact he was fucking a guy.
No, that barely entered the equation. He thought more about how fantastic it felt. How unexpected the pleasure. The channel he filled was hot and slick, tighter than a woman’s vagina, but it rippled and pulsed along his cock, clinging as he pressed forward. Besides, this wasn’t just any guy. This was Alex, the man Lily loved, the one who’d said he wanted to get to know Sebastian before they had sex.
He probably hadn’t expected Sebastian to cry all over him, but now as the power of their budding friendship took on an entirely new focus, as Sebastian realized that yes, he did like this, and it wasn’t at all awkward or uncomfortable—though he couldn’t really say much for what Alex was feeling—he began to accept that maybe he did belong with these people.

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