City Lives (38 page)

They thought he had it all. Success. Wealth. Looks. The irony of it was that he had nothing in the end. Love was all that mattered in life.

None of them could figure out why he had committed suicide. Speculation was rife, money problems being the most eagerly discussed. How they would love revelations of a big cash scandal to top it
off.

Let them speculate all they liked. Richard was free of all their pettiness now, Caroline thought, as she looked at the simple teak coffin that she had selected for him.

When the service was over, she sat beside her father and brothers and shook hands with everyone who came to offer their commiserations. It all became a huge blur. The myriad faces and
‘I’m sorry for your troubles’ ebbed and flowed with an air of unreality.

It was at the funeral Mass the following morning that her composure cracked, when the choir began to sing ‘Be Not Afraid’, the opening hymn that she had chosen.

Oh Richard! Richard! Not even a note to say goodbye. After all we’d been through together. I deserved that at least
. She silently reproached him as she buried her face in her
hands and wept. He had been found in his car clutching a photo of Charles. She had put the photo in the coffin with him, on his heart, with his hands crossed.

At least he’d had one great love, she reflected, as she stood silently alone with him for the last time. She had never known the great love of a man. Not the kind of love Luke had for
Devlin. And she had never opened her heart and poured her love onto someone, and that was the great grief of her life. It was ironic that Richard had had that kind of love and she hadn’t.

Her father patted her on the back awkwardly, and for his sake she tried to compose herself. Time enough for tears and self-pity when she was on her own again. She could weep and wail all she
wanted with not a sinner to hear her.

Later, during Holy Communion, the choir sang ‘Here I am Lord’, and she took some measure of comfort from it. She had kept the readings simple. Luke had done the first reading and a
cousin of Richard’s the second. She had asked the priest to keep his sermon short and to dwell on the compassion and mercy of God. Devlin and Richard’s secretary had brought up the
gifts at the offertory. There was no-one else she felt she could ask. She only wanted people who felt some regret at Richard’s passing. And Devlin had been truly upset.

The prayers at the end of the Mass gave her great solace, especially when the priest asked the angels to lead Richard to Paradise. She knew in the heart of her that Richard’s soul was safe
and happy and she tried to hold onto that thought later on in the crematorium, as the red curtains slowly closed behind the coffin as it slid out of sight. She felt some of the tension seep out of
her. Richard’s funeral had passed without incident.

Sarah was still in a coma.

Again people came to pay their condolences, and then it was time to go to the hotel where she had ordered a buffet lunch for the mourners who had filled the church.

‘Look at them stuffing themselves, you’d think they never got a bite. Look at William Casey.’ Devlin nudged Caroline and discreetly pointed to where the rotund barrister, who
earned a fortune at tribunals, was tucking into a mound of food on his plate. ‘I bet he goes up for seconds,’ she whispered.

In spite of herself, Caroline chuckled and grinned at Devlin when William did indeed go up for seconds . . . and thirds.

‘Look at Sophie Harris,’ Maggie murmured, nodding in the direction of the tall, striking businesswoman who was a client of Richard’s. ‘She’s had a
face-lift.’

‘Do you think so?’ whispered Caroline, diverted.

‘Look. There’s not a crow’s-foot in sight and her eyes have that slightly startled look because they’re pulled so tight. And she’s had a boob job. They’re
like Twin Peaks,’ Maggie scoffed. ‘And wearing a mini at her age! She’s worse than Madeline Albright.’

‘Jealousy’ll get you nowhere,’ Devlin teased.

‘Bitch!’ hissed Maggie and the three of them grinned, glad of the light relief to break the awfulness.

That night, when it was all over, Devlin and Caroline sat curled up in the big easy chairs in Devlin’s lounge. Luke had gone to bed.

‘I should go back to the apartment really. I just dread the thought of it.’ Caroline sighed.

‘You know, I don’t think you should ever go back there. You never liked it from the minute you moved in there. It was always Richard’s apartment. Maggie and I will sort out
Richard’s clothes and belongings. We can give his clothes to a charity shop. We’ll file his papers in boxes until you decide what to do with them. If I were you I’d put the
apartment on the market next week and close that chapter of your life.’

‘It’s like running away,’ Caroline said.

‘No it’s not. It’s moving on. And now you can do it freely with nothing to hold you back,’ Devlin argued.

‘I don’t know if I’m up to looking for a place yet. I don’t know where to turn, really,’ Caroline confessed.

‘Well, I know exactly where you’re going, Caroline,’ Devlin said firmly. ‘You, my dear, are getting out of town. You are going to nurse Galway through the Ciara Hanlon
débâcle. You are going to move lock, stock, and barrel, office, paper-clips, everything, to Galway until it’s ready to open and then you’ll have had some breathing space to
decide what to do with yourself.’

Caroline stared at her.

‘Am I being bossy?’ Devlin made a face.

Caroline smiled. ‘No. You’re being the best friend anyone could have.’

‘What do you think? We need someone really good in Galway. Morale is going to be crap. But only if you want to go, Caroline. It just came to me last night in a flash. I thought a complete
break from Dublin would be just what you need. And Maggie and I would visit often. And I know you love Galway.’

Caroline sat in the firelight and felt the hairs stand up on the back of her neck. In an instant her intuition urged her to say yes. She had read many times that when something felt very right
you should always follow your gut instinct, no matter how off beam the idea seemed.

She heard herself say yes without hesitation.

‘Do you mean it? Are you sure?’ Devlin’s eyes were bright with delight.

‘I think it’s a wonderful idea,’ Caroline said simply. ‘You get the most magnificent flashes.’ She grinned.

‘Now there’s no rush. I want you to take time off and relax,’ Devlin said hastily. ‘Besides, I’ve to sack Madame Hanlon yet.’ She made a wry face.

‘Are you sure, Devlin?’

‘Look, Caroline, with computers, e-mails, modems, it doesn’t matter whether you’re in Dublin, Belfast, Galway or the moon. You can do your job anywhere. So who better than you
to get Galway up and running and back on track?’ Devlin said matter-of-factly. ‘Now off to bed with you. It’s been a tough few days. You can stay in bed all day tomorrow if you
want to. I’m having a lie-in, that’s for sure. I’ll meander into the office around noon.’

‘You’re very good to me, Devlin. And Luke. I’ll never be able to thank him for all he’s done for me.’ Tears sprang to her eyes.

‘We love you, Caroline. That’s what friends are for. And you know something,’ she rubbed Caroline’s shoulders. ‘One day your Luke is going to come. And I’ll
be there cheering.’

A while later, as she lay in bed, weary to her bones, Caroline pondered Devlin’s words. Would she ever be lucky enough to meet a man like Luke?

Such a thing to be thinking and Richard hardly gone to his maker, she chastised herself.

Whatever about finding a man, she knew that going to Galway was the right move for her. As she closed her eyes to drift off to sleep, Caroline had the strongest image of a door closing gently,
and another one opening to a place that was full of light.

It was a raw icy Sunday. The roads were slippery and Devlin was glad that she wasn’t driving. Caroline was driving them to Galway, ten days after Richard’s funeral.
Her car was packed with clothes and boxes of books and personal possessions. Andrew’s car, ahead of them, carried the overflow.

They were on their way to confront Ciara Hanlon, hoping to catch her giving private treatments. If it so happened that she didn’t show up, Devlin intended helping Caroline to settle into
her new home. They would confront Ciara the next morning.

Caroline would be overseeing the management of Galway City Girl, as well as her own job, from tomorrow onwards. She didn’t seem at all worried about the extra workload. She was going to
have her own PA, nevertheless she was going to be extremely busy.

Devlin thought ruefully how much she would miss her. It had always been so nice to share the journey into work, or to have coffee together or lunch. It was good looking out the window in the
mornings and seeing the light on in Caroline’s kitchen. That would have all changed anyway in the next couple of months. Caroline had always intended moving out and Devlin herself would be
moving into a new house eventually. She gave a little smile as she thought of the beautiful cottage that Luke had discovered the day Richard committed suicide. It had real character and a
magnificent garden and Devlin had fallen in love with it the minute she’d seen it. They were putting an offer in for it.

It was all change, Devlin reflected. For all of them. Galway would be good for Caroline. There were no memories of Richard in Galway. She could start afresh. The rich sea air might put some
colour into her grey gaunt cheeks. Devlin had never seen her friend look so haggard.

Her thoughts turned to the ordeal facing her.

It turned out that Ciara had been stealing from City Girl on a regular basis. There was photographic proof of her leaving the building with large items. That had sickened Devlin. Apart from
using City Girl’s facilities on a Sunday, actually physically robbing her had hardened Devlin to take the course of action she was now following.

Ciara Hanlon was going to get the shock of her life this morning, Devlin thought grimly. The manageress had no idea that Devlin, Caroline and Andrew were paying City Girl a visit. Devlin hoped
they caught her red-handed. She wouldn’t be able to deny it. It would also be much easier to deal with the confrontation without the rest of the staff knowing that something was going on. If
it turned awkward, Devlin did not want guests and staff to witness a spectacle.

‘I wonder will she be there?’ she mused.

‘I’d imagine so,’ Caroline replied as she skirted a pothole.

‘You don’t have to be there, Caroline,’ Devlin said.

‘Why not? Staff are my area of responsibility,’ Caroline pointed out.

‘I know but with everything that’s happened—’

‘Devlin, the only thing that’s kept me sane these past few days is my job. The only way I’ve been able to cope with my guilt and my sadness is to put it aside for a couple of
hours and immerse myself in the plans for operating the residential complex,’ Caroline interrupted. ‘It was great that we got to see Powerscourt Springs. They have the balance just
right and there’s a few things I might incorporate in our operation. If you agree, of course.’

‘Well, I’m glad work’s helping. And of course I’ll be interested to see what ideas you come up with, but Caroline, you’ve got to stop feeling guilty,’ Devlin
urged. ‘Didn’t you once say to me when I was asking you why God allows awful things to happen to people, you said that He never interferes in our lives unless we ask and that we all
have free choice?’

Caroline was silent for a while. ‘That’s right,’ she agreed eventually. ‘We have free choice to do the things we do for good or bad. That was a gift we were
given.’

‘And so Richard’s choice was to commit suicide,’ Devlin said quietly.

‘Yes. But I could have helped him make a different choice maybe.’

‘Caroline, that sounds like spiritual arrogance to me, if you don’t mind my saying so,’ Devlin retorted. ‘You can’t take the responsibility of his choice on your
shoulders. You’re always saying that each of us is on our own path and that’s why it’s wrong to judge, aren’t you?’

‘Umm?’ Caroline wasn’t sure where the point was leading.

‘Well, stop judging Richard. And respect his choice,’ Devlin said simply. ‘His path was his path. Your path is yours. I don’t know half as much about this kind of thing
as you do, but I bet for you to be blaming yourself for another soul’s behaviour is very wrong.’

‘That’s put me in my place,’ Caroline snapped.

‘I don’t mean it like that, Caro, you know that,’ Devlin protested. ‘I’m only trying to help.’

‘Try and imagine if Luke had committed suicide,’ Caroline’s tone was sharp. ‘Try and imagine how you’d feel then, especially if you were estranged. It’s easy
for you to sit there and talk about
my
spiritual arrogance . . . if you don’t mind my saying so.’

Devlin grimaced. ‘I’m sorry, Caroline. I didn’t mean to upset you. I was just trying to help. And you’re right. I couldn’t possibly imagine what you’re going
through. If anything happened to Luke I’d probably kill myself,’ she added unthinkingly. And then realized what she’d said. Her hand flew up to her mouth in horror.
You
jackass. What a totally insensitive thing to say
, she thought in dismay.

Caroline turned to look at her. Their eyes met and to Devlin’s immense relief her friend burst out laughing.

‘Oh, Caroline, I’m so sorry. What a thing to say,’ she apologized, mortified.

‘Delaney’s famous size elevens right in it,’ Caroline grinned. ‘You should see your face. It’s scarlet.’

‘I’m mortified,’ Devlin admitted, touching her flaming cheeks.

‘Don’t be silly, Dev. I feel so sorry for people trying to find the right thing to say to me. Poor Olivia couldn’t handle it at all. If it wasn’t for you and Maggie I
would have gone mad. I know Maggie’s furious with Richard and I’m glad that she is, in a strange sort of way, because she didn’t shell out any empty platitudes, she just said
nothing and looked after me. The three of us have never had to put on a façade with each other. So don’t start now.’

She gave Devlin a wry smile. ‘I never realized I was such a preacher about the spiritual stuff. I’m sorry if I’ve rammed it down your neck.’