Read Acting Out Online

Authors: Laurie Halse Anderson

Acting Out (10 page)

Zoe, the weather continues its harassment of us. I have to imagine that this will extend our shooting time. Luckily, James keeps us all in high spirits. I hope your weather is better in Pennsylvania. You must be starting school tomorrow. Have a great time!

Talk soon, Mom

Still no real conversation. No real news. Nothing even vaguely personal. She could have given that weather report as a tidbit to
People
magazine.
And hasn’t it even occurred to her that starting at another school midyear might be something other than fun? She knows that I’m apprehensive about being back here. I don’t know how long I sit there looking at the screen, or how long I’ve been crying. I only know that at some point Gran is beside me with tissues and hugs, and soon I’m closing my eyes in bed, feeling like I’ve cried out every drop of water in my body.

Chapter Ten

T
he next morning, Maggie walks with me to the school office but waits outside. My stomach feels a little wobbly and my forehead feels a little tight. I take a deep breath and walk inside.

In the office, the school secretary truly looks happy to see me.

“It’s just wonderful to have you back with us, Zoe!” she says. “And I see you’re as stylish as always.”

“Thank you,” I say. I’m wearing my new black-and-white polka-dot dress with my favorite pair of black suede cowboy boots. If Mom can’t make me feel better, at least my shoes can.

The secretary flips open a folder and hands
me a large white-lined card and a class schedule. “Have your teachers sign the card as you go along, dear. Then just turn it in at the end of the day. Your mother and Dr. MacKenzie have you all re-registered, so I don’t need anything else from you right now.”

“Thank you,” I say again and turn to leave.

“Zoe, you’ll find we put you in Maggie’s homeroom and a few other classes, too. Enjoy!” The secretary closes the folder and swivels her chair away as I leave the office.

“Cool!” Maggie says when she sees my schedule. “It’ll be easier for you to help me with my homework if we’re in the same classes.”

That could be a good thing or a bad thing. I guess we’re going to find out.

As we walk through the hallways, I hear lots of people call my name to say hello. There are more familiar faces than I expected. A couple of girls from my math class last year stop and excitedly ask me questions about Hollywood and where I got my boots. Maggie rolls her eyes, but I feel my shoulders relax a little. My stomach and head are already returning to normal. Maybe this won’t be so bad. I’m good at school and I make friends pretty easily, and people seem happy to have me back. After all, I was worried about rejoining the
Vet Volunteers, and that seems to be working out fine.

After school, Maggie and I sit at Gran’s kitchen table with Sherlock between us. We snack on apples and chunks of cheddar cheese. I look at a message that Gran has left for us.

Girls, I’m assisting Dr. Gabe on a stable call. I should be back before 5. Get your homework done. And Zoe, your mom called. She got the time zone difference mixed up again. She said she’ll try to reach you later. Love, Gran

This goes on for another two weeks. I leave phone messages for Mom, she leaves them for me. Mom sends me super short emails and I have a hard time replying to them. What can I say to her? School is school. She knows how the Vet Volunteers work. I could tell her about the antifreeze problem, but I want to wait until the PSAs are finished before I say anything. Nothing else is different, and I don’t think anything will seem very interesting to her. Not when she’s on a movie set with famous stars.

And our PSAs aren’t any closer to being done. We haven’t even been able to finish one about
antifreeze, even though I have ideas for lots of others, like shelter adoption and spaying and neutering. Everyone is so busy, and when some of us do manage to get together to film one, something always goes wrong. Jules gets stage fright or David’s jokes put everyone in stitches or the camera’s battery is dead. I keep bugging David to see if we can use Brian’s camera, but he shrugs me off. The videos aren’t good enough to post, and they definitely aren’t good enough for my mother to see.

Finally one night, Mom calls when I’m home. I’ve already gone to bed. Gran knocks on my door to see if I’m awake enough to take her call.

“Yes!” I say, throwing back the covers. Gran hands me the phone and leaves my room.

“Mom?” I’m so eager to hear her voice, but I’m also a little mad at her.

“Zoe! We’re finally talking! This has been crazy, hasn’t it?”

“It sure has. Don’t they have clocks in Vancouver?”

Mom doesn’t say anything for a moment. I only meant to tease a little. I think. But maybe I did want to hurt her a little as well.

“Mom?”

“Zoe, I’m doing my best here. Our shooting
schedule has been crazy. The weather is making it very hard to plan. We sit around for hours waiting to film only to have it called off for the day. And then we’ll get a call to get to set with only a few minutes’ notice. I have to stay in makeup all day just in case.”

I hear her take a deep breath, and then she rushes on.

“Zoe, you know very well that some of these are remote location days. We talked about that before we left California. We don’t have phone or Internet connections up there. It’s very frustrating. James walks around with his iPhone out all day, hoping to get service, but it’s just a lost cause.”

“Mom?”

“Yes?”

“D-do you even miss me?” I stammer before my voice cracks with tears.

“Of course, baby, of course. I miss you terribly. How could I not? You’re my only child. You’re everything to me. But, sweetheart, you haven’t exactly filled me in on things, either. You don’t always reply to my emails.”

“That’s because I don’t know what to say. Nothing about my life seems interesting enough to share when you’re out making a movie,” I choke out.

“Zoe, that’s ridiculous.
Everything
about your life is interesting to me.”

I guess I snort a little because she sighs and says, “
Really
, Zoe. You’re my daughter. And I know you’ve heard it before, and you won’t entirely believe it until you have a child of your own, but you are the most interesting, most important thing in my life. And you always will be.”

“Even more interesting than this movie? Or your career? Or your new friend James?”

“Absolutely more interesting than all those things. Zoe, I love you fiercely,” Mom says. And I believe her. Mostly.

“I love you too, Mom,” I reply. I feel a little better.

“Now, baby, tell me what’s going on in good old Ambler, Pennsylvania.”

I fill Mom in on Maggie and Gran, on school and the Vet Volunteers. And then I bring up the PSAs. I wanted it to be a surprise, but at the rate we’re going, who knows if we’ll ever get them done. I may as well just tell her about them.

“I wanted to make these to help people understand. I wanted to help lots of animals,” I explain.

I wonder if I should tell her the rest of it. I probably should. Mom has been honest with me; it’s time I open up completely with her.

I fidget with the edge of my bedspread and say hesitantly, “I also wanted to have something important to show you so that you would want to be in touch with me more, to ask about how it was going. And so you would be proud of me. Kind of selfish, I know,” I admit.

“Oh, Zoe.” Mom sounds a little teary. “All of your reasons for those PSAs are good ones, and it sounds like a wonderful idea. But you don’t have to try so hard to catch my attention. I’m sorry I haven’t been good at showing you that I’m interested in your life, but I promise that I’m proud of you, no matter what. I’ll talk to your grandmother and we’ll set up a plan so we can keep in better touch, okay?”

Mom and I talk for another hour before she has to go back to work. It’s after eleven here. I’m exhausted but also energized. I’m still uneasy about being in Ambler without Mom, but catching up with her has made me feel much better.

Chapter Eleven

T
wo days later, when I arrive home from school, Gran takes my shoulders and ushers me into my room. On my desk is my computer with a small camera clipped to the top. And on the screen is my mother!

We start to talk but have a little trouble. The screen freezes up when Mom begins to talk, and it takes a couple of tries before our connection works properly. But now it’s running smoothly. Mom looks great. She’s in full movie makeup. But I’m sure the sweater she is wearing is part of her costume. She’d never wear anything so dreary in real life.

“Nice outfit, Mom,” I tease.

“Ha! Special just for you,” she says. She straightens her sweater and fluffs her hair.

I stand and twirl and show her my outfit. Then I strike a red-carpet pose like she taught me.

“What do you think?” I ask.

“You look perfect to me,” she replies. “Absolutely perfect.”

We smile at each other and wave. It’s great to be able to see her face and not just her emails.

“Now, Zoe, I have a little surprise for you. I’ve set up some help for you and your friends.”

Mom is grinning. What is she talking about?

She goes on. “One of the local news stations in Philadelphia is going to film the PSAs for you! They’ll even run some on the station before and after the morning and evening news.”

“You’re kidding! That’s great! Everyone is going to be so excited.” I’m actually not sure about that, but I know I can talk them into doing it anyway. I’ll have to. How fun!

“Oh, and Zoe,” Mom continues, “my friend James is flying down to help. He isn’t in the next few scenes that are shooting this week. I’m sure you’ll all make him feel welcome.”

I can see her quizzical look clearly. She wants me to be extra nice to James. Hmmm. Sounds
like he might be turning into more than a friend. I don’t know how I feel about that.

The next week, at the news station, we are a jittery cluster of Vet Volunteers. Gran looks nervous, and she isn’t even acting. The evening news anchorwoman has been enlisted to help us.

“Hi, kids, I’m Ginny,” she introduces herself, smiling. “It’s great to see you. We’ll do a quick rehearsal, and then get you into makeup.”

David and Josh look horrified.

“It’s just news makeup,” she reassures the boys. “No eye shadow or anything. All the men wear it when they’re on camera. It’s mostly to keep the cameras from picking up too much shine from your skin. We’ll be sure to help you take it off before you leave.” The boys nod reluctantly, but they don’t look happy.

I, on the other hand, am excited about the makeup. Mom’s makeup artists used to give me makeovers if I was on set. Even though Mom usually told them to “tone it down a bit,” it always looked good and it was nice to feel pampered.

I lean over to Jules. “Just wait until you see how good a makeup artist can make you look!”

She doesn’t reply, and she looks a little sick.

“It’s going to be okay,” I say encouragingly. “Just look at the camera and imagine that you’re talking
to a friend about something you care about very much.”

“Exactly!” Ginny has overheard me. “Everyone? Everyone? Gather ’round. Let’s all think about what, um, what is your name, sweetie?”

“Zoe.”

“Let’s all think about what Zoe said,” Ginny continues. “You’re going to look at the camera and pretend that the camera is a friend. You’ll talk to the camera just like you’re talking to a friend. I’ve read your PSA spots and they are perfect.”

She turns to me and says, “I think the professional actor is already here. He stopped in last night from the airport and all the ladies were quite flustered.”

Interesting. I imagined he’d be good-looking. I’m glad I’ll be able to check him out, especially now that I suspect he’s more than just my mom’s friend.

Ginny leads us into the studio. The evening news set is pushed up against one wall. It looks so much smaller here than it does on TV. Two stools are set up in front of a deep-blue background.

“Let’s rehearse once with just the kids,” Ginny says to the cameraman. We rehearse, and it goes much better than it did in Gran’s backyard, even though most of my friends seem nervous. Maybe it’s because this setting is so professional. Or maybe
it’s because the anchorwoman is better at directing than I am. No, I think the real reason is that now all we have to do is recite one line in unison. Now that James is involved, he’ll be reading the rest of the lines by himself. I guess Jules was right after all—this is much easier with a professional actor involved.

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