Authors: Ellen Wolf
He was serious,
and
her
panic kicked in once more. He must have sp
ent a great deal of
time thinking about it and wasn’t
going
to be swayed
from
his new
ly
found resolution to break up with her.
‘So what’s the deal with Veronica?’
S
he folded
her hands
in her lap so he wouldn’t notice
the
m
shaking. ‘
What
’s
so amazing about her that makes you dump everything after just one month
together
?’
‘
As I said
, she really cares about me
.
’
H
e
finished his coffee,
setting the cup back on the table with a gesture
of finality
.
T
heir
conversation
clearly
was over
.
She felt dazed
, unable to fully absorb what had just happened. Brian had been a constant in her life for so long she couldn’t imagine being without him. She loved him
;
if she hadn’t
,
she
never would have
considered
marrying him. But she knew deep in her heart that he was
right
about
the
past threaten
ing
their
relationship
. God knew she didn’t want it to be this way
,
either.
Sometimes she wished
for
a magic potion to erase the memories that
relentlessly
haunted her. She had tried hard to forget Liam over the years,
each piece of information provided by his sister only reinforcing
her lack of hope for
any future that would include him.
She and Laura
had stayed in touch even after Laura’s mother
had
decided to move the family to California
,
al
though their conversations and emails
had become
more and more sporadic as the years went by.
He was doing
well
on the
West
Coast. His career
had
catapulted him into a position where his name and face
had become
known and appreciated by both his fans and his competition
. She read the interviews he was giving to numerous papers and couldn’t quite believe this was the same guy who
had
taught both her and Laura how to skate
.
Still, she pored over the pages, her eyes
eagerly
clinging to
the
photographs that accompanied the text. He was even more handsome than she remembered,
and she wished
he would
turn repulsive and mean
-
looking. Anything that would make him less enticing would be welcome
.
She hated
the way her heart still
beat
faster each time she saw him after all these years
. He should be nothing but a distant memory by now, pleasant yet fuzzy as she moved on with her life.
She
had
managed to avoid him for the longest time, the humiliation at Laura’s birthday party never quite forgotten. He wasn’t a frequent visitor at his mom’s newest residence anyway. Emily
Latimer
had decided just three years into her last marriage that things weren’t working out and
had
filed for divorce, bringing
her
total marriage attempts to four. Laura joked humorlessly
that they should say
‘
four and counting,
’
her trust in
her mom’s judgment regarding
marriage an
d loving relationship
s
seriously
shaken in
the last ten years.
Liam didn’t seem to be involved
at all
.
His
job kept him busy
with
projects around the globe leaving little
,
if
any
,
time
for
a
personal
life.
Jade
had
never dared to ask
Laura any
straightforward
questions
about his love life, a paralyzing shyness preventing her from admitting how she felt.
Knowing
Laura
,
the girl
might even
have
talk
ed
to Liam
in an effort
to bring them together, which would
have been
the pinnacle of humiliation.
But
Jade
had seen pictures
of him
with his love interests, each of them prettier than the last.
S
he told herself
that
she didn’t care at all
;
her own love life
was
fulfilling and totally satisfying. Brian filled the void, his smile and exuberance enough to make her forget her heartache
—
most of the time. Only sometimes, when she let her guard down,
did she feel
the familiar tightening in her chest. It could happen at any moment
,
when
some insignificant situation
flood
ed
her with
painful
memories
.
Like eating in the little
Chinese
restaurant
she
and Brian liked so much. Brian
would
compl
i
ment
her on her excellent skills with chopsticks while he struggled with a slippery piece of tofu that refused to be picked up. She
would
laugh and tease him a bit, only to fall silent as she recalled Liam’s patient tutoring
in
the tricky art of eating
th
at
way.
In her mind they were
sitting arm to arm at the tiny
,
shabby table in Chinatown
with
steaming bowls full of
treacherously
slippery noodles. She watched him and Laura tucking in, their nimble fingers making her feel like a klutz.
She was just about to use the fork
provided by
the compassionate waiter
who had
correctly
assum
ed
she might need it if she were to avoid starvation.
Liam grinned at her, his dark eyes cheerful as he watched her noodle
glid
e
of
f
the chopstick and land with a soft,
sloshy
sound in her bowl.
‘Try
it
like th
is.’
He demonstrated his grip, correcting the way she rested the chopstick against the soft flesh of her
hand
.
‘That’s better.’
She cast a quick glance at his face, marveling at the length
of
the
dark eyelashes that almost came to rest on his high cheekbones. His dark hair fell over his forehead, grazing his straight eyebrows and glistening
like
the wings
of a raven
in the shabby light of the
old
-
fashion
ed
lamp.
‘See, the trick is to hold it halfway up, so you can control it better
.
’
She
forced herself to follow his moves, afraid to expose her infatuation to Laura, who was sitting across the table. In the end, she
had become
much better
,
and they
had
enjoyed the rest of the meal,
she and Laura
giggling at Liam’s attempts to speak
M
andarin
to the waiter. He
had
taken
a couple of courses at the university and was eager to try out his new vocabulary
;
the waiter’s encouraging grin and enthusiastic nodding
prov
ed
he
hadn’t wasted
his time.
‘See, this is exactly what I
’m
talking about, Jade.’ Brian’s voice broke into her
thoughts
, and she looked up,
momentarily
confused
as she attempted to focus
on
him
once again.
‘
You
’
re miles away from me and this place, even now when we
’re
trying to sort out our lives.’ He sighed and shook his head in
resignation
. ‘I wish things were different, you know
that
.
However,
as it is, I just can’t imagine our life together. I don’t know if Veronica is the woman I
’m
going to end up with
.
It’s
too early to say. All I know is that I have to take the risk and try
to find
a relationship that
’s
more fulfilling than
th
e
one we have right now.’
So that was it
.
S
he
watched him search
his wallet
for his credit card with an almost fatalistic fascination
, the
overpowering sense of watching
her
life unravel in front of her eyes numbing her into silence. There was nothing to say, really
.
She knew Brian
wasn’t going to listen to any of her arguments in favor of saving their engagement. What argument would it be
,
anyway?
Her
mouth
was
dry and
her
eyes
burn
ed
as she
watched
him pick up the bill and write down the tip, his concentrated expression achingly familiar. Her fingers
felt
ice cold
when
she put her palms on the table. The sparkling light
of
the engagement ring he
had given
her just a few months
before
caught her eye
,
and she
realized
what she had to do. She pulled it off, the sensation of the slim golden band slipping of
f
her finger
symbolic
and final
. She
grasped
it in her palm for a second, welcoming the discomfort as it dug into her flesh. Feeling pain was real
;
it
took away
the
air of surrealism that surrounded their whole conversation.
The moment
couldn’t last
, however.
She
opened her palm,
put
the ring
on the pristine tablecloth
,
and slid it toward him with a weak smile.
‘This is yours, then.’ How did one break up properly? Did Brian think her heartless and cold because she wasn’t in tears? Was he waiting for her to convince him he was wrong about her? And why on earth wasn’t she doing either of those two things?
All she could read
on
his face
was
r
elief that it was over as
he
took the ring and put it in his pocket, his moves smooth and swift. He smiled at her, the first real smile since they
ha
d
arrived at the restaurant.
‘Thank you. I
can’t
tell you what it means to me for us to part as friends
.
I was hoping it would stay this way, but
I
wasn’t sure if you
w
ould
hate me forever.’
‘I don’t hate you
.
’
I
t
was true. She was disappointed and hurt
, but
the very core of her seemed untouched by the unexpected turn their lives were taking.