He should have come home years ago.
*
The day I discovered that William was the Beast of Arundale Hall, I thought my life was over. Our wedding night, usually kept in girlish secrecy, was one I must share so that following Arundale women are not shocked or pained by the method our men use. The Beast is so much a part of William that I no longer think of them as separate beings, but parts of a whole.
Early on I discovered that pain, sexual arousal and domination all serve to control the Beast. It may stun you to see such words used by a gentlewoman. But I do not want my sons to suffer. The wolf creature is part of the Arundale heritage as much as blue eyes or tallness.
It appears during puberty, somehow influenced by sexual need. From an Arundale boy’s crossing into manhood, he is tortured by the demands of this inner demon—for uncontrolled, the Beast is harsh and violent.
Sexual extremes seem to satiate the Beast, but it is the final claiming of a mate that calms the Beast permanently. Until an Arundale male finds his lifelong mate, he is subject to the Beast’s whims of sexual games.
When I met William, he visited brothels and paid women to allow him the full scope of his Beast’s nature. But I was his true mate, blooded by him and claimed. I wear his mark proudly, though none know it. Inside my thigh, he marked me as his mate on that first night, our wedding night.
My two boys show all the signs of the Arundale male and, I have no doubt, will inherit the curse as well. Arranged marriages are deadly in this instance. For example, William told me of a distant ancestor, a DeFalk, who
married a woman not his true mate.
The Beast tore her to pieces
.
*
The date was a year before her death.
Perry was trussed up and receiving the beating he desired. This place was had been Joshua’s safe haven once. The fact that his wife had been required to come here made his stomach roll.
Lord Everret hadn’t changed either. Those cool gray eyes regarded him with an assessment similar to Elizabeth’s. The man wanted to observe Perry’s torment and Joshua hadn’t said no. The Beast enjoyed having an audience.
“Your wife is quite lovely,” Everret commented.
The Beast within Joshua howled and spat. But Joshua controlled it. Only now did he understand why he was able to. Mated to Elizabeth, he had the upper hand. He stared at Everret. The man was tall, wiry and dark. His black hair was slicked back and his dress was spotless. But something about him nagged at Joshua. “Your opinion was not asked for, nor is it welcome,” he said bluntly.
The man’s smile was razor thin. “But I would like to give it nonetheless. She is lovely. Especially when she’s angry.”
Beneath his skin the wolf roared and scratched, but Joshua knew he was being provoked. His human side wondered why Everret baited him.
He was about to demand an answer when a snarl and the sound of ripping wood distracted him. Joshua turned to see his brother’s eyes change, his teeth glistening in the candlelight.
Everret grinned. Joshua stared at both men and jerked his head at the man who held the whip. “Leave.” The hooded man nodded and ducked out of the door.
Joshua contemplated Everret. Had he deliberately tried to reveal the Beast by taunting it?
The restraints on Perry’s wrists snapped and his growl echoed around the room. Joshua stepped in front of him. “No, Perry. Stop.”
“Then get him to stop talking about Elizabeth that way,” Perry demanded, his voice three octaves deeper than normal.
What spurred his brother to defend Elizabeth? Did he love her? He pinned his brother with a glare. “If my wife is to be defended, I will do it.”
“She is my sister. Shut him up,” Perry said, his spine stretching and his fingers lengthening.
Joshua glanced back at Everret. It didn’t surprise him in the least to see the man’s gray eyes changed to a luminous blue and his wiry frame larger. Many questions were answered as Everret’s human form disintegrated into a sleek, hairy Beast.
“Yes,” he hissed. “Shut me up, Lord Arundale.” He spat Joshua’s title as if it were poison.
Perry glared at Everret and Joshua realized there was only one way to settle this. The wolf within howled in triumph as Joshua released the locks and allowed his body to change.
It wasn’t the physical transition released, but the mental one. It was the mind that controlled the Beast within. Just as a man could control a pain response, Joshua could control the change of his body. To allow the Beast to be free was to fight the instinct within. To kill, to hunt, to mate—those were all instinctual and natural to the wolf form. To resist those urges was a challenge, but Joshua had spent years learning. It seemed Everret had as well.
The hair on his back bristled and lengthened. His jaw cracked as it expanded into a large snout. Pain was a normal part of the transition and one of the reasons the Beast was satiated by beatings.
Everret froze when he saw Joshua’s true form. Even for a Beast, Joshua was big. They circled each other. Everret’s fangs were long and thick. Joshua growled low, an expression of warning.
The other man laughed, a harsh, ugly sound. “I knew you wouldn’t disappoint me.”
“Things have changed.”
“That they have.” Everret huffed another laugh. “Now you have a little mate. I’ve caught her scent many times. You should have brought her here yourself. She was aroused here. I smelled it.”
He barely got the last word out before Joshua sprang. They tumbled and slammed into the wall, but Joshua gained the upper hand. He grabbed Everret with his teeth, sinking them into the skin of the other man’s throat.
They rolled across the floor, Perry leaping to the side to avoid them. Joshua hung on to Everret’s throat, his teeth demanding capitulation. Finally, Joshua maneuvered his body on top of Everret’s, pinning him to the floor.
“Who are you?” Joshua demanded. As far as he’d known he was the only wolf in existence. His brother wasn’t a surprise, the son of an Arundale. But Everret?
“A byproduct of your father’s early liaisons,” the man spat. “He wasn’t as careful as you were as a youth.”
“He got a woman pregnant?” It stunned Joshua. His father had always seemed so faithful to the woman he’d married.
“My mother,” Everret said, his voice strained and his glare still defiant. “She was no whore. Just a woman who sought twisted pleasure and paid a high price.”
Joshua sank his teeth deeper, pressing Everret to the floor. “Yield.”
He felt Everret swallow and nod. Slowly Joshua released him, but kept his stance threatening. The other man immediately changed to his human façade, the blue eyes back to gray and the wiry muscles back to normal size. But Joshua remained in his wolf form, silent, intimidating.
Everret ran a hand through his hair to smooth it down. “I am three years your senior. Does that explain things?”
Joshua nodded. “Did you confront my father?”
“With what?” Everret said bitterly. “I was fifteen when he died. Too young to assert my rights as an Arundale.”
“So you opened this place knowing we,” Joshua glanced at his brother, “would need this.”
“You were so cautious,” Everret sneered. “Sixteen, a virgin, and you came here as if you owned the world. You dominated the women and refused to succumb to any vices other than the one that contained your Beast.”
“But Perry—”
“Perry was so easy,” Everret said in an oily tone. “Uncertainty, torment—it was almost no challenge at all.”
Perry growled and Joshua roared him into silence. Then he approached Everret. The claws of his hands and feet scraped across the floor, rasping loudly in the quiet room. His opponent faced him, watched him. The man didn’t back down but sweat broke out on his brow.
“And the murder?”
Everret’s nostrils flared. “Ah. Are you worried that your errant brother shredded that poor soul?”
His brother’s growl vibrated the walls of the dark room. “I should rip your throat out.”
“Come and try it,” Everret snarled, his teeth bared.
“How do we know you didn’t do it?” Perry strained against Joshua’s restraining claws.
“You don’t,” Everret said with a wicked grin.
He didn’t know. Somehow, Joshua was sure Everret didn’t know who’d done it. “What have you heard?”
Everret’s gray eyes shifted. “The man looked like he’d been clawed to death with razor-sharp cuts. His name was Barnwell.”
“The poacher?” Perry’s fear spiked and Joshua sensed that his brother was shocked. “No one said it was him.” He glared at Everret. “You’re lying.”
“If it makes you feel any better,” Everret said drily, “Barnwell worked here until a week before his death.”
Joshua pinned his brother with a threatening stare. “You knew this man?”
“He punched him in front of several witnesses.” Everret’s smile wasn’t pleasant. “If it wasn’t for the fact that the constable likes me for the job, your brother would be under arrest.”
What a mess. Joshua was sure Perry hadn’t done it. He was equally sure Everret hadn’t committed the act. Of course, his gut wasn’t admissible in a court of law.
He sighed. “Well, that’s why I’m home. To clean up this mess.” Joshua stretched and returned to his human form, as did his brother.
“Welcome home,” Everret quipped.
A snort escaped Joshua before he could stop it. He studied the man for several silent seconds, then said, “Come to Arundale Hall.”
“What?” The man’s jaw dropped.
His brother shouted at him. “Have you lost your mind?”
“Shut up, Perry.” Joshua kept his gaze on Everret. “I left England because I was a coward. I was afraid of the Beast and didn’t understand it.” He shot a glance at his brother and back to the man who was also cursed with the same blood. “I hoped Perry wasn’t one of us. I wasn’t sure about you.”
“You thought I might be?” Everret looked stunned, his eyes wide.
“Too often you anticipated me, knew my moods.” Those times came back to him when Joshua had been terrified of himself, his capabilities. He’d done everything to squash the Beast. But Everret had often given him the right woman, the right room, the right tools. How else could the man have known? “How did you go through this alone?”
The other man blinked and turned away. “My mother. She— Your father said more to her than he meant to say. He revealed his weakness, his need. And he told her that though he cared for her he could never marry her.” The bitterness returned.
“Because she wasn’t his mate,” Joshua said.
Everret tightened his lips. “Right,” he snapped.
“I repeat, Everret. Come to Arundale.”
The man seemed to change into a different man right before Joshua’s eyes. His face was smooth and urbane. “And give up my very lucrative business?”
“No. I wouldn’t expect you to do that.” Joshua picked up his mother’s diary. “The offer stands.” He strode to the door, his brother behind him. When he glanced back, Everret had a serious expression on his face. “We could help each other.”
Everret glared at him. “I don’t need your help, Arundale.”
Joshua nodded. “Think about it.” He walked out of the room and clapped Perry on the back. “Come on. Let’s have a drink.”
Perry shook his head. “I don’t understand at all.”
Joshua nodded. “I know. I’ll explain it—”
His brother slashed his hand through the air and turned his back on Joshua. “You’re just like Elizabeth. You want to explain it. Forget it.”
Perry stomped out of the house and by the time Joshua caught up, he was gone. Joshua shook his head and called for his carriage. Yes, it was going to be much more difficult than he had anticipated.
It might take a bit, but he’d help Perry and then maybe Everret would allow them to help him.
Chapter Five
“Don’t wait up,” he’d said. Elizabeth paced her room, listening for the sound of the front door. Several curse words passed through her mind and she wanted to say all of them. But she gritted her teeth and kept quiet. “Don’t wait up, indeed.” She wanted to kick him. She wanted to make him suffer.
She sighed. He had already suffered greatly. How difficult it must have been to find a way to control the wolf inside him. Elizabeth ground her teeth together. It didn’t change the fact that he’d married her, taken her virginity, then left her for ten years to wonder what she’d done wrong.
If she hadn’t stolen the book from Joshua’s grandmother, she never would have known why her husband had run to Jamaica. Or why Perry chose such extreme ways to have sex. Five years had passed and the simmering anger had exploded into rage.
Lady Marian North, Joshua’s grandmother, had held her daughter’s possessions hostage, unwilling to part with any of them. It had taken stealth and deception to escape with the book.
What Joshua didn’t know was that there were several notebooks identical to the one Elizabeth had stolen, chronicling the years Lady Arundale had spent adjusting to her life at Arundale Hall.
It had stunned Elizabeth when she’d read them through the first time. It had taken a fortnight and long hours of listening to the varied complaints of Lady North to read them all. When Elizabeth had left, she’d known more about her in-laws and their struggles than she’d ever wanted to know.
Five agonizing years lay ahead of her, years when she’d kept expecting her husband to return, until finally she’d given up hope. Her attempts to acquaint Perry with the nature of his heritage had been rudely rebuffed. The only solaces in her life were the unquestioning loyalty Jaimison bestowed and Gerry’s unconditional love.
She clenched her hands into fists. Ten years she’d been the wife of an absentee husband who relied on her for everything and gave her nothing but money. If she’d been a different kind of woman that might have been enough. But Elizabeth was no shrinking violet. She would not tell comfortable lies to herself.
When had she realized that her sexual needs demanded attention? The first time she’d experienced arousal at the sight of something deviant had been at that brothel in Yorkshire eight years earlier.