By the end of the weekend, for the first time in his life, Travis felt like he actually had a grandmother. He had never had the experience of an older woman who had maternal feelings for him.
He liked it.
He liked a lot of things since Selena came into his life.
Now if he could somehow keep from screwing it up.
****
Selena started browsing and shopping. Travis got bored immediately and told her he would be by the magazine rack when she was ready to pay.
She walked out of the store fifteen minutes later with mascara, fingernail polish, lipstick, sunscreen, eyeliner, two pairs of socks, shampoo and conditioner, tampons and pads, and a pregnancy test.
He never blinked an eye.
The next day after Travis finished his breakfast and left the house, she ran to the bathroom, opened the test box and read the instructions. They were printed in English, Spanish, and French, and had perfectly understandable diagrams.
Ten minutes after that, Selena knew for sure she was pregnant. A thrill went through her.
Pregnant
! She was going to have a baby. Travis's baby. She placed her hand on her stomach and softly patted the precious new life she carried. She needed to go find Travis.
Travis saddled his horse and rode away from the barn wondering how he was going to spend the hours until he could safely go back for lunch. When Selena bought the pregnancy test yesterday, he had almost lost it right then. But for whatever reason, she was trying to hide it from him, and so he choked back the question and had simply handed over his platinum card.
But his mind had been working on it ever since. How the hell had he not noticed she hadn't had another period? Because he was so damn selfish he hadn't wanted to even think about having to stop making love to her? Because the pain she had endured the previous month was so shocking to him that he wanted to put it off for as long as he could? Why the hell had he not even thought of another period? She damn sure didn't need the tampons and pads yet, because he knew for a fact she wasn't bleeding, and hadn't since he had married her.
How could she not be pregnant? If she was healthy and normal, which she seemed to be, wouldn't she be pregnant as much as he had used her? An image of her delicate little body, having to accommodate his rampaging hormones, shook him.
Even that morning, knowing of the pregnancy test, he still couldn't stop himself from rolling on top of her, spreading her legs, and sinking into her before her eyes were even opened.
God, he was an ass.
He wanted her to be pregnant, wanted it with a passion. Yeah, he wanted a baby, but more than anything, he wanted her. Cemented to him, to his ranch. But it was just one more stake in his soul. Never caring about her needs, or what she wanted.
He was going to hell for sure.
But wouldn't an eternity in hell be worth it, if he could trade it for having heaven here on earth with her?
****
Selena went out to both barns looking for Travis. She couldn't find him, but Gus told her he had ridden out to the East pasture, and should be back before long.
She went back to the house, and since she knew he wouldn't return before lunch, decided to make the day special. She took a leisurely bath, dressed in the shortest pair of shorts he had bought for her, and decided to try out her new makeup. She hadn't made herself up in ages, but it used to be fun.
Goodness, this marriage stuff was awesome! Making love all the time, having someone to share everything with, and now she was going to get a baby, too.
When Travis finally allowed himself to come back to the house for lunch, he didn't know what to expect. He imagined that she would have already taken the test and known one way or another. Would she be upset to find herself saddled with a baby at so young an age? Or would she be pleased because she thought she was in love with him?
He didn't expect the femme fatale that waited for him in the kitchen. She sat on the kitchen table, a plate of brownies on one side of her, and a casserole on the other side. She wore a tiny pair of shorts, and her legs were crossed, her beautiful bare feet swinging back and forth, bright pink polish on her little toes. Her face was subtly made up, and he felt a swift kick to his system when he saw how it enhanced her beauty. She was stunningly beautiful, and there was a smile on her face.
She held out her arms to him and wriggled all of her fingers, in a posture that screamed of her satisfaction.
He couldn't help but smile, and took the invitation to walk into her arms.
"We did it, Travis!"
Satisfaction pierced through him. "We did?"
"
Si
. We are pregnant. We are going to have a baby."
His arms enclosed her. He was glad his goal was accomplished, but he felt sort of numb, kind of like the happiness he should be feeling was being robbed by the fact he had tricked her.
She felt his mental withdrawal. She pulled back from him and studied his face.
"Are you not happy? Is this not what you have been trying to do?"
Ouch
. She knew that? "Yeah, I'm happy." His voice lacked emotion. "Are you happy?"
Selena didn't understand his reaction. It didn't go with the man who had willingly and knowingly made love to her dozens of times without protection since their marriage.
She nodded her head. "I am happy about the baby."
"Why do you think you're happy?" His question floored her.
Her voice rose an octave. "Why do I
think
I am happy?"
"Yeah. Is it the same reason you think you love me?"
"Travis Blake. I do not understand what is wrong with you."
Travis let go of her and turned away. He paced a few feet and then faced her again. "What's wrong with me is that I've tricked you, forced you to marry me, stolen your virginity, and to top it all off, I got you pregnant on purpose!" His voice became louder as he went and he yelled the last six words.
Selena laughed. "
Si
, I know all of this. I do not think you tricked me. How did you trick me?"
Travis watched her in frustration as she sat with a smile on her face, swinging those bare legs back and forth.
Travis put his hands on his hips and glared at her. "I tricked you by keeping you here under false pretenses."
Selena frowned slightly. "False pre--pretenses. What is pretenses?"
"I lied to you."
That got her attention. She narrowed her eyes at him. "When did you lie to me?"
"I've been lying to you all along--"
"You were already married? You have a girlfriend? Where is she?"
Travis growled low in his throat. "No. You're just not getting it. You're refusing to see what's right in front of your pretty little face."
Selena shook her head in puzzlement and rolled her eyes. "What is in front of my face that I am not seeing?"
"I forced you to marry me."
"How did you force me to marry you?"
"I took your little ass to Laredo and stuck a ring on your finger and threatened to leave you alone there if you didn't marry me."
Selena smiled. "Yes. I remember."
Travis took a deep breath and blew it out. Crap. Might as well tell her the whole truth. "Selena, baby, I wanted to sleep with you." He deepened his voice. "I wanted to have sex with you."
Selena tried to figure out what exactly was going on in that male brain of his. She was missing something. "Yes, Travis. Of course I know this already. I know you wanted to sleep with me. I knew that when you first kissed me.
Travis studied her face. Why the hell wasn't she angry? She should be angry. "You knew all that time?"
Selena retorted, "You were not trying to hide it. You were mad all of the time. You told me why you were upset."
"And all that is okay with you? You'll cook for me, clean for me, have my baby, all because I want to have sex with you so badly it almost kills me to think of not having you anymore?"
Selena was beginning to catch on. Finally. "No. I do all those things for you not because you want to sleep with me, but because you love me."
Travis stilled. This was it. It had come down to this. "Baby, it's just sex. I can't lie to you. I don't even know what love is--"
He was cut off by her laugh. She sat there, laughing softly at him, swinging her legs again and shaking her head.
"You are a
loco
man."
"No. I'm not. You are a
loco
woman to put up with this treatment."
"And you are such a horrible man that you warn me, what? That I should run from you? Take my baby away?"
"You're not running from me. You're not going anywhere. You're not taking my baby anywhere." He bit the words out.
"And why do you care so much if you do not love me? You think maybe you are not handsome enough to get another woman? You are very handsome. You could have another woman like that." She snapped her fingers.
"I don't want another
goddamn
woman!" Travis was losing it.
"No? Another woman could maybe speak better English, not burn your food.
Another woman might not make you so angry all the time."
"I don't want another
goddamn
woman. I want you. Only you. Always you." Travis was getting pissed just thinking about another woman.
Selena looked at him and purred, "And why is that, Travis? Because you like to have sex with me?"
Travis felt a kick in the gut and realized what direction she had been goading him into.
She continued in a more gentle voice, "You want me to have your baby, you want to hold me while we watch television, you hold my hand on the porch swing, you find my grandmother and take me to her, you buy me a huge diamond ring so no one can miss it, you kiss me first thing in the morning and the last thing at night. If you say you do all of these things because you want to have sex with me, then that is fine with me. I like to have sex with you, too."
Travis watched her, the truth rocking him. Shocking him. He still didn't speak.
Selena said softly, "I just have one question. One small concern. Will you want to sleep with me forever?"
Travis closed his eyes for the pulse of three heartbeats, and then opened them. He took a step toward her. His voice was rusty when he spoke. "Angel, I love you."
Selena stepped into his arms. "Yes, I know you do, Travis. I love you, too." She took one of his hands in hers and placed it on her stomach. "And we are having a baby."
Travis sat on the porch swing with his arm around Selena. She had a light wrap around her shoulders as she sat and nursed their baby girl.
The baby weight had dropped off Selena again. She was just as slender as the day she had come to his ranch, five years ago. Her breasts were fuller, and her face had matured with seductive beauty. Her English was still not perfect. But Travis continued to want her, day in and day out.
He fell more deeply in love with her as the years went by. She
was
the perfect wife.
He continued to count his blessings, and he remembered to thank God every day that she was his.
He looked over at his four year old twins playing in the sandbox. The boys were in the rough and tumble stage. They were growing bigger every day and causing mayhem all the time.
"Don't you think it's time we started on the new house by the pond?" Travis said lazily, stroking her shoulder. "We're growing out of this house."
Selena loved this house. It was her home. The house where the romance began, the house where their marriage started. The house where the babies were conceived. Well, probably.
"Not yet. Maybe one day." She turned to Travis, sitting next to her. "But not today."
She leaned her head down and rested it on his shoulder. He lazily pushed the swing with his foot.
Selena gazed off into the distance, content. Her eyes wandered closer, past the sandbox, over to the fence line, not far distant.
She gripped Travis by the leg and raised her head. "Travis. Look." Her voice contained disbelief.
Travis looked in the direction she was pointing. A large male skunk with a smaller female and three babies walked in a line toward the house. They ambled closer and saw the humans. The female hesitated, then stopped with the babies, but the male turned and left his family there for a moment. He walked forward, past the sandbox and came within three feet of the porch.
Travis and Selena stared in awe at the grown male skunk. Selena made a little kissing noise that she had used with the baby skunks years ago, and the male turned and looked right at her. The skunk recognized the noise and stayed for a full three minutes, listening to Selena crooning to him.
And then, his visit over, he turned and left, his little skunk family following him.
"Can you believe it? That had to be him. The little male. He came back to show us his family." Selena was so happy that Travis didn't tell her that male skunk had probably had dozens of families by now. But she was right, it was the male skunk coming to visit.
"Yep, that was him all right. I'm sure he misses you just as much as you missed them when we had to let them go."
"Yes. But we didn't so much as let them go as they just left."
"Baby, they're skunks, not domestic animals, even though you made pets out of them." Travis pushed his foot, and the swing continued to move.
She cut her eyes at him. "Well, that old barn was the only place you let me go for weeks."
Travis looked down at her and raised her chin with his finger. He gave her a slow, leisurely kiss. "I wanted you chained to my bed." He searched her eyes. "I still do.
Is the baby asleep yet?"