Authors: Shareef Jaudon
“Good. Now listen young man. I have a granddaughter who’s about the same age as you and I would love for ya’ll to meet. Maybe you two could go to the movie house or something. I keep tellin’ her she’s wasting her time tryna find a decent man in these night clubs. See now here I am jus’ comin’ out to trim my bushes and I done met a decent handsome man not 20 feet from my porch.”
My mom interjected, “Ms. Rose, he’s already taken.”
She leaned back from the fence, “Well that’s good for him and bad for my granddaughter. I told her aint no good men partying in them night clubs. The hardworking men are home sleep. They too tired to be up all times of night.”
Gloria came and grabbed my arm, “Ok Ms. Rose
we’ll see you later. It was nice talking to you.”
“Ok Glo. It was nice talkin’ to you, and it was a pleasure to meet you also young man.”
“The pleasure was all mine Ms. Rose take care.”
“You too suga.” She shuffled off.
Gloria walked with me toward my car. I was still holding the unwanted check as we stood next to the driver’s side door.
“That woman will talk your ear off if you don’t stop her.”
“
You aint one of them crack dealers are you
?” I did my best impression of Ms. Rose.
Gloria busted out laughing at my old lady voice and slapped my chest lightly.
“You sound jus’ like her!”
We shared a laugh at my brief comedic moment before I handed her the check again.
Gloria smiled showing her deep dimples. “I told you I can’t accept that baby. You keep that, you keep that to take care of Angelique and my grandchild.”
“I want you to have it and I’m not takin’ no for an answer.”
I grabbed her hand and placed the rectangle shaped piece of paper in her soft palm.
“It’s time for you to relax and enjoy life. You’ve been through enough.” I kissed her cheek gently.
I could see her brown eyes begin to mist over as she looked down at her hand. She looked up at me as the tears collected in the bottom of her eyes.
“Thank you son.”
“You’re welcome mom.”
1-800 Bitch
While Tyce was at his mom’s house I was upstairs putting the finishing touches on the baby’s room. We decided to go with neutral colors that would be appropriate for a little girl or boy. Only my doctor knew the sex of the baby and we told her specifically not to tell us because we wanted it to be a surprise.
The room was filled with everything a new born would need and then some. Tyce already bought three car seats for each of our vehicles and the highchair was posted up in the kitchen. The baby wasn’t even born yet and he or she was already a millionaire. A week after he found out I was pregnant he went to the safe and took out a million in cash. He took the money to the bank and put it directly in his safe deposit box. When the time came-he planned on opening up an account with all three of our names on it. The only thing he was waiting on was the third name to add to the account.
After I was finished in the bedroom, I made my way to the pool taking my cell phone along with me. I planned on soaking up the sunshine and setting a bitch straight while sipping on raspberry flavored ice tea. I stripped down to my birthday suit, rubbed cocoa butter all over my body including my swollen belly, sat my big ass down in a lounge chair, and dialed Dallas’s number.
I prayed she wouldn’t pull a disappearing act and not answer my call. My prayers were answered when she picked up on the first ring.
“Hello dear. You miss me?” Dallas asked sarcastically.
“Bitch please. Pause the games. This aint high school.”
Dallas laughed. “If it was you’d be the fat girl tryna make the cheerleading squad.”
“Well you’d be the school skank. And for the record you wish you could be me. You wish you were carrying Tyce’s baby. I know it jus’ chaps your clit that he’s my baby daddy and not yours. So put the brakes on the fat jokes you basic ass bitch!”
Angelique couldn’t see it, but Dallas’s face was twisted with an evil stare. That last comment cut deep cuz it was true.
“I’m not gonna be too many more bitches. Why the fuck you callin’ me anyway?” Dallas snapped back.
“You know why I’m callin’ you!”
“I’m a basic bitch remember…so I’ma need you to clarify.”
I put the glass of iced tea on the ground.
“STAY AWAY FROM MY MAN!”
“He’s only with you cuz I haven’t taken him yet. The key word here is
yet
. You know in your heart that he didn’t jus’ stop lovin’ me. You can’t turn love on and off like a faucet and you’re jus’ trippin’ cuz sooner or later Tyce is gonna come my way and get
wet
.”
I looked at the phone in anger. I had an urge to throw it in the pool, but stopped myself.
“I aint worried about you or your lying ass pussy. Tyce knows where home is and he’s here with me
every
fuckin’ night.”
Dallas spoke in a child like voice. “You silly rabbit. My legs are open in the daytime too. I would love to chat with you some more but unfortunately I have to go.”
“You think this is a game, bitch I aint playin’ with you! I will fuckin’ kill you if…”
I halted my words when I realized Dallas had hung up. My body was surging with rage. I looked down and saw my stomach bounce a little from a kick. ‘Shit, even the baby wanted to whoop Dallas’s ass’, I thought to myself.
I leaned back in the chair attempting to calm down by massaging my tender breasts gently. I replayed the heated conversation in my mind. I was mad at myself for allowing Dallas to piss me off. There were just some people that really knew how to push your buttons…and for me Dallas was that person.
Being insecure was a foreign concept in my world, but never the less here I was sitting pool side tripping on Dallas’s trifling ass! The truth was I was sweating her comments because I hadn’t fucked Tyce for months. I couldn’t explain it, but I just wasn’t in the mood. Sex was the last thing on my mind these days. I literally had no energy for anything else besides being pregnant. Shit, sometimes I fell asleep during commercial breaks when I was watching my favorite shows.
Don’t get it twisted; I still loved making love to Tyce. I missed his dick and his body, but
my
bloated body was like
hell
naw
.
My worst fear was that he would cheat on me cuz my pussy was MIA. I mean he never complained about it. I had no reason to think he would-but you never know.
This shit was stressing me out.
Damn it felt like I’d been pregnant forever.
I wanted a cigarette so fucking bad.
I felt fat.
Lunch Time
I must have sat in my truck for at least an hour before I went into the restaurant. I sat there in silence going back and forth with myself. Several times I started the engine to leave and several times I turned it off to stay. What the hell was I doing here?
Despite my better judgment I found myself walking into the crowded restaurant looking for my ex. I’d seen her looking extra good sitting in an over sized corner booth. We made steady eye contact as I moved in her direction. What the hell was I doing here?
As soon as I got to her she cracked a wicked smile that made my dick twitch. It was an involuntary reaction; although she faked a pregnancy and lied to my face…she was still fine.
“Hey handsome. I thought I was gonna hafta to eat alone.”
“You almost did and I can’t guarantee that I’ll stay.” I sat down and sighed.
“Well thank you for comin’ anyway. It means a lot to me.”
Dallas brushed a loose curl from her face as she reached for a menu. She was still wearing the bracelet I bought her when we were together.
She nodded her head toward the private area. “You remember that room?”
I glanced over. “Yeah, I remember.”
The waitress interrupted the brief stroll down porno lane with her bubbly introduction.
“Hello my name is Kayla and I’ll be taking care of you today. Can I start you off with any…” She paused her speech and smiled at us. “I remember you two.”
Dallas looked at me and grinned. She licked her lips as she recalled the public sex situation. I cracked a shy grin as the waitress looked at me with her left eyebrow raised.
Kayla pointed to the private room, “Would you like me to seat you in that section?”
She smiled showing the cute gap in the middle of her two front teeth.
“Naw lil bit we ok right here. Sex aint on the menu today.” I corrected.
Dallas shot me a disapproving look, which I ignored.
“That’s too bad, cuz I was kicking myself last time for not askin’ if I could join in on the fun. That has never happened to me before. All I get are horny old men hitting on me talkin’ ‘bout I’ll take a side order of you.” She rolled her slanted eyes.
Dallas looked up at her. “Well why didn’t you ask?”
Kayla’s eyes got big as the unexpected question caught her off guard.
“Ummmm honestly I was kinda in shock. When I looked at you I jus’ figured that your man wasn’t into thick women, so I jus’ kept my mouth shut and did my job.”
I furrowed my eyebrows, “What? You thought I didn’t like a woman with a few extra pounds?”