The Ties that Bind (Kingdom) (21 page)

“Mom’s right, Daddy. No judgments. We promise you that we will not judge you. All you need to do is tell us.”

The women seemed to be in total accord as they both turned their backs on Nixon, their attention wholly concentrated on Mason.

Seeming to make up his mind now that he was faced with the support of his wife and daughter, Mason began to speak.

“I was young, I was foolish, I was in love, and I was spurned for my cousin.”

“Mason!”

“Let me speak, Taryn. This is what you wanted. You all want me to speak, so let me speak.

When I met you, I was only about six months away from sitting for my bar exams. When I met you, it blew my mind. Just like that you blew my mind. I remember thinking,
this is my wife
. For a while, I knew you liked me too. Oh, I realized you didn’t feel the same way that I did, but I knew that given time you would come to. The signs were already there.

Guess who the first person I told about you was? My cousin, the man I looked up to more than even my own father. I told him all about you and the next thing I knew, he had somehow gotten to you. I knew you had met someone else, but I didn’t know who.

When I found out I think I came as close to murder as a man could without actually committing the act.

I went on a bender the likes of which I never want to experience again. When I came to my senses my exams were looming, and everything I had learned somehow decided this was the time to elude me. So I did something really foolish, you have to understand that the bar exam in California is one of the most difficult in the country. Many prominent figures have failed it on numerous occasions. For me failure wasn’t an option. I had a plan. Although I had been deterred from my path, I had an overriding need to pass on my first attempt. Doing so would stand me in good stead for the future.

At that time, I felt I had lost so much of who I was, what I wanted, so I did something extremely foolish. I broke into the examinations office, and I stole and copied the final exam paper. Back then it was different. Things weren’t as technologically secure as they are now. Surprisingly, in the end it was all really quite easy.

After I got the papers for days one and three, which are essay based questions, I spent all my time cramming the information I needed in order to pass my bar exams. To this day I still don’t know how I got away with it.

Nixon had keys to my place, and when I got home from my exam, he was sitting in my apartment with the stolen exam papers in his hands. I knew I had hidden them away, but he had obviously gone through my things and found them.

That’s when he told me about Taryn’s pregnancy. He told me I was going to woo her and convince her to marry me, or he was going to expose me. He took the papers with my notes written all over them. Why I didn’t fight him, I still don’t know. I’m bigger than he is, so the chances are that I would have come out on top.”

At this point, Mason paused. Steve saw Mason’s faraway look and correctly assumed that he had reverted back to the precise moment in time where he and Nixon had been engaged in the ultimatum that would shape his life. The choice had been his, Mason could have fought and in all possibility gained the upper hand, or he could have relented. Mason had chosen the latter of his two options. The reason for his decision was clear to Steve. He understood that for Mason it had been all about Taryn. Because of his feelings for her, here they were, all these years later engaged in a tapestry that encompassed two generations and a multitude of hurt and misunderstandings.

“He still has those damning papers,” Mason began to speak again, “as for the rest, well I suppose you can all guess what the implications would be if what I had done ever came out. My platform on young black men accomplishing whatever they want through hard work and determination would be shot to hell. All that I had worked for would be nothing but a sham. So God forgive me, I capitulated.”

“Well said, Mason, although you and I both know that your decision wasn’t solely about the platform you wanted to take as a mentor to young black men.” Nixon interjected once Mason stopped speaking, his condescending smirk on full display. “So I’m sure you can all see that, should this information ever come to light the illustrious career of the famous Mason Richards would be shot to hell. Oh, and for the record, don’t test me. None of you should test me because I will expose him without a second thought.”

“Why, Nixon... why would you do such a thing?” Taryn asked, her disbelief at Nixon’s actions evident in her question.

“Because I can, that’s why.”

“That’s it? That’s all you’ve got?” Steve asked incredulously. “These people have been allowing you to wreak havoc through their lives for over thirty years because you’ve been threatening them with a piece of paper? Man get the hell outta here!”

Steve couldn’t help laughing, especially when he saw Nixon’s change of expression.
Yeah, that’s right, old man. The revelation of this deep not so dark family secret is your undoing
.

Not for a moment did Steve condone Mason’s actions. However, in his opinion, he had suffered enough for his deceit. In a strange way, and for the first time, Steve could actually relate to him.

He had manipulated his family almost to the point of extinction. Yet he must have been doing something right for all these years, something that Steve was still struggling to see, because when his distress at what he had done all those years ago was about to be revealed, his family had been standing at his side.

Still chuckling, Steve said nothing more. He wanted to see how Mason would handle the situation. His actions would be the determining factor as to what Steve’s future actions would be.

“I think you’ve done enough damage for one day, Nixon. Please leave our home.”

To Steve’s mind Mason sounded weary, but he was still deferential in his tone. Steve supposed that Nixon having the upper hand for so many years, and Mason living in fear of all he had worked for crumbling before him, was a curse that couldn’t be broken in a day.

“Suppose I refuse?”

“Don’t push it, old man.” Steve answered for the whole family. He was through playing, and whatever Nixon saw on his face seemed to be enough to help him come to a decision.

Leaving his post behind the bar, Nixon again straightened his clothing and made his way to the door. As he opened it, he turned towards the occupants of the room, and gave a flourishing bow that mocked them even with his departure.

Watching him, Steve knew Nixon was the ultimate showman, he needed a stage and an audience. With that realization, Steve knew exactly what he needed to do.

Chapter 22

After Nixon’s departure, Taryn sat at one side of the couch, her daughter at the other, and watched her husband. She had missed so much. While she had been lost in her world of drink, her daughter had grown into a woman, and her husband had been holding all their lives together despite Nixon’s constant interference and threat.

“I think it’s time we talked, Mason, you too Hope. I mean really talk... about
everything
.”

“I think I should leave.” Steve told the room at large.

“Please stay, Steve. In a roundabout way, our actions have also impacted on you. Please sit down.”

At his look of uncertainty, Taryn spoke to him again. “Please. This is very important to me, to all of us.”

Waiting until he had taken a seat, Taryn again turned her head in her husband’s direction. “Mason, will you please hear me out?”

“So, all it took was my complete humiliation for you to finally want to have a conversation with me. If I had known, maybe I would have instigated this whole sordid scene years ago.”

The sarcasm dripping from Mason’s voice wasn’t lost on Taryn, and she had to bite her tongue to hold back a retort. She knew she should be used to Mason’s disdain of her, but in actuality it still gnawed at her whenever she was confronted with it.

Refusing to bite, Taryn became aware that she needed a drink. Her mouth watered for a taste. The more she thought about it the more the longing grew. So much so that sweat broke out on her back and her hands began to tremble. Wetting her lips she fought her internal demons knowing this was probably her last chance. If she digressed there was a high probability she would lose everything. She had already lost almost more than she could bear while she had been lost in her alcohol-induced state. Taryn was now determined to make amends for whatever part she had played in the stagnation of their lives.

“I’m an alcoholic, Mason.”

At his scoff of derision, Taryn took a deep breath knowing that she had to begin to break down the walls that were between all of them. Who had erected the walls didn’t matter anymore. They just needed to be removed, so she continued undeterred.

“My name is Taryn Richards, and I’m an alcoholic. It’s been thirty-nine days since I last had a drink.” Throughout her recitation, Taryn’s eyes never once left her husband’s back and so she saw the sudden jerk of his shoulders in reaction to her words. He might refuse to look at her, but she was determined that he would hear her.

“I went to my first group just before our daughter’s wedding. I was scared, Mason. Our daughter was getting married, and I was so scared. What if I shamed her? What if I couldn’t refuse a drink? What if I just kept drinking and drinking in front of all her friends? In front of all your friends.” Turning to look at Hope, Taryn’s eyes were now fixed on her daughter. What she saw in Hope’s posture confirmed to her that the journey she and her only child had to make would be a long one.

Gathering all her sincerity, Taryn spoke to her daughter from her heart. “I couldn’t have borne it if I had humiliated you in that way my precious one. So I went to the program. But I didn’t make it. I wasn’t strong enough. This house was full of alcohol. Even though I wanted to stop more than anything, I couldn’t bring myself to get rid of my stash. So I ended up having a drink, and then another, all the while hating myself even more because of it. Before I knew it, I was back to where I had been for so many years.

Mason, I now accept my weakness, my illness. I acknowledge it, and I own it.” Turning from her daughter back to her husband, Taryn continued, “I’ve wronged you, Mason, almost from the moment we met. Although I didn’t know that you and Nixon were even acquaintances, I still wronged you. I knew how you felt about me, and I didn’t care enough about your feelings. For that, I’m truly sorry, and I ask that you please try to forgive me.” With her declaration, Taryn came to the end of her attempt at making amends for the way she had done all those years ago.

Mason still showed her his back. Hope’s expression had also remained unchanged. Glancing quickly at Steve, Taryn saw an almost imperceptible nod of his head. She had his support.

“Mason, I swear that the day M.J. died I didn’t leave our children alone so that I could be with Nixon. He barged his way in, and he attacked me. Hope what you saw were my attempts at getting him off me. I had just managed to get him out of the house when I heard your screams.”

Jumping to her feet, Taryn looked as though she were reliving that day all over again and her agitation rose. Her faraway look a telltale sign she was again ensconced in memory of her loss. Tearing at the collar of her sweater a frightened look overtook Taryn’s visage, as she was once again lost in the horror that had been her reality of that fateful day. No matter how she tried to push away the thoughts of what had taken place the day M.J. had died, they refused to be relinquished. Even as Taryn was lifted from her feet her and gently placed on a seat, her anguish refused to abate.

Someone smoothly applied pressure to her back bending her over until her head almost touched her knees. Only then did her breathing begin to normalize. Pulling huge gulps of air into her lungs, Taryn became acutely aware of her position, it was uncomfortable.

Pushing herself upwards, Taryn sat up in the chair. Hope knelt beside her, a tissue in one hand and a glass in the other. Unable to hide her look of horror, Taryn recoiled from the glass.

“It’s okay, Mom. It’s only water... just water.” Hope assured her.

“Thank you, baby.”

“Let me help you, Mom.”

With a nod of her head, Taryn placed her still shaking hand over her daughter’s and together they guided the glass to her lips.

“Thank you, Hope.” Taryn said, taking the opportunity of being in such close proximity to her daughter to place a soft kiss against her hand. It had been a long time since Hope had ventured this close to her, and she was unwilling to let the opportunity pass without touching her.

Taryn couldn’t help but offer up a tentative smile. If the expression on Hope’s face was any indication, she had just shocked her daughter, who quickly rose to her feet and withdrew.

“I think I’m okay now. If you will all listen, I’d like to continue. I have things I need to say.”

Neither Mason nor Hope responded. Taryn could tell that Hope had retreated after her momentary concern for her wellbeing. As for Mason, at least he was now facing the room, but he still occupied his post across the room, detached from them all

“I know I lost my way the day M.J. died. I take full responsibility for his death. I want you all to know that there is not a day that goes by that I don’t ask for his forgiveness. As I’m now asking for yours, both of you. I know it won’t be easy, I don’t even know if it’s possible after all this time, but I’m asking... Hope, Mason, will you both please try to forgive me for M.J.’s death, and not being there when we all needed each other the most?”

Looking between the members of her family, Taryn waited for a response. As the moments ticked by she began to get agitated once again. Unsure of what she had expected, all she knew was that their continued silence wasn’t it.

“Well that was really beautiful, Taryn. Thank you so much. But I’m not ready to forgive you. Since the day I met you, you have been the cause of most of my unhappiness. You chose my cousin over me, and I forgave you, even though you were pregnant with his child I chose you.