Read The Girl Code Online

Authors: Diane Farr

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The Girl Code

Copyright © 2001 by Diane Farr

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means, including information storage and retrieval systems, without permission in writing from the publisher, except by a reviewer who may quote brief passages in a review.

Hachette Book Group,
237 Park Avenue, New York, NY 10017,
Visit our Web site at
www.HachetteBookGroup.com
.

The Warner Books name and logo are trademarks of Hachette Book Group, Inc.

First eBook Edition: December 2008

ISBN: 978-0-316-05495-9

Designed by Leah Lococo Ltd

Contents

Dedication

How Do You Know a Single Girl's Home When You See One?

Introduction

I: You Speaking in Code

Titles

Types of Dates

Stages

Long-Distance Operators

Seasonal Lovers

Before, During, and After

Hairy Situations

Fighting

Gifts

When the Fat Lady Sings

II: The Code of Behavior and Ethics

Girls’ Night Out

Making a Move

First Date Forget -Me -Nots

Rules of the Wild

Shopping at the Mall

Wedding Party Politics

Lines to Never Cross

Tests

Kinds of Love

Chick Tricks

III: The Boy Code

What They Say

What They Do

IV: The Mother Code

The Top Five Laws of The Girl Code

In closing, ladies, I leave you with one last quote:

About the Author

This Book Is Lovingly and Laughingly Dedicated to All the Girls Who Have Helped Me Formulate the Woman I Am Today:

Angie Gore

Lauren Bailey and Siany Davies

Lizette Diresta, Melissa Grant, and Colleen Donovan

Cooper, Anj, Laura, Trish, and Jen

Gail, Martha, and Valerie

Michelle, Becky, and Vicki

Shari, Petra, Jane, and Donna Cohen

Karen Gallagher, Rosalind, Sabrina, and Karin Graz

Nanci Ryder, Amanda Scholer.and Pam Ellis

Terri Kent and Gurmukh Kaur

Amanda Murray

Aunt Kathy, Aunt Sandy, Nena Ferriero, and Kathy Grant

Mommy and Grandma

and My Eternal Best Girlfriend:

Kristin Graziani

And the Very Special Boys Who Have Reared Me to This Point, for Better or Worse:

Michael Kernan

Louie Baldonieri and Barry Littman

Carlos, Kerry, and Omar

Jeff Holder, John Stevens, and Nick Kiriazis

Yosef Brody, Anthony Guerra, and Owen Bailey

David Stanley and Scott Stone

Michael Morrison

Jeradi, Bruno, Backley, Langley.Gilmore and Kelly

Billy, Paul Ryan, and Dad

and The Great Guy Who Told Me

I Should Write This Crap Down:

Kent Wakeford

How Do You Know a Single Girl's Home When You See One?

1. She has way too many shoes and not enough pots or pans.

2. A minimum of five products that men don't recognize are strewn around the bathroom sink.

3. There's the obligatory chair in her bedroom covered by numerous failed outfits.

4. Her fridge contains at least one alcoholic beverage, one low-calorie item, and probably not much else.

5. There are more candles than lightbulbs in every room.

6. Even if she's thirty, you can still find a packet of ramen noodles somewhere in her cabinets.

7. There is no answering machine (because she knows voice mail is more discreet).

8. Somewhere there is a backpack, in case she needs to make use of a Eurail pass just once (or again).

9. There is a personal computer or a fax machine in evidence, but not a vacuum cleaner to be found.

10. There is a nightstand with a drawer, near the bed, to hide all sorts of things in.

(P.S. And if she's having a lucky streak, she's not there in the morning.)

If you meet three of these requirements, don't have a wedding band, and no longer live with your parents:
then this is the book for you.
You should probably read this whole book before going out this weekend, to remind yourself you're not alone.

Introduction

Get On

Your

Broom

and Go

T
his handy guide and phrase book was created to unite and amuse all women by pointing out our common vocabulary—all the slang terms, euphemisms, common wisdom, and girl speak we've picked up along the way. As such, this book is essentially an homage to friendship and should serve as a reminder that good girlfriends and laughter can get you through
anything.

Part One of this book is a dictionary of common language that all single women share,
which is born of the heartache and laughter that later we call “wisdom.” It is presented here as simple terms that you and your friends might use when philosophizing about the ups and downs of the dating roller coaster that we all ride for an unspecified time. These are the homespun terms and shorthand references that you begin collecting in high school, further cultivate in college, reinvent with your first apartment roommates, and finally perfect somewhere between twentyfive and forty. Laugh with your fellow females over this vernacular we share, but don't tell the boys…if you give them too much information, they may use it against you later.

The Girl Code
is also a long-overdue public airing of how women behave in packs—whether it be in dorm rooms or boardrooms, coffee shops or bathrooms, and a few boundaries that we need to draw between us about men.

Part Two is the implied code of behavior, ethics, and essential do's and don'ts
that all you cool girls live by. As every girl knows, together we are a powerful force that abides by our own rules. If you are reading this book you've been living under these unspoken laws for at least eighteen years, but if you somehow missed out on why you keep losing girlfriends and botching up relationships, this should explain it. Welcome to the bible of being a girl's girl. These codes can and should be held against you in a court of public opinion by the sorority of sisters you hang out with.

Let's put it this way, ladies: If
Lord of the Flies
was about a group of girls stranded on a desert island, Piggy would have been lynched within three days, and this book will clearly explain why.

Most important, this book is not about how to “catch” a man.

We have a deodorant made for women but we can refuse to ever wear parity hose if we so choose. If we work hard, never marry, and renounce the right to bear children, no one will even look twice. We certainly don't need another book telling us how “tricking a man” into our lives is good for us.

This book is intended to be a sigh of relief, a reminder to all single girls that they are certainly not alone. And most of us are so by choice, whether we know it or not. This solo time in your life, dedicated just to you, should include space to make mistakes and have many more laughs with your girlfriends.

Married women will also enjoy these pages,
as you recall the days before finding your soul mate, life partner, husband, or dirty old man. It's a dose of the reality of dating life and a healthy antidote to your overromanticized memories of it. You will also find that most codes of behavior between you and your girlfriends remain the same, even though your single friends tell you it's different now, just because you're off the market.

There are many definitions in this book, but let's begin with two important ones:

SINGLE:
Being a single girl doesn't mean that you are loveless; it simply means that you are unmarried and that you still think of yourself first and foremost (which you have every right to do). You may be in a relationship and expect to one day marry your current date, but for the time being you don't share the same domicile or the same name with him.

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