Authors: Pintip Dunn

The Darkest Lie (27 page)

Epilogue

I stand in the middle of the locker corridor. My palms are sweaty, but I refuse to wring them. My stomach turns, but I refuse to run.

The hallway begins to fill. Alisara leans against her locker, shooting me supportive smiles. Mackenzie lounges at the end of the corridor, hip cocked in her trademark I-couldn't-care-less pose. But if she didn't care, she wouldn't still be hanging around. Especially after I made her get up an hour early to help me this morning.

A lot has happened in the last two weeks. Liam Kessler is in jail, awaiting his trial. The prosecutor has sworn to bring him up on charges of everything from murder to child pornography to statutory rape. Once they know what they're looking for, the Lakewood police, it seems, aren't half bad at their jobs. Of course, it didn't hurt that Liam is a psychopath and a pack rat, to boot. A simple raid of his cabin uncovered my mom's hair, as well as albums of his victims' pornographic photos.

Mr. Swift hasn't been back at school, and rumor has it that he's looking for jobs in another town. I don't blame him. He may be innocent, but it's hard to live down even a whiff of scandal in Lakewood.

I'm more grateful than ever that I didn't actually accuse Mr. Willoughby. Especially after he brought me the contents of my mother's wallpapered box. It seems Liam neglected to bring me all of her possessions. In addition to the snow globe, my mother also left a letter in a sealed envelope. Not THE final letter, but my birthday letter, the one that she writes me every year. I guess she wrote it a month early last year, and her words are as special as ever. Even more special because I know, once and for all, that this is the last letter I'll ever receive from her.

My dad and I have been going to my mom's grave site together on the weekends. I've convinced him to cut down his visits to once a week. Sometimes we talk, and sometimes we work companionably in silence, cleaning the bird poop off the slab of marble. I still cook dinner every night, but he does his own laundry now. And last Sunday, he whipped up a batch of biscuits the way he used to when my mother was still alive.

New York is no longer off the table, even though I haven't settled on a subject for the Parsons Challenge. My mom, perhaps. The way I've forgotten myself, maybe. Or something else entirely, something much less abstract. The application deadline is still months away, so I have plenty of time to decide.

As for the Davidsons, Briony has a big cast on her ankle. I ran into her in the restroom once, and she was sobbing her mascara down the drain. She wrapped her arms around me for five whole minutes and then left without saying a word. But later, I saw her in the lunchroom, surrounded by her friends, laughing or at least pretending to. So I hopeâI prayâone day she'll be okay.

And Sam . . . well, he got his big story, after all. Reporters camped out on my front lawn, like they did six months ago. And like last time, I refused to talk to any of them. Except one. It was the least I could do, since he was the one who called both my dad and the cops after I didn't come out of Liam's cabin. I don't know if the exclusive will be enough to win him the scholarship, but at least now he's got a shot.

Which is more than I can say for us. Other than the interview, we've barely spoken. And I get it. We worked together to bring down a sexual predator and murderer, but I still haven't given him what he really wants.

Until now.

Every person who walks into the corridor stops and stares. At me, standing in front of Sam's locker. But mostly at the hundreds of papers taped to the walls. Under their glances, my knees tremble. My ankles shake. My toes shiver. But this is necessary. This is part of the plan. The more onlookers I have, the better.

When Sam arrives, a few minutes before the bell, practically the entire senior class is waiting.

He walks through the front door, in his elbow and kneepads, carrying his helmet. Did he ride the scooter to school today? Or has he discovered a new mode of transportation altogether? I hope I have the chance to find out.

The crowd parts, creating a path for him to walk straight to his locker. Straight to me.

“CeCe?” he says as he approaches. “What's going on?”

Instead of answering, I gesture to the papers Mackenzie and I taped up this morning. The drawings I did of him the first day we met. Of his glasses, his bare ankles, his broad chest. And a dozen more sketches I drew in the following weeks. Of Sam flailing on his rollerblades. Sam with a black robber-cap pulled over his ears. Sam smiling a moment after kissing me. Almost every memory I've had with him, I've drawn.

And now I've posted them all for the world to see.

“What's this?” he asks softly.

“This is how I feel about you.” I don't bother trying to keep my voice quiet. The way my classmates are straining, they'll pick up every word, anyway. “These drawings are the very heart of me. You are the heart of me. And I don't care who knows it.”

His deep, black eyes pierce into me. Like they did that first day. As I hope they'll do for many days and weeks and months to come.

“Do you mean it?” he murmurs.

In response, I crash my lips into his. He lifts me high off the ground, and I'm smiling and laughing and kissing at the same time.

The people whoop and clap and cheer. I know they're staring at me. I know, once again, I'm the center of attention.

But you know what? With Sam's lips warm on mine, all I can think is:

Let them stare.

A READING GROUP GUIDE

THE DARKEST LIE Pintip Dunn

About This Guide

The suggested questions are included to enhance your group's reading of Pintip Dunn's

The Darkest Lie
.

Discussion Questions

1.
At the beginning of the book, CeCe refuses to let Mr. Willoughby flip through the drawings in her self-examination journal, even if it means receiving a zero for the assignment. And yet, by the end of the story, she posts drawings of Sam in the senior locker corridor for the entire school to see. What changed? What lessons did CeCe learnâand how?

2.
CeCe and Liam discuss how their feelings toward their parents can be a mixture of love and hate. Do you believe these two emotions can be experienced simultaneously, or does one always take precedence over the other? Have you ever felt this way?

3.
Discuss the various ways that characters grieve in this story. Is there one correct way of grieving?

4.
What does “scandal” mean? Does this definition change, depending on the size of the community? This story takes place in the fictional town of Lakewood, Kansas, with a population of 10,000, where many of the high school seniors have known each other since preschool. Would this story be different if it took place in a city? If so, in what ways?

5.
CeCe seems to be the object of widespread harassment and bullying. Many times, she'll cite “the football team” or “Tommy Farrow's friends” as the perpetrators, but she really only identifies Justin Blake and Mackenzie Myers. What differenceâif anyâdoes it make if the harassment comes from two people or several? Is one type more devastating than the other?

6.
What constitutes harassment? In the story, CeCe distinguishes between “stupid pranks” and something which should be reported to the authorities. Is there a difference? CeCe has her own reasons for not wanting to go to the police. Where should the line be drawn?

7.
Sam states that bullies count on their victims being weak. Once the bullied takes a stand, however, the bullies lose their power. Is this true? Have you ever witnessed an example of this happening?

8.
How does the Internet affect and/or change the nature of bullying? Some say the Internet can turn any place into a small community. Do you believe this is true? If so, does that mean the definition of “scandal” is affected as well?

9.
Characters are manipulated in numerous ways in this storyâwhether it is through charm or fear or guilt. Is there a particular method that is more effective than the others? How can you identify when you are being manipulated? Or is that the very definition of being manipulatedâthat you don't know?

10.
When CeCe and Briony talk about posing for explicit photos, Briony defends her boyfriend by saying that he promises the photos will be for his private use. Is this a valid defense?

11.
There are a number of secret relationships in this book. Sam states very clearly that he has no interest in being part of a secret relationship, but is the desire for privacy necessarily wrong? Are there any good reasons for keeping a relationship secret?

12.
CeCe states that when her mother was alive, she could use her mother's forgiveness to absolve her own guilt. But now that her mother's not aroundâand therefore cannot bestow her forgivenessâCeCe will have to do something much harder and forgive herself. Do you think this is true? Do we use other people's forgiveness as a way to erase our blame?

Photo Credit: Elizabeth Chomas

When
Pintip Dunn
's first-grade teacher asked her what she wanted to be when she grew up, she replied, “an author.” Although she has pursued other interests over the years, this dream has never wavered. Pintip graduated from Harvard University, with an A.B. in English Literature and Language. She received her J.D. at Yale Law School, where she was an editor of the
Yale Law Journal
. She now lives in Maryland with her husband and three children. Pintip is a 2012 Golden Heart finalist and a 2014 double-finalist. She is a member of Romance Writers of America, Washington Romance Writers, YARWA, and The Golden Network. Visit her online at pintipdunn.com, or follow her on Twitter @pintipdunn.

This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are products of the author's imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.

KENSINGTON BOOKS are published by

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eISBN-13: 978-1-4967-0359-0
eISBN-10: 1-4967-0359-6
First Kensington Electronic Edition: July 2016

ISBN: 978-1-4967-0358-3

ISBN-10: 1-4967-0358-8