Authors: Jeanette Lynn
"Listen up, you walking blonde flotation device!" I snarled, pointing at her warningly, "Make a derogatory comment about my weight again and
this
fat little ass will squash you and send your barely fed skeleton straight to hell!"
"She called you fat?" George asked frowning, just now tuning into to 'Candy FM, the whiniest voice you'll ever hear!'
George glared at Candy and unlatched her from his arm.
"Don't talk about her like that! She's my future wife, Miss Beyburn, and I'll not tolerate her being talked about like that!!" he demanded sternly, cowering his little tart with just a look.
A tart
and
a weenie!
Oh joy!
Really picked a keeper, George!
"You didn't have a problem with her polishing your gherkin earlier," I clipped at him bluntly, taking pleasure in the slight flinch as my barb struck.
"I told you Pum... um... Willy, I..."
"What? You just what? Your pants fell down and she was just checking your dick for dust?!"
"No! You don't... I just... Don't leave me!" he howled out pitifully.
I am not impressed... to say the least and I'm sure it's apparent on my face.
"It's really not what it looks like! I swear!" he promised, keeping his hand pinned on the door frame, so I couldn't open it up.
I cringed at the desperation I heard in his voice.
Do I look like an idiot to him?!
I slowly released the door handle and pivoted on my feet, turning around to square off against George for the last time.
"Really?" I said quietly, menace lacing my voice, "So, I didn't just walk in to
your
office to surprise you with a romantic holiday and find
your
secretary sucking
you
off?"
George turned beet red and shook his head 'no' frantically, his hands reaching out to grip my arms as he pulled me towards him and latched himself onto me like a boa constrictor.
"Don't leave me! I need you!" he pleaded, outright begging me.
"Release me!" I shrieked as I struggled in his arms, trying to wriggle out of his stifling embrace.
"You don't understand!" he wailed, trying to pull back enough to kiss my face, Candy's lipstick still smeared on them.
I snapped my teeth at him when he tried.
He yelped and aborted that idea, his breath catching on a gasp, his hazel eyes turning hot and wanting in the face of my fury.
I did a double take at the sexual heat gleaming in them and blinked a couple of times in disbelief, a little shocked at the sudden arousal on his end.
What the hell...
I had a sudden flash back of all the arguments we'd gotten in over the years and the crazy make up sex that had always followed.
How insatiable he was right after, the passion it'd brought out in him.
"You're the only person who understands," he whispered in my ear.
I tried to pull away again, his hold tightening even more around me.
Adrenaline started to pump through me as fear started to set in.
"You want
me
, for me, Willy! You're the only one I love. I'll ever love. It's you or no one! You're the only woman who's ever had enough guts to stand up to me, doesn't put up with any of my shit. You complete me, Pumpk... Willy."
"You're completely nuts, is what you are! Now get off me!" I growled out, frustrated and a little worried at his babbling.
"You always let me have my wicked way with you," he grinned, referring to some of our more kinky forays into sex.
"Gah! Shut up!" I grunted, grimacing.
"I was your first. Remember, Willy? You let me love your body, let me love you... all night long," he whispered trying to nibble at my ear.
Blech!
I flinched and pushed up against him, trying to knock him off balance. It backfired, though, his sturdy frame taking the shift of weight distribution without so much as a wobble.
Damn fitness freak!
"You make me want you so bad, Willy," he admitted quietly, his voice turning into a husky murmur as he thrust himself against me suggestively, a squeak slipping past my lips as he chuckled heatedly.
If he's thinking
this
will somehow make me forget the last twenty minutes and jump into his kooky arms...
he can guess again!
Dream on, jerk face!
This lady is
done
!
I renewed my struggles, squirming frantically, trying to dislodge his arms from around me.
"This was supposed to bring us closer together, baby, not tear us apart! You were supposed to catch us and rant at
her
, not
me!
You're not even going to try and win me back? You're just going to call it quits? Give up on us?"
He seemed genuinely upset.
"Why would I fight for a cheating asshole?! You aren't worth it!"
I glared at him.
"You don't mean that," he said pouting at me.
He's serious!
Ack!
I managed to get my hands between us and pulled on his tie, hoping to tighten it somehow and strangle his crazy ass.
"You didn't even know I was coming in today! It was supposed to be a surprise! You couldn't have possibly..."
"Yeah,
well...
my boss told Candy and she told me," he said shrugging his shoulders nonchalantly, a grin playing at his lips as he tried to steal a kiss again.
The lipstick and the smile made him look like the creepy psycho guy in all the twisted horror flicks.
No amount of handsome could take away the creep factor right now.
"You're sick!" I yelled, gripping his tie in a death grip. "You cheated on me so I would call you out and we could just what? Forget about it and jump each other's bones?" I asked incredulously, my sea green eyes like saucers as he regarded me seriously.
"You make it sound so crappy when you say it like
that
," he complained, completely unperturbed with what he'd planned, with what he'd done,
with what he's doing right now!
"You Bastard!" I screeched and stomped on the toes of his fancy
Italian shoes.
It startled him so much he let go for a minute and I grabbed my trusty purse and slugged him with it, swinging it as hard as I could, enjoying the 'thwack' as it smashed into his face.
Take that, pretty boy!
"Willy!" he shrieked as he clutched at his nose, trying to stop the bleeding with one hand, the other still reaching out for me.
I hurried into my truck and engaged the door lock button, ignoring George's frantic bangs on my window as I started the engine and put it into drive.
George jumped on top of the hood, eliciting a scream from me as he suctioned himself to the front windshield.
"Get off my baby, you crazy bastard!" I yelled, turning the washer fluid on him as he tried to straddle the hood and plead with me at the same time.
Oh, my god!
He's lost his friggin’ mind!
Help!
Employees were gathering around outside to watch the insanity unfold and Candy started trying to yank him down by the cuff of his pant leg.
He ignored her and tried to see me through the steady stream of washer fluid I kept pelting him with.
Note to self: Replace washer fluid later.
Fifteen fun filled minutes later
,
a cop car pulled up and a uniformed officer stepped out, his frown turning into a scowl as he took in a disheveled, lipstick wearing, washer fluid covered George.
Then he took in Candy pulling on his pant cuff frantically, the other hand still clutching the ring tightly and then me in my truck, screeching at George, blasting my horn and tapping my windshield to mime at him to get the hell off.
He must have thought we were all nuts!
Twenty minutes later, as we each explained our own sides of the story, George was handcuffed for ignoring the officer's command to quit trying to approach me, or even talk to me, and stay the hell put,
for the millionth time.
I am completely and officially ready to wash my hands of this whole drama,
I thought wearily, rubbing my forehead.
Good bye George. Good bye Candy. Good bye nice police officer. This girl has had enough!
According to George, he was attempting to
'get to me, before I could leave him'
.
I
’d ran behind the second officer and cowered as the very nice first officer had tackled George when he’d rushed towards me, once again, and that’s when he cuffed him, carting him towards the back seat of the cop car as George yelled at me, promising he'd
'come to me'
and how he would
'love me forever'
.
I shuddered at the serious, intent look in his eyes.
There was a scary promise in his words, echoing the sentiment in his eyes, as he pleaded and begged me to wait for him, swearing he knew it was only a matter of time and I would come around.
He was seriously thinking that I'd take him back.
He started
badly
reciting Shakespeare, mangling and jumbling it into confusing nonsense, then singing praises on various parts of my body and what he plans to do to them.
I put my hands over my face to hide my very red, very embarrassed mug from everyone.
"He's never acted like this before, I swear," I told the officer next to me quietly as he finished taking my statement.
He looked at me sympathetically and smiled a little.
"Sometimes some people just...
snap
," he said making the universal sign for he's gone 'coo coo beans', his finger twirling around in a circle by his noggin.
George was still yelling weird Romeo and Juliet forever-together type sentiments as they drove away.
How did I not see the crazy?
I mean, really, how did I not?
Gee, you sure know how to pick em, Wilhelmina!
I chastised myself.
Three years together and I just now notice how warped his little mind is?
So, here I am
now,
in the cabin I'd rented for our romantic trip.
What a joke
that's
turned out to be.
I'm by myself, trying to have a happy holiday for one and hopefully give myself a little time to lick my wounds in private.
It
has
been a rather blissfully silent three days though, I reflected.
I found another radio station, this one with less static than the last one and sipped my minty cocoa, savoring the flavor as the hot liquid helped warm me up.
I heard a banging noise outside my window and paused, waiting to see if I could hear anything else.
Nothing.
Hmm...
Must have been the wind.
I hope anyways.
Please don't be bears... and if so, please stay away, Mr. Bear,
I worried.
I tried to think of happier things and resumed my little shimmy and shake, humming along to a man crooning to a woman about staying the night since it was so cold outside.
Chapter 2
I'd just finished putting a few more logs
onto the fire place when the lights in the house flickered and a 'pop' echoed throughout the room, the lights shutting off.
"Awe, crap!" I yelped as I was pitched into complete and total darkness.
Well…
maybe not
complete
darkness…
there is the fire after all…
I thought to myself, glancing over at it.
I set down my mug carefully, next to the radio, and felt my way to the kitchen.
I grabbed the emergency flashlight out of the kitchen junk drawer and clicked it on. Searching out my jacket, boots, beanie and gloves, I prepared myself for a little unplanned trip outside.
I peeked outside and watched for a few minutes, making sure there weren't any animals roaming about.
Coast looks clear, Captain!
I slipped out the back door and made my way to the breaker box, towards the side of the cabin.
Thank you, Mr. Mortem, for giving me a run through on what to do when and
if
a breaker pops before he took off.
I opened the box and frowned as I studied the contents.
"This doesn't make any damn sense," I muttered as I tried to figure out what was going on.
It looks like the box was shut off.
I fiddled with it until I was sure everything was back to the way it had looked when the nice old man had shown me earlier today and started to head back towards the warmth of the cabin.