The Beginning of Never (The Never Trilogy #1) (3 page)

Tears filled
my eyes as I slammed the door behind me, but I immediately forced the tears
back. Nothing else was going to get to me today, especially not an ancient
woman with pitiful bangs and a chinless face. The stomach ache that I’d been
nursing seemed to intensify as I walked down the hallway and towards my locker,
but it was only as I reached it that I felt the light-headedness.

I stopped to
steady my vision, which had turned blurry, then after a few seconds, resumed
walking. I had just reached my locker when I realized that I couldn’t remember
the last time I’d eaten, especially since my period had begun about two days
before. I looked down and was about to reach for the soda bottle when I lost
all feeling. It seemed as if my legs had left the ground and I was being turned
upside down. My grip on the bag loosened, just before my eyes connected with
the ceiling.

When I regained consciousness, I could feel the brightness of the
sunlight that poured in through the window on the side of my face. A sharp ache
throbbed at the side of my head and although my hand felt heavy, I managed to
raise it up to press my fingers against my temple. It took me quite a few more
moments to get my eyes open.

Slowly,
surprise registered in a part of my brain at the sight I met, but I felt too
weak to show any reaction which was okay, because I probably would have
overreacted – again.

The blue-eyed
boy sat on a chair beside the bed, and was watching me. I didn’t know how to
feel at the sight of him there so I just closed my eyes, and tried to swallow
the knot that had formed at the back of my throat. After a few more seconds of
nagging disorientation and self-consciousness, I pushed myself off the bed to
sit upright, but kept my head lowered to shield my face from the sun, and of
course to recover enough to face him.

What is he
doing here?
I wondered,
even though at that moment, that should have been the least of my problems. The
pain at the side of my head seemed to worsen with every passing second, and as
I weakly glanced around the room, it registered that I was in the school
infirmary.

How did I
get here?
I thought, but
only when he answered did I realize that I had said it aloud.

“You fainted
in the hallway,” he said, and again I squinted at the sunlight. Seeing my discomfort,
he got up and gently closed one side of the tall curtain and finally, I was
able to look up. I pushed my hair out of my face.

“Oh good,
you’re awake.” I heard a soft, feminine voice say from behind me, but I didn’t
bother turning around. A woman dressed in white scrubs came over with a glass
of water in one hand, and a smaller cup in the other. She immediately handed
both of them to me.

“I’m Laura,”
she said with a kind smile. “He told me you might have hit your head when you
fell. Do you feel pain anywhere?”

I nodded, and
took the cup from her to see two white pills. “The side of my head,” I said,
but my voice was a low rasp so I cleared my throat and repeated myself.

“They’re
painkillers dear – Ibuprofen,” she explained.

I immediately
popped them into my mouth, and downed the glass of water to flush it down.

“Do you have
any idea why you fainted?” she asked, and I automatically glanced towards the
boy. Seeing him leaning against the wall beside the window with his hands
folded across his chest, and his eyes focused intently on me made me feel
uneasy. It also didn’t help that the sight of him was competing with the
beautiful, stark red maple tree in the yard below, and winning.

My
self-consciousness heightened to a disturbing level as I shifted nervously on
the bed, and suddenly had a problem with my hair not falling down to cover my
face. I subtly tousled it so that it fell, and to cover my intent, grabbed the
glass to take another sip.

“I’m not
sure,” I responded.

“Have you
eaten today?” she asked, and I shook my head.

“When was the
last time you had something to eat?”

I lifted my
eyes to consider the question, and then realized that I couldn’t remember. I
told her so and she was quiet for a few moments.

“When was your
last period?” she asked, and my eyes shot up to her, widened and astounded.
Instead of understanding what my mortification was about, like any normal woman
or nurse for that matter would have, and adjusting her approach to maybe asking
the conspicuous boy in the room to briefly excuse us, or better still, take his
leave, she continued right on and even repeated the question when she probably
assumed that I hadn’t heard her properly.

My head
dropped then, and in a low tone, I answered, “I have it now.”

“Pardon?” she
asked, and my temper flared. But before I could reply in what I doubted was
going to be a polite tone, the boy stepped in.

“She said she
has it now,” he said in a flat tone. My head remained down.

“Well, that
explains a lot,” the nurse finally said. “You’re losing blood so it’s very
important that you maintain a very –”

“I get it.” I
interrupted and rose to my feet. She looked puzzled, but didn’t pursue the
issue any further.

“Come back
instantly if you feel any worse, but right now, I suggest you get something to
eat first. I doubt the cafeteria would still have anything appropriate but it’s
just a few minutes before the end of the school day, so you should have a meal
waiting for you back in the dining hall.”

“She has a sandwich
she can have before then,” the boy offered from behind me, and the corners of
her mouth lifted in a pleased smile.

“Well that’s
brilliant. It should hold her for the walk back. Why not go with her to ensure
that she gets a decent meal?” she said, and my patience snapped. They were
talking about me like I wasn’t even in the room.

“I can take
care of myself,” I said, offended, but she lowered her eyes and muttered loud
enough for me to hear, “Apparently not.”

I rolled my
eyes.

“Well ensure
you have that sandwich now, or we can order something else for you if you
want.”

“That won’t be
necessary, I’m fine,” I said coldly, and with one skeptic look from above her
glasses, she turned around and took her leave. Pushing my hair out of my face,
I took a deep breath before I turned to face the boy.

I didn’t know
what to say to him, and it occurred to me that a ‘thank you’ would have been a
good place to start. But at that moment, I didn’t feel up to it.

The fact that
he was still standing there caused
an unusual
warmth
inside my chest that I might have been able to tolerate, but the head and
stomach ache I still felt made me feel like I was coming down with a fever.
Anyway, he had a flat look on his face that was enough to convince me that he
didn’t expect any gratitude, so I just stood and grabbed my tie from the small
table by the bed. He, on the other hand, returned to his seat and took the
brown bag from the table.

“How did you
know I had fainted?” I found myself asking. He answered as he searched for
something within the bag.

“I met you on
my way to get my wallet,” he said, and he produced a black leather wallet from
the bag. “I forgot it inside.”

“Oh,” I said,
and remembered catching a glimpse of it just before Mrs.
Ibbitson
had come up to me.

He brought out
the sandwich pack and placed it on the table.

“You need to
eat,” he told me, when I just stood there staring at him, and that pulled me
out of my thoughts. It seemed silly, but up until then I hadn’t noticed that he
looked sort of Italian. He was definitely not British. His accent was also very
hard to place. I retrieved my blazer from the foot of the bed.

“I’ll take it
with me,” I said, but he refused.

“Eat it now
before you leave.”

“I’m not going
far,” I said, feeling weaker by the second. “I just need to get my things from
my locker and head to the library. I have an assignment to work on.”

Just then, the
bell that announced the end of the day sounded, and I started to head off.
However, his gentle but firm tug on my arm pulled me back. I landed awkwardly
on the bed.

“Look,” he
said, “I had to carry you across an entire block and up two flights of stairs
to get here. I’m not looking to do it again, and given our history so far
today, it would be highly advisable to put an end to our acquaintance.”

I blinked.
Since I’d met him earlier, that had been the longest sentence he had spoken.

I blinked
again. “Uh, I’m fine,” I said, slightly offended at everything he had just
said. I rose to my feet. “And I can assure you, you won’t ever have to lift me
up again.”

“You’re not
leaving this room until you eat,” he stated, and my mouth dropped open at the
bold threat. Then I became amused.

“Uh, right,” I
said, a malicious smile struggling for dominance across my lips. “Try and stop
me.”

He got up
immediately I turned to leave, and in no time had planted
himself
so close to me that I fell back unceremoniously onto the bed. Furious, I
scrambled to get up, but regretted it again because it brought me too close to
his body, making me have to crane my head to meet his gaze, which by the way,
glowed potently with irritation.

“What the hell
do you think you’re doing?” I stuttered, as I placed my hands on his chest to
push him away. He brushed my hands away.

“Hey!” I
yelled and tried to do it again, but he pulled my hands down, and pinned them
by my sides. I didn’t feel any pain, but the embarrassment at the effortless
way he had stilled me was overwhelming. I was about to jerk my hands away from
his, and then push him away with all my strength, when he suddenly let me go.

He took a few
steps back, and gave me a hard look before reaching for his wallet.

“Fine.
Do
whatever you want,” he said, and walked out of the clinic, leaving me standing
and staring after him, completely rattled.

Strangely, I
grew dizzy after that and had to sit down to stabilize myself. The
light-headedness worsened still, until I was forced to just lie back in defeat
and eat the sandwich, feeling more foolish with every bite.

Eventually I
was done, and stabilized enough to walk without the frustrating feeling of
wanting to smash my head against something. After checking in with Laura, I
retrieved my bag and headed towards the library.

*

When I reached it, I sighed at how much the familiar space relaxed me. I
walked past the huge mahogany desk at the reception, straight into the maze of
bookcases and headed to my
favourite
table. It was
situated in a dimly lit and almost deserted corner on the last floor, and it
was a place I could stay in for hours to be alone, without any fear of unwanted
interruptions. People rarely visited this section. For one, the lighting wasn't
encouraging and the bookcases were filled with old encyclopedias and ancient
history books. Google was now much easier than sorting through massive
dust-garnished materials.

It was just a
little past 2:30pm, so almost everyone would be heading back to the dining hall
for lunch. I hardly ever had lunch because I preferred to wear myself out in
the library reading, and then return to my dorm for a nap before dinner in the
evening.

When I reached
the table, I decided to rest for a while because my legs still felt pretty
heavy. I was taking my movements slow for the fear of inciting another fainting
spell. I was still a little shaken that I had actually collapsed in the first
place, and shuddered to think of how long I’d have probably been lying down on
the ground, if he hadn't found me.

He,
I mused. It was funny how we'd had more
than two tense encounters in the same day and yet, I still didn't know his
name. I thought of what it might be, but eventually gave up because it wasn’t
worth tasking my weary brain over. But for what it was worth, I didn’t expect
it to be a ‘John’ or a ‘Michael’.

After sitting
down, I rested my head on the table. The plan had been to briefly close my
eyes, but I found myself waking almost half an hour later. I really was
exhausted I realized, so I decided to start on the assignment before I lazed
out and
procrastinated
it again

I had just
brought out my notepad and was about to skim it for details, when I saw the
sticky note at the top corner that read,
Ask
Kate for your topic.

Just then, I
remembered the conversation I’d had with Kate earlier, and how I’d scribbled
the note just before I’d been kicked out of biology. The thought of having to
push it again to the next day made my head spin, so I lowered my head back to
the table, and thought again of all the reasons I had for not dropping out. The
strongest one was still that I’d rather be here, than have to live with my dad.
I didn’t hate him; I just preferred to not be around him because having him
around made everything harder for me.

I pulled my
backpack towards me from across the table so that I could retrieve my purse. I
knew exactly where what I was in search of was, and boldly ignored the voice of
reason that told me that it would be a bad idea. I'd just had too much already
happen today, and I missed her, so I at least deserved a look.

After I retrieved the picture from my purse, I laid it
flat on the table and straightened so that I could stare down at her beautiful
face. Without the picture, I already had it perfectly engraved in my mind, but
this – this was priceless. Her hazel eyes stared back at me, and with a sad
smile I remembered how they could literally flash with fire when she was mad.

She had yelled a lot and so did I, and more than
anything it just showed our inability to keep a leash on our emotions. We cried
when we were hurt and caused havoc when we were angry, and although the
transparency was sometimes liberating, I wasn’t entirely certain that I didn’t
consider it a serious flaw. So far, it had been fairly easy for me to keep it
all in, but after all that had happened
today,
I only
wished that I was able to get through the day without causing any more damage to
myself, or anyone else.