Authors: J W Rocque
“The joke"s on me,” said Evan as he sat with Michelle in the sparsely filled bleachers at Candlestick Park.
“What joke?”
“Willie"s not here anymore. He got traded back to New York last year. How ironic. Andy is probably watching him play centerfield at Shea Stadium, thinking about
me
. It only shows how elusive life can be.”
“You"re comparing life to a baseball player getting traded?”
“I tend to forget how fleeting life is for the rest of the people. Willie got traded to New York because he is old and losing his skills. They sent him back to New York so he could say goodbye to the fans who first saw him play almost twenty years ago. I remember him in his youth… how he could run and be so powerful. Imagine if
he
had what
we
have. I hope we never take the moments of our lives for granted, especially since our moments are
not
fleeting.”
“Do you think we will ever get bored with each other?”
“I"ve traveled centuries looking for you, kid. There"s no way I plan on getting bored. How about you?”
“I hope not. I kind of like our life together so far,” she replied as they simultaneously leaned toward each other for a kiss.
As they closed their eyes and warmed each other amidst the chilly San Francisco Bay breeze, a voice behind them disturbed the blissful moment. “Boring game, huh?”
Evan looked to the row behind him. There sat a couple with colorfully dyed shirts and headbands and long hair. Evan had noticed that they were sitting much further back a few minutes ago. “I guess. When you have lovely company, who watches the boring game?”
“Yeah, man. We come to smoke some reefers. The team is so bad, the bleachers are practically empty for weekday afternoon games. There"s hardly any security so we come to the game to get some sun and light up. You two wanna light up with us?”
“No, thank you,” said Evan. “It"s… not the best thing for you.”
“It"s cool, dude. Hey… she"s just a kid. I didn"t know. Hey, man… I dig it. You"re never too young to love. Sunbeam here was fifteen when we first got it on.”
“You"re hippies. I thought you were gone with the end of the sixties.”
The man laughed. “Nice to meet you. I"m Nova… they call me the Boss Nova. This is my Sunbeam. She lights up my days… and my nights. How about your sweet little thing?”
Evan looked at Michelle and saw that she was feeling uncomfortable. He gave her an assuring wink and turned back to their new friends. “Nova, my name is Evan and this is Michelle. She"s older than she looks. She just had her nineteenth birthday last month.”
“Really?
I’m
nineteen!” said Sunbeam. “Wow, she looks like a kid.”
Evan smiled. “She doesn"t smoke marijuana. You could look this young too.”
“You crack me up,” howled Nova. “So are you completely straight?”
“Nova, there"s nothing better than loving someone while being completely straight. The experience is the best. You get to remember every last detail… the way she smelled… the look in her eyes…”
“So, how did you two meet?” Sunbeam asked Michelle while Evan and Nova conversed.
“It was really sweet. I had this big crush on him when he worked at a sundry shop back in Rhode Island. That"s where I"m from. I would go into the store to buy some things for my mother and just stay to talk to Evan. He was so cute and nice. He would never treat me like I was a kid even though I was. He talked to me like I was a friend.”
“That"s nice, Michelle. That"s really nice. How old were you when you first met?”
“I was twelve. If Evan was busy when I went into the store, I would pretend that I was still looking for something just so someone else wouldn"t ask me if I was ready to checkout.”
“So Evan could check you out?”
Michelle giggled. “Yes… so Evan and I could talk. I don"t think I ever wanted anything from him other than his attention when I went to the store. Then one day, I asked my mother if I could invite him over to dinner. She said yes, and then he became my boyfriend.”
“You asked your mother.” Sunbeam shook her head. “Man, I would never ask my old lady anything because I expected her to always say no… so I would just do as I please. You were twelve at the time?”
“By then, I was thirteen. Mom figured that it was an innocent invitation, which it was, and I had no idea that Evan wanted to be my boyfriend. I just had a crush and thought it was cool that he was going to eat at myparents" house.”
Sunbeam looked carefully at Michelle"s face and petite frame. “And you"re
nineteen
now?”
Michelle swallowed hard. “Yup… I am.”
“I would have loved to have seen you when you were
thirteen
.”
“Oh, I really didn"t look much different.”
“So how old was Evan?”
“Well, I had thought at the time that he was about nineteen. That"s why I didn"t think he"d be interested in me.”
“He didn"t tell you his age?”
“I didn"t ask. I just assumed. Um… I think I was about right.”
“Well, you must know
now
, right?”
Michelle laughed nervously. “Oh… yeah. That"s what he turned out to be… nineteen.”
Sunbeam digested it all. “That"s what it"s all about, isn"t it? Love doesn"t need boundaries. I"ll never judge you. Hey, we should give you two some new names like we have. Let"s see… you need a name that represents something that is very young looking… something that is small and tender.”
Evan suddenly heard the conversation between the women and interrupted. “The name Michelle is perfect. Just like the song. No other name will ever be the same.”
“That is sweet, Evan,” said Sunbeam. “Hey, Nova, why can"t
you
be that romantic?”
“Hey, I told you that I call you Sunbeam because you light up my day, didn"t I?
That’s
romantic.”
Sunbeam frowned. “And your night. Why not call me Moonbeam at night?”
“Didn"t Frank Zappa already use that name for his kid?”
“That"s Moon
Unit
, goofy.”
“Hey, I think the game"s over,” said Michelle. “Everyone"s leaving the field.”
Nova looked at the scoreboard. “Yeah, and the Giants lose again. They"re going nowhere this year, man.”
“Hey,” said Evan. “Why don"t we all go to the wharf and grab a bite to eat. I"ll buy.”
Dusk was rapidly turning to darkness as John Fleming raced toward the Canadian border. There was no way he would have been able to smuggle his handgun on an airplane. It was far easier to try to get it past the customs booth on the road. He carefully wrapped it in a rag and placed it under the spare tire in a hidden compartment in the trunk of his car. All the way, he did his best to convince himself that his plan was justified by talking softly to himself while driving.
I should have never let Michelle have that guy over for dinner. It gave him a foot in the door. He used it to take her and drug her. There’s no way she loves that guy. He must be threatening her to say that to her mother. He has some hold on her. I have to get her medical help so she can live a normal life. She’ll thank me after I kill the prick. She’s too scared right now to dare leave him. He kidnapped her. He probably raped her. Well, honey, your problems will be all over soon. The only reason you didn’t come home with your mother is because you were afraid he’d come back to get you again. You won’t have to worry about that, sweetheart, because he’s going to be dead. And there’s no jury in the world who will blame your dad for doing that for you. And if I’m careful, there will be no witnesses. That way, I can kill him and then take you home with me. As soon as you started dating thatmonster, I should have had him arrested. I’m so sorry I failed you, darling.
“No problem, Mr. Troy. I"m glad to do it for you. T he doctor will be in to see you soon. He wants to check you before you leave tomorrow morning.”
Brenda looked at him sympathetically. “I"ll leave the official diagnosis to the doctor, but it does appear that your body loss is accelerating. That"s one reason why I called him and told him that I think he should get here earlier than he was scheduled to see you.”
“But he doesn"t have any answers, nurse. What does it matter?”
“He may have an idea of what to do to get you through the night. I"m sorry, Mr. Troy. Your case is so unusual.”
Michelle came hurriedly into the room. “Evan! Oh, Evan… I needed to see you.”
“What"s the matter, honey?”
“I… just want to be with you. Nurse, is it okay if I stay in the room with Evan tonight?”
“I think that would be a good idea,” said Brenda. “Mr. Troy can use some good company tonight. His condition has worsened. The doctor will be in to see him soon. After he is done, we can set up a bed for you to sleep in.” Brenda left the room to mail the letter.
“Don"t worry, Evan. I won"t let anything happen to you.”
Evan looked puzzled. “I wish it were that easy, sweetheart, but even the doctors aren"t able to do that.”
“I meant… I"ll make sure you get a good sleep and won"t be disturbed.”
“We"re in an intensive care unit. Who"s going to disturb me in the middle of the night?”
Michelle looked at Evan worriedly. “Hospitals have good security, right?”
“I suppose so… why?”
“No reason… I guess I"m worrying for nothing.”
“I"m glad I have you for company tonight.”
“Me,too.”
“Will you hold my hand?”
“Sure. I love you, Evan.”
“I love you, too.”
“Hello, Evan,” said Frank as he entered the room. “Doctor, I think things are getting worse.”
“I"ll let the doctor examine you alone and I"ll come back when he leaves,” said Michelle.
“You can stay if you want, Michelle,” said Frank. “I know this isn"t easy for you either. Oh my, it did spread quite a bit further since I last checked, didn"t it?”
“Yes,” said Evan, “and it"s painful too.”
“Let"s see what we can do to slow this down. I wish the university hospital had picked you up today as originally planned. That extra day could make a big difference. I"m sorry I wasn"t able to be much help to you, Evan.”
“You"ve been wonderful, Dr. DiLaurio,” said Michelle. “You"re doing your best and I appreciate that.”
Frank smiled at Michelle and then turned to Evan. “I have to tell you that when I first laid eyes on you two, I seriously suspected some illicit relationship. But you two have a special kind of love. I hope they find a way to save you, Evan.” He proceeded to treat the latest deteriorating area, wish them both a peaceful night, say that he would return early in the morning before the transfer, and then he left.
Evan Troy was born in Middletown, Connecticut, during the spring of 1962. Eric Townsend, like Edward Thomas, Eustace Tewksbury and scores of other monikers before him, was no more, signifying yet another new beginning. The charm of this quiet college town provided yet another nice change of scenery for Evan. Still, one doesn"t easily leave New York City after developing friendships over a nine-year period without sensing a void.
Although the necessity for the name change was decided when someone happened to inquire about him in a downtown diner, Evan was not about to spend more than a few months in Middletown. In contrast to the move nine years earlier that took him from rural Indiana to the most bustling metropolis in America, he had no predetermined destination in mind. A part of him thought about exploring the Boston theater scene, while another part of him thought it best to commit no longer to one location for the long term.
After a few months in Middletown, he boarded a train on the Hartford-Providence line and headed east. Since leaving New York in February, his head had been swimming in thoughts, regrets and confusion. He continuously questioned his deviation from the practice of making friends without maintaining close ties that could compromise his situation and possibly alert the authorities.
“What? Oh, I"m sorry,” said Evan. “Were you talking to me?”
“I was just wondering if the seat beside you is available. There doesn"t seem to be any other one available.”
“Oh… um… no… I mean yes, it"s available as no one is sitting there. Um… I"m Evan… Evan Troy.”
Might as well get used to using the new name
.
“My name is Kim West. I"m heading home from college.”
“Ah… and where"s home?”
“Providence. Where are you heading?”
“I… I"m not really sure.”
“Are you in college?”
“Oh, no. I don"t attend school.”
“So you don"t know where you"re going? Where"s
your
home?”
“Um… it
was
Greece at one time. I guess I never found a home. I don"t really have a family.”
“I"m sorry to hear that. Are they… have they all passed away?”
“Yes… a long time ago.” “So what do you do?”
“I can do different things. I suppose I"m currently an actor.”
“An actor? That"s so cool. Do you do movies?”
“No. I do stage acting. So, Kim, you say that you"re going to Providence?”
“Yes. That"s my home.”
“That"s a nice name… God"s provision.”
“What?”
“That"s what it signifies… the word providence. I think I would like to find His providence.”
“Maybe you found your destination then.”
“Maybe. I was thinking I might go to Boston and check out the theaters there. They have quite a few… not as much as New York, but quite a number of good ones.”
“Why did you leave New York?”
Evan laughed. “Oh… I suppose I tire easily of being in one place.”
“Providence has a very nice theater. When I go home for the holidays, we always see
A Christmas Carol
there.”
“Maybe I"ll get off at your stop and check this theaterout.”
“And then maybe I"ll see you in
A Christmas Carol
when I return in December. That would be cool, just to say „
I know him’
to my family.”
Evan smiled, and then he opened his duffel bag to retrieve a book. He spied the little bottle of elixir nestled in the corner of the bag. “It"s called Providence, is it?”
Nova.
“Don"t mention it,” said Evan. “I had one selfish motive. I
wanted to continue our conversations in a place where I wouldn"t
have to inhale your weed.”
“Ha, ha. You really do crack me up, man. You are far
out.”
“Hey, you two,” said Sunbeam. “I want you to know that
you can level with us. We"re your friends and we would never say
anything to anyone.”
“What do you mean?” asked Evan.
“I mean, like look, I know there"s no way that she"s
nineteen, Evan. It"s okay. We"re not the establishment or even her
parents. And we
don’t
talk to the fuzz. We believe in free love.
You two love each other and that"s cool, man.”
“Sunbeam, I…”
“Evan, it"s okay. I can answer this one myself,” interrupted
Michelle. “Sunbeam, how old do you think I am?”
Sunbeam looked her over once again. “Honey, you"re
fourteen tops, and I"m giving you the benefit of the doubt with that
guess. You look even younger.”
“Okay… I agree with you that I
look
no older than
fourteen… in fact I"ll agree that I
look
thirteen. Evan wanted me
to stay that way, didn"t you, Evan?”
Evan wondered where this was going. “Uh… yes, I always
found you just perfect.”
“You see, Sunbeam, Evan and I have been together for six
years now. Today is the anniversary of our first date, and I had a
huge crush on Evan for a whole year before that date. I"m still so
much in love with him. Does it really matter how old either one of
us is?”
“Not at all, honey. I was fifteen when I met Nova. We"ve
been strong ever since.”
“Do you want to know what"s really important, Sunbeam?” Sunbeam listened intently. “What, Michelle?” Michelle leaned forward on the table where they were
eating. “We both knew what love is. I love the way you and Nova
believe in not judging others for who they are and what they do.
Evan and I are much the same. But being in love is not about
getting high or having sex. We were both in love with each other"s
souls for five years before we ever had sex, and after we first had sex we enjoyed the experience but never loved it more than each other"s souls. Love and sex are two completely different things. Sex is the ultimate intimacy shared as the result of being in love. It should be special and always done with a clear mind. Evan waited until I was old enough to be emotionally and intellectually ready for it. So it doesn"t matter how old we look or how old we are.
We were destined to be together.”
Sunbeam and Nova just stared at Michelle. Finally
Sunbeam said, “Wow. That"s heavy, man.”
“So… do you
still
think she"s fourteen tops?” asked a
surprised but very approving Evan. He had never heard Michelle
be so assertive and mature.“If you ask me, I don"t care how many
years she has lived.There"s just so much to love about her.” “Okay,” said Nova, “we believe you. So how did you
manage to stay looking like a cute little chick?”
Michelle lookedat Evan, who said, “I"ll take this one,
Nova. Just take a look at what we are eating and drinking. Salad,
whole grain bread and water. That"s how I always stayed looking
young, and that is how I keep my little Michelle looking young,
right honey?”
Michelle gave her cute giggle. “That must be it.” “Hmm… your little Michelle, huh?” said Sunbeam. “How
about Li"l Meesh for a nickname? That"s perfect for her.” “You may like that name, Li"l Beam,” said Evan, “but
she"ll always be my Michelle.” Then Evan looked admiringly into
Michelle"s eyes and added, “But if I
had
to give her another
name… it would be Soulshine.”