Smart Mouth Waitress (41 page)

The message was familiar. Ah! I was the crazy lady on Uncle Jeff's voicemail. Apparently, I had dialed a
lot
of phone numbers that night to spread my good cheer.

Cooper said, “You must have mixed up your vodka with your water that night.”

I put the keys in the ignition to get them out of my sweating hands. “Do you wanna go on a date with me some time?”

Cooper reached over and ran his finger across my forehead, pulling a loose strand of hair away and tucking it behind my ear. “As long as you don't draw me naked.”

“Never again,” I said. “Just photos.”

He seemed pleased with that, and he leaned in toward me. I leaned in to meet him. And then Cooper kissed me.

Chapter 26

If that little scenario in my mother's Land Rover had been one of my dirty sex fantasies, we would have mashed faces for a few minutes, then jumped into the back seat and ripped off the bottom halves of our clothes and mashed our private parts together right then and there, parked on the street outside his house.

What really happened was about two hours of clothes-on making-out, mostly in the passenger seat, punctuated by some talking.

I pretended my hands were cold, even though they weren't, and slipped them up inside his shirt. Touching his naked chest and collarbone and even his armpits was heavenly. I'd never touched anyone's body like that, except my own, and it was every bit as exciting as getting to second base should be. He slid his hands up inside my shirt too, and I just about died from feeling it happening while also knowing it was happening.

Honestly, I didn't even consider taking it to the next level, because the level we were at was so wonderful, I couldn't imagine it getting better.

Cooper was my official date to see
The Hunger Games
, and we went on the Thursday night after the Monday we'd kissed in my mother's Land Rover—kissed for so long, my lips were actually sore the next day.

He sat next to me at the movie and held my hand, just like a real boyfriend, which he was. I'd planned to see it with Courtney, but I told her to give my ticket to Britain and enjoy.

Cooper and I both loved watching
The Hunger Games
, and he gave me a sympathetic hand squeeze during the sad parts. He hadn't read the books, so we went for sushi after the movie and I explained some of the parts that weren't totally clear in the movie, like about why Gale had to put his name in multiple times in exchange for extra food.

After a good post-movie discussion, Cooper told me about some philosophy book he was reading, and we sat at our little table drinking green tea until the restaurant kicked us out at closing time. He was interested in what I had to say and vice versa. Time just evaporated when we were together.

He dropped me off at my house, and we made out in the car again, but I didn't invite him in and he didn't ask.

On Friday, which was my day off from work, we had my house to ourselves while my brother was at school. My parents were both still down in LA, as my father had cashed in some of his holidays at work.

Cooper brought over an easel and some of his paints, and we planned to do some painting and sketching in the back yard, but he dropped those things by the front door when he came in and we found some other things that were more interesting.

After an entire day of building up the sexual tension with kissing and squeezing and groping, we found ourselves on my bed, where I just happened to have some protection stashed under my pillow.

“How convenient,” he said.

I'd like to report back that we didn't have intercourse that day, and decided to wait until we were twenty-five and married, or at least until we'd been officially dating a bit longer, but let's be honest here.

I was eighteen, almost nineteen, and the world thought I was responsible enough to drive a 4500-pound Land Rover up and down the city streets … not that I was thinking about driving trucks at all by the time everything happened.

You can skip this next part if it's TMI (Too Much Information.)

Ginger, from work, had warned me that it could hurt, or not be very pleasant the first time, especially if my hymen was intact. I'd been to a gynecologist once before, and according to the nice doctor lady, it was there, but she'd assured me it wouldn't be a problem and I seemed otherwise healthy.

Our first time started out really nice and I was practically begging for it, but things took a turn for the serious once the action started, because it did hurt. I wondered if I hadn't made a terrible mistake, but we got cleaned up and I washed the blood away, and by the next day, when my brother was over at his friend Kyle's house, I felt ready to try again.

You know that saying,
practice makes perfect
?

We're not perfect at sex yet, so we're going to have to keep practicing.

It's been just over a month since my first time, and I'm glad it was with someone I cared about. I didn't know I loved Cooper at the time, but I'm pretty sure I do now.

Love is funny.

Like my father's ADD, there is no test for love. You can fill out one of those questionnaires in a magazine or on a website, or possibly consult a psychologist, but nobody can prove conclusively that someone is or isn't in love.

My parents came home last week and they've been walking around in a daze, holding hands, and acting like a couple of honeymooners. They actually are newlyweds, because they renewed their vows while they were down in California. The only bad news out of all of this is Mom's big comeback album has been put on hold.

She did confess to me and Garnet that she was writing all sorts of very personal songs about what they were experiencing with their renewed love, and she wasn't sure how he'd feel about it—how he'd feel about being in a song.

“He'd love it,” I said.

“I wish someone would write songs about me,” Garnet said grumpily as he ate his post-soccer-game grilled cheese sandwich.

Mom and I gave him a big hug and assured him he'd meet a special girl one day. Garnet's a good-hearted kid, and since his two adventure-filled days with my uncle, he's been taking his school work more seriously.

Things may change down the road, but for now, my life is pretty sweet. Tonight, Cooper and I are going on a double-date with Haylee and Andrew to see
The Cabin in the Woods
, which Andrew has been talking about non-stop.

We invited Courtney to come along, even though it meant bringing Britain, but she politely declined. From what little we've discussed her life at work, which is just when our shifts are changing over, she and Britain are still dating, but they do argue a lot.

I'll try to not say “I told you so” if and when they split up. I was hoping a break-up would have happened by now, but it hasn't. I guess my life can't be too perfect, with absolutely everything wrapping up exactly how I'd like it to be, now can it? I feel resolved in my heart, at least, because as her friend, I choose to be a pal and at least
pretend
to accept Courtney's choices. I avoid Britain, but when I see her, I make an effort to not antagonize her ... much.

I don't know if I even want Courtney back as a close friend. We'll always have a connection, because of our past, but I don't know if there's much future for us. I never believed my parents, when they'd said they grew apart from their high school friends, but I'm starting to think they weren't wrong.

People do grow apart, and they do change, just not always in the ways you want.

Marc is still in my life, because he's Cooper's friend. The two of them actually came in together the past three Monday mornings. Each time, they brought two copies of the crossword puzzle and raced to see who would finish first. So far, Marc's won two out of three, but he has had more practice.

I think Marc will make someone a nice boyfriend, some day. Maybe he just needed more time to get over Sunshine. I've been hanging out with her a bit, and she is pretty amazing. My mother likes her too, and yes, I did ask my mother if she could help Sunshine out with her music. To my surprise, my mother said she'd be delighted to, and that ever since watching the taping of The Voice, she'd been itching to mentor someone.

That was how Sunshine became my mother's protege. So, watch out, music world!

Cooper likes hanging out at my house, and I like being over at his place. I especially like his mother. She's been trying to get me into art, so I may take some art classes in the fall.

Cooper talks a lot about the science of compatibility, and says he wants to make sure we have a fundamentally sound relationship so that in a year or so when the hormone stuff cools off, we'll still have something together. We force ourselves to go out on real dates, out in public, instead of pawing at each other like sex-mad fools.

I get all giddy inside when he looks at me.

Some girls fantasize about being with an artist, and I think it's because artists see beauty, and when you observe yourself through an artist's eyes, you see your beauty as well. Aww, now I'm sounding like an ad for soap or something.

I do love Cooper, and I can't imagine a time when the sight of his freckled shoulders won't make me want to bite him on those nice shoulders.

Maybe it's being around my parents, who've been together twenty years and are still making goofball faces at each other, but I'm a big believer in love.

Oh, one last thing.

I just broke the news to poor Toph that I found someone to have my first time with, and he'd have to find another prospect. He was, understandably, devastated.

That's why today's special is Heartbreak Pancakes, which are regular pancakes, but topped with peanut butter and honey. Instead of the honey, you can have them with our “maple” syrup, which comes from Costco and contains no actual maple.

You guys can toss those Starbucks coffees in the garbage bin outside, or you can bring them in, but I'll have to add a dollar twenty-five surcharge to your bill.

Take a seat right here. My name is Perry, and I'll be your waitress today.