Out of Time (34 page)

They rose as dawn was breaking.

‘What now?’ Meredith asked.

‘Look!’ Joe said. He had found an old, dirty, torn shirt in the room. It was child size.

‘She’s been here!’ Joe said jubilantly.

‘Could have been anyone! And if it was her, where is she now?’

To find her in the maze of streets was daunting.

They did not think it wise to remain in Jarvis Road. Their plan was to make their way to Joe’s old house. If it was empty they could use it as their headquarters. Joe dreaded the return to number twenty two, afraid that he would not be able to bear the load of memories from his past. If the wasteland had made him falter, how would he fare in his own home? He was faced with another trial of strength.

They stayed in Jarvis Road until night fell and once again crept through the town. At Leys Lane footsteps approached and they shrank back against a wall. Joe remembered seeing the man from number twenty two being marched away and wondered if this was going to be some kind of replay but the guard that appeared was alone, patrolling the streets. They waited until he was past. Then Joe led the way down the lane to the back garden, his heart beating in dread and anticipation.

Changes had taken place. The vegetable garden, so neat when he had first seen it, was ravaged and the garden shed, it was clear even in the dim light, had been used to live in. Piles of sacks were carefully folded to make two beds. The man-sized nets Joe had seen before still rested against the wall.

*

The children’s reunion is full of joy though Rob and Margaret, bewildered by the sudden turn their life has taken, cannot quite believe in their good fortune. They are free, they are reunited with their two friends and with other children, there is new hope for survival. But it will take them time to adjust. For the moment they are too tired and weary to feel happy. They need food and rest but above all, they want to wash away the smell and the dirt from the dungeon. Susie and Ian cannot do enough for them. Susie, all caution laid aside in her anxiety to help, for once breaks the rules and goes outside in daylight to fetch water from the tub. She does this very quickly, darting back inside with a full bucket.

Margaret and Rob lather themselves all over with the gritty soap they have been given and watch the water wash away their imprisonment. It is a glorious moment.

*

Joe is mesmerised to see a young girl emerge into the garden. She looks remarkably like the one he is looking for though she is taller than she was when he saw her skipping, a thin, lanky child, pale skinned with straight mousy hair tied in two pony-tails. She makes a dash for the tub, fills a bucket and disappears inside.

‘I think we’ve found her,’ he tells Meredith in amazement, ‘or at least someone who looks like her. A girl anyway, about twelve years old which fits with what I remember.’

Meredith is sceptical.

‘You sure? It can’t be that easy.’

‘It was her, I swear it.’

They dare not emerge into the garden in full daylight. They wait in the shed for night to fall. Then they go to the back door.

*

No lamps are lit and the shutters are firmly closed, the chinks where light may escape filled in. The children touch one another as they quietly exchange news and make plans. As always when there is need to talk they are in the cellar, tight up against William’s dividing wall. They have much to catch up on. Rob and Margaret are curious about William. They cannot believe that one of the townspeople is prepared to risk his life to save them.

‘All we need now is the names and addresses of the dissidents you know,’ Susie tells Margaret. ‘Then we can contact them. William will find a way and we can at last take some action.’

There is silence.

‘You do know some, don’t you?’ Ian asks, suddenly suspicious.

Margaret looks at them miserably.

‘No. I was just pretending.’

Ian and Susie are angry and dismayed. They have been relying all this time on Margaret and promised William to give him a list of reliable dissidents. Now they will have to tell him that they know of none. They are as helpless as they were before.

‘Wasn’t a very clever thing to do, was it?’ Ian says.

Margaret looks down.

‘Why did you do it?’ Susie asks indignantly.

Margaret looks miserable but says nothing. Rob too is shocked. He did not know that Margaret had been telling lies and fooling them all. He moves away from her.

‘You never told me!’ he says.

It is at this moment that they are interrupted by gentle but insistent knocking on the back door. They freeze in guilty silence. Have they been too loud, have they given themselves away in their excitement? No one dares open the door. Ian runs into William’s house to fetch him. The knocking continues intermittently. This is what William has been dreading. He sends the children into his house and arms himself with a cosh. Then he goes to the back door, wrenches it open and without giving the two adults he sees outlined against the sky a chance to speak, attacks them, beating them over the head. They have no time to offer resistance. They fall and he drags them inside.

JOE struggled to consciousness, the threatening figure of a man looming over him.

‘Who are you?’ the man whispers.

‘I think it’s the boy,’ Susie says, ‘the one I saw.’

Through the gloom Joe can see that they are in his mother’s bedroom, the largest of the three upstairs. Several people are bending over him..

‘Where’s my friend Meredith?’ he asks.

Meredith’s voice replies from somewhere to his right.

‘I’m here,’ he says, ‘I’m OK but they’ve tied me up.’

‘Can you prove who you are?’ the man says. ‘Speak only in whispers.’

‘No. But I can tell you exactly when and where I saw that girl. The one I’ve just seen outside.’

‘Susie.’

‘I suppose so. I don’t know her name.’

He recounts what he saw two years ago. Susie comes into his limited circle of vision and greets him. Willing hands untie him and Meredith.

‘You didn’t have to cosh us,’ Joe says.

‘Pretty stupid of you to knock.’

‘We didn’t know how else to attract your attention.’

William orders them not to talk, they have had enough scares for one night. Joe and Meredith have to be content with shaking hands with all six children though their faces cannot be clearly distinguished in the dark rooms. Not until daylight can they assess the group in hiding and are astonished to find so many children, not only more than they could have hoped for but unexpectedly young. John is a small underdeveloped seven and Issie only four. Susie and Ian are clearly the leaders, older, stronger, healthier than Rob and Margaret so recently rescued and still looking like stick insects, with pot bellies and gaunt faces, unsure that they have escaped the nightmare of their lives. Looking at their lacklustre eyes Joe wonders silently if they will ever recover.

‘We used to be like that,’ Susie says.

They spend the next day and evening finding out one another’s histories’ and catching up on recent events. Joe and Meredith are amazed at the children’s resilience, especially Meredith. He is not used to children, has had no contact with anyone genuinely young since he was a child himself, and that is so long ago it is lost in the mists of time. He looks on them as though they were a different species. Joe laughs at him.

‘They’re just like us, you know.’

Meredith cannot take his eyes off Issie, the most beautiful being he has ever encountered. Such tender skin, such large dark eyes looking wistfully at him. He wonders what they conceal. Perhaps Issie notices his interest for she firmly attaches herself to Meredith. He finds her wherever he is, either trailing behind like a shadow or at his side, shyly seeking his hand. She never speaks but gradually, as Meredith gets accustomed to her presence over the next few days, he talks to her. He tells her stories, at first shyly, then with increasing confidence, about the moon and stars, about wild animals, he invents tales of fantastic complexity. As she listens Issie’s eyes grow rounder and rounder. Soon Meredith is surrounded by an admiring circle. Joe is fascinated by this new aspect to his friend.

One night Meredith finds Issie asleep on the bedding he has arranged for himself on the floor. He lies down next to her and breathes in the intoxicating smell of a young child, fragrant and fresh, a new and wonderful experience.

Meredith does not want the other children to feel that he does not care for them; but it is difficult not to show partiality for this small child’s surprising show of affection and trust. To make matters more even, he takes particular notice of John but John is not interested in being singled out. He has carried all the responsibility for his sister since they were thrown out of their home and it is a great relief to him that someone else has taken her over. It gives him the chance to associate more closely with the older children, though they do not find him easy. Meredith, used as he is to the changing dynamics among a small group of people, understands this shifting pattern.

All through his life Meredith has learned to walk alone, he has watched the ebb and flow of his friends’ love affairs, considering them an ultimately vain attempt to breach the barrier of naked isolation and its attendant existentialist despair. He has distanced himself from pain and loss and fought against his feelings for both Kathryn and Joe. He wishes he had succeeded. One has gone and the other? Meredith has no illusions about Joe’s intentions to leave him and the children once they are safe and on their way to the community. It is another loss he is going to be forced to accept. He wonders how many more there will be.

Their friendship, fortified by the death of the woman they both loved, strengthened by their hazardous incursion into the town, has bound the two men to one another with hoops of steel. But now, with the possibility of their mission successfully concluded and Joe planning to leave, Meredith is forced to look into the yawning abyss of life without either of the two beings he loves best, a loss that seems unendurable, a final blow of sorrow and pain. What would there be to live for? The temptation to seek the same solution as Kathryn has been, in moments of despair, overwhelming but it is not a realistic option. If Meredith survives the coming battle, he owes the small band waiting for him at home. He cannot turn away. So have The Fates decreed.

But all this has changed in a matter of days, his world turned upside down. A small girl has penetrated his armour, she has taught him that love lies dormant and cannot be denied. Meredith is bemused, jubilant and alarmed. So many years after the death of his first love, of self-imposed emotional isolation, he has someone to love, someone who loves him back, a miracle he can’t quite grasp. The world is, after all, pregnant with possibility, its sole demand enough patience to wait for fortune’s gates to open and let one through.

One evening, as the last of the sunlight pushes its way through the gaps in the shuttered windows, giving enough light for the children to practise their letters, he watches Issie, her tongue sticking out, her hair falling into her face, concentrating hard, laboriously copying Susie’s alphabet. Meredith’s heart gives a lurch and she gives him a secret smile as though she knows. He meets Joe’s eyes over her head. There is no need for explanation.

With the children unconsciously forming into different camps, the atmosphere in the confined space of the house has become tense. While Ian and Susie have not openly accused Margaret of telling lies by pretending she had reliable contacts, they feel she has betrayed them. They now have no names of dissidents to offer William and few means of finding anyone who is prepared risk their life to fight the regime. There seems to be no way forward.

Joe and Meredith too have come into the town without proper planning. Everyone is relying on someone else, not thinking ahead, merely hoping for the best. Joe and Meredith confer and decide to take matters in hand. They call a meeting for the next night and in the cold and uncomfortable cellar consider all the possibilities open to them. There are few. Only one thing is clear - for eight people to remain in the two houses is inviting disaster.

Food has become a pressing problem. There are now many mouths to feed, stores in the two cellars are all but exhausted and there is a limit to what William can bring. He has foraged all over the town and it has been noted that he was taking into the house quantities of food that were excessive for one man alone. People are giving him suspicious glances and he senses that time is running out. He explains the urgency of the situation.

‘We have to leave, at once,’ he says. ‘We can go to the dissident community. Joe and Meredith will lead us. If Margaret and Rob are too weak for a long journey there’s enough of us to help them. Go and pack up your things.’

Joe warmly concurs. It was, after all, what he and Meredith had come for, to bring new lives to the decimated community. Six children and a powerful adult are an unexpected bonus. He too is anxious to set out immediately. He gets up to prepare.

He is the only one.

‘We have to go, at once,’ William insists.