Out of Time (25 page)

He looked at her with incredulity and some anger, vehemently seizing both her shoulders.

‘How can you say such a thing?’

‘You’ll know one day.’

She would say no more, could say no more for the words had come out of nowhere, from a dark place she did not want to visit.

He was helpless against her implacable refusal to explain.

*

Susie is having a nightmare. She can’t breathe. She is suffocating. She struggles to wake and barely stops herself from screaming with terror. There is an animal at her throat. As she flails her arms to push it off sharp claws dig into her neck. Susie cries out in pain, sits up with a start and dislodges a large and indignant cat which springs to the ground and looks at her accusingly. Relieved, Susie puts her hand out to stroke it. The cat approaches cautiously, sniffs her fingers and purrs. Susie lies down again and the cat climbs on her and once again curls itself round her neck. They go to sleep together. In the morning Susie sees a large tabby with a white throat and four white feet. She cannot imagine how it got in because the door is always tightly shut but the cat springs up onto a beam and slips outside through a small hole between the roof and beams Susie has not noticed before. Tabby, as Susie calls her, is back that evening and every other evening, sometimes early, sometimes late. Susie has a nightly companion. This is of great comfort to her.

*

A feast was laid on to celebrate their return, news exchanged, a report on the state of ruined villages carefully listened to. With the exception of the children’s penitentiary, they had seen no sign of other inhabitants and this was important, for the community never knew if there were other groups, either hostile or friendly, who would move south, disturbing the balance of forces. But as they ate and drank Kathryn and Joe noted other significant changes, a shift in the relationships among them.

The group, before Joe’s coming, had consisted of individuals bonded by a long, common history, constant danger and need. Relationships had formed and reformed over the years; a friendship so close had developed between the two girls that the sharing of confidences, of solace and mutual support, had become an essential ingredient in the lives of both. But if Joe’s presence did little initially to alter the status quo, his growing love affair with Kathryn disturbed the balance, imperceptibly at first, but with greater force as their intimacy grew. When Kathryn finally moved out of the bedroom she shared with Belinda in order to live in Joe’s, Belinda could not prevent feeling a profound sense of loss. She was in mourning for a person with whom she was in daily contact but seemed untouchable. And, though she would never have admitted it even to herself, she found Joe powerfully attractive.

Kathryn had initially taken it for granted that the flow of openness between them would continue unbroken but as time went on she found it more and more difficult to maintain. Joe absorbed all her love and passion, all her interest. He drew her into a whirlpool, into profound depths. He held her in thrall. She tried explaining this to Belinda but it was impossible and she would end by helplessly exclaiming, ‘That’s how it is.’ Belinda, for powerful reasons of her own, had no real wish to understand. It was too painful. Gradually, without either of them wishing it, they drifted apart.

Though Belinda used her every emotional resource to rejoice on Kathryn’s behalf she could not wholly silence her jealousy. She loved them both. When they disappeared for what felt like days without end, an unheard of absence, she felt bereft, perilously close to being unwilling to go on. This she revealed to no one and in an effort to control her feelings of rejection and isolation, she would wander off on her own, frequently to the graveyard which was peaceful and restorative, to cry unseen.

It was there, under a beech guarding one of their dead companions, that Randolph, returning from a hunting expedition, found her early one evening. She had no need to explain the reasons for her misery for he too had suffered from the unconscious and unintended selfishness of the lovers. Everyone felt excluded, apart from Meredith who was not a person who relied for his welfare on relationships.

Now Randolph sat down beside Belinda and took her hand in his and they sat quietly together, saying little but bound by their mutual sense of loss and memories of their past relationship. After a time in which silent communication flowed between them, they left the cemetery, arms round one another, not quite ready to resume where they had left off but with the nascent promise of rekindled love. This gradually revived in the reflected glow of Joe’s and Kathryn’s passion; and with the increase of Belinda’s happiness a closer relationship, untainted by jealousy, once again flowed between the two girls. The group’s dynamics had altered like the coloured pieces of a shaken kaleidoscope.

*

Having the cat around makes Susie a little stronger in herself. She starts exploring the vicinity at night, going further afield as her confidence grows. Tabby follows her. Susie is afraid she will give her away but the cat, as though aware of the lurking dangers, is entirely discreet. Together they slink along hedges, learn the geography of the streets and discover the movements and habits of neighbours.

William, for that is the name of the man at number twenty, sees Susie’s forays into the town. Sometimes he follows her for a short distance. He has never had any contact with children and is intrigued by the independence and courage of this little girl, alone in a hostile environment.

One night Susie gets as far as the park. It is silent and deserted. She slips into The Field but no one is skipping there now. She is very near Jarvis Road. The temptation is great. Looking carefully in every direction she crosses the familiar streets and hides behind trees opposite her erstwhile home.

It is dark and shuttered. Susie knows that it is unlikely that her parents have been released and that they are inside and indeed, though she stays well over an hour, there is no sign of life. This makes her feel even more desolate and alone and she returns to the shed and cries for her poor parents who tried so hard to give her a normal life. She misses them and dare not imagine what has happened to them. She returns to her house the next night and the next but there is no one inside.

At dusk the following evening, she hears the man from number twenty going to the bottom of his garden. He stays there for a long time while Susie shivers in her hiding place. He finally goes inside but Susie feels she has had a narrow escape. She knows it is only a matter of time before he sees that his neighbour’s vegetables have been uprooted, discovers her and reports her to the junta. Not to report anyone or anything suspicious is a crime punishable by death; most people will lie and betray to save their skins or to curry favour. Susie knows spying is rife. Some days before they were arrested she saw her neighbour’s twitching curtain but she was too frightened to tell her parents. She wishes she had. She is certain that the neighbour is responsible for reporting them.

She has not even guessed how closely the man next door is monitoring her, nor that he is gradually becoming involved with her life. William tries to imagine how Susie comes to be in the shed, what her background is and what her aims. That she has recently been imprisoned is clear from her wasted frame and sunken cheeks. How did she manage to escape? William intends to find out.

After all the lamps have been extinguished Susie makes an attempt to reach the sewers and on an impulse again stops by Jarvis Road. She stays for about an hour, watching and waiting for she knows not what. She is about to leave when, to her amazement, she sees a sliver of light escaping the edges of the shutters. She is mesmerised. It soon disappears and though she waits a long time, it does not reappear. Susie does not know what to do. Someone is after all in the house and does not want it known. Could it be another fugitive like herself; could it be, hope against hope, her parents ? She cannot be sure and she dare not go in alone to find out.

Susie returns to the shed. She wishes very much that there was someone she could talk to. Susie Three listens to her whispers but cannot advise her and the cat is only concerned with her own affairs.

Susie’s wish is soon to be fulfilled because the situation in the dungeon has become so desperate the committee does not think it can afford to wait any longer for a signal from Susie before taking further action. Margaret’s relative has disappeared, another guard taken her place. Food rations have been reduced. If they do not soon escape they will perish. They draw lots and it falls to Ian to be the next one out. Their hope is that he will be able to make contact with other dissidents and organise a revolt that will bring Helmuth down and free them all. This is far beyond their resources but because they are young and inexperienced they do not know how perilous it is going to be. It would not, in any case, deter them. Nothing could be more hopeless than the situation they are in. Ian arranges with the committee members left behind that they should not wait for a signal from him once he has gone but should pursue any plans for escape that they can make.

Ian does not expect to see Susie, so certain are they that she has been recaptured and put to labour elsewhere; or that she is dead.

It is not long before the next child dies. Ian acts dead just as Susie did. The same routine is followed and by nightfall Ian is free. He is weak and has difficulty walking any distance but though it takes him most of the night he gradually makes his way to number twenty two Fairfax Road. He goes round to the back, watches the house and listens for sounds from the garden shed. Susie may be inside but he cannot tell. In any case he is too tired for any other action. He must first rest. He gently opens the shed door. It is empty though it is clear, when he goes in, that this is where Susie has been living. Susie Three is tucked up in the sacks that serve as bedding, and there is order everywhere. He waits a long while but at last gives up his lingering hope that Susie is still alive. If she has been taken from the shed, he will have to move before it is light; but now he is too exhausted. He lies down and tries to figure out what to do next. The cat, who has had a late night out hunting, comes in and, delighted to find another human, settles on Ian. Ian strokes her absent-mindedly.

He is so deep in thought that he does not hear the sound of movement. Susie has returned from her vigil outside her house and is about to slip into the shed when she hears a noise coming from inside. She is very frightened and creeps into the hedge. Who has discovered her? She dare not remain in the garden, but she has nowhere to go. This is Susie’s most desperate moment. She crouches in long grass. Soft fur brushes against her legs. The cat has heard her. She pushes it aside. She cannot look after the cat in these circumstances. She does not see that Ian following, is standing in the moonlit shadow of the shed. But Ian has seen her. He does not call out straightaway because he does not want to frighten her further. He waits until Susie stands in readiness to flee and gives a low whistle. Susie stops and Ian softly calls her name. Susie can hardly believe what she is hearing. A moment later they are in each other’s arms, sobbing with relief.

William is amazed to see another child join Susie.

*

Despite the heavier burden of work caused by their absence, Meredith had been much occupied on his own account while Joe and Kathryn were away. The calculator had transformed his life, every spare moment and most nights spent on its wondrous possibilities. Now he was reaping the reward. For years he had followed the movement of stars and planets in their band of sky, observing the moon in all its manifestations, calculating distances with what primitive tools were at hand. He had never been certain whether, when natural phenomena arrived at the predicted time, he had been merely lucky or fiendishly clever. But now he had, at last, incontrovertible proof. The calculator had provided it and he was planning to demonstrate its efficacy with the coming solar eclipse. He summoned the group to gather before noon on the crest of the hill.

They did as Meredith asked. An eclipse was a phenomenon familiar enough to the others, though not to Joe. Eclipses there had been but he had never bothered to follow them and after a first cursory glance had carried on his daily life. But now it assumed different proportions and he listened with growing fascination as Meredith explained that, just today, just here, the moon was so small compared with the earth it would fit over the sun like a lid on a pot. That at least would be the illusion from their vantage point.

Never before had they been able to anticipate an eclipse to the exact minute and second that Meredith now counted down. It reminded Joe of the elaborate gadgetry, the banks of computers, the rows of experts that heralded a rocket launch. Here, there was nothing but one man whose commands nature obeyed. Meredith stood outlined against the sky like a god.

‘Five, four, three, two, one, zero.’

Mystic bands of grey rippled across the ground and, like a magic lantern show, metamorphosed into minute spots of light, then multiplied into a myriad images of the sun’s crescent. This was a fireworks show beyond compare. It faded away as daylight gave way to a transparent ghostly grey, an evil penumbra in which dead bodies rose from their graves, shadows died and living creatures, birds, animals and the group of waiting humans fell silent, overcome with awe. Only the insects buzzed in the still air. The world held its breath.

A single fierce gust of wind and a sudden drop in temperature left them shivering. Then a sparking necklace of brilliant lights circled the moon, the final signal before the earth was plunged into a spectral dark, leaving only a faint glimmer on the far horizon.

A scream, low, primitive and wild, rent the world, echoing through hills and valleys, a sound no human could make. Joe looked for its source. On the ground Kathryn was writhing in a paroxysm of terror, her face distorted, eyes staring, hands clutching her head. She was screaming with wild abandon. Joe knelt beside her and took her in his arms.

They carried her into the house and laid her down, Joe beside her, murmuring endearments, keeping her close.