Read One To Watch Online

Authors: Kate Stayman-London

One To Watch (6 page)

BOOK: One To Watch
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TWITTER THREAD FROM USER @OMBEA

@OMBea
Hey there, OMBeauties! Totally forgot tonight was @MainSqueezeABS premiere night, but now my bestie and I are on my couch with tacos & tequila and we’re ready to live-tweet every plot twist! Join us?

@OMBea
Is it just me, or do the people on this show keep getting more boring? Jayden is the whitest white man in history and every one of these girls is basically performance art of straight femininity.

@OMBea
Like what would happen if one of these women wore PANTS? Or had SHORT HAIR? Would the world end?

@OMBea
And obviously they could NEVER be above a size 4, Jayden’s poor sad penis would break beneath the crushing weight of an average-sized woman.

@OMBea
My friend @MaybeMarin wants to know if we should drink every time one of the girls says she needs a man to complete her life. I say no bc we might get real real wasted, but what say you???

@OMBea
WHO IS THIS GIRL TAYLOR AND WHY IS SHE SAYING ALL THESE FACTS ABOUT PERSONAL FINANCE MARRY HER JAYDEN

@OMBea
(we’re doing the drinking game)

@OMBea
Ok here’s another thing though. These women are supposed to be “real” but these bodies are not realistic AT ALL. Who actually LOOKS LIKE THIS?

@OMBea
Before you come for me about that one plus-size girl who was on the show one time a) she was A LITERAL MODEL and b) she got eliminated the first night so don’t even

@OMBea
And obviously I know, it’s just TV, it’s all staged and fake, but they bill it as reality! Here are real people, finding real love! Except you, all 95% of humans who look nothing like this.

@CisforCatie
PREACH, BEA!!

@dcfan822828
you actually won’t find love tho so like …

@EmmaCsYou
love this!!!!!!!! more please!!!!!! can you do a post about this????

TEXT MESSAGE TRANSCRIPT, OCTOBER 15:
BEA SCHUMACHER & MARIN MENDOZA

Marin
[7:29am]
: Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Marin
[7:29am]
: Are you awake

Marin
[7:30am]
: Probably not, right, okay

Marin
[7:31am]
: When you wake up … maybe look at Twitter

Bea
[9:41am]
: Oh god why, who’s canceled now

Marin
[9:42am]
: Bea.

Marin
[9:42am]
: After I left last night … you wrote a blog post?

Bea
[9:43]
: Well my laptop is currently upside down on top of a pile of lipsticks (?) on my kitchen counter (??), so … it’s possible?

Bea
[9:43am]
: Oh wait, yes, I definitely did

Bea
[9:43am]
: Wow I was really feeling my rage, huh????

Marin
[9:44am]
: Please just check your Twitter.

VIRAL ROUNDUP OF THE WEEK: 10/18
by Patrick Matz,
mashable.com

We thought for sure the most shared content of the week would be an already-infamous video of a tabby cat being catapulted off a seesaw by an overexuberant toddler (if you haven’t seen it yet, do yourself a favor and
click here
), but a late-breaking surge of support has brought us a new champion: Plus-size blogger Bea Schumacher’s scorching critique of reality romance juggernaut
Main Squeeze
has now been shared more than a million times across Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr, and Instagram. We estimate the viral post has reached more than 15 million people, a staggering 3 million of whom have clicked “Like.” Read on for the rest of the week’s viral content, including a can’t-miss tweetstorm detailing the conspiracy theory you never knew you always needed about Hillary Clinton’s dogs.

“PACK YOUR THINGS AND GO”:
PLUS-SIZE BLOGGER ANNIHILATES
MAIN SQUEEZE
by Danielle Kander,
bubblegiggle.com

Plus-size blogger Bea Schumacher loves
Main Squeeze
—and she’s not alone! Who among us can resist watching one man or woman choose from 25 potential suitors, narrowing the field week by week until we’re left with one lucky winner for a fairy-tale proposal, a whirlwind engagement, and a low-key breakup six to eight weeks later?

But I don’t love the show’s total lack of diversity—and neither does Schumacher. Monday night, she went on her blog OMBea (if you’re not following her, you’re doing the internet wrong) to post an epic takedown. She addressed the show’s “appalling” lack of racial diversity, its “perplexing” erasure of queerness, and most of all, its “abject refusal to include any woman who wears above a size 4, despite the fact that two-thirds of American women are size 14 and above.”


Main Squeeze
is the most successful romance reality show in history,” Schumacher wrote. “It defines what it means for ‘real’ people to find love—except according to its own standards, fat people aren’t real. We aren’t worthy. We don’t even exist.”

So far, Schumacher’s scathing post has been shared more than a million times on social media, resulting in a flood of new traffic to her blog and Instagram, where she now has more than 600,000 followers. For our part, we’re THRILLED that more people will see Bea’s body-positive message, and we can only hope her post will lead to some actual change on
Main Squeeze
—and on television.

SELECTED DIGITAL HEADLINES RUN DURING
MAIN SQUEEZE
SEASON 13
MEET THE WOMAN TAKING DOWN ROMANCE “REALITY”
Bea Schumacher is plus-size and proud!
ONLINE PETITION PUSHES ADVERTISERS TO BOYCOTT
MAIN SQUEEZE
The petition, launched on the website change.biz, has more than 40,000 signatures.
“I LOVE MY THICK BLOGGER”–WOULD YOU BANG A BIG GIRL?
According to our new survey, 60 percent of men say they’d sleep with Bea Schumacher.
ANGRY INCELS SEND CASES OF SLIMFAST TO PLUS-SIZE BLOGGER
Twitter war explodes after Men’s Rights Activists publish Bea Schumacher’s home address.
PLUS-SIZE BLOGGER DONATES HUNDREDS OF CASES OF SLIMFAST TO L.A. FOOD BANK
“They’re the exact same thing as Soylent, you misogynist turds,” says Bea Schumacher.
SCANDAL: FORMER
MAIN SQUEEZE
CONTESTANT REVEALS DIETING PRESSURE ON-SET
Gina DiLuca claims women on-set encouraged diet pills and laxative abuse: “It was a literal shit show.”
IN TEPID FINALE,
MAIN SQUEEZE
RATINGS HIT 5-YEAR LOW
Notorious producer Micah Faust is reportedly in hot water at ABS.
CAN
MAIN SQUEEZE
SURVIVE WITHOUT WOMEN VIEWERS?
Amidst controversy and dangerously low ratings, rumors fly that ABS may cancel the reality juggernaut.

LAUREN MATHERS NEW EP IN MAJOR
MAIN SQUEEZE
SHAKE-UP
by Tia Sussman,
deadline.com

Following waves of negative publicity and a five-year low in ratings,
Deadline
can confirm exclusively that executive producer and showrunner Micah Faust is OUT at
Main Squeeze
. Producer Lauren Mathers—long seen as Faust’s right hand and effectively running the day-to-day on-set—has been promoted to the top spot and will take over immediately, according to
Deadline
’s ears at ABS.

“The brass at ABS have been looking for an excuse to ditch Faust for a long time,” said our ABS source, speaking under condition of anonymity. “Alyssa [Messersmith, senior VP of unscripted at ABS] hated Faust’s shit—the drugs, the women, the risky behavior on-set, the production shutdowns.”

Faust’s bad-boy antics have been infamous for decades, but few believed he would ever actually be ousted from his own signature franchise. As for his successor, Mathers has kept relatively under the radar in the industry, working her way up the ladder at
Main Squeeze
for the last five years. I hear she’s respected on-set and well liked by the crew. At just 28 years old, she’s now one of the youngest showrunners in town—but my source says not to underestimate her.

“Lauren is strategic,” the source explained. “She knew this was the moment to make a play for Faust’s job, and that she had the ally she needed in Alyssa.” But Mathers shouldn’t get too comfortable in Faust’s chair. The source went on: “If Lauren can’t bring the ratings up for the spring season of
Main Squeeze,
there’s no doubt in my mind that Alyssa will fire her ass too. There are plenty of people in town who would love to run a show as big as
Main Squeeze.

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