Marked by Death (The Godhunter, Book 4) (26 page)

“
It’s only been a couple of weeks, Ma’at,” I shivered, thinking of what Anubis might do in a rage. “It takes time to heal a broken heart.”

“
Yes, it does,” her hands were twisting nervously around her mug. “And I still have hope that he’ll come around but I fear that he’s sunk further into his darkness. He barely speaks, only leaves his room when he has souls to judge, and he’s... cruel to them.”

“
Are you saying that he’s judging unfairly?” I had a vision of Ammut eating the hearts of innocents and shuddered.

“
No, not unfairly,” she stared into her mug. “You must understand how serious our responsibilities are. We are judges of the soul, we handle the most precious piece of humanity and decide whether it’s worthy or not. There must be compassion in our work, or the souls will suffer. Anubis was once compassionate but the years made him reserved. Now, he's just cruel. He sees you in every woman and Trevor in every man. He hurts them when he removes their souls and handles them carelessly.”

“
You’re here because you think I can do something about it.” My voice fell heavy between us, a rock sinking to the bottom of the ocean.

“
I’d like you to talk to him.”

“
No, absolutely not,” Trevor leaned over and took my hand. “You’re never going near him again.”

“
Great, I’ve traded one domineering male for another,” I smiled away the harshness of my words. “I can’t hide from Anubis forever.”

“
Sure you can,” Trevor squeezed hard.

“
He can’t affect me anymore,” I looked over at Ma’at. “It would have to be in a public place.”

“
Of course,” she nodded and her eyes showed a twinge of hope.

“
No, Vervain,” Trevor stood up.

“
Trevor, he can’t take me again, he just can’t, and I owe her. Ma’at got me out. If she wants me to talk to Anubis, so be it. If not for her, I’d not only be talking to him but sleeping with him... as his wife. A little conversation is not so bad.”

“
Fuck!” Trevor turned and strode over to the nearest table to brace his arms against it and hang his head.

I got up and followed him. “Honey-Eyes,” I put my hands on his shoulders and felt tremors coursing through his body. “Please support me in this. You can be there, alright? Nothing’s going to happen to me, I promise. I won’t allow that man to take me again.”

“No, Minn Elska,
I
won’t allow him to take you again,” he turned and pulled me in tight against his chest.

Over his shoulder, I watched Kirill and Odin exchange worried looks.

Chapter Thirty-Two

The Wild Room was Moonshine’s were-only section, so I guess it was appropriate for a meeting between Anubis and I, a jackal and a lioness.

Trevor was pacing the length of it, navigating his way around boulders and trees with graceful ease. There wasn’t a clear path in the whole room. It was intended to look even more like the outdoors than the rest of the club and it managed its intentions well. All the plants in it were real, as opposed to the mix in the main room, with sun lamps fit into the ceiling to care for them during the day. At night when the club was open, netting spotted with twinkling “stars” was drawn over the lamps.

So I sat next to Kirill, me on a large rock, him on the grass, and watched Trevor pace through his wondrous creation, totally oblivious to it. I tried to enjoy the smell of the vanilla and coconut orchids I insisted he include in the décor… coconut-vanilla, yum. The smell and the warmth of the fake sun were comforting but I couldn’t still the sense of growing panic in my belly and Trevor wasn’t helping.

“
Trevor, please,” I made a grab for his arm as he passed me.

He made a perfect turn on one foot and came to a stop behind me, arms around me and head on my shoulder. His knees slid to either side of me and I felt suddenly safe. I sighed.

“Thank you,” I snuggled in deeper.

“
How sweet,” a mocking voice I barely recognized, lifted my head. Anubis. He didn’t look so good. His magic eyes were hollowed out darkly, without a single color shimmering across them, and his cheeks seemed a little sunken.

“
Hello, Vervain,” Ma’at came in behind him and I could see Ty, Trevor’s little brother, looking over her shoulder in concern. I waved him away. “Trevor, Kirill, I hope you’re well.”

“
We’re fine, thank you, Ma’at,” I left Trevor’s warm embrace to give her a hug and a kiss on the cheek.

“
Don’t I get a hug too?” Anubis made a grab for my arm as soon as I stepped back from Ma’at. So of course, all hell broke loose.

Trevor growled and launched himself at Anubis. In moments, the two were rolling on the grass. Kirill just watched with crossed arms and what looked a little like jealousy. I eyed Ma’at across their writhing bodies, wincing a little with every blow.

“Should we try and stop them?” I inhaled sharply as Trevor drew first blood.

“
Probably,” Ma’at was completely unruffled in her elegant white pantsuit.

“
Trevor, enough,” okay so it was a halfhearted effort but I couldn’t really blame Trevor, hell I wanted to be right in there with him.

Kirill stepped forward and pulled Anubis away from Psycho Wolf. He threw the god back one-handed and Anubis actually managed to land on his feet. I thought that was a cat thing. Oh well. I looked at Kirill with more than a little pride. I hadn’t known he was that strong. He smiled and it looked slow and sensuous to me. It made my heart pound even faster and my chest must have looked like I was hyperventilating because I think I was.

What the hell! Not now, no time for super slut hormones now. I seriously needed to figure out what was wrong with me. Did becoming a goddess make you crazy horny? Maybe it was Aphrodite’s powers welcoming me into goddess-hood. Fuck, I just didn’t know and that was the worst part.

“
Alright, enough shenanigans,” I let Trevor pull me into his side because I knew he needed to establish his rights with me. I slid an arm around him and surreptitiously searched him for any injuries. He was clean. My wolf was bad ass!

“
I’m not going to talk to you with him here,” Anubis pointed regally at Trevor.

“
Well I ain’t leaving,” Trevor gave a little grin. He was hoping for another fight and as much as the thought of Anubis bleeding appealed to me, making him madder was not what this was about.

“
Baby,” I sighed and turned to look at him. “I’m perfectly safe in this room. The club is warded, he can’t work any mojo on me and he can’t trace me out of here.”

“
He could attack you,” I felt a tremor course through him.

“
You’ll be right outside,” I waved to the door. “You could sense any distress I felt and be in here in under two seconds. Besides, I can take care of myself.”

He frowned. “I still don’t like it.”

“I know, I don’t like it either but I need to talk to him.” I glanced at Kirill for help.

“
If he tries anyzing ve’ll be in our rights to kill him, even zough he’s under our protection vizin zese valls,” Kirill’s accent somehow made those words sound like a threat instead of a casual observance.

“
You’ve already attacked me,” Anubis didn’t have a scratch on him since he healed so fast, so the words sounded ridiculous, “Some kind of protection.”

“
You’re lucky I didn’t kill you on sight,” Trevor started forward but I pulled him back, “you rutting dog!”

“
Well isn’t that the mutt calling the purebred a bitch,” Anubis smiled maliciously. “How did you come to be with Miw-sher? Didn’t you bind yourself to her without her knowledge or permission?”

I gasped. Had I told him that? Did he read it in my mind? Trevor looked at me with hurt eyes and I shook my head. His gaze softened a bit, the hurt melting. He knew the tricks of battle. He knew what Anubis was doing.

“Trevor bound himself to me thinking he’d never be with another woman, even though he couldn't really have me at the time,” I answered as I held my wolf’s stare. “He bound his life to mine because I spared his and refused his offers of protection.
I
unknowingly began the bonding. It was as an accident.”

“
A happy accident,” Trevor smiled gently and kissed my forehead.

“
He bound himself to you, knowing that one day he’d get his chance and once he had you, the Binding would make sure he kept you.”

“
I’m not bound to him,” I glared at Anubis. “I could leave him anytime I wanted.”

“
Maybe but he’ll die without you,” Anubis’ dark eyes glittered but their swirl of magic never appeared. “You must touch him once a month, that guarantees a way back into your life even were you to decide to leave. You love fiercely, Miw-sher and he’s banking on that. He knows you’ll never leave him because you could never see someone you love suffer. Leaving him would destroy you almost as much as it would destroy him.”

“
So what?” I held onto Trevor tightly, so he wouldn’t launch himself at the other man again.

“
So what?” Anubis lost his cruel look for a second. “So that’s my point. He trapped you just as I tried to.”

“
No, not just as you tried to,” I stared at him hard, “and you know it. Trevor barely knew me when our bond was made. He did it out of honor and responsibility. He didn’t steal my free will and use it to rape me.” Trevor’s body tightened beside me and I instantly regretted the words. I wanted to hurt Anubis, not Trevor.

“
That was punishment for your attack on me, a god,” Anubis lifted his head and his face filled with disdain.

“
Oh, are we back to that? Did you forget that you admitted your fascination for me? We both know it wasn’t just punishment you had in mind.”

“
Fine,” Anubis’ voice was getting gravely, sinking into a growl. “I wanted you and I wanted to hurt you but that changed.
You
changed everything.”

“
She has a way of doing that,” Trevor’s mood shift startled me enough to bring my face back to his. “You do, Minn Elska. You have a way of disrupting well laid plans… in a good way. Good but usually life changing.” He turned back to Anubis with a sigh. “You’ve got fifteen minutes, after that, I come back in.” He kissed me and headed out the door.

Kirill shrugged and offered his arm to Ma’at, “My lady?”

“Thank you,” she took his arm and I felt a twinge of something in my gut as he led her out. Jealousy? No… no.

Anubis watched me closely as the door shut us in together… alone. I had a moment of complete terror before I stamped it down and went back to my seat. I waved a hand at a boulder on my right. He came forward slowly as if afraid… of me or of what he was about to do? I felt my face creasing into a frown as he approached.

“Sit down, Anubis you’re making me nervous,” I tried to lighten the mood a bit.

“
Did you mean any of it?” He was finally standing before me, far enough away that I could look comfortably up at him.

“
Any of what?”

“
What you said to me, what I saw in you… in your eyes?” He dropped to his knees suddenly and covered his face with his hands. “I know I have no right to ask. I know I’ve treated you cruelly and you have every reason to hate me, none to love me, but I can’t help it,” he looked up and his face looked broken, he looked broken.

“
You know there was truth in me,” I clenched my teeth against the attraction I evidently still felt and the weakness of my heart. “You were in my head, I couldn’t hide from you. I couldn’t lie to you.”

“
I wasn’t in your head constantly or I’d have been able to stop you from running out on our wedding.” He sat back and shook his head. “No, I’m sorry. It’s hard for a god to deny himself. For centuries, I’ve been given whatever I wanted or just taken it. Then I took you but I never really had you. I tried to break you and you broke me instead. You broke the heart I didn’t know I had.”

“
Anubis,” I gave a sound of frustration. “Fuck, what do you want from me?”

“
You,” he crawled forward and it made my chest ache to see him debase himself. Why? He’d done it to me. I should be eating it up. “I want you, the real you, all of you, as an equal to rule beside me. I want you to love me like I love you.”

“
I can’t be what you want,” I gave up the fight and took his hand. His eyes glistened with unshed tears. Please don’t let him cry. Please don’t let him cry. “No matter what I feel for you, we just won’t work.”