Love My Enemy (20 page)

Tasha cried out and clapped her hand over her mouth
to stop more cries following. Tears bubbled down her
face. 'I'm so sorry. Ruby, oh, Ruby. . . I never knew.'

'Ruby's baby and my dad,' said Gary quietly, 'were
both killed in the same week. The two of us met right
here.'

'We kinda took each other on,' explained Ruby.

Tasha gulped back her tears. Was there no end to
people's misery? All these weeks she had thought Ruby
was a rival, frivolous, stupid, and promiscuous. But it
was
she
who had been all those things. What Ruby and
Gary had went far deeper than that.

'Time for us to go,' said Miguel and he put his arm
around her.

Tasha nodded. What a relief it was to have found
Gary and finished her task, to walk away, to leave Ruby
and Gary alone with all their hurt. What a relief it was to
have Miguel's arm to snuggle into.

'Wait,' Gary called after them. 'Will you say goodbye
to Zee for me?'

'No!' Miguel swung sharply round. 'She leaves on the
boat tomorrow night. Say goodbye yourself, young man.'

Zee moved methodically around the room, packing a
small hold-all. Her mother was bringing all her gear
from home, packed into their two smartest suitcases,
ready for her arrival at Redbales School. Not that the
pupils would be staring at her luggage, she thought.

She looked again in the mirror which they had put
back yesterday. Brave, they had called her when she
looked in it. Adult, dignified, mature; the compliments
had flown. Zee touched her cheek just below the eye
where rows of stitches were pulled tight into a little
hollow. That bit would never look the same again. Some
wounds had healed already though, and others had lost
their vividness. The swelling had gone down too and
some of the stitches had dissolved, they no longer stood
out like railway tracks. Maybe little children would not
hide from her after all.

She was relieved that they were going straight to the
docks. It would have been awful to face pitying
neighbours and unbearable to say goodbye to her home,
to her bedroom, even to that awful fountain. She would
remember for ever the details of the ivy-covered
cottage; every blistering flake of paint, the crannies
where she had played hide-and-seek, and every dusty
nook she had ever curled up in with a book. No one
could take memories away.

'It's not too late to change your mind,' her mum said
as soon as she arrived.

'No, thanks.' Nothing else had changed after all.
Conor had not come back to visit her and Gary had not
gone home. Maybe, just maybe, when she left, things
would get back to normal. 'Do you want the flowers,
Mum?'

'I don't feel very flowery.' Then, briskly, she added,
'I'm sure other patients would appreciate them. Now,
have you thanked the nurses?'

Zee did so as she left, even the one who had stuck a
needle in her, and they all wished her luck with her new
life in England.

'We make our own luck,' her mum muttered as they
walked down the corridor. 'Just you remember that.' But
she put her arm around Zee protectively when a passer-by
stared at her.

'Stop worrying, Mum, I'll be okay.'

'You'll phone me every day.'

'Of course I will,' said Zee, blinking hard.

The hospital's automatic doors slid open and Zee
breathed in fresh warm summer air for the first time in
nearly a week. It tasted wonderful.

'The car's just over here.'

'You've never left the twins alone? They'll have the
car ruined.'

'They're not alone.'

'What? Has Gary—?'

'No.' Her mother's face sagged. 'Tasha reckons he's
too ashamed to face you.'

The Citroën's door flew open and Conor jumped out.

'I wasn't expecting
you
,' said Zee, flustered.

'I told you I'd be back.'

Yes, but she had not believed him. She slid into the
back seat between Conor and Josh, who began flailing a
fluorescent green light sabre in her face. It would make
her look like a Halloween ghoul, she thought crossly,
then she realised that it didn't matter. After tonight she
would never see Conor again.

'I've got the front seat,' yelled Gemma in glee.

'It's mine on the way back,' declared Josh.

'Thanks for coming, Con,' she said awkwardly,
though he could hardly hear her over the twins.

'I'm sorry about last time I visited, Zee. I really
messed up. Things happened so fast . . . '

'You're here now, Con, that's what matters. I'll write
to you, I promise.'

'Yeah, sure, great.'

She rested her head against his shoulder, absorbing
the city for the last time as they threaded their way
through the streets. Rattling across the cobbles by the
docks she remembered the last time she and Conor had
been there together. Remembered the excitement of his
arms around her, the softness of his eyes, that moment
when he told her that he had loved her for ever.

Conor must have been remembering it too because he
nuzzled against her head and whispered so softly that
nobody else could possibly hear, 'I love you, Zee.'

'They're snogging!' exclaimed Josh in disgust.

'Shut up,' snapped his mother and Josh was so
surprised that he did. She turned the radio up loud.

Zee glanced up at Conor nervously. 'You don't have
to love me,' she whispered back. 'I do understand.' Then
she felt a little box being pushed into her hand.

'Maybe that's proof of a sort,' he said gruffly. 'You
seem to need it.'

She looked down at the brown paper bag. 'Is it a ring?'

'Not exactly.'

She started opening it but Conor restrained her
hastily. 'Not here!'

'Okay, but I promise I'll write when I do.'

He kissed her gently on her nose. 'You're special,
Zee, you do know that? You always will be.'

They sat in silence after that and, judging by the
tightness of his hand, Conor felt just as choked up as she
did. When they drew up opposite the ferry, its bows
were gaping and it was swallowing up cars, one by one.
A red funnel puffed impatiently and lights shone in
cabin portholes. So many times Zee had seen the boat
like this, straining to be off and so many times she had
wished that she was on it. But now. . .

'Off you go,' said her mum. She gave Zee the briefest
brush of a kiss, and then, when Zee had hugged the twins,
hurried them straight back into the car. Zee had never
seen her so business-like but she was glad. Tearful
goodbyes were awful. 'Go!' said her mum again, gruffly,
and turned the radio up even louder.

Zee didn't look back. Conor carried her luggage
across the concrete apron, then Tasha appeared at the top
of the gangway, waving wildly. Magda and Miguel were
up there with her, seeing her safely aboard. Zee took one
last lingering look around.

'I thought . . . just maybe . . . '

Conor read her mind. 'You thought Gary might turn
up? No chance. He's far too big a coward.'

'Is that so, sunshine?' came Gary's voice, stung.

Zee spun round as he emerged, half pushed it seemed,
from the shadows. 'Gary, it is you!'

Behind him she could make out Ruby's flouncing
skirt and flying hair, but Ruby hung back as Gary
approached them.

'How you doing, sis?' he asked awkwardly.

'Fine, I'm fine!' It sounded stupid the moment it left
her lips.

'Jeezus,' he said slowly and shock waves rippled across
his face. For one moment Zee thought he was going to bolt
again but he didn't; he stayed right there staring at her.

'I'm sorry, Zee, I'm
so
sorry. . . that's what I've come
to say.'

'I know you are, Gary – I've known it all along. It's
all right – really it is.'

'How can you say that? It's not all right at all!'

Zee didn't know what else to say. She was just glad
that he had made it, glad she would not have to leave
Ireland with this huge rift still between them.

'I've no excuses,' he went on. 'I was so angry I
couldn't see the half of what was going on. Couldn't see
what Des Gordon was up to for a start. And I'd no idea
about you and
him
. . . ' He nodded abruptly at Conor.
'Even when you came after me that night, O'Keefe, I
never guessed the truth. Too busy feeling sorry for
myself I suppose . . . '

'You've been blind angry, Gary, because of Dad. 'Cos
of what happened to him. I miss Dad too, you know.'
Zee didn't understand exactly why she said that, it just
seemed important to tell him.

'You never said so, Zee.'

'I couldn't. I couldn't talk about Dad at all. I couldn't
even think about him. If I did I got stuck –
so stuck
– on
that night it happened. And then I couldn't cope at all.'

'And I couldn't stop talking about him.' Gary grinned.
'I must have driven you mad . . . d'you reckon Dad's
turning in his grave at the pair of us?'

Zee uttered something between a laugh and a cry.
'Turning? Spinning more like!'

Footsteps clattered over the cobblestones towards
them. 'We couldn't just stay in the car,' came their
mother's voice breathlessly and there she was, standing
behind them with the twins. 'Don't forget the good
memories too,' she said. 'The family picnics, the swimming
trips, blackberrying Sundays, Dad coming home on
a Friday night with a fistful of chocolate bars.'

'I do remember those,' said Zee, surprising herself.
She wondered how she could possibly have forgotten.

'It's what he'd want you to remember. How he lived
– not how he died.'

The boat's hooter blew urgently and Zee looked at
Tasha waiting at the top of the gangway. The twins
started heaving her luggage about. They were all waiting
for her to go. It was time to leave.

'So,' she said, 'what now, Gary? Will you go back
home with Mum?'

'I will,' he said, slowly and carefully, 'if
you
will.'

'That's not fair!'

'Isn't it?' His eyes were shrewd, cutting through her
façade. 'I think you want to,' he said.

She threw a glance at Conor. Would it be fair on him
if she stayed? He shouldn't feel tied to a girl with a face
like hers. His little box was still in her hand and on
impulse she tore off the tape and squinted inside the
paper bag.

'No!' exclaimed Conor but it was too late.

Condoms, a box of three. Zee burst out laughing.
'How romantic, Con!'

'It was just to show you . . . er. . . I still want . . . er. . . '
He had turned bright red.

'I might not get any prettier than this,' she warned him.

'So? I might stay an arrogant git for ever.'

'I'd bet on it,' muttered Gary.

Zee hesitated. Gary wasn't the only one who could
make conditions, she thought. 'I suppose I could stay,'
she said, 'if the two of you were to make up.'

Gary and Conor sized each other up, a bit like they
had on the eleventh night. Only this time Gary wasn't
spoiling for a fight and Conor wasn't looking as if he
was surrounded by aliens. In the end it was Gary who
held out his hand. Conor didn't exactly shake it, more of
a slap really, but the tension between them vanished.

'They're coming home,' shouted Josh excitedly,
'we're gonna be a family again!'

At that, Tasha came down the gangplank. 'You're not
coming to my dad's or to Redbales, are you, Zee?' She
couldn't keep the disappointment out of her voice.

'One day, maybe I will go to England,' said Zee, 'but
not now.'

They fell into each other's arms and hugged tightly,
too choked up to speak.

'It's been the most amazing summer,' said Tasha at
last. 'We've been through so much together – I feel like
a different person.'

'It's been pretty amazing for me too, Tash. You will
come back for Christmas, won't you?'

'Nothing could stop me.' Tasha blinked hard. 'You're
the best friend I've ever had, Zee.'

'Friends forever – yeah?'

'Forever.'

Tasha spun on her heel and fled back to the boat, and
Zee leaned into the comforting, familiar form of her
mother. One thing had become completely clear to her.
She didn't want London or Redbales. Right now she
didn't want any folk or any country except her own. She
wanted to be here in Belfast with
her
family,
her
school
and
her
boyfriend.

Nothing could scare her now. She had met the Grief
Tiger head on after all, and she had survived. There was
nothing to run away from. The tiger might still leap out
at her occasionally, she knew that, but she would cope.
She had got her family back.

Gemma sighed and slipped her hand happily through
Zee's. 'I won't get to see those furry guards,' she said
and then she beamed at Josh. 'And
you
won't get the
front seat home.'

Gary pulled Ruby out of the shadows and Magda and
Miguel joined them. With a series of farewell hoots, the
boat pulled away and Conor put his arms around Zee
and kissed her.

She turned and looked at the two suitcases stranded
on the pier and at the car a hundred yards away, and then
she grinned at Ruby. 'Do you think these big lads are
expecting me to lug my cases all the way back there?'

'Wi' guys, nothin' surprises me,' said Ruby, twinkling.
'We'll have to keep these two in order, so we will.'

Zee turned to them with her hands on her hips and a
voice that would brook no argument. 'Right, come on
then, you big eejits! One case each!'

Conor looked at Gary and shook his head solemnly.
'Bossy as ever, isn't she?'

'Aye, we don't stand a chance,' said Gary. 'Know
what I think, Con? I think you and me had best stick
together.'