“Yeah.” His pupils got bigger as he watched two ambulances streak by them on the way back to Tampa. “Mommy, did they take Dad to the hospital in one of those?”
Imagining what hideous tortures Gray had endured brought bile up in Andi’s throat, but she swallowed it. For Brett’s sake, she kept her tone light. “They might have, at some point. But I imagine they brought him back from South America on a plane.”
“Do you think he can swim?” Brett watched some older kids cavorting on personal water vehicles as their car crept along next to the causeway beach.
Andi felt a momentary twinge of guilt. Her unreasonable fear of drowning had kept her from taking her son for outings in the pool and on the beaches, which cut him out of a lot of
“I bet he can. Lisa in my swimming class can swim real good, and she can’t walk at all, even with crutches.”
“You’ll have to ask your dad.” Swimming was only one of many skills Andi had no idea whether Gray had possessed before his ordeal, much less now.
“Okay. Look, Mommy. There’s a big dog playing out in the water. Can I have one?” Brett pointed toward a ribbon of sand along the causeway. A happy looking golden retriever trotted out of the murky water toward its master, a stick clenched between its teeth.
“No. It wouldn’t be fair, keeping a dog inside all day while you’re at school and I’m working,” Andi told her son for what had to have been the hundredth time.
He shot a longing look at the dog. “Maybe Dad has a dog.”
“He doesn’t. He has to work, too.”
Brett kept quiet for a few minutes, as if deep in thought. Just as Andi was beginning to hope he’d stay silent until the traffic cleared, he turned to her. “You won’t have to work when you and Dad get married. You can stay home, the way Kristine does since she married Tony.”
Damn the traffic and the dog and her son’s constant chatter. Between them, her patience was close to the breaking point. “That’s not going to happen, Brett.”
“But you told me you never got married because you thought Dad was dead. Aren’t you going to marry him now?”
Oh, God. It hadn’t been a month since some jerk kid at school had taunted Brett about his mom not having a husband, since she’d spun that tall tale about how she and his dad would have married if only he hadn’t died while protecting their country. Why was it every time she opened her big mouth her words came back to haunt her?
“No, Brett.”
“Why not?”
Someone farther back in the line of westbound cars blasted on his horn. When Andi looked up, she noticed traffic ahead of her had started moving.
“I’ve got to watch the road. We’ll talk about this later,” she said as she pulled into the space the car ahead of her had just vacated.
“Is it because he got hurt? Because he’s got scars?”
“Of course not. Brett, your dad’s the same man he always was, inside. Inside is what counts. Haven’t I always told you that?”
“Then why won’t you marry him? Take care of him?” he asked, his plaintive tone tearing at Andi’s heart.
She kept her eyes on the road, tried to banish a mental picture of Gray’s face, still compelling in spite of its imperfections.
“Why, Mommy?”
“Not now, Brett. I have to pay attention to traffic.” The words came out sounding harsher than she’d intended. “Sorry, buddy. You just don’t understand.”
How the hell could she tell a seven-year-old kid she’d lied? That he was the product of a glorified three-night stand, not the love match of the century?
How could she explain that chances were, if Gray had known about her pregnancy, he probably would have offered no more than financial support—certainly not the cozy family scene she’d painted to salve her son’s wounded pride?
Good thing lying was just a sin, not a crime. Andi doubted even silver-tongued Tony Landry could put a positive spin on what she’d done to salvage her own ego as much as bolster Brett’s self-image.
“Aren’t you glad Dad’s not really dead?”
“Of course.” That was the truth. The whole truth. She’d cried for days when his boss had confirmed that he’d been killed…grieved for months. Damn it, she’d missed his sexy grin, his magic touch, the erotic sensation of being under his control, nearly every day since he’d been gone.
“Then why don’t you want to marry him now? Moms and dads and kids ought to live together.”
Because she and Gray were strangers. Because the last thing Gray would want would be to marry her. Because she wasn’t the woman she’d been eight years ago any more than he was the same man. A thousand becauses Andi couldn’t begin to explain to a child.
“Brett, you’re too little to understand.” She shouldn’t have snapped at him and she knew it. After all, this mess was her fault, not his. If only she could distract the kid who already showed promise of becoming as adept at arguing as anyone might expect, knowing both of his parents had chosen the law as their profession.
“This is where your dad lives. We’re finally here. I can’t wait to hit the beach. How about you?” Nervous, she popped the trunk latch and opened the door.
“Yeah!” Snatching his duffel bag, Brett bounded toward the building.
Andi picked up her own weekender and hurried to keep him in sight. Thank God he was still young enough to distract with the prospect of a special treat. With a lot of luck, he’d get so caught up in having fun, he’d forget all about her tall tale about ill-fated love and the tragedy that had ended it.
Recalling that luck had never been her bosom buddy, Andi made a silent prayer that Brett would at least refrain from sharing her lie with Gray before she found opportunity to confess it and throw herself at his mercy. She fought to hold her hand steady when she knocked on his door.
Gray greeted them on crutches, his smile very different from the scowl he’d worn a week ago. The lines around his mouth seemed less pronounced, too.
“Are you ready for us?” Andi asked, shoving her worries to the back of her mind.
“Come on in. I’d offer to take your bags, but—”
Apparently he was as nervous as she. “We’ll be fine. Come on, Brett.”
“Dad, can we go down to the beach now?” Brett asked.
“Sure. Put your things in your rooms first.” He gestured down the hallway to the left. “Second and third doors. Hurry and change. We’ll go grab some hot dogs from one of the vendors and watch the sunset.”
* * * * *
“You’ve done a great job with him.” Not every single parent, especially a mom whose job was as demanding as hers, could have brought up a kid as obviously well-adjusted as their son.
Andi looked over at Brett and the sandcastle he was building, out of earshot yet close enough that Gray knew she could run and grab him if he decided to stray too close to the gentle surf. “Yeah. He’s a good kid. I just hope he doesn’t suddenly decide he wants to take a swim.”
“The water within a hundred yards of shore’s not more than a few inches deep. He should be okay. I take it you still haven’t conquered your fear of water.”
She laughed. “I can’t believe you remember after all this time. No, I’m still petrified of getting into any more water than I can put into my bathtub. Brett’s hoping you’ll be more enthusiastic about water sports than I.”
“Swimming’s one of the few sports I can still manage. I have to do it in a pool, though, not out there.”
“Brett will be happy to hear you like to swim, even if it has to be in the pool. He’s pretty good. Last summer he got his beginner certificate, and I’ve signed him up for more lessons as soon as school lets out.”
Andi’s generosity touched Gray. He reached out and clasped her hand. “Thank you for having him. For sharing him with me. Hell, I wish you hadn’t had to wait eight years to hear me tell you that.” He wished he’d had those years with his sturdy son who looked so much like him that it was spooky. Lost years he could never reclaim.
“Better late than never.” Andi leaned toward him, speaking loudly above the rising wind.
Was it? Gray stared down at himself and at the beach chairs Andi had carried while he dragged himself down here across the deep, dry sand. He’d wanted to sprawl on the beach with Brett and help him build his castle, but if he had, he’d never get back on his feet.
“Gray?”
“Yeah?”
“What’s wrong?”
“Nothing.” Nothing Andi could do anything about, any more than she could divert the angry looking clouds that hovered on the horizon. “Looks as though a storm’s brewing out there.”
Lightning crackled, and more thunder crashed over swelling waves. Andi stood and folded her chair. “Sounds that way, too. Brett, come on. We’d better get inside.”
Mother and son wrestled the wind to fold a beach towel while he fiddled with his braces. When Andi called out Gray’s name, he did his best to hurry.
They’d have ice cream on sticks, watch one of the G-rated movies Gray had rented on the way home from work. Or maybe watch the storm from the safety of his living room. One small family unit, bound by blood but held apart by time and circumstances beyond their control.
Would they get over the awkwardness? Would time erase the uneasiness he sensed in Andi every time she looked him in the eye? He couldn’t expect more. Despite their ancient history, they were virtual strangers. Only Brett seemed okay—living proof that kids took changes in stride better than grown-ups.
Time moved on, but slowly, the way he moved now even with the wind at his back.
He and Andi would take cautious steps toward knowing each other, becoming friends. They’d make it. Their journey would be easier because they had a child to lead the way.
Gray hauled himself to his feet and began the arduous trek across windblown sand. The fifty yards might as well have been fifty miles, the way he felt by the time he finally joined Andi and Brett by the elevator.
* * * * *
“Brett is down for the count.”
It felt good holding his son. “Want me to take him to his room?” In the wheelchair, that was possible, though Gray imagined the awkward motions of his arms on the wheels would waken Brett.
“Not necessary. He’s still light enough for me to carry.” Andi bent, pausing above him as she slid her hands under the little boy. The neckline of her T-shirt thing gaped open, providing an arousing view of her breasts. It was all Gray could do to resist lowering his head, nuzzling the alabaster inner curve that defined her cleavage, especially when she brushed his thighs with her knuckles as she lifted their son off his lap.
He had to be hallucinating. Her action couldn’t have been less sexual, but his cock was swelling so fast he felt light-headed. When Andi rose, Brett in her arms, she paused a moment. When her soft gaze met his, she smiled. A soft, submissive smile like the ones imprinted in his memories. Her pink tongue darted out of her mouth, wet her lips. Gray could no longer deny the sexual tension—or assume any longer that it was all one-sided.
As though rejoining Gray after carrying Brett to bed were the most natural thing in the world for her to do, Andi came back a few minutes later, curled her legs beneath her neatly rounded ass, and leaned against the sofa cushions.
Gray wasn’t proud of the resentment that had welled up in his gut when he watched her carry their son off to bed without apparent effort. He tried to squelch the thought that he should have been the one performing that simple act of putting Brett in bed.
Andi looked straight at him, then shot him a nervous looking smile. “Gray, I’ve got to tell you something.”
“Shoot.”
Her smile wavered. “That’s what I imagine you’ll want to do to me after I tell you Brett thinks we were all but married before you…”
“Died?”
“Yeah. Some kids at school teased him because he didn’t have a dad. I lied because I thought you were dead and that it wouldn’t hurt anybody for Brett to believe his parents had been in love.” Andi straightened her legs and leaned toward him, as if seeking his understanding.
He couldn’t fault her for trying to make their son feel good about himself. “Andi, don’t sweat it.” Gray saw fear in her sea-blue gaze.
“You don’t understand. I didn’t just lie. I lied like the proverbial rug. Spun a fairy tale right out of Grimm’s. I won’t deny that at least part of the reason I did it was to make myself look better.
“Now Brett thinks we were madly in love, that we’d already planned the wedding before you left for that assignment in hell. I didn’t have the heart to tell him he was the surprise result of the best and only extended one-night stand of my life. Hell, I didn’t even have the decency to leave my white lie unembellished.” Outside, lightning crackled and thunder boomed, as if to punctuate Andi’s confession.
“That’s all?”
“Yes, except that I did such a good job lying, Brett’s already suggested we should do it now that you’re back. Marry, that is. I’ve tried to explain how things change. But he may say something to you…”
“If he does, I’ll keep your secret.”
“Thanks.”
Gray watched Andi stretch her long, sexy legs across the couch cushions, observed the shallow rise and fall of her breasts as she breathed in and out. Her lower lip quivered the tiniest bit, tempting him to taste it, use his mouth and tongue to show her he understood what she’d done and why. He could slide his hands down her lithe body, find that sensitive spot at the base of her throat, tweak her incredibly responsive nipples until he had her squirming and begging for his cock…
For a moment he considered suggesting they turn her lie into the truth. Then his own reality intruded. He wasn’t the man Andi had spun a fantasy about to their son. He wasn’t even the man she’d met and fallen into bed with in another lifetime. Wasn’t and would never be.
Damn it, he shouldn’t have to keep reminding himself every few minutes that he had no business lusting after what he could no longer have. As if in warning, the thunder clapped again, louder this time.
Andi shuddered, a strangely sensual motion that contrasted with the fierceness of the storm. “You know, I’m afraid of lightning. Always have been. I wish…”
“What do you wish, Andi?”
Gray recalled another night and another storm, and how she’d trembled in his arms. They’d been caught out on the beach in a thunderstorm, just before running back up here and creating a tempest of their own.