It’s Christmas Everywhere But Here (6 page)

“Not a lot to do in the middle of the desert except workout.”

“Guess not.” Russ watched his fingers trail over the irregular squares of Dave’s abs. His hand was caught when it wandered below Dave’s belly button.

“Thought we were supposed to behave.”

“We are.” Russ turned back to the sink and tried not to stare in the mirror. Dave’s chest and biceps were larger than he remembered, or maybe just seemed like it in comparison to the lean waist. Dave had always been fit, but now his ribs were visible, and the creases of his hips stood out sharply.

“If we’re supposed to behave, stop looking at me like that.” There was a kiss on the bare skin of Russ’s shoulder.

“Sorry.” He cast his eyes down and concentrated on flossing. When he glanced back up, Dave was watching him in the mirror, the toothbrush working back and forth mechanically.

Dave bent forward to spit and rinse. Russ stepped back so Dave could move past him to the toilet. They each stopped and looked up at the other.

Dave grinned first. “Is it weird that I missed this?”

“Missed what?”

“Us. Getting ready for bed. Dancing around each other in a too small bathroom.”

Russ finished flossing and rinsed out his mouth. “No.” He cupped Dave’s chin and pulled his husband in for a kiss. “Missed you so much.”

When he pulled away, Dave grabbed a fistful of his tank top and hauled him back into the kiss. “Missed you back, lover.”

Russ stepped back, letting his fingers trail down Dave’s bare chest. He let himself out into the hall, pulled the door shut, and leaned against the wood. It was hard to breathe past the lump in his throat, hard to think past the need to push Dave up against the wall and just be with him.

He pushed away from the door, hand shaking as much as his breath. He’d half expected to find Doris lurking, but the door to his parents’ bedroom was closed.

Russ tidied up the guest room and was sliding between the sheets when Dave entered. It was hard not to watch when Dave took off his pants and slid between the covers in just his boxers. The aching need to touch him, be enveloped by him was back. Russ kept his hands to himself as Dave lay down, stretched out, and reached his arms up above his head. Dave grunted and—wriggled.

“You, um. You should really put a T-shirt on.”

Dave squinted at him. “You know I hate sleeping in T-shirts.”

“Yeah, but the kids will probably crawl in. And, um….” Dave was still wiggling. “Do you have to do that?”

“What?” Dave looked down at himself. “Oh.” Grinning, he grabbed Russ, hauling them together, chest to chest. Russ inhaled deeply. “It’s a bed, lover. Not a cot or a billet or some narrow thing with a bit of foam pretending to be a mattress, it’s an honest-to-God
bed
. And the person I love most is sharing it with me.”

Russ closed his eyes and leaned his head against Dave’s.

“Russ?” Strong hands stroked down Russ’s back, stopping just above the curve of his ass. They tugged, pulling his hips forward to connect with Dave’s. “Baby?”

Russ kept his eyes closed, inhaling his lover’s scent. “I’m worried.”

“Why?” Dave’s brow furrowed, and one hand came up to bury in Russ’s hair.

“That this is a dream. And I’m going to wake up and it’ll be Christmas morning again and you’ll be just a dream.” Russ clung to his partner, trying to wind their legs together.

“No. No, it’s not a dream.” Dave pushed the hair back out of Russ’s face. “I know it’s not a dream.”

“How? How are you sure?” Russ opened his eyes at the brush of Dave’s nose against his own.

“Because.” Rough fingers traced Russ’s temple, where the gray showed more than it had two years ago. “In my dreams, I never got to actually kiss you. I’d always wake up right before.” Dave’s hand stilled in Russ’s hair. The hand at Russ’s back had fisted in his tank top.

“Baby?” Dave looked—uncertain.

Russ bent his head forward. “Yeah?”

“Prove I’m not dreaming?”

Russ fought the urge to close his eyes as they closed the distance between them. Their lips brushed, slightly off-kilter. Dave’s lips were dry and caught at the skin of Russ’s own. Russ angled his head, opening his mouth, letting his tongue out to moisten Dave’s top lip.

Dave groaned, hot breath on Russ’s skin. Russ sucked in the air along with Dave’s bottom lip, coaxing him to keep his mouth open. Dave pushed forward, and Russ pulled back, teasing, letting the feel of an agile tongue spark all the way down to his toes. He lay back, pliant, letting Dave cover him.

How long had it been since they’d said a proper good-night? How long since they’d been able to share space, even as simply as this?

The staccato of light footsteps barely registered, but the dip in the mattress and the command of “Stop” had them both blinking against the light from the hall.

Austin perched on the edge of the bed, wearing sweatpants and his tyrannosaur sweatshirt and staring at Dave’s shoulder.

“Do you want to climb in?”

Austin took it as invitation and crawled over to the far side of the bed. It was good he weighed so little, though Dave did comment, “I think his elbows have gotten sharper.”

“Wait ’til he gets your kidney in the middle of the night.” Russ stole one last, mostly chaste, kiss before they settled into bed. “Ems?”

There was a sharp intake of breath from out in the hall. Emily’s head appeared around the door frame. “What?”

“Please turn off the hall light before you get in here.”

Russ smiled at Dave, who was smiling at the little lump of Austin, curled up completely under the covers, his back to Dave’s side.

“I’m a little old for sleeping with you, Russ.”

“Fine. Then turn off the light and go back to your own bed.” Russ made a pillow out of Dave’s shoulder and closed his eyes.

A moment later, Russ heard the click of the hall light. A moment after that, Emily was pulling up the covers and scooting in behind him.

“Hey, sweet girl.” Dave reached over Russ, probably to cup his daughter’s face.

“Hey, Daddy.”

“Sleep!”

Dave snorted a chuckle. “Yes, Aus.” Russ got one more kiss before they stilled and settled down.

R
USS
TUGGED
his pajama bottoms back into place before pulling open the bathroom door. Midnight trips to the bathroom. The thing he hated most about getting old… er. Of course, drinking fewer fluids in the hours leading up to bedtime wasn’t an option.

He staggered across the hall, felt his way around the end table, slipped under the covers, and rolled over to snuggle with—an empty pillow.

“David?”

Russ carefully slid his hand across the cool linen. He hit the edge of the bed before finding his husband.

He lay, arm extended, pulse thudding in his ears, and a cold fist squeezing his chest. A dream after all?

The nightstand rattled as Russ fumbled for the light in the unfamiliar room. Something fell over on the metal tray before he got the light switched on. No Dave, just the little lump of Austin curled up at the foot of the bed. Russ reached over to straighten the fallen picture frame. The dream had seemed so vivid. He reached for the light switch.

There were black boots and a rucksack tucked in the corner.

Not a dream. “Thank God.”

Russ kicked out of bed, shutting off the light before he woke Austin. He turned down the back hall. Max was on the Hide-A-Bed in the den. Austin’s bed in the guest room he shared with Emily was empty, still tightly made.

Russ reversed back down the hall and out into the living room. The tree lights were still on, and in their soft glow, Dave lay asleep on the couch. Russ slumped against the wall, sliding down until his head rested on his knees. Dave was finally home, and they were still apart.

Russ scrubbed at his face, forced himself to remain in place, determined not to wake Dave. He forced himself to look, really look at his husband.

Dave slept, the blanket rising and falling with his breath. How could that be comfortable? The narrow couch, a throw cushion for a pillow? Russ had slept on that couch. It was like sleeping on a—cot.

Russ buried his face in his hands and took a deep breath.

Adjusting.

The last visit home had seen this too. Dave wasn’t used to being in bed with someone. Three someones.

Russ dragged the back of his wrist across his eyes. This would settle down. Dave would get used to sleeping in a bed again. The kids would be happy. When Russ reached out in the middle of the night, David would be there.

He took a long, steadying breath. Dave hadn’t moved.

Arm flung up to rest on the side table, mouth open, breath steady. Eyes and cheeks hollow.

Russ turned his face away and toward the tree. The hollowness was just the odd colors of the Christmas lights.

And Dave wasn’t really ten pounds underweight.

Russ rose as quietly as he could and shuffled back down the hall. He lay in as thin a line as possible, wanting there to be room if Dave decided to come back to bed. He listened to the quiet house and did his best not to watch the clock tick away the minutes until morning.

“A
USTIN
DOESN
’
T
want
to go to the park today, Mom.” Russ tried to get his breathing under control and concentrated on rinsing the orange juice out of the red tyrannosaur sweatshirt. “Obviously.”

Russ was not the only one short-tempered and out of sorts that morning, as the pile of similarly juicy bits of clothing testified.

“It’s because of me, isn’t it? He was all excited to go the other day with you and Randall. But I say I’m going to go, and he doesn’t want to.”

“I can’t be certain.” Russ squeezed most of the water out and plopped the sweatshirt into the clothes basket of already rinsed items. “It’s a definite possibility.” The next shirt plunked into the sink. “I should probably just do laundry at this point.”

They’d gotten the sticky orange juice off the wood floor. Thankfully, it had been in a plastic and not a glass pitcher when Austin decided to throw it across the room, screaming at the top of his little lungs.

“Look,” Russ said before Doris could speak again. “He’s obviously upset. If you and Dad can take the dogs to the park for an hour or so, that’ll give Dave and me room to clean up and get him calmed back down again. Emily would love to go play with the dogs.” Russ turned to look at her. “Please?”

“Maybe I should stay and….”

“No.” Russ bowed his head. He bent down, arms straight on the edge of the sink, and stared at the water. “I know it feels like I’m kicking you out of your own house, but yes, I think Austin’s temper tantrum this morning had to do with you. So if you can please help me give him a couple hours of space, we’ll see if we can’t get the status quo back.” He looked over at her again.

“Fine. But Russell….” She twisted her hands. “I don’t want you and David—not in my house.”

“I gave you my word we wouldn’t, Mother.”

“Well. I….”

“I am capable of keeping a promise, Mother.”

“I—I guess that’s all right, then.”

On cue, Max stuck his head in. “Dogs are loaded, we’re ready to go. Who’s all coming?”

“Dave, Aus, and I are staying here.”

“Okay. Mom, Dad has your water bottle in the car.”

Doris opened her mouth as though she wanted to say something more, but Max was holding the door open. She nodded at Russ and headed toward Max. She paused, calling out, “We’ll be back in a couple hours, David.”

Russ closed his eyes and counted to ten. Finished rinsing the worst of the juice out, he carried the clothes down the hall. Dave was already in the washroom, sorting a pile of Austin-sized clothes.

Russ groaned.

“Carpet is cleaned. And I found the missing creamer.” Dave held up the bottle.

Russ pulled clothes from the basket and let them drop into the washer. “He dumped it in his suitcase.”

“Yes, sexy, brilliant man, he did. Does he still do that often when he doesn’t want to go someplace?”

“Thankfully, no.” Russ sighed again and fished out the T-shirt that was going to turn pink if he left it in with the red sweatshirt.

“What do you think freaked him out so bad?” Dave was putting laundry in the machine too, their elbows bumping in the small space.

“Mom. Something happened the other day when I was at the store. She won’t fess up, but he was inconsolable for a couple hours. Which sucks, because I was kind of hoping we could take him to the park today, and you could chase him around and wear him out.”

“Well, I still can.”

“He’s usually pretty thorough when he tries to ruin his clothes.”

“He missed the dirty-clothes bag. I think the opportunity to play with Daddy might override some of the other quirks.”

“All right.” Russ sank his own sticky T-shirt into the wash, then turned to grab Dave’s waist. “I’ll take care of this. Go wear the boy out.” He stole a kiss, then gave Dave a gentle push and a light pat.

“What, no flirting?”

“David, I want you, but this is not our laundry room. Go.” Russ pecked a kiss on Dave’s chin. Dave responded by hugging Russ’s arms to his sides and kissing the shell of his ear.

“When we finally crash together, lover….”

“It’ll be epic, and neither of us will walk for a week.
Go
.”

Dave stole one more kiss and went. Russ heard a whispered conversation, a low warm voice and a high soft one. Then feet running up the hallway and back again when Dave shouted a reminder about shoes.

The next time the footsteps pounded down the hall, Dave’s followed right after. Russ couldn’t help but return the grin on Dave’s face.

The first load started, Russ double-checked the floor for damp spots, double-checked the suitcase, and double-checked the kitchen for any spots of spilled juice or creamer they had missed.

Out in the yard, Dave swung Austin over his head, the boy squealing with laughter. Dave’s shirt had hiked up, and Russ paused again.

Skinny. It was the only word. Skinny and sleeping on the couch. He was surprised Doris hadn’t commented on that one.