Inner Diva (5 page)

If he’d been trying to intimidate her, she
wasn’t having it. Unless he was mistaken, she was ridiculing him
with her offers. “No need. Do you plan to pay for my sister’s
supplies?”

The tension on her face – that he’d placed
there with his interrogations – softened. “Yes, it’s no problem.
I’d like to do it.”

But even as she said it, he dug in his
pocket. No way would he allow this woman to provide for the basic
needs of his own family member. He pulled two twenties from his
wallet and thrust them at her.

She responded with a look of horror. “No, no,
Carlos. This is my treat. Really, it’s no problem.”

He persisted. “Regardless, I’ll pay for my
sister’s supplies.”

She focused on the bills in his hand for a
long moment, then shrugged. “Okay. Thank you.” She took the money
and tucked it in her pocket.

Monica moved to the door, looking anxious to
leave. Carlos followed her and caught up in two steps.

“One last thing. I’m coming with you.”

This pronouncement caused a moment of alarmed
silence. Carlos held onto a last hope that she’d call the whole
thing off.

“Why would you want to do that?”

“So that I can observe your driving skills
first hand. For Luisa’s sake.”

She stared for a moment, then she sighed.
“Okay, have it your way. I suppose you can come along.”

He nodded and called for Luisa. The little
girl emerged from her room. “How many pencils can I get?”

“As many as you need,” Monica replied and
held up the two twenties in his direction, smirking.

He wasn’t quite sure if he’d won or lost, but
he was going shopping.

This child was quite possibly the sweetest
person she’d ever had the pleasure of sharing company with. It took
so little to cause her joy. Receiving the gift of a 12-pack of
yellow #2 pencils was a pleasure worth beaming over.

“I hate to even ask,” she said, “because
you’ve already said yes to my pencils, pens and protractor, but I
do desperately need a ruler shorter than a foot long.” She looked
up with an expression so expectant Monica had to swallow a
giggle.

“And why is that?”

“I have the perfect spot for my ruler in my
desk at school, tucked way to the right, but slid straight back,
not sideways, you see?”

Monica nodded.

“But the desk is just an inch short of a foot
deep. So my ruler is always sticking out and I’m afraid someone’s
going to brush against it and either scrape themselves or break the
ruler in two.”

“So, the perfect solution is to find a ruler
that fits the desk.” Monica internally congratulated herself for
saying it with a straight face, delivered with the same seriousness
Luisa addressed the subject.

“I believe so.” The little girl nodded, her
forehead scrunched in concentration.

“Go for it.”

Those three little words, and Luisa whooped
with joy and sought out the ruler selection, her fingers tip-toeing
over the shorter ones, using many of her senses to pick out just
the right one.

Monica beamed. Her gaze shifted to Carlos who
stood planted a few yards away, watching their interaction with a
scowl on his face, his forehead creased. When he realized she was
looking at him, he shook his head and turned. Her heart did a
little flip and she felt that ridiculous attraction she always felt
around him – since the first time she’d laid eyes on him.

Why would she be attracted to someone who
obviously disapproved of her? He trusted her so little, he’d
insisted on accompanying them on their trip to the mall so he could
protect his sister from her.

It was insulting, really.

Did he think she couldn’t maneuver her car
through the traffic challenges and deliver Luisa safely to the
mall? And what was behind his insistence on paying for everything?
Was that a
machismo
throwback from his culture as a Hispanic
man?

She picked up a zippered pencil pack, forcing
her mind back to Luisa and away from her dark, brooding brother.
“Hey, Luisa. What do you think of this?” She grinned at the girl’s
reaction.

“It’s got three holes on the side! I could
store it in my three-ring binder!”

Monica tossed it in the plastic carrier Luisa
held on her forearm and glanced back at Carlos before moving to the
next aisle. Was that a vein popping out on his forehead?

He had to put his foot down sometime. After
all, how long could this shopping excursion last? They’d been to
the school supply store, and came away with bags of goodies, much
to his sister’s absolute ecstasy.

Then, they visited a store heavy with female
accessories – hair bows, cheap jewelry and stickers. Luisa
screeched her way through that store, too.

Off to the Smoothie store for a frosty drink
before heading to the shoe store, not to buy this time, but just to
look.

What a waste of time. His time. He’d almost
protested on several occasions.

And then he remembered he wasn’t exactly
invited on this outing to begin with. He’d pretty much manhandled
his way into the evening with Luisa and Monica. Who was he now to
ask for an early end?

As he counted the minutes, the ladies
chatted, tried on shoes and had fun. Monica enjoyed being with his
sister, and it was no act for his benefit, he was sure of that.
Luisa glowed in the older girl’s attention.

For a split second, he found himself
wondering what it would be like to bask in Monica’s attention and
approval.

She wasn’t a typical beauty. She wasn’t as
show-stopping gorgeous as Angela. But there was something about
her. Maybe her creamy skin that glowed without artificial
enhancement. Or maybe her mouth that was just a little too full for
her face. Full, red lips he could make good use of as his own lips
devoured hers.

Or her eyes. Guarded around him, always
watching, taking notice of where he was and what he was doing. Was
she interested in him or did he intimidate her? Did he want to
scare her off? Or interest her enough to get to know him
better?

He’d have to consider it later.

For now, he dragged himself to his feet and
followed them to the next store: oh Lord, a pet shop?

Monica pulled into the driveway in front of
Luisa and Carlos’s house and shut off the engine. Luisa jumped out
from the backseat and Monica was about to follow when Carlos
reached out and placed his hand on her wrist. The gasp that escaped
from her mouth, as well as the quake that traveled through her
entire torso were unplanned and unstoppable. There was something
about Carlos – despite the fact that he seemed so suspicious of her
– and the fact that he was so totally unlike every man she’d ever
dated – and the fact that he seemed to be in a bad mood every time
she was around. Despite all that, there was a chemistry that
sizzled within her each time he was near. Call it hormones. Call it
puppy love. Whatever. But it was intense, and it was
undeniable.

Embarrassed by her unbidden response to him,
she tried to quickly pull herself together. She turned to him.
“Yes?”

He cleared his throat and let his hand drop
from her skin. “I just wanted to say, you were great with Luisa
tonight. She really had a good time.”

Caught by surprise by his compliment, Monica
was speechless. Her mouth dropped open and she was probably staring
at him like he was an alien. Again she recovered with some effort
on her part. “Well, thank you, Carlos. I had a really good time,
too. I always do when I’m with Luisa. She’s a really great little
girl, you know that?”

He nodded. “I do. And I only want what’s best
for her.”

“Of course you do.” But he acted as if he
suspected she
wasn’t
best for her. Monica wondered how she
could broach that subject without spoiling the moment of truce
they’d stumbled upon tonight.

“Have you volunteered for Big Sisters
before?”

“No, I haven’t. Luisa is my first.”

He frowned. She had an impulse to share her
credentials to give him comfort that she was qualified to spend
time with his sister, but she stopped herself. She’d already proven
herself to the organization, to Senora Garcia and to Luisa. She
wasn’t required to re-interview with him.

“You obviously have concerns about my
spending time with her.”

He shook his head. “No, it’s just that I
don’t want her to get too attached. Especially if you’re not in
this for the long haul.”

Monica blinked. Now, that was a surprise.
He’d just turned tables on her. Instead of not wanting her to spend
any time with Luisa, now he wanted her to be in it for the long
haul. This tall, dark, handsome Latino was a total mystery to
her.

How she’d love to unravel him, one layer at a
time.

The thought caused
heat to flood her cheeks and she busied herself pulling the key out
of the ignition and locating her purse. She looked out through the
windshield and saw Luisa waiting on the doorstep. “I’ll just go say
good-bye to Luisa, then I’ll be off.”

He nodded.
“Adios.”

Throughout work, awareness lingered just
beyond his conscious thought. Buried in a car’s engine, a thought
would slip into his mind – tonight, she’d come – and then slip out.
Only to permeate his thoughts moments later – he’d see her
tonight.

It drove him crazy.

He shouldn’t be thinking about this woman.
Why did she invade his day, his thoughts, his mind? It wasn’t like
he wanted her. Or she wanted him.

Carlos scraped fried chicken sticks from the
baking sheet onto two plates and called, “Luisa! Time for
dinner.”

She ran into the kitchen as if shot from a
slingshot, her cheerful appreciation of the simple meal nudging a
grin from him.

“Monica’s coming tonight!” she said between
chews. He gave her an eyebrow lift, which she correctly read as,
“Don’t talk with your mouth full,” and she turned her attention
back to her meal.

And yet, he couldn’t deny that there was
something between him and Monica. Some sort of cautious attraction.
Carlos knew what a woman’s desire looked like, felt like. He was no
stranger to women being attracted and making no secret about it.
But Monica was different.

He knew from talking to Mama she had some
kind of high-powered office job. Just like Angela. And he knew from
talking to Monica that she was educated and intelligent. She was
probably well respected in her career, successful. Again, the
similarities between the two women were too close for comfort, even
if Luisa didn’t pick up on them.

Even if he was attracted to her – which he
wasn’t – what would she want with him, a guy with hands stained
with grease?

He picked up a bag of potato chips from the
counter and plopped it in the middle of the table. Luisa took a few
and munched happily. “Monica said if I finish my homework tonight
and we still have time, she’ll take me to the playground before it
gets dark.” She chuckled. “Little does she know, I don’t have much
homework left. I finished it in school!”

Carlos couldn’t hide a snicker. How someone
could be so enthused and excited about school and still have his
blood flowing through their veins, was a mystery to him. He
could’ve learned from someone like Luisa if he’d had a role model
like her when he was her age. School hadn’t been important to him,
other than as a way to make friends. Male and female.

The doorbell rang and Luisa squealed, picked
up her plate and ran with it toward the kitchen. “Luisa – “ he
began, about to light into her for screaming like a maniac every
time Monica appeared, but she shrieked, “I’m done! I don’t want
anymore. Really.” She clattered her plastic plate in the sink,
turned and raced to the front door. She paused a split second to
smooth her untidy hair and then swung the door open.

At the sight of her mentor, Luisa dove into a
hug and Monica crouched down to receive the full power of his
sister’s enthusiasm. He observed from the table. The two hugged
with ferocity like long-lost cousins reunited. He watched his
sister a moment, then he turned his gaze to Monica.

She closed her eyes and a peaceful smile
played on her lips. Her nose rested in Luisa’s hair and he could
tell she was breathing in the child’s scent. As he watched her soak
up the hug, he imagined holding her himself while she closed her
eyes and went breathless from pressing her body against his. He
would brush his lips against that soft smile, just to see how she
would taste. How she would use those beautiful, full lips on
his.

The girls parted and he noticed with chagrin
how his own body reacted to his daydream. He’d have to rein in his
imagination for a few minutes before he could stand and greet her.
Make a real effort to think about something different. Like an ugly
old man. And a bucket of cold water.

“Monica’s here, Carlos.” Luisa had brought
her over and they both stood in front of him, looking at him,
waiting for some sort of reaction.

“Yeah, hi.” A little brusque, sure, but under
the circumstances he’d done well to get even those two syllables
out. But his glimpse of Monica’s hurt expression as she turned away
gave him a little stab.

As Luisa led Monica to her room, he could
hear her telling Monica about homework and Monica’s pleased voice
in response.

He sighed and took his empty plate to the
kitchen. A few minutes later, Monica and Luisa returned to the
table where Luisa pulled out a single math worksheet, partially
completed. Returning to the dining room, he approached Monica. She
kept her attention glued on Luisa. When he stood close enough to
touch her and she still avoided acknowledging him, he put a hand on
her shoulder.

A shudder ripped through her and she yanked
her gaze in his direction, surprise on her face.