I'm Judging You (9 page)

Don't walk around looking like Pigpen and leaving a cloud of funk in your wake. That's not okay. Get your grimy self into the bathroom and purify yourself in the waters of non–Lake Minnetonka. Wash the things you wear. Use lotion so you don't age like Benjamin Button when he was five (but looked eighty-five). Do not create denim mutant robots because you act allergic to laundry detergent. That's all. I'm not asking for too much.

Better: we must does it.

 

PART

II

Culture

I am a Nigerian-born, American-raised Black woman who is straight. I'm Christian, I'm walking without any assistance, and I've never been poor. This is how I identify myself, and these are the spaces I take up. Every piece of my identity is important to me and has absolutely played a role in who and where I am today. My life has been made easier by many of these things, and made harder by several others. Of course, my own hard work has gotten me here, too, but I have not had as many obstacles thrown in my way in the race of life as others have.

There are seven billion of us on this earth, and we are all different. But one thing is clear: humans excel at using our differences as excuses to act like assholes and torment one another. It is highly unfortunate that we use these innate, integral, and often uncontrollable things to mistreat others. We have created rigid, yet often invisible, systems that keep some people at the top, on the backs of others at the bottom, based on their identity markers. And we refuse to fix these systems of inequality because being at the top of the food chain is the place to be, so who would want to lose those perks? The air up there is so nice, who cares about those in the gutter?

I am judging all of us for being shitty humans by being culture vultures, homophobic jackasses, racist trolls, sexist douchebags, and born-again hypocrites
.

 

7. Racism Is for Assholes

When your empire grows out of soil fertilized with the blood of a people, it must sustain its power with their continued bloodshed. The United States of America was built on the backs of Black and brown people, and it still stands on our necks. This is why I'm judging this country for the racism that permeates everything about it. It's why those of us who are melanin-rich often cannot have nice things, like freedom, equality, and liberty. CAN WE LIVE?

As I write this, a Black church is burning in South Carolina, and crews are fighting to put the fire out. This church is the seventh in two weeks that has been set aflame, and I am in a state of disbelief that in my lifetime, I am seeing this happen. This is what I read about in textbooks when I was in high school, and I'd shake my head and thank those freedom fighters who came before me for standing tall and facing those flames so I would not have to live in that type of world. I read the story of the four little girls who went to Bible study in Birmingham, Alabama, only to be blown to their deaths when their church was firebombed. I could not fathom how it would feel to live in a world where deadly hatred would meet people even in their sanctuaries. That is, until June 17, 2015, when nine people who were at church, praising God, were shot and killed by a white man, a racist terrorist.

In Charleston, South Carolina, a small Bible-study group was praying to the Lord on an otherwise uneventful Wednesday at Emanuel AME Church, the oldest Black church in the South. A white supremacist walked in, pretending to want to pray with them, and then pulled out a gun and murdered nine Black worshippers in cold blood. It was an invasion of a place of refuge, a violation of a literal safe space, and definitive proof that there is still a war on Black people in America. Nowhere is safe for us. The work that has been done over half a century to get us closer to equality has regressed, and it feels like we're back to where we started. And now another one of our churches is burning.
In 2015
.

America is treating Black people like vermin, and it's hard not to feel like we're unwanted and unsafe. It is open season on Black people, and that was not some lone gunman who walked into Emanuel AME. He represents the ongoing commitment to keep us in our place
—
a violent reminder that we are not safe. We are not safe in the streets, in our homes, at the park, or at church. And I am fucked up about it because this was supposed to be history—not the present—and I feel the anger from the top of my head as it reverberates down to my toes. This rage makes my skin burn. I feel the fire in my bones.

This is racism at its worst. It is ugly, demented, and vile. It also permeates every fiber of what the United States is made of, and it is what built the foundation of this country. It is like a cockroach you think you've killed, but every time you go to your bathroom at night, you see it chilling all brazen on the sink. And you're like,
Didn't I spray you with Raid and stomp on you in my steel-toed boots? What are you doing here?!
Police have body-slammed young Black girls who were swimming at pools and killed countless unarmed people for the crime of living while Black. There have been nooses spotted hanging around college campuses, and there are 892 hate organizations currently active in the United States, the majority of which promote white supremacy. There was a viral video of a fraternity of white boys singing songs about not letting “niggers” in. Now we have to deal with the bitter cherry on the tragic sundae of oppression with the denigration of our churches and the murder of worshippers. Who in the hell left these hateful gates open?

It is truly exhausting, and I'm not sure if I'm thankful for the undeniable proof that racism is still all around us, or wishful for the days when we could be tricked into thinking things were not so bad. But racism is not just random individuals burning churches and Black people being gunned down in the streets by cops. It is a system of oppression that is so deep and omnipresent that it seeps into every single aspect of our lives, and it is as American as apple pie drizzled with canned cheese, topped with french fries. The red stripes on the flag are really the blood of Black and brown people, and many centuries after the country's creation, these stains still have not faded. The history of this country is like
Grimm's Fully Fucked-up Tales of Prejudice
.

And let's pause here to say that racism in America is stupid as hell. Racism and prejudice anywhere is dumber than wearing a wool bathing suit in the ocean. It always makes no fucking sense, but it's especially absurd here. The United States of America is a country founded on the labor and literal bodies of Black and brown people who were minding their own business when white folks came forth to kill and exploit them. This is a place that was “discovered” by a dude who didn't know how to read a map, so he just showed up on some shore, thought he was in India, and then proceeded to plant a flag there, like, “TA-DA.” No, sir, no. What Christopher Columbus's goofass needed was a compass and a clue for being so aggressively mediocre, but that dude has a federal holiday in his honor. He showed up on someone else's property and claimed it as his
because he didn't know what it was
. This country started off all the way wrong and continued in the same fashion.

Chris an' 'em then slaughtered Native Americans, wiping out whole tribes, pillaging a people, and called it Thanksgiving. So much awful, so little time. Then, to add to the mess, the dudebros realized they didn't even have the ability to build dope shit on their own. So they went to Africa and captured Black people and brought them here to be their slaves—after killing millions on the journey here, of course. Because if you wanna out-terrible yourself, you stuff millions of human beings inside ships, refuse to feed them, let them lie in their own filth, and let them die in droves. So not only did you steal someone else's home and then kill them when they showed you kindness, you went elsewhere and did some more stealing, this time of actual people, and forced them to come to your STOLEN HOUSE to do your work for you. What the fuck, white people? I mean really, what in the ever-loving fuck? By the way, you're welcome for this “too long; didn't read” version of imperialism in America. This is why I should teach. Honestly, I wouldn't do any worse than current textbooks. Like the ones in Texas that used the word “workers” instead of “slaves” in the section about the transatlantic
slave
trade. As if Black people were at a career fair in Africa where we submitted résumés and asked to be beaten and starved and have our families broken in exchange for a journey across the ocean and NO MONEY. At least I'd try to be a little bit accurate.

My point is that the United States does not have a legitimate history of integrity and fairness. It's been run by villains that make Disney's look like saints. Racism is not a byproduct as much as it's the foundational stock in the American soup. This is why Black people are still fighting to be recognized in our full humanity. The success of the country has been based on our oppression, so of course it is forever fresh out of dambs to give about Black lives. We are left to grieve for those we've lost to the grubby hands of white supremacy, we rage about the perpetual cycle of mourning we find ourselves in, and we wonder what we need to do to be secure in our own skins.

How do we fight racism and racial injustice? I am not sure, but I think part of it has to be that racists recognize themselves and that everyone sees how they are contributing to the system. Let's just throw all the cards on the table.

First of all, even nice people can be racists, because racism does not depend on malicious intent. It is not a requirement for you to consciously hate someone who is of a different skin color for you to be racist. Let me repeat. You do not need to actively hate someone who is of a different race than you to do racist crap and hold racist views. Prejudice can be subconscious, like a reflex to clutch your purse tighter when that Black boy walked into the elevator you were on. Racism doesn't just look like people in white hoods who are on lawns burning crosses and churches, yelling out “nigger,” and rocking blackface on Halloween for laughs. In fact, the idea that this cartoonish bigotry is what racism looks like is why some people think it is all gone and we have nothing to worry about.

The real scaffolding of racism is institutions that are so fully entwined with prejudice that to change them would require overhauling entire systems, entire ways of life. When keeping Black and brown people marginalized literally elevates white people, as they use our backs as stairs, why would they want us to stand up?
White
supremacy is ultimately the point of racism, so it is not something that
Black
people can will or wish away. We cannot respectably dress it away, un-cuss it away, protest it away.
White
people have to do it. They have to be willing to come off their (stolen) high horses and fight for change. This is why we need allies who will get uncomfortable. We need people who can look at their friends and family members and stop them in the middle of their racist jokes. It will not be comfortable to speak up, but if allies do not confront those closest to them, how do we progress?

Racism is not always white hoods and burning crosses. Sometimes, it's suits and boardrooms.

We Black and brown people are told to work twice as hard to get half as far, because we never stop auditioning for the jobs we have and we can never stop proving that we belong in the rooms we work our way into. Otherwise, we're suspected of being beneficiaries of quota systems and affirmative action. Racism is our names on our résumés being perceived as less competent and resulting in half as many job-interview callbacks as others with identical qualifications. It is the fact that Black people with college degrees often make the same as or less than a white person with a high school diploma. For women, we talk about glass ceilings; for Black people, there's often an iron gate. For Black women, well, we've got a glass ceiling with iron reinforcements.

Racism is not always white hoods and burning crosses. Sometimes, it's blue uniforms and black robes.

There's way too much haste to imprison Black women, men, and children. So much so that police will cuff (and sometimes kill) Black children that they incorrectly perceive to be a threat. The all-too-common perception that Black kids are just short adults, prone to criminal activity, is especially heartbreaking. They are treated and often tried as adults. Racism is in the case of two ten-year-olds playing in the street near their homes and ending up in handcuffs because two police officers accused them of trespassing—in their own neighborhood. How many little white boys experience that? It is the death of
Tamir Rice
, a twelve-year-old boy playing on swings at the playground while holding a BB gun. The cop who drove up to him got out of his car and shot him dead in seconds. The cop thought the gun was real and found no reason to try to resolve this situation nonviolently. Tamir was a Black boy, so that cop figured he had superpowers to kill him despite his being a child. There are countless examples of white adults pointing REAL guns at police and living to stand trial. Or even better, being talked down and taken to psych wards. But Black children are seen as dangerous criminals that people need to be protected from.

I'm kinda impressed that they think we're all superheroes who can fashion weapons out of pieces of gum, dice, and bags of chips. I am almost flattered that they think that our DNA has been X-Men-mutated so we are able to squad up at any moment. But no. Unfortunately, it's this idea that Black people are inherently violent and destructive that has been killing us for a long time. Mistaken ideas, entrenched in racism, are literally killing Black people.

It is why we have to have conversations with our kids early about how to move in America as a Black person. When we make a wrong move, like not obeying a command quick enough, or even obeying too quickly, it is a matter of life and death. It's like we're playing survival of the meekest, because as a Black person in America, you might die one day from
seeming
like a threat to someone, when you're just standing on a corner. Your very presence is frightening for no damb reason. And that fear can justify violence against you. The fact is, it is not safe to be a Black person in America.