Hitting the Right Note (33 page)

H
e was beautiful.

Dominique Royce Isaacs was the most gorgeous thing JJ had ever seen, and as she gazed at him through the glass at the hospital nursery, tears sprang to her eyes. How could she have even considered missing this, the birth of her first nephew?

“God, you are truly awesome. Thank you for bringing me here in time for this,” she whispered.

“Thank you for coming back for this. Sheree got through this so much easier because of you.”

JJ smiled at her brother's comment but kept her eyes on Dominique.

“I think Sheree was the one who got me through everything. Dominique too,” JJ said. “Look at him. It really puts everything into perspective, doesn't it?”

Dean chuckled. “That it does.”

She looked over at her brother as he gazed at his son. “Congratulations, Daddy.”

His grin spread wider. “Thank you.”

They stared at the little bundle of happiness, fogging up the glass with their coos and smiles until their mother came down and eased them aside to make space for herself.

“Look at my little grandson,” Jackie cooed. “He looks just like his grandma.”

“What?” Lissandra said, squeezing between JJ and her mother. “He does not. He clearly looks like me. Do you see those eyelashes?”

“You all have got to be joking,” Hayden said, coming up behind them. “You know he's got those Windsor genes, strong and mighty. Look at those shoulders.”

“Aww, baby, you're seeing things again,” Sydney said, slipping an arm around his waist. “I told you, you need to go get your eyes checked.”

They all laughed, and a warmth that JJ hadn't experienced in a long time spread through her. She had missed her family, more than she realized.

“Quit hogging the window, JJ.” JJ's younger sister Zelia wiggled her tiny frame in front of JJ, effectively stealing her spot at the now crowded window. “Isn't it enough that you got to be in the room for the delivery? You think you can just win favorite aunt like that? You're gonna have to fight me for it.”

JJ laughed but willingly surrendered the spot to Zelia, who promptly put her arm around her brother in a hug. JJ sighed. Zelia was right. She had spent a significant amount of time ogling Dominique. It was time to go back and see how the new mother was doing.

By the time she got to Sheree's room, the woman was stirring.

“JJ, how is my sweetheart?”

JJ smiled. “So perfectly beautiful and so beautifully perfect. Can you believe Lissandra was right about it being a boy?”

“I can, actually,” Sheree said with a weak smile. “You know your sister is a know-it-all.”

JJ laughed. “You're right.”

She slipped into the chair near Sheree's bedside. “How are you feeling?”

“Tired and sore, even though I've been sleeping for so many hours. But Dr. Massri said it will be like that for a while. He said everything looks fine though. They're keeping me under observation for a few more days, then I should be able to go home.”

“We'll have to switch your bedroom to the one downstairs,” JJ said. “That way you have everything on one level.”

Sheree bit her lip, and JJ raised an eyebrow.

“Okay, spit it out,” JJ said.

“Dean wants me to move in with him at your mom's guesthouse,” Sheree said.

JJ opened her mouth to respond, but when she saw how closely Sheree was watching her, she pressed her lips together. After a long moment, she spoke. “What do you think?”

Sheree sighed and put her head back. “I think he's caught up in the moment and wants to think he can be super dad. He doesn't realize how difficult things will be while I'm recovering.”

JJ let out a sigh. Thank God Sheree was thinking the same way she was. There was no way Dean would be able to take care of Sheree on his own. But he wouldn't understand if anyone other than Sheree told him that.

“I want to stay with you, with Sydney, even Lissandra,” Sheree said. “I like having all of you around all the time. I feel safer. You think your sisters will mind having a baby around?”

“Ha! I think they'll love it,” JJ said. “You should see the way they're staring at that poor fellow in the nursery. They are going to spoil him rotten.”

Sheree smiled. “What about you? Will you be around to spoil him rotten?”

JJ smiled. “As much as I can be.”

“That's what I like to hear!”

“Speaking of being around, where is that doctor of yours?” JJ asked. “I haven't seen him since he left the OR yesterday. And that was almost twenty-four hours ago.”

Sheree's smile faded. “He didn't tell you?”

JJ felt coldness slice through her. “Didn't tell me what?”

Sheree shifted uncomfortably. “That he is leaving. He passed my care on to Dr. Brighton. The baby is born and healthy, and I'm stable, so his work with me is mostly done. Whatever specialist care is still needed can be handled by Dr. Brighton.”

JJ stood up. “He's gone?”

“As far as I know,” Sheree said with concern. “Today was his last day. In fact, he came by to say good-bye right before you got here.”

JJ ran her fingers through her hair, shreds of panic ripping through her.

“He's gone. Again.” Her breathing was starting to disintegrate into short gasps. “I'm never going to see him again.”

“What are you talking about?” Sheree said. “You know where he lives. Didn't you say you went to his house? Just go talk to him. Fix this thing between the two of you.”

JJ shook her head. “No . . . you don't understand. He's leaving. He has a job in Malawi waiting for him . . .”

“Oh no,” Sheree said, her eyes widening

But JJ was already grabbing her purse and heading toward the door. “I gotta go.”

S
he rushed down the hallway toward the stairs, holding on tight to the railing as she flew down the steps. Thank goodness she was wearing running shoes, or she would have fallen on her face a hundred times over.

How could he just leave without saying good-bye? Was he that done with her? How could their feelings for each other just dry up like that?

They couldn't. She refused to believe they could. She had to talk to him. She wasn't going to let him walk away again without a fight. She just had to find him first.

Her memory was firing on all cylinders and she found her car without a problem, swinging it out of the hospital parking lot so fast she almost hit a black Lamborghini coming out from a side lot. She heard brakes screech and smelled burning tires, but felt no impact. Thank God. She did not need to add a car accident to this day.

The door to the luxury sports car flew open and the driver jumped out.

“Are you crazy? What the hell are you doing! This is a four-hundred-thousand-dollar car!”

JJ couldn't have been happier to see the angry face glaring at her windscreen.

“Nigel!”

She jumped out and raced over to him, grabbing him by the shoulders. “Where is he?”

“JJ?” Nigel echoed, confused. “What are you doing here? Where is who?”

“Simon!” she almost shouted. “Where is Simon?”

Nigel's face fell and his eyes filled with sympathy. “Oh, JJ. I'm sorry. He's going to—”

“Malawi,” JJ finished, nodding frantically. “I already know. But I need to know where he is right now, at this minute.”

Nigel ran a hand through his hair. “I don't know—his house? Maybe on the way to the airport . . .”

She perked up and her hands tightened around his arms. “He was going home first?”

Hope sprang into her heart.

“Maybe,” Nigel said. “I'm not sure. He just worked a twenty-hour shift with that delivery, so I assume he would go home, grab a shower or something before he left . . .”

“Thank you!” JJ said as she raced back to her car. “You know what time his flight is?”

Nigel shrugged. “Not sure. Just know it was an overnighter. He wanted to be out of here . . . uh . . . quick.”

JJ saw the embarrassment on Nigel's face as he realized exactly what he had let slip. But JJ didn't care. She released the parking break and began to maneuver around Nigel's car.

“He'll have to go through me first,” she threw back as she peeled out of the parking area.

Highways became her friend as she sped north on the Don Valley Parkway toward the 404 expressway. The DVP was a pain in the behind for anyone trying to get out of Toronto in a hurry. But since it was after seven p.m., she had managed to avoid the rush hour. Nonetheless, JJ felt like she wasn't moving fast enough. Every minute she was on the highway was another minute when Simon could be slipping out of her reach.

How could she have been so stupid? How could she not have seen it all along? She had everything she needed right here. The people who loved her, a city that would nurture her as she grew her career, and a man who was willing to put down roots for her. Yet she was willing to give that up for the chance at a fast life that would probably take more from her than it would give. It had taken seeing her nephew come into the world, seeing the miracle of creation, for her to realize it. There had been more meaning in that moment than there had been in her whole year. And she wanted more of those moments. But she wanted them with Simon.

It felt like forever, but she finally pulled into the driveway of Simon's Uxbridge home. Forgetting the keys in the ignition, she stumbled out of the car and breathed a sigh of relief at the sight of his Jeep in the open garage. She ran up the steps and banged on the front door.

No answer.

She knocked again, this time for longer and with more intensity.

The door flew open.

“Did you forget somethi . . . Oh. Hello.”

JJ stared into huge brown eyes that were not Simon's.

“Who are you?”

The woman at the door cocked her head to the side, the dark, spongy dreads in her high ponytail brushing her bare shoulders. Her full lips stretched wide, framing her cool coffee features into a smile that filled her whole face.

“You must be Judith,” she said. Carved wooden bangles jingled happily as she stretched out her slim, unmanicured hand to JJ. “I'm Rashida, Simon's cousin.”

JJ took the woman's hand absently. “How'd you know I was. . . never mind. Where is he? Where's Simon?”

The same look that she had seen on Nigel's face less than an hour earlier was replicated in Rashida's eyes.

“I'm sorry,” she said. “You just missed him. He came back, got his stuff, then left for the airport.”

JJ raked both hands through her hair as nausea crept through her. She had missed him. Probably passed him on the highway. Maybe even on the road into Uxbridge.

“I would call him, but he left his cell phone here,” Rashida said. “I won't hear from him until he lands early tomorrow morning. I'm sorry . . .”

So he was gone. Completely gone. Catching him at home had been her last-ditch effort, but it had proved fruitless. Finding him at the airport would be near impossible. She didn't even know his flight time or gate number. And even if she somehow figured it out, by the time she rushed across the city to Pearson International, he would have passed through check-in and into the restricted area of the airport where she would have no access to him.

It was time to accept the truth. It was over.

She thought she mumbled thanks before she trudged down the steps to her car, but she couldn't be sure. She was just so overwhelmed. She pulled the car out of the driveway under the sympathetic eye of Rashida and headed down the road, back toward the highway. But when she got to the end of Simon's road, she had to pull over, her eyes so blurred with tears that she couldn't see.

She was a mess. She knew that. But there was nothing she could do about it. She rested her head against the steering wheel, too weak to do anything else. She was so tired. Tired of being disappointed. Tired of realizing too late what was really important. Tired of chasing something that seemed constantly unreachable. If only she had wasted less time mired in the land of uncertainty. If only she had walked away from Franklin and Forbes, and Rayshawn, and Sound City, the first time she saw the flashing red lights of her heart, instead of waiting until everything was burning down around her.

“God, I'm sorry for waiting so long to come back to you,” she whispered. “Thank you for waiting for me anyway. I don't know what tomorrow will bring, but this time I'm going to wait for you to bring it to me.”

She put her head back against the seat and lifted her eyes to where a full moon filled the night sky. It was so clear and beautiful in the absence of all the smog and streetlights and distractions of the city. She could see why Simon loved it here. In a place like this she could meet God, have the quiet time with him that she needed to refresh her soul. She closed her eyes and let the rays of soft white light wash over her. The tears stopped. Her breathing leveled out. The queasiness in her stomach settled. It was going to be okay.

I
t took a few more minutes before she felt strong enough to start the ignition again and pull off the curb into the road. This time she made it to the highway. She considered going back to the hospital, but she knew she was still too fragile to deal with anyone else for the rest of the night. So when the exit for her home came in sight, she gladly took it. The one good thing about the night was that, with the excitement of Dominique's birth, everyone would be at the hospital and she would have the house to herself.

The night was cool and welcoming as she got out of her parked car, and so instead of going straight inside, she sat on the curb near the street. JJ smiled to herself. Jackie would have a fit if she saw her now. She hated when her girls sat on the ground outside. She would scold JJ, Sydney, and Lissandra from the front door when the three of them used to sit on the curb as teenagers and watch the boys from the block play street hockey during the summer. During those days, their only concern was escaping the wrath of their mother, and so they would be sure to sit a few feet away from the driveway, behind the rosebushes, so their mother couldn't see them from the front window.

Simon would love a story like that. He had had so few of those normal moments of childhood that he always loved hearing about all of hers. She closed her eyes. She could almost feel him next to her, catch the slight, fresh smell of citrus that she often enjoyed when she was around him. She sighed and opened her eyes. She had it bad.

“Bet your mom would have a fit if she saw you sitting on the ground like that.”

The sound of his voice doubled her heartbeat and set off a quiet symphony inside JJ that grew louder and louder with every stir of emotion. She trembled, hoping that her senses weren't playing some cruel trick on her. But she was too scared to turn around to check. If she was just imagining him there . . .

She felt the air shift next to her.

“Judith.”

Her name on his lips was the combination to open the lockbox of her emotions. She couldn't stop her body from turning toward him, her eyes from devouring every feature of his beautiful face, lit by the moonlight. The music grew louder.

“I thought you left.”

He reached over and with gentle fingers wiped a renegade tear from her cheek.

“I thought you left,” he echoed softly.

“I did,” JJ said, leaning into his hand. “I got all the way to Boston before I realized that it wasn't what I wanted.”

“And what do you want?” he asked, peering into her eyes with his soulful ones.

JJ closed her eyes for a moment, realizing suddenly what song she was hearing. It was her song, “I'm Yours.” The one that she had sung for millions but had never sung honestly until this moment.

“I want to be where God wants me to be,” she said, committing to the words anew as she sat on her curb with Simon. “I want to do what he wants me to do. I want to be his completely.”

It was so liberating to say those words out loud. She let out a breath that she felt like she had been holding forever. A breath that freed her to let go of her need to have a picture-perfect future; a breath that left her room to breathe in all the uncertainty and all the unimaginable possibilities God had in store for her.

“What about your career?” he asked with concern. “The tour extension, the new contract?”

JJ shrugged. “I signed Rayshawn's name instead of my own. If I'm going to be God's completely, I have to choose him first. And with the life that contract was offering me, I couldn't do that.”

He nodded. “I'm glad to hear that.”

She reached over and rested her hand on his arm. “Your turn.”

She watched his jaw flex as he wrestled with what to say.

“I got all the way to the airport. But I couldn't go.”

“No?”

“No.” He shook his head. “I wanted to. I really did.” He paused to look at her. “But there was something I wanted more.”

JJ smiled as the music in her heart began to swell. “What did you want more, Simon Massri?”

His eyes roamed over her face for what felt like forever.

“You.”

JJ felt like someone had taken ten-pound weights off her shoulders, allowing her to fly free. Simon Massri wanted her! He had changed his plans again, for her! This time there was no way that she would let him get away.

She threw her arms around his neck, holding him tightly to her.

“I'm sorry for walking away like that.” His voice was intense with remorse as he spoke the words near her ear. His hands touched her hesitantly, as if afraid, as if unworthy. “I should have stuck around. I never should have made you feel like you had to choose.”

“It's okay,” she whispered against his neck. “I get it. Believe me, I do. I'm just glad you came back. Thank you for waiting for me.”

JJ felt the rush of warm air as he let out a breath. His arms encircled her now, cocooning her in the warmth of his affection.

“I waited five years,” he murmured back. “What's a few more days?”

JJ pulled back to stare at him, amazed at how deep into her heart this man had crawled. She rested her forehead against his. “I am never letting you go, ever again.”

He grinned as his eyes fell to her mouth. “I'm going to hold you to that.”

And then he ended the conversation with his lips on hers. JJ surrendered herself to his kisses, deciding in that moment that Simon Massri was the last and only man she wanted to kiss for the rest of her life. He was the man she had been waiting for, the man God had been holding for her. The wait had been long and painful in some parts. She had stumbled into heartbreak and misery in her impatience. But God had not given up on her. Despite her wavering faithfulness, he had blessed her. And everything she had gone through, all the waiting she had done, was worth it for what—and who—was waiting at the end.

A horn blared and car lights illuminated the curb, where JJ sat with Simon's arms around her. With one last kiss, Simon reluctantly pulled away.

“I think we have company, angel.”

JJ looked up, instantly recognizing her sister's car, even before Lissandra's voice came loudly through the driver's window.

“So this is where you ran off to without even saying good-bye,” Lissandra teased. “To go make out with your boyfriend on the curb. If Mom saw you, she would light your ba'hind with licks!”

Simon turned to JJ, confusion all over his face. “What's licks?”

JJ laughed out loud before kissing him on the cheek. “Oh, honey, you are so cute when you're confused.”

He scratched his chin. “Sometimes I don't understand everything your sister says.”

“Sometimes neither do I,” JJ said, running her fingers over his smooth dreads. “But we got lots of time to try and figure it out.”

A slow smile spread his lips as he gently wrapped one of her curls around his finger. “Lots and lots of time.”

The touch of his hand jumpstarted her heart into a new rhythm. The music was back. But this time it was a different song. One she had never sung before. A duet. But her partner, the one God had picked for her, the one holding her in his arms at that moment, was exactly on pitch with her. And she could already tell that together, they would be hitting all the right notes.