Hell, Fire & Freedom (Fighting for Freedom) (13 page)

Beautiful spruce trees line the edges of the property, giving privacy in a place I never knew could offer such a treat. The house itself is incredible, not ostentatious in size or design, simply welcoming.

“You live here?” I ask in awe.

“Yeah, my dad and I started building it about ten years ago. I’m still not completely finished, but I’m really happy with how much we managed to get done together. I’ve got a lot of great memories here,” he says, looking around the property. “Now, come on in, so I can finish dinner for you.” He wraps his arms around me and helps me off of the bike.

We walk up to the house, and he unlocks the front door and once again I need a moment to take it all in. I walk into the grand entryway, which leads into an open concept living room with a floor to ceiling massive stone fireplace, and a kitchen not far behind. There is a loft straight ahead, looking over the living room and there’s dark, intricate wood in every direction.

“Well, what do you think?” he asks.

“I think you’re crazy for even asking. I’ve never seen a more beautiful house in my life. Not even in a magazine,” I say, spinning in a slow circle to get the full picture. He gives me a genuine smile.

“You have no idea how much that means to me.”

I take off my shoes and follow him into the kitchen, which boasts granite countertops, and an eat-in island, with wooden barstools, complete with plush seats.

He pulls a large pan out of the fridge. “I hope you like lasagna?”

“I’m actually not sure. I don’t know if I’ve ever had it,” I say awkwardly.

I cooked the ten meals Carl liked over and over for five years, and according to him, not very well. Marie and I have been trying out new recipes since moving, but we haven’t attempted lasagna yet.

“What? You don’t know what you’re missing. I made it up before I came to get you, so it just needs to bake for half an hour,” he says, slipping it into the oven.

“Can I get you a glass of wine?” he asks, pulling a bottle of red wine from the wine rack in the island.

“I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I’ve never had wine either. Well, any alcohol at all, really,” I say awkwardly. How many firsts am I going to have tonight, I wonder? How embarrassing.

“Wait a minute … how old are you?” he asks. I really don’t want to answer that. I hadn’t even thought about the age difference.

“I’ll be twenty-three next week,” I say uncomfortably. “What about you?”

“I’m twenty-seven,” he says, clearly calculating the age difference in his head. He seems satisfied with the answer as he uncorks the wine.

“Wow, so you started building this place at seventeen?” I ask, trying to change the subject.

“I did. I’d been helping Dad renovate our house since I was twelve, and this just seemed like the next step. His dad helped him build our home before he married my mom. I was kind of a ladies’ man when I was a kid, so my dad said we’d better start early,” he says, laughing at the memory.

“Now, that’s something I don’t have a hard time believing. I bet you were winking at the nurses moments after escaping the womb,” I joke.

He lets out a deep belly laugh, and it’s like music to my ears. He picks up the wine bottle again, and pulls two long stemmed wine glasses from out of his cupboard.

“So, did you want to try the wine? I’ve got water, milk, or orange juice if you’d rather something different. I live alone, and don’t have much company, so your choices are pretty limited,” he says sheepishly.

“Wine is fine. Just don’t make fun of me if I don’t like it, all right?”

“You got it,” he says, pouring it into two long stemmed wine glasses.

He passes me mine, and I take a look. It’s red, and looks a lot less like blood than I had anticipated. I swirl it around in the glass. It doesn’t look thick, just red. Kind of like juice, I guess. I inhale the scent of ripe plums and fresh earth. It smells divine. I take a little sip and swirl it around in my mouth, not quite sure what to expect, but the flavors explode in my mouth. I swallow, and a small moan escapes my lips.

“This is divine,” I say, before looking back up at Blaze. He’s gripping the island countertop so hard his knuckles are white.

“What’s wrong?” I ask quickly.

“Nothing at all. Trying to restrain myself. I think that was the absolute sexiest thing I have ever seen,” he says, and I blush deeply. I turn and walk toward the living room, hoping he doesn’t notice how embarrassed I am.

“Oh no, you do not get to walk away after that,” he says, grabbing my hand and pulling me back to him.

He plants his lips on mine, eager, demanding. I run my tongue along the edges of his lips, and he grants me entrance. I explore his mouth with eagerness, wondering how kissing could be so sensual. His strong hands reach down under my ass, and I wrap my legs around him again. I love that he makes me feel so light. He walks us over to the couch, his lips trailing down my neck, my collarbone, and finally between my breasts.

I feel his hardness press into me, but I’m not scared. The only thing I feel is a strong need to have him all over me, inside of me, touching me. I couldn’t stop myself if I tried. He frees a breast from my bra and places his mouth over it eagerly, his tongue alternating between sucking and nibbling. I let out a soft cry, pushing myself into him, wanting more, and needing more than he’s giving me.

I let my hands trail up under his shirt, feeling the hard lines of muscle of his abdomen and then moving to feel those in his back, as well. His mouth is back on mine, and he moves to lay me back on the couch. He is hovering over me, and we are belly to belly, and I realize I’ve never had sex like this. I have to stop this; I’m going to be terrible. I pull away from his lips, panic setting in.

“I’ve never really …” I trail off because he has now pushed up my shirt, and his lips are on my bare abdomen.

His tongue trails along the edge of my leggings, and I let out a desperate, “Please.” I leave behind any inhibitions I have, and start enjoying every touch, every kiss, and every lick.

In one swift movement, I’m divested of everything below the waist.

“You are incredible, Brynn, beautiful …” he trails off as he moves down to scatter kisses along my thighs.

I tense up, a little nervous. I’ve never had a man’s face down there before—never even wanted one. I want anything Blaze has to offer, though, and I pray that I’m good enough for him. I don’t want him to see the damage. He moves up, his hot breath over my core, making me tingle in anticipation.

“Let me make you feel good, Brynn,” he says, bringing his head back down, taking gentle licks.

It’s driving me crazy, and I push myself into his face a little, hoping he’ll take the hint that I want him, because I’m not sure I can speak the words out loud.

He starts licking and sucking, flicking his tongue against my clit, and I gasp with pleasure, letting a moan escape my lips.

“Fuck, Brynn, you taste good,” he says as breathy as I feel.

He puts his mouth back to my core, and I feel him slip a gentle finger inside me. I feel something start to build inside me and throw my head back, letting the feeling start to take over.

God, Carl never made me feel like … My body tenses at the thought. Blaze must feel it, too, because he pulls back.

“Let go, Brynn. Whatever it is, let go. It’s just you and me, and I’m going to make sure you know just how beautiful you are. Let me take care of you,” he says soothingly.

I look into his gentle eyes—hungry with passion—and I know he would never hurt me. I lay my head back down and lift myself to him, hoping that’s enough. He descends on my body again, sucking and flicking his tongue. He slips two fingers inside me this time, and I hear him moan.

“You’re so tight, beautiful, fucking perfect.”

I feel it start to build inside me again, and I let the sensation of his every touch start to take over. I run my fingers through his soft hair, as he begins moving faster and faster, my body rushing over the edge. I climax for the first time in my life. I let the feeling wash over me as he helps me ride the waves, until my body stops pulsing.

I lay panting, feeling relaxed, complete, while his head rests on my stomach.

He lifts his head and looks into my eyes. “That was even better than I imagined it would be, and I’ve been dreaming of it since the moment I met you.” He places three gentle kisses near my navel, and sits up, reaching for my panties. He pulls them over my legs and then does the same with my leggings, dressing me in a most soothing way.

“Thank you, I just … can’t even put that into words,” I manage to say as my breathing returns to normal.

I’m feeling a little embarrassed now. I can still see him straining against his pants, and I want to return the favor. I just have no idea how, and after that, there’s no way I could ever compare to what he just made me feel. He clearly has experience, whereas I have none. God, how many women has he been with? I push the jealousy aside; I have no room to judge anyone. If he knew what happened to me, there’s no way he would ever touch me again.

The alarm for the oven goes off, signaling dinner is ready. Saved by the bell.

“Perfect timing. Dessert and now dinner,” he says with a wink.

He helps me off the couch, leading me by the hand into the dining room just off the kitchen. My legs are still shaky, and I’m reminded of a baby deer attempting to walk for the first time. The dining room is filled with floor to ceiling windows, and a long wooden table with eight chairs running the length of it. The view is spectacular: all luscious green, leafy trees.

“Do you need any help?” I ask.

“No, please. Just keep enjoying your wine,” he says, placing the wine glass in front of me, with a smirk.

I give him a little smile, remembering that the wine was what just led to that mind blowing event on the couch. He moves into the kitchen and finishes up supper, serving me a delicious looking plate of cheesy lasagna and garlic bread when he returns.

“This looks great,” I say, grabbing my fork, eager to dig in.

“We cook a lot at the fire station, and we all take turns. If you can’t cook well, you’ve got a lot of pissed off men not looking forward to working with you,” he says, laughing. “Luckily, they all love my lasagna. I figured it was my best shot tonight.”

“Well, I’m glad I get to reap the benefits,” I say with a smile.

We eat dinner quietly, and I enjoy the first time a man has ever cooked for me. The lasagna is incredible, and I tell him so. It’s a quarter to eight by the time we finish so we settle onto the couch after he promises me he needs no help with the dishes.

“I’m really glad you came out tonight. I’m sorry for scaring you off at the pool. It wasn’t fair to put you on the spot like that,” he says. I look up into his eyes, and I can see the hurt my lies are causing him. I make a decision I’m sure I’m going to regret, but I need to know before I put any more time into this that he’s not going to leave when he learns the truth. I knot my hands together and watch my fingers as they twist nervously.

“I married when I was seventeen. It didn’t take long before the abuse started. I took it all until a few months ago. Marie and I made a run for it, and we came to New York because it was on the opposite side of the country. I wanted to set a good example for her and do everything possible to make sure she was safe, so I pressed charges, filed for divorce, and we changed our names.” I look over at Blaze, and to my surprise, his face is full of anger. I jump up from the couch and move away from him quickly.

“Shit, Brynn, I’m sorry. I’m not mad at you, I swear, and you have to know I would never, ever lay a hand on you in anger. Any time I touch you, it’s because I want it to feel good. I want you to feel the way you make me feel just by looking at you,” he says, coming over to me and holding my hand. “I’m angry at the thought that some piece of shit terrified you and hurt you for so long. I’m trying to convince myself that if I went to jail for murder, I’d never be able to see you again, and that’s just not worth it to me. But Brynn, I’m a man, a real man, and I want to hurt him for what he’s done to you. I want him to know what a coward he is.”

“It’s okay, Blaze, really. I’m fine. My divorce is final, he’s being brought up on charges, and he can’t leave the state. Marie and I are safe now, and that’s all that matters,” I tell him.

“It’s not all that matters, beautiful. It’s just not. What did that bastard do to you?”

He’s getting really upset and emotional, and I’m starting to get a little scared. On the flip side of the coin, he keeps calling me beautiful, and every time he does, my heart skips a beat. My mind’s being pulled in two different directions, and I can’t trust myself to make the right decisions right now.

“I really should be getting back. Marie will be home soon.”

“I’m sorry, Brynn. I really am. I swear I’m not angry with you. I just … I guess I’m not processing this very well, am I? You are perfection to me, in every sense of the word. You deserve to be cherished, and loved, not beaten and broken. You never have to worry about that with me,” he promises.

“Why me, Blaze? Why me, though? You could have any girl you wanted, so why are you fighting so hard for the damaged goods? I really like you, but I just feel like this is going to be too much for you. Hell, sometimes it’s too much for me. I don’t want to push you away, but I don’t want to lie to you either. I’m broken. I can’t even believe I let you do what you did to me today, but I know you’re never going to want to again. Can’t you see, he poisoned me, inside and out?”

He remains horrified, so I continue, “I’ve had over a dozen broken bones in the last five years. Maybe more, but I’ve never been allowed to see a doctor for them, so really it was just a guessing game based on how much pain I was in compared to previous beatings. Before then, though? I wasn’t anything special either. I grew up in a trailer park with an alcoholic mother where I raised my sister on my own. The only love I’ve ever known has been from her. You grew up in a family with a mother and a father who loved you. You never had to worry about your next meal, or how you were going to afford to keep the heat on in the winter. We come from two separate worlds, Blaze. Did it suck for me? Yes. But I’m here now, I have Marie back now, and we are both doing well.