Forced Out of the Darkness (16 page)

“Thank you for the
compliment. I am glad to see you as well, I had to take some time to think
about what this is and where this is going and if I can deal with the secretive
and sneaky ways you have.”

Monti sat down across
from Cameron.

“Cameron, like I said
baby, I am so sorry. I am still getting to know you and I really have to just
put my issues on the back burner and just take this a day at a time. I really want
you in my life and I just can’t lose you right now.”

“Wow.” Cameron thought.
“Had he heard right? Did Monti just call him Baby?”

“I know that there will
be times when I have to step back and check myself.” Monti continued. “I am willing
to do that and try to make you the happiest man in the Detroit area. I am so
much better with you than the days that I did not have you in my life. Cameron,
I just want you to forgive me and let’s get back on the same sheet of music and
do what it takes to make this work.” Monti said as a tear came to Monti’s eyes.

“Is there something I
can get yous both to drink? I see you have coffee creamer so would you be
having coffee?” the server asked. The server had a Midwest twain in her speech.

“Yes, that will be
fine.” Cameron said.

“Same for me too.” Monti
added.

“No, problem. I’ll be
right back.” The server responded as she smiled.

“Alright, where were
we? Oh yes, Monti, before we do all that, thank you for your candid
acknowledgement of the situation. But Monti, that is the problem. You keep
putting the things that you need to address on the back burner to try to work
on keeping a relationship. You can’t be good for you, if you keep ignoring the
rest of the problems. You can’t be good for me by ignoring them either.”

“You have a good point.
I have to agree with you on that point.”

“I have never given you
reason not to believe me. I have been honest with you where I stand in this
situation and in my level of commitment. I want a partner in life because there
is so much going on out there. I want to be in love. I just want….no…need to
know what you are going to do to not have a repeat of yesterday.”

“I am going to work on
my insecurities and make sure that we talk about things. I do not want to have
these nightmares about you cheating on me. When we are together, I am the
happiest. I am secure and strong when we are together. When we are apart I am
not the same. I recognize that I need you in my life. I just hope that you see
that and that you need or want me in yours. You have the world going for you
and you have the world at your fingertips, I am just a guy from a small town
outside of Detroit who wants more in life than what I have now and I am willing
to work for it. Can you allow me to earn your forgiveness and your trust?”

“Monti, I have had a
great time with you during the times we have spent together. Yesterday seemed
to be a departure from our normal and I am hoping that this was just an
isolated incident and that there will be no repeats.”

“I am going to work
very hard to make this up to you. I have to work on some things in my life but
I know that you could help me through it. I vow to give you all of my time
energy and effort if you would let me.”

“Alright, Monti. I am
willing to give this another try. I will be honest with you…I was not going to
do this but you seem to be willing to do the work that is ahead of you. I am
not perfect by any stretch of the imagination but I am willing to do my own work,
as well.”

“Ok, here you gentlemen
are one coffee for you and a second for you. Were you ready to place your
order?” The server asked interrupting the conversation.

“No, I am not ready
yet. Can you give me a few more moments?” Monti asked.

“Sure not a problem just
wave at me when you are ready.” she said as she walked away.

“I can’t say how sorry
I am for what I did. In my last few relationships, I had to do stuff to find
out what was going on. My exes would keep stuff going on and I was stuck in the
end looking like a fool because I trusted them and should have known better.”

“Monti, you cannot hold
me captive with the things that others did to you. Your past is your past and
what helped form you to the person you are today but there comes a time where
you are going to have to check your baggage. It is not fair to me and this
relationship that you bring this stuff to it.”

“I can’t argue with you
on that one. You are right.”

“I know so many people
that live in the pain and hurt of past relationships and have allowed those
hurts to destroy their present and future relationships. Broken people will
only allow the brokenness to cause destruction to everything around them. These
people leave a trail of destruction behind them and they don’t realize that
they are doing this. I hope that you seriously consider what I am telling you. I
had to do my work and get rid of my baggage so that I was ready and prepared
for a relationship. I felt that you had some issues that were not adequately
addressed. That is why I have some apprehensions about being in a monogamous relationship
with you. I hope that you will address them swiftly so we don’t become
casualties of that brokenness.”

Monti waved at the
server and she came back. They both ordered their breakfast and continued their
conversation. As the food was brought to the table, Monti said grace for the
table.

“Monti, you said you
are going to be monogamous, is that still your intention?”

“Yes, I have been
monogamous since we first met.” Monti lied.

“I will consider that
we are in a committed relationship. If something changes with this
commitment…let me know and we can address the situation there. Ok?”

“Sure.”

“Monti, tell me what
your definition of cheating is?”

“Cheating is doing
something with someone other than your partner that you would not do with your
partner sitting there.”

“It is not always just
sex?”

“No, it can be having
inappropriate conversations on the phone and all that too.”

“You have some
restrictive definitions of cheating. Make sure you are not doing that stuff too.
What about taking people’s phone numbers?”

“Hell yeah, that is
cheating. Why the hell would you want another dude’s number when you are in a
relationship?”

“I am not saying that I
want someone else’s number. I am just asking so that I can get a full and
complete understanding.”

“That is cool. I can’t
tell you how good this feels.”

“I just want to move
from this and enjoy the rest of this relationship.”

“I picture us growing
old together. Sitting in rocking chairs on the porch together.” Monti said
excitedly.

“That is a good picture.
I can only imagine.”

They both finished
their breakfast. They paid their server and both left the restaurant. In the
parking lot, Cameron asked Monti what his plan was for the evening. Monti said
he had rehearsal at church. Cameron only planned to go shopping at the outlet
mall in Howell, Michigan. Monti suggested that after Cameron got done shopping
that he call Monti. Monti wanted to spend the night with Cameron and so he told
Cameron to come over later even if he was still in rehearsal. Cameron agreed,
so they hugged each other and got in their respective vehicles and left for the
day with promise that they would see each other later that night.

Cameron had heard the
same lines from Monti previously and had forgiven him before. He was thinking
with his heart rather than his head. The sex the two shared was great but a
relationship was based on more than just sex. Cameron did not realize that when
sex was the foundation of a relationship, it was destined to falter and
crumble.

Cameron went home to
put his flowers in water. He knew that they would be good for at least a week. Before
he left, Cameron pulled out his laptop. He signed into his A4A account and
deleted his profile. He went to check his email and found out that the
application he put in for a new job in finance was received and that they
wanted to set up time for an interview. Cameron took the number from the email
and put it in his wallet. He had an hour of driving before him so what better
way to kill two birds with one stone. Cameron left out the house with a sense
of accomplishment. He was cultivating a new relationship and had an interview. If
he could get an interview, Cameron knew he could land the job.

*  
*   *   *   *

Monti headed to his
place with a feeling that he won. Monti had very competitive ways and he was
not going to lose because he could not control his insecure impulses. This was
an internal battle between Monti and his demons. Monti did not know that when
his phone rang, his demons would put Monti to a test not even twenty minutes
from leaving Cameron. Monti was driving back home when his phone rang.

“Hello?”

“Hey Darryl. How are
you doing?”

“I am good. Who is
this?” Answering to another pseudonym.

“This is Allen. You
know we exchanged contact information yesterday morning on A4A. My name online
is ‘
Rockurworld
’.”

“Oh yeah, hey man. What
is up with you?”

“I wondered what was up
with you. When you gonna let me rock your world?”

Monti thought about it.
He knew that Cameron was going to be gone most of the day. The day was fresh
and Monti needed to get a release because the stress of the incident yesterday.
He knew he just made peace with Cameron but he could not fight the urge to show
this guy that he could not rock everyone’s world. “When you wanna rock this?”
Monti said before he knew what he was saying.

“Shit, I am free now. I
live in Southfield. Where are you?”

“I am just headed home
from out by Metro airport. I had to drop one of my partners off at the
airport.”

“Cool. I will text you
my address. You should be here in about half an hour from where you are now. Is
that cool?”

“You got it man…just
make sure you are ready for me.”

“Aiight, man. I got
this. You just be able to back up all the shit you was talking ‘bout
yesterday.”

Monti headed up the
Southfield freeway to Allen’s place, where he rocked Allen’s world. Allen was
speechless when Monti was done with him. Monti knew that he was the man and
this was just another notch in his belt. Allen was another conquest that Monti
conquered. However, immediately after his escapade, Monti knew that he had
messed up again as he felt the weight of what he had just done. He knew that he
had to get it together and address all the lies. If he messed up to the point
of Cameron finding out, Monti knew that the man that he was falling in love
with would walk out of his life for good. Monti knew he was going to have to
keep his extracurricular activities on the down low until he was able to
conquer his internal tormentors for good.

*  
*   *   *   *

Cameron was driving up
towards the outlet mall when he called to set up the interview.

“Hello, may I speak to
Mr. Welsh?” Cameron asked.

“May I tell him who is
calling?” responded a professional sounding lady.

“This is Cameron
McNeil. I am calling him regarding an email he sent me about a job interview.”

“Sure, just one
moment.”

Cameron was excited
about this new possibility. He loved his job because it allowed him to see the
world. Cameron did not have to worry about seeing his boss on a daily basis and
he did not have to work with the same people every trip but he wanted more for
his life. Cameron was always trying to improve his life; he needed continual
progression in his career. As a flight attendant, Cameron was stuck with no
upward mobility. Sure he could have become a flight attendant manager but the turnover
in that position was considerably high. Cameron had five different managers in
the span of ten years. He felt that ten years was a good enough time to make a
change. The money was good but there was little room for Cameron to make more
money.

“Hi, Mr. McNeil, this
is Jack Welsh. Thank you for responding to my email.”

“Thank you, Mr. Welsh,
for considering my application.”

“Our recruitment
department reviewed your application and sent it over to my office for
consideration for our Senior Branch Account Executive position. I like your
experience in customer service and would like to see if I can bring you in for
an interview. Is this something that you are still interested in pursuing?”

“Of course. I
appreciate you taking the time to consider me for such a position.”

“Great. I am looking at
my calendar and I have next Tuesday available at 1:00 pm. Is that date good for
you?”

“Sure that is about two
weeks away. That would be perfect.”

“Great. I am looking
forward to seeing you then. Have a great day and you take care.”

“Thank you Mr. Welsh. You
do the same.”

     Cameron could not help but to smile. He felt that this was going
to be a good change of pace for him. He wanted to tell someone the good news
about the interview but did not want to jinx the successful outcome of the new
job perspective. Cameron just looked to the heavens and thanked God for the job
in advance.