Equity (Balance Sheet #3) (6 page)

The scenery had been of rolling green hills and views worthy of a canvass. When we pulled up to a moderate sized cottage, I found myself in love with how homey it looked. It was certainly fancier than the house that I grew up in. But it wasn’t ostentatious. I was shocked we hadn’t ended up at a hotel.

This had to be Kalen’s home. It stood to reason he had a place here. A part of me might have been excited to see a space he lived in as I’d yet to see his New York apartment. However, the circumstances weren’t what they’d been.

I’d done my best to ignore Kalen as he had me. It hadn’t helped being surrounded by the buttery soft leather seats, glossy wooden panels and the matching shiny flight attendant who had all but thrown herself at him. And he’d done nothing to stop her advances. At one point, I thought I might have to change seats for fear she might have given him a lap dance.

The door to his house opened. I caught a quick glance at a young woman who looked around my age before she darted out of the house. Following the blur of her form, her brown hair flowed behind her as it caught in the wind while she made a beeline for Kalen. Through the rearview mirror, I saw her launch herself into his arms. At first, I thought sister. Had he mentioned a sister before?

Then her legs wrapped around his waist and her lips were on his in a not-so-sisterly kiss. Great, he has a girlfriend back home. She apparently lives with him. Why the hell had he invited me here? Was it to give me a dose of my own medicine? And how long had he had this girl? This didn’t look like a new relationship. Had he been with her when he was telling me he loved me?

Steam was gathering between my ears as a righteous indignation grew inside me. I stayed in the car, thinking over my options. I’d laid his credit card on his tray next to his dinner on the plane. He hadn’t said anything to me. He just took it and put it in his wallet. It might be worth it to just use my own card. I really couldn’t be that important to anyone. My testimony wasn’t that important to this case. I pulled my phone out of my bag and stared at it dismayed. No service. I had no choice but to enter this house, if nothing else but to call a cab.

When I looked up, there was another woman in the doorway. This one showed timeless beauty in a regal way. She looked at Kalen with what could only be taken as motherly love. I took in her face as I sat. He shared some of her features, like the curve of her mouth, the structure of her cheekbone and her green eyes. Although her hair was a mix of grey, he’d gotten his dark hair from her.

Then she turned her gaze to me. Instantly, I felt welcome. She waved me out of the car, and it would have been rude to refuse her. Just because her son was an ass, didn’t mean she was one too. I opened the door and she met me halfway.

“So you’re Bailey. I’ve heard so much about you.” She took me in her arms and squeezed before leaning back while still holding my shoulders to look at me. “You are as beautiful as he said.”

I could only hold a smile to my face, unable to come up with a response. He’d talked about me to his mother.

“Speak lass, my son brings home a girl for the first time and I’m aching to hear your lovely voice.”

The only think I could think to say was, “What about her?”

“Keely,” she said glancing in the direction where muted conversation was going on.

I nodded.

“Oh, Keely has been in love with Kalen since she was a little girl. But he’s only ever seen her like a sister,” she said while steering me into the house.

We stepped inside with a staircase to greet us. To the right was a small kitchen with an L shaped counter and the basic appliances that didn’t look too fancy. To the left was a living room of sorts that held delicate looking furniture that appeared as though it would succumb under Kalen’s weight, and he wasn’t an overly large man, at least not in girth. This made me wonder if this was in fact his house. Before I could think about it any longer, his mother steered me into the kitchen.

“Tea?” she asked.

My stomach was in knots, but I couldn’t refuse.

“Sure.”

She busied herself getting water in a kettle while she spoke. “My son has never talked to me about a girl before even though I know he’s had plenty. When he called to tell me about you, I was so excited. I’m getting pretty old and wondered if I’d ever have grandchildren.”

At that moment, I was grateful I hadn’t had a drink. I would have choked.

She turned to look at me. “And here you are. My son’s girlfriend.”

“We’re not together,” a voice said behind me.

I turned to see Kalen with his arm slung around Keely. She was gorgeous. Big blue eyes set in a heart shaped face. She was on the short side, but her curves made up for lack of leg.

“We’re headed to the pond. You wouldn’t mind showing Bailey the guest room, would you?”

When I faced his mother again, she clutched at something around her neck. Her face held a perplexed look as she nodded. I heard the door close again. When her eyes met mine, I felt embarrassed. Here she’d gone on about something I wasn’t. And for a second there, I’d soaked it in, forgetting our current circumstances.

“Oh,” she said shifting uncomfortably. The whistle of the kettle blew, giving us both a moment to compose ourselves. “I’m sorry. I just assumed you were the Bailey he spoke of.”

I didn’t want her to feel bad, so I interjected. “I might have been, but things have changed.”

“Oh,” she said again, pouring hot water into tea cups. “I’m sure you’ll work it out.”

“It’s doubtful,” I said honestly. “Anyway, this is a lovely home.” I wanted to change the subject desperately. And I was curious whose house this was.

“Yes, I love it. Kalen had it built for me.” That answered one question.

We talked over tea about how Kalen wanted to build her a huge house and compromised. She explained that it was just her and she had no need of a mansion. It would only serve to remind her that he no longer lived at home. She was good-natured and I could tell she loved her son more than anything.

Eventually, she showed me around the house. There was a family room, dining room and bedroom that finished up the first floor. On the second floor, there were four other bedrooms and a bath. Although one of the bedrooms did have an en suite. She gave me the room across the hall from the bath that had sweeping views of the back of the house.

The room was furnished sparsely with a full bed covered in what looked like a handmade quilt anchored by a wrought iron headboard. There was a round table that sat next to it that held a lamp. A small dresser sat against the wall across from the door. It wasn’t much, but it felt cozy.

It was late and there wasn’t another house that I’d seen for at least a mile. So all the sounds outside were of the birds and other insects preparing for the night.

When I opened the window to let in some fresh air, I heard laughter on the breeze. My gut clenched. Why was I so jealous? He wasn’t mine and besides, his mother said he only saw the pretty Keely as a sister.

I took a quick bath and tucked myself in with the knowledge that Turner should be here by tomorrow night.

Keely handed me a flask and I took it. I uncapped it and downed the contents in one smooth motion. She proffered another flask and drank from it. We sat on the incline of the bank in front of the small lagoon and watched the stars. I allowed the warmth of the liquor to envelope me as I thought about why I was here with Keely and not Bailey.

In our native tongue, Keely said, “So who is she?”

What was Bailey to me besides the blade wedged in my bleeding heart? I couldn’t tell Keely that. She’d scowl and never really understand.

“Just a lassie,” I answered, enjoying being able to speak in the tongue I grew up in.

A
hmph
sound came from behind me, which I expected. I wasn’t blind about Keely’s affections towards me. I just never returned them. She was a beautiful girl. But girl is how I’d always seen her. Tonight, the warm air, the stars and a combination of alcohol, I took a second look.

She jumped to her feet. “It’s warm out,” she said before beginning to peel off her clothes. I could have stopped it, but I didn’t. The culmination of all the alcohol on the plane, downing most of the contents of the flask and my bloody heart made me rethink what was wrong with bedding Keely. Once she was down to bra and panties, she stood in front of me as if on display. I allowed my sluggish brain to take her in. Her mass of dark curls spilled over her shoulders contrasting darkly against the milky white of her skin.

“I’m not a little girl anymore, JK.” She turned, giving me an unimpeded view of her backside. What I saw was all rounded curves with no sharp angles. She was a wee bit on the shorter side and a trifle thicker than Bailey. Shite, why was I thinking about Bailey?

Keely stood in the water up to her waist and my vision blurred. Suddenly it was Bailey in the water. She was somewhat taller and leaner. Her full breasts stood out more against her trim body. Her red hair looked like it was fire in the moonlight.

“Come in with me, JK,” Keely called out, breaking the spell. JK, Jeremy Kalen. That’s what Keely always called me. She was not Bailey as my fantasy shattered.

“Now, why would I do that?” I shouted back, letting the pleasant buzz cause a slip of a laugh to follow my words.

“Because,” she taunted. Her arms went behind her back and within seconds her bra was falling down her arms. She swiftly took it off and flung it towards the bank and me. “Let me show you what a woman I am, if you’re not afraid.”

As a boy, having been teased early on, I was one not to ignore a taunt or dare. “That’s not a good idea. I don’t think you’ve had a man such as me.” I added a wolfish grin for effect. Last I heard, Keely was still a virgin and I had no desire to be her first. Even as tempted as I was by her swaying breasts and willingness, I couldn’t offer her more than one night. And Keely deserved more than that.

A took another swig of the flask, liking the burn that accompanied the warmth.

“I think you’re afraid you’ll fall madly in love with me. And we both know you’ve been running from love all your life,” she blustered.

She didn’t know my tormentor of that very four-letter word lay in my mother’s house in a bed I should be sharing with her. She had no idea that I’d tried love, which felt like the worst of the four-letter American words. And I failed. There was no love in my future ever again.

“And I know I can’t love you the way you should be loved.” There, I’d said it. A frown curved her mouth in the most unflattering way. I didn’t want to hurt her. She was a close friend and I had to be honest with her.

“Then show me the pleasures of one night. I want you to be my first. You owe me that.”

The sounds of laugher filled my room and continued to spill in from the open window. Before I could think I was off the bed and staring out into the night. Light from the full moon rained over two barely dressed bodies. One I would forever recognize.

Kalen’s mom had been wrong. He most definitely didn’t see Keely like a sister. His arm was around her possessively as she leaned into him. Her words were slurred and that’s all I got because they weren’t speaking English.

Her buttoned shirt was undone and opened, giving me a partial view of her chest and all the assets she had to offer him. He looked at her with something akin to love and I felt shattered. I stumbled back as if I’d been pushed. And the weight of all my decisions pressed down on me. I found myself on the bed clutching at my chest. Oxygen was in short supply and I couldn’t find my breath.

I heard a door open below and the laughter got louder as it found its way to the steps, drawing ever closer each minute. I slumped to the floor, wedged between the bed and the wall. Anyone who opened the door wouldn’t see me.

Warm wetness streamed down my face in a silent stream. Salty bits met my lips and worked their way in. What had I done? I loved Turner, I knew this. But I never felt this hurt, not even when I left him to go to college. I never felt this turmoil, even when I knew he was hurting. No, I didn’t want Turner upset and broken by me. But I’d never been broken by him.

Kalen, however, had the power to destroy me. My life felt at an end seeing him with someone else. Shouldn’t I be happy that he’s happy? That’s what they say about love. And that’s bullshit. I wanted to claw the girl’s eyes out and slap him until he saw reason. Instead, I sat on the bare floor, shamed by my own actions. I wanted more than anything to leave this place and be far from the pain that was a living human being.

“In you go,” I said, moving with Keely to the bed.

“I’ve always wanted to sleep in your bed,” she said boisterously. She was far past drunk. She’d been working her way there before I’d shown up. “We can sleep together as always.”

Her words contradicted each other, showing her lack of mental power. Keely had slept in my bed numerous times. However, she’s always ended up there after we’d gone to bed separately. In the morning, her excuse had always been that she was afraid. And tortured by my part in her fear, I allowed her to sleep with me, wrapping her in my arms to fight off her demons.

Once she was on the bed in a drunken heap, I pulled the covers over her. I left the room and stopped to glance to my left. Bailey was there. I knew by how my mother decorated the rooms which one she would put Bailey in. Plus, it was closest to the bath she would end up using. My feet moved silently towards her door. I wasn’t sure what I was going to do. My hand made contact first. My palm lay flat on the wood as if I could read her thoughts that way.

There was silence on the other side. I was reminded all those times I’d come to her apartment. After Lizzy or Matt let me in, I’d pressed my palm to the door like this before I opened it. She’d been waiting for me then. In the silence, I knew she waited for Turner.

It killed me not to enter and touch her the way I knew she liked. Taste her in the way that made me want more every time. Feel her as I slid inside her tight depths.