“It’s called sweet pea, and I got it for my sweet pea,” he said smiling.
I looked up and hugged his neck tight. “Thank you, Papa. This is the best gift in the world.”
Mama smiled and placed her hand over her heart. “Alright, you two. Come on and let’s get this hog ready for cooking before I start crying.”
I remembered that moment in time with my Papa as I went to school the next day. The small flower was tucked away in my room by an open window. I stared out the window of the bus as we rode from my street to the school. The further we went into town, the nicer the houses and yards looked.
I could hear the girls in the front of the bus singing ‘Rock-in Robin’ loudly and I hummed along. A few teenage girls were walking with their books along the side walk and I took note of their skirts and hair. They were so beautiful.
The girl on the right had the perfect flip in her hair and the reddest lips I had ever seen. Her skin was tanned and the light blue dress she wore made her practically glow. The middle girl wore a pony tail and her curls bounced against her cream skin as she walked. The pink ribbon wrapped in her hair matched the pink skirt and jacket wrapped around her small frame. She had a smile that made your mouth tilt up to match hers. The girl on the left wore her hair in a twist and I wondered how many pins she had to put in to keep her hair that way. She had smooth skin the color of mocha and a soft green dress.
The girls were all laughing as we passed them by and I briefly wondered what they were talking about. They looked so happy. I looked down at my tan colored dress and sighed. I couldn’t wait to grow up and be like those girls.
My day passed by fairly quickly and the bus ride home went by too fast. Mama was picking veggies from our garden to prepare for supper and Papa was still at work.
“Hello Mama,” I said as I walked around the house to the garden. She was pulling carrots out of the ground and placing them in the basket beside her.
“Hello Jodie. How was school today?” she asked while continuing her chore.
“Same as always, Mama.” I looked into the basket and noticed there were quite a bit of vegetables in it. “Are we jarring today?”
“No dear. Your uncle Beaux is coming in tonight. I have to make enough for all of us to eat properly,” she said as she grabbed her basket.
My stomach dropped to my toes. This was not good news for me at all. Tears sprung in my eyes and my arms wrapped around my body for protection. Mama kissed my hair and walked inside our house, not noticing my reaction.
“Come, Jodie. We have to prepare for supper,” she called over her shoulder.
I walked in and began washing the vegetables in the sink, the whole time thinking of ways to get out of the house. When I finished, Mama chopped them up and made soup. I helped make bread and went to the bathroom to wash up.
I heard boots and loud voices in the other room through the walls. My trembling hands turned off the water and I sat on the floor with my back against the tub. Papa was laughing at something and I heard him call me. I stood up and took a couple deep breaths, steeling myself.
“Yes Papa?” I called through the door.
“Come on in here and say hello to your uncle once you’re done washing up,” he replied.
“Yes sir.”
I swiped at the tears falling down my face.
Breathe, Jojo.
I took a deep breath and stepped out of the bathroom. Our small hallway held three doors. One opened to the bathroom behind me that I was bracing myself against. The door to my left was my room. I had a twin bed set in the corner with my favorite doll sitting in the middle of my pillow. Soft, pink covers went well with the light cream dresser across the room and the small writing table placed by the window. The beautiful sweet pea flower rested on my writing desk and I longed to fly away like the butterfly it took its looks from.
To my right was the doorway that leads to our guest room. It was my chore to clean it out occasionally and set the mattress outside to air. I closed my eyes as memories of being called into that room late at night swam in my mind.
I was bigger now. I would scream at the top of my lungs before I set foot in that room with him again. I crept into the living room and Papa scooped me up in a big hug. I closed my eyes and savored his warmth and love.
“My big girl. Mama told me you helped with supper,” he whispered in my ear.
I nodded and he set me back on my feet. I tried not to look into the dark eyes of the man I hated sitting across the room. I felt his gaze on me like a thick coat weighing me down. Footsteps resounded through the room and his stench of alcohol and tobacco threatened to suffocate me.
“My favorite young lady,” he said as he came up behind me. “Are you gonna give your uncle a hug?”
I sucked in my quivering lip and turned around to face him. His arms came around my waist and squeezed me tight. It took everything I had in me to not push him away. His threats of punishment if I told someone were instilled in my mind. I was petrified of what would happen if I told someone about him.
“Supper is ready,” Mama said from the kitchen. His arms slowly let me go and I ran to the safety of the table.
I ate in silence as they all talked about Uncle Beaux’s latest adventures. He told stories of fishing in the Gulf of Mexico and partying in Mississippi. Papa loved hearing him talk and Mama always asked about the fashions in the large cities he visited.
I excused myself from the table and went out to the stalls behind our house. Brushing the horses calmed me and they seemed to love it as well. I picked up the brushes and went to Mercy’s stall. Mercy is of Marsh Tacky breed and about eleven hands. I walked in beside her and ran my hand over her strong neck. She dipped her head at me and I began stroking the brush along her beautiful sandy brown hide.
I talked to Mercy and she would dip her head like she understood me while brushing her down. When I finished I gave her a big hug and walked to the next stall. Ruth was just as tall as Mercy, but instead of sandy brown she held a darker tone to her hide.
Ruth loved to run through the pasture as fast as she could along the fence line. Even in the rain, she stomped at the ground when it was time to get in the stalls. She was wild and full of adventure. She also loved to bite.
I brushed her down as quickly as I could and ended up with two bruises on my arms. Ruth didn’t bite very hard, but enough to let you know she intentionally did so. I shut the stall door behind me and stuck out my tongue in her direction. The other side held Sid, my Papa’s horse.
Sid was twenty hands and had the muscles to match his height. He was red and had a star of white between his eyes. It took a while to brush him out, but he always leaned into the strokes so I knew he liked it. Moon was in the stall next to Sid and she bobbed her head when I opened her stall door.
“Were you waiting on me?” I crooned to her. She bobbed her head again and I laughed. She was my favorite of all the horses, but don’t tell them that. She stood fourteen hands tall and her gait was the smoothest around. Moon was my pride and joy.
Papa made sure Mama and I was there when Moon was born into our barn. I watched with my two year old eyes in wonder as she came into this world. We grew up together and she was the closest thing I had to a best friend. I always saved her for last when I came to brush the horses because I would spend most of my time with her.
The sun sank in the sky and the insects began their night songs. I gave the horses a little extra hay and put all the brushes against the back wall. As I walked out the door of the barn, I ran into a solid object. The light had long ago faded into the west and the lights from the house didn’t reach this far.
Fear skidded up my back as arms enclosed me. The smell of tobacco filled my lungs as hot breath burned over my cheeks.
“Are you trying to hide from me?”
The next morning, Mama came in to my room and told me to help her with breakfast. I had to feed the chickens and gather eggs from the coop. I walked slowly so the pain wouldn’t be as bad and did my chores in silence.
“What’s the matter, Jojo?” Papa came around the coop and waited at the door for me. “You’re taking an awful long time to come inside. Everything alright?”
Tears poured over my face and I tried desperately to hold it in. Big, strong hands gathered me up and held me close to the beating heart that soothed my shaking frame.
“Jojo? Tell me what’s wro-“. He stopped in mid-sentence as his eyes found the bruises on my arms and legs. “I see Ruth got you here,” he pointed to the round bruises close to my shoulder. “But what are these from?”
I cried as it all spilled out. The weight of the world fell off my shoulders as I told Papa what happened to me every time
he
came to visit. The heart beat against my cheek accelerated and the arms holding me tightened. Drops hit my arms and I looked up to see Papa crying. My heart broke and I wrapped my arms around his neck as we cried together.
After a while, we both went inside and Papa told me to go to my room. I did as he said and shut my door behind me. There was no yelling, no fighting, nothing I could hear from behind my door. A few doors shut and Mama came to my room. Her face was red from crying and she sat on the end of my bed.
I waited for her to say something, but all she did was sit there on the covers. Slowly, I crawled over to her and touched her cheek. That moment when she turned to look at me, I will never forget. Her dark blue eyes captured mine and she told me she loved me.
Mama took me to the bathroom and ran my bath water. She slowly undressed me and took in all the marks marring my skin. She washed my hair and body with gentle, loving hands. Once I was in a towel, she held me in her lap and cried.
“He’ll never touch you again, baby. Never.”
Papa walked in the door later that day and hugged us both for a long time. We ate supper together and Papa read us a story until bedtime. As I gave them both a hug and kiss, Papa whispered in my ear, “We protect the ones we love.”
No one spoke about what happened to me and I was perfectly content with that. I went to sleep that night in peace with the sweet pea flower on my pillow.