Can't Get Enough of Your Love (37 page)

There's only one possible answer to this. “Yes, Roger.”

He's fidgeting in his seat. Oh, he's trying to dig out the ring, I just know it!

He pulls out his wallet.

“Have you paid for your breakfast yet?”

Damn, my heart is jumping up and down. “Uh, no, not yet.”

He pulls out a twenty. “My treat.”

I'd rather have the ring!

He kisses me tenderly on my newfound lips, and then … he begins eating his breakfast again!

“Roger, what the hell are you doing?”

He shovels in another mouthful of omelet. “Finishing my breakfast. This is some good stuff.”

If I blink any harder, I'll blink off my eyelashes. “But you just … You almost just asked me to marry you.”

“Yeah.” He drinks more of his coffee. “And?”

“And?” My jaw is scraping the table. “And you're finishing your breakfast because it's ‘some good stuff'.”

He nods. “Yeah. And?”

“Well, Mr. McDowell, I got some good stuff, no, some
better
stuff back at my house.” And if I give it to him properly—and I will, oh yes, I will—I will get that ring
today
.

He stops chewing. “Got any eggs? You could make an omelet or something with lots of mushrooms, cheese, and green peppers. Or you could make me some pancakes. Or, you could make me—”

“A baby,” I interrupt.

He swallows. “Oh. You have
those
kinds of eggs. How many eggs do you want to spare?”

“How many do you need?”

“Well, for the omelet I'm planning, at least … eleven. I want us to field a football team.”

Oh yeah.

I have found the right man for the job.

Now, in the movies or on those dopey sitcoms, I would be wearing that ring. Juan Carlos, Karl, Izzie, and even Monique would be just outside the window clapping or something. Lisa would be leading cheers with the other waitresses inside, and I bet all the diners would give us a standing ovation. My mama and maybe even my daddy would come out of hiding, the music would swell, and Roger would carry me to a
convertible with me holding on to my ouchy shoes. Then we'd drive off into the sunset as the credits roll.

I used to hate those kinds of movies.

I might actually like them now.

So, instead of all that drama, I walk out of an IHOP—barefoot, somewhat crusty toes and all, and ringless—with the man of my dreams, my earth brother, my Mr. Meat ‘n' Potatoes, my soul, tears drying on my face, ouchy shoes left under the table where they belong, wondering about our future, our future that will one day—maybe this time next year—involve another threesome.

Just me, my man, and our child.

Ah, who am I kidding? I'm not wondering about any of that at all, really—except for the ring. I mean, I haven't had any good loving in five months, six days, and two hours (I've been counting), and I can't wait to get back to Jenny's dollhouse so we can make us a milk chocolate baby girl.

I hope it rains all weekend.

Maybe we can work in a little football, too.

It would be so cool to say that we made our first baby during a football game.

At twenty-one, Katharina Minola had an Oscar, adoring critics and fans, and was on track to be the most successful black actress of all time. Bad luck, bad choices, and a reputation for being a world-class diva stripped her of everything. But her new role for her old movie studio, Lucentio Pictures, could be the comeback she's waited for.

   Pietro Lucentio knows how much courage and fire Katharina possesses. It's why he fell in love with her years ago—and it's why he's agreed to his movie mogul brother Vincenzo's crazy scheme. By luring her out into the bleak Canadian wilderness and secretly filming her every word and gesture, they plan to recapture the Katharina of old and make her a star all over again. But reviving Katharina's career won't be enough for Pietro. She the one—the
only
one who's ever been able to tame his heart. And it's time he returned the favor …

Please turn the page for an exciting sneak peek of
J.J. Murray's
SHE'S THE ONE

now on sale at bookstores everywhere!

V
incenzo Lucentio, the CEO of Lucentio Pictures, stared in awe at the thick file his staff had compiled on actress Katharina Minola.

Geez
, he thought.
And I think
this
woman will be a match for my younger brother, Pietro? I must be crazy. This might never work
.

Unless we have some nasty weather, the muddier and snowier the better, and just a little bit of luck
.

He weighed the file in his hand, a good pound of newspaper and magazine clippings, glossy and grainy photographs. He even had a list of links to Web sites that still carried some of Katharina's infamous interviews and stories of her notorious exploits.

He sighed often as he read the cover sheet written by Penelope Bishop, his senior production assistant and executive secretary, the real power behind Lucentio Pictures since his grandfather's time. Vincenzo frowned here and there, but mainly he cringed at Penelope's acidic and far too accurate prose.

“A scold,” “a fury,” “a spitfire”—the press has had a field day with Katharina “Kate the Cursed” Minola (born Dena Hinson in Roanoke, Virginia), 36, a DIVA (Dismissive, Insensitive, Villainous, Audacious) fully immersed in her “divatude” since winning the Academy Award for best actress
(My Honey Love
, Lucentio Pictures) in her first major role when she was only 21.

Katharina has yet to repeat what
Time
called “a breakthrough performance for women of color,” cranking out eighteen consecutive mediocre movies (three for Lucentio Pictures) and one so infamously bad
(Miss Thang)
that she won a Golden Raspberry Award (the dreaded “Razzie”) for
worst
actress.
Miss Thang
currently ranks sixth on the ten worst movies ever made, behind
Plan 9 From Outer Space
or
Glenda, Santa Claus Conquers the Martians, Gigli
, and
Catwoman
.

Katharina did not show up to claim her “Razzie.”

(Note: Oscar-winner Halle Berry
did
show up to claim her Razzie for
Catwoman
, saying, “I never in my life thought that I would be here, winning a Razzie. It's not like I ever aspired to be here, but thank you … When I was a kid, my mother told me that if you could not be a good loser, then there's no way you could be a good winner.” Berry also said, “First of all, I want to thank Warner Brothers. Thank you for putting me in a piece of shit, God-awful movie … It was just what my career needed.”)

   
At least Halle Berry had the class to show up and make it work for her
, Vincenzo thought.
Berry did
Their Eyes Were Watching God
right after
Catwoman to
considerable acclaim, has never been out of work since then as far as I know, and now she's doing some producing and enjoying her greatest role as a mother. If we can't laugh at ourselves and our mistakes, especially in this business, what good are we?

What followed was a list of Katharina's rumored, alleged, and factual diva-like behavior since her success with
My Honey Love:

• During the only Macy's Thanksgiving Day parade she was asked to co-host, Katharina yelled at a musician for “playing
way
too close to my face”
(New York Post)
.

• Only days after getting engaged to Ward Booker, an up-and-coming black actor, Katharina ran off to Paris with Booker's best friend, David Stanley, a bodybuilder, for “a restful holiday and shopping trip away from the stress of daily life”
(People)
.

• Upon her return from Paris, Katharina watched “in utter horror”
(Los Angeles Times)
as Booker and Stanley had a fistfight at Spago, both men arrested for “fighting over little ol' me”
(Us)
.

• Katharina has consistently made “worst dressed lists” for ten of the past fourteen years but says the compilers of those lists are “all incredibly, horribly wrong, beyond stupid, and very, very blind”
(Vogue)
. Her favorite “worst” outfit is tiger-striped from head to toe including headband, sunglasses, blouse, pants, handbag, and stiletto-heeled shoes.

• During the filming of
Miss Thang
, Katharina refused to leave her deluxe motor home and
trailer (complete with hot tub) until the script improved. “I spent a
lot
of time in my trailer with that awful picture”
(Premiere)
. Three directors quit the production, two citing mental breakdowns. The director listed in the credits is “Alan Smithee”—that notorious and obvious
nom de plume
used by dissatified directors since 1969's
Death of a Gunfighter
starring Lena Horne and Richard Widmark. One of the directors retired from flmmaking entirely, now sells shoes at a local mall, and at last report, seems quite happy.

   
Katharina never should have left her trailer
, Vincenzo thought.
No one should have ever made that ghastly farce of a picture, which earned her that “Kate the Cursed” nickname, a nickname she just can't seem to shake
.

• Until four years ago, her entourage (which the media still calls her “porta-posse”) included:

* a makeup artist

* a personal hairstylist

* a wardrobe designer

* a “dresser” (“I wouldn't dream of getting dressed and leaving without her”
[Woman's Day])

* an official photographer and videographer (recently fired)

* her yoga instructor, Rajiv (recently deceased)

* a masseuse named Mikhail (recently deported)

* a dog walker (hit by a car, still in rehab) for her Scottish terrier, Scottie

* a director of photography for interviews (see below)

* one or more “gophers”/assistants (see below)

• Katharina has fired numerous assistants for the following “infractions”:

* not bringing her daily
Los Angeles Times, Variety
, and
New York Times
to her before 8
A.M
.

* not putting a straw in her drink, “and it must be one of the crinkly kind” (Elle)

* not cutting the crust of her sandwiches (she prefers chunky chicken salad on plain white bread)

* not bringing enough shoes or bringing the wrong shoes to a shoot

She fired her last assistant for baking a birthday cake for her thirty-sixth birthday. Her most recent assistant, Bianca Baptista, has been on the job for six weeks, four days longer than the average employment of Katharina's other assistants.

• Blessed with a peculiar sense of smell, Katharina claims to sense odors that seemingly do not exist. She only wears her own perfume (!Katharina!, sold only at K-Mart now).

• All but a handful of airlines have banned Katharina for life for cabin crew abuse. Here is the list of airlines that still tolerate her: Air Vanuatu, Croatia Airlines, Air Kazakhstan, Phuket Air, and Virgin Atlantic.

• After filming the romantic comedy
Filet of Dish
(a box office flop that earned a special Razzie for worst
title
ever), Katharina disparaged the city of Boston: “It smells like the ocean”
(Boston Herald)
. She also took potshots at the people of the state of Massachusetts: “I'll bet ninety percent of these people cannot even spell their state's name”
(New York Times)
. After a public outcry in Boston, Katharina issued an apology through her publicist (long since fired and rehired
—twice)
, adding, “I hope the Yankees win the pennant.” Boston won it all that year.

• At meet and greet sessions to autograph pictures of herself during the height of her fame, Katharina routinely asked that fans not hug, kiss, or look directly at her at
any
time.

• On
The Today Show
five years ago, Katie Couric asked her, “So, do you see yourself as a mother in the future? Katharina's reply: “Oh, I just
adore
children. I want to have a litle girl just like me.”

   Vincenzo shuddered.
Just like she is now or the nice person she used to be? No matter what, that girl would be a beautiful child. She and Pietro could have a gorgeous daughter, and I would pray every day that she took after her father in the attitude department … unless Katharina changes back to the wonderful woman I met fifteen years ago
.

• For extended hotel stays and shoots, Katharina demands all-black furniture, a vase full of long-stemmed red roses, a humidifier, 400-count
cotton sheets, and blackout drapes on all windows. She once rented a suite at New York's Plaza Hotel (at $4,500 a night) but walked out on a two-week reservation because the staff forgot to make the bed with the 400-count sheets.

• Addicted to Prozac after the fallout from
Miss Thang
, Katharina has kicked the habit
(without
going into rehab) through regular exercise, meditation on the Bible, and yoga. “I don't know why more people don't use yoga and meditation to cleanse themselves … It works, and I'm the proof”
(Shape)
.

   “Good for her,” Vincenzo said aloud.
That will be one fewer demon for us to deal with
. He shook his head.
We ‘re going to have enough demons to deal with as it is
.

• Katharina permits no one on the set to have her “signature” blue-green eyes. During the filming of Shoots and Letters, a child actor and a dog lost their jobs because they had such eyes. A production assistant had to remove a doll with similar eyes from the background of one shot in
When Mama's Mad, Everybody's Mad
. “Call me superstitious”
(HollywoodSleaze.com)
. (“Note: This isn't superstition. This is the grossest form of vanity—Penelope.”)