Beauty and the Biker (3 page)

1
week
later

His face fills the computer screen. He’s grinning from ear to ear, and I feel it match my own smile.

“I found the package you put in my bag.”

Those are the first words out of his mouth, and I can’t help but giggle. My face warms, but I’m not sure why I’m embarrassed. It’s nothing he hasn’t seen before. Abe loved getting me naked and pleasuring my body for hours until I begged him to stop. So I thought I’d send him a few mementos to keep him happy.

“Well, I hope you’ll put them to good use.”

“Trust me, shortcake, I already have.” Leaning in closer to the camera, he whispers, “Three times.”

“Bullshit!” I hear someone in the background shout. “
Julie! Oh God, Julie!
I heard him grunting that name from the bathroom at least four times since we've been here.”

Abe shoots up from his chair, and Scribe comes into view on the screen. Abe’s holding him by his shirt, and I hear him growl.

“Don’t fucking moan her name, Scribe.”

Suddenly, a stunning brunette comes on the screen. “You must be Julie. I’ve heard a lot about you. I’m Mac, but everyone calls me Casper. Can you believe these Marines? I don’t know how I always get stuck with them.”

A random “
oorah
” sounds in the background, making the beautiful brunette roll her eyes. “I got this,” she says, giving me a quick wink.

She turns, and I hear her get their attention. “Abe! We roll out in fifteen. You can play with Scribe, or you can talk to the pretty blonde you got over there. I’d prefer you pick the blonde because, sadly, I need Scribe. If he wasn’t my ears on the ground, I’d love to watch you kick his ass.”

Abe finally lets him go, and I see the men stagger apart.

“Jesus, man,” Scribe grunts. “Guess nobody can hook up with a girl named Julie, or Abe might kill us. We are clearly not allowed to use the name.”

“Jesus!” Mac exclaims. “Can we go check my headset please? Leave them be before you get yourself killed.”

Abe glares at Scribe until he finally retreats, but not before Mac smacks him on the back of the head.

Mac bounces in front of the screen just before she takes off. “It was nice to meet you, Julie. Put a smile on his face for us, will you? He’s been a bear since we got here.”

“It was nice to meet you too. I’ll try my best.”

She gives me a small wave before disappearing.

“Come back over here, I wanna see your face.”

Abe drops down in his chair. “He was wrong, you know.”

“Who?”

“Scribe. It was more like five times I’ve been in the bathroom with those pictures you gave me.”

“Only five?” I say, pretending I’m hurt.

“That’s all I’m willing to admit.”

I smile at him, fighting the lump in my throat. I only have him for a few minutes, and I don’t want to spend it crying.
Think happy thoughts, Jules
.

“I love you,” I say, reaching out and touching the screen.

“I love you too, baby.” His fingers mirror mine on the screen, and it looks as if our hands are touching. “I’m going dark for a while, so you may not hear from me for a little bit, but don’t stop writing. Your letters will get to me eventually, and I’ll keep in touch as much as I can. Even if you don’t hear from me, I’m always thinking about you.”

“Be safe.”

“Always, shortcake.”

A
ugust
2011

M
y dear fiancé
,

I don’t think I’ve ever called you that before. It sounds so fancy! I started classes today, so I’m officially a college student! *dances around* I was even lucky enough to snag a part-time gig at the local coffee shop. I have no idea what I’m doing, but I’ll fake it until I make it. Wish you could see my dorm room. It’s the first time being small works in my favor because I need all the extra space I can get in that room. I’m even one of the lucky ones who ended up without a roommate. I’m not sure how they put two people in those rooms!

It should be okay, though. Next year I won’t need a dorm room, I’ll be happily married to my hunky Marine with our own little place. I’m thinking purple for our bedroom. It’ll have to be girly to offset all the manliness you got going on.

I miss you. God, do I miss you. I dropped my phone last week and almost had a mini panic attack when it shattered. All my pictures of us were on it. Thank God, I was able to save them. I printed them all off and saved them to a million different places, so if you randomly see a billboard with our pic on it, I’m sorry.

I love you!

Always,

Your shortcake

Xoxoxo

S
eptember
2011

M
ine
,

You better be calling me your fiancé to every person you see. In fact, it better be on that billboard. Unless it’s one of the pictures of us at the lake. Then I’m going to tan your ass for showing the world what’s meant for my eyes.

Don’t get too comfy, shortcake. I’m coming for you, and you can paint our bedroom whatever color you want. As long as your sweet ass is naked in our bed, I couldn’t give two shits what color you put on the wall.

Keep writing me, baby. You have no idea what your letters mean to me. I don’t care what they say, even if you’re just telling me what you did all day, I’ll love the fuck out of them. Makes me feel like I’m with you when I know what you’re doing every day.

I love you.

Yours.

N
ovember
2011

M
y dear fiancé
,

People sometimes tell me I’m too young to get married when they find out I’m engaged. That we haven’t known each other long enough. I always just smile at them. I think I would have been one of them too if someone told me our story. It’s hard to explain love to people who’ve never really known it before.

My mom and dad got married when they were both eighteen, and they had me a few years later. Today we celebrated their twenty-year anniversary. They looked so happy, always have been. Did I tell you when I told them I was going to marry you, all my mom said was, “When you know, you know.”

It’s our first holiday season together. If you think the last care package I sent was good, wait until you see the next. I, of course, included a little something for Lucias and Scribe. Tell everyone I said hi, and I hope Mac is keeping you boys in line.

With all my heart, I LOVE YOU!

Yours.

J
anuary
2012

“
J
ulie
.”

“Who’s this?” I say into the phone. Glancing over at the clock, I see it’s four o’clock in the morning.

“Julie, honey, it’s Lucias.”

I feel the burn in my nose, the onset of tears is instant. The tone of Lucias’s voice, the fact that it’s four o’clock in the morning, and that he’s calling me, lets me know more than I want to.

“Please don’t,” is all I can get out.

“Calm down, honey, he’s going to make it. It was touch and go for a week, but he’s stable.”

“
A week?
” A fucking week and this is my first call?

“I know, but we just finally got stateside, I promise this is the first time I got a chance to call you. We just touched down at Walter Reed hospital in Washington, D.C.”

“I’m coming right now,” I say, jumping out of bed. I grab everything I can, the phone still pressed to my ear.

“All right, I’ll text you the address. He’s been in and out of consciousness. He just keeps saying your name.”

A sob rips from my throat

“Julie, he’s going to make it, but I’m not going to lie to you, he’s rough. He got hit with a shit ton of blow back off an IED. He took a lot of shrapnel and has some bad burns, but that’s it. He’s lucky it wasn’t worse. Internally he’s fine.”

“Thank God,” I hiccup into the phone.

“Just get here. I’m sure once you’re here he’ll calm down. He keeps having nightmares, and every time he wakes, he’s screaming your name. It takes four of us to hold him down, so we’re thinking if you’re here it might help.”

“I’ll be there as quick as I can.”

Dropping my phone onto the bed, I hurriedly get dressed and pack a bag. When Lucias texts me the information, I forward it to my mom so she can book me a flight. I’m not wasting any time. She can make the travel plans while I drive to the airport.

“I’m coming, baby,” I whisper.

I
feel
the fire on my face. My nightmare always starts the same. It’s burning hot, and I can’t find Julie anywhere. She’s here, but I don’t know where she is. I keep screaming her name as the explosion goes off and takes a part of me with it, the pain shooting through my body.

Days have passed, or so they tell me. Everything seems so jumbled around, and all I can feel is pain. I’m in and out, and every time I wake I seem to be somewhere else. I just keep seeing the explosion happen right in front of me, and there’s nothing I can do to stop it. Each time the explosion goes off I see her reaching for me, calling my name. I need to get Julie out of here. I need to keep her safe, but as quick as she’s there she's gone again, I can’t find her.

“Julie! Julie!” I feel the heavy weight on me again, and it helps to ease some of my fear. It’s my brothers holding me down, I know it, but I can’t connect reality to my dreams. They are both twisted together and distorted.

“Abe?”

It’s barely a whisper, but I know it’s her. I struggle harder to try to get to her.

“Calm down, goddamn it. If you don’t pull it together, the nurse is going to sedate you again. Julie’s here, man. Just calm down and we’ll bring her over.”

I can feel the bandages covering most of my face, but I can still make out some of her silhouette in the distance. I can’t imagine what I look like. From what I remember from the doctors, I have second-degree and some third-degree burns over forty percent of my body, but I was lucky not to have any major damage. I’ve gotten a few glimpses of myself, and it isn't good. I start to sit up again, but I feel Lucias stop me, pushing me back down onto the bed.

“Just lie back and be easy. We are trying to do this for the both of you, but you’ve got to be calm.”

“Okay.” That word is all I can manage through my dry mouth. At some point I must have had a tube down my throat, because it sounds like I’ve been gargling with gravel and battery acid.

The lights are dimmed down low, but I can see as she approaches the bed. I can feel her light touch through the bandage on my hand, but suddenly I feel her jerk away.

“Oh god, Abe.”

Flashes of the IED going off mix with my nightmares of Julie, and I get confused about what really happened that day. At the sound of her voice, memories and dreams start to bombard my mind. I shake my head, trying to clear my thoughts, but all I see is fire and smoke, and all I hear is her screaming for me.

With my bandages distorting my view, she looks like an angel. My perfect, sweet, little angel. What a pair we would make now. With burns covering my body and the rage I feel coursing through me, I have to look pretty damn close to the devil himself. I wasn’t good enough for her before, but now I couldn’t even try to pretend.

“Get her out of here.” Silence falls across the room, and I try to breathe through the pain. It’s all coming in flashes now, and I’m afraid of what I might do. I can feel the anger rising in me, a rage that wants to burst free at all I’ve lost.

“Abe, calm down. It’s okay. You’re here and you're safe.”

“Lucias, I said get her the fuck out of here. Now.”

“Baby, don’t do this. I love you. I’m not going anywhere.” The soft plea in her voice wraps around my heart, but all I can feel is the anger consuming me, eating me alive.

When I turn to look at her, I can see she’s moved closer and I can make out more of her now. She looks like she’s been crying all night. She’s a mess, but still just as gorgeous as the last time I saw her, and I just want to take her in my arms and hold her. I want to tell her I love her, but I can’t. I’m too fucked up for her. She deserves better than what’s left of me. She needs more than pieces.

“I don’t want you here. Get out.”

I can see the pain visibly hit her, and it tears me apart inside.

She looks to Lucias, and he nods towards the door.

“Abe, sweetheart, please.”

“‘
Sweetheart’
, Julie? Do I look like someone's sweetheart?”

“You’re my sweetheart.”

Her words tug at me but it’s not what I want. I prefer the rage and anger. It’s easier to process right now. Gripping the bedside bar, I give one hard yank, ripping it right off the bed. I throw it at the wall next to Lucias, who doesn't even flinch. It makes a dent in the drywall before hitting the ground with a thud.

“Get her the fuck out!” I bellow, bringing two nurses rushing into the room.

Julie stares at me for a beat before she turns and walks out of the room without so much as a glance back, and I see Mac follow behind her. I look around and everything is blurry, but I can make out the shapes of Scribe and Lucias. Whatever the nurse just pushed into my IV must be working fast.

“You two, get the fuck out as well.”

Lucias walks closer to the bed, not listening to me. “I know you’re hurting, brother, so I’m going to let you have some space, but I’ll be outside that door for as long as you’re here, watching your back.”

“I don’t need your sympathy. Just get the fuck away from me. All of you.”

After a moment they exit the room.

I lie there, thinking about what happened to me as I feel the drugs kick in, and I drift off to sleep. The nightmare grips me instantly, only this time, Julie is the one holding the IED, and she’s coming for me. I see myself in her eyes as she sets off the blast, and I look like a monster.

A
savage
monster.