A New Hope (12 page)

“Wait, you’re going to love this.” He jumped out of the truck and ran around to her side, helping her out. He directed her to the back, lowering the tailgate to the truck bed.

Inside the bed of the truck were a couple of lounge pillows, blankets and a cooler. “Wow,” was all she could say.

“This was how my parents went to the drive-in movie. For myself, I’ve never been to a drive-in movie, but my dad explained courting in his day—couples couldn’t be alone in the backseat of a car, which is why drive-ins were invented, I think. So they got cozy in the back of a truck.”

“I’m kind of dressed up,” she said.

He smiled. “And beautifully, too. I’ve got you covered,” he said, and jumped into the truck bed. He unrolled and spread out a sleeping bag on the bottom of the bed, shook out a blanket and covered the lounge pillows, then jumped out. He laced his fingers together to assist her in getting in. “Hand on my head and up you go.”

“Is this legal?” she asked.

“What? Parking at the lookout? Why not?”

“I don’t know. Seems kind of...”

“Naughty?” he asked with a grin. “Come on, up you go.”

She climbed in, laughing as she kneeled and then, adjusting her skirt, crawled to the front of the bed where the pillows were. She couldn’t stop laughing as she sat down against the pillows, smoothed her skirt and relaxed. He sat beside her, and when she rubbed her arms because she was a little chilly, he grabbed another blanket and spread it over her, tucking it around her shoulders.

“This is genius,” she said.

He lifted the lid of the cooler. “Drink?”

“What have you got in there?” she asked, peering into the cooler.

“Water, soda, tea, a couple of juice drinks.”

“I’ll pass. After all, being a guy, you can pee out of the back of a truck. Life isn’t that simple for a girl.”

“We’re completely alone,” he said, mischief in his smile. “You could safely manage nearby.”

Just as he said that, a car pulled in the lookout not far from them and an older couple got out and walked to the edge of the lookout. The gentleman had a very large camera hanging around his neck. They waved hello, then went about the business of photographing the sinking sun over the Pacific.

“Well, we’ll be alone again in a few minutes.”

“I’ll pass,” she said.

But it was sunset. And sunset over the Pacific was a good show. There wasn’t exactly a crowd, but there were quite a few cars that pulled in to watch. Some folks got out and walked around, some stayed in their cars, and every time a car pulled into the lookout, Ginger laughed. At one point she wanted her cell phone to take her own picture and realized that, of course, she hadn’t taken a bag to the wedding and had no phone. Matt got his out of his pocket and handed it to her. “Click away and send them to yourself.”

Cars came and went, and Ginger took a few pictures of the sunset. It was better out here than at Cooper’s, probably because it felt closer, there being no beach or bay between her and the setting sun. She snuggled under the warm blanket and before long darkness overtook them.

And they were alone.

Matt put an arm around her and pulled her closer, up against his big, warm body.

“If you do that, I might fall asleep on you,” she said.

He gently kissed her forehead. “You fall asleep if you want to. You’re safe.”

She felt safe. In fact, she felt cherished. Protected. It was a feeling she hadn’t had very often.

They were alone, quiet in the dark, and she felt a contentment wash over her. She’d like to stay here, just like this, forever. He turned toward her and gently kissed her forehead, her temple, her cheek, her ear. She lifted her lips, and he touched them with his. Then he adjusted slightly to take her into his arms and cover her mouth with a sweet and thorough kiss, holding her close.

Oh, God, he was a very good kisser. She let her lips part slightly. Very. Good.

She escaped the warmth of the blanket to wrap her arms around his neck and hold him closer. She gave herself to his mouth, his arms, and it was pure heaven. She tried to think when she last enjoyed physical affection like this and it was blurry. Long before she got pregnant. Oh, there’d been sex. But that feeling of being adored, of being swept away, of falling into some kind of bliss, that was long ago.

Headlights strafed them, causing them to reluctantly break apart. A highway patrol cruiser pulled up beside them. The spotlight at the top of the car shone on them. The trooper got out and stood up, looking at them over the top of the vehicle. “You folks okay there?”

“Well, we were,” Matt said with a laugh.

“What’s going on there?” he asked.

“We were making out, if you need to know.”

“Drinking?” he asked.

“No, sir,” Matt said. “You’re welcome to check. Got a cooler of drinks here—water, soda, et cetera. We’re enjoying the sunset. And then some.”

“Well, I hate to throw a wet blanket on this party, but I don’t think it’s wise, using this spot for romance. You aren’t breaking any laws, but you’re real isolated. You’d be better off getting a room. At least the door locks.”

“Point taken,” Matt said.

The trooper drove away, and Matt put his arms around her again. “You afraid to be out here alone? With just me?”

“I have a feeling you could keep me safe.”

He kissed her again. Long and wet and deep. “Ginger, I don’t know whether to congratulate myself or apologize. I’ve been wanting to do that for a while now, but we both know I’m a mess.”

She ran her fingers over his scruffy cheek. “Please don’t apologize.”

“I won’t,” he said. “I should get you home.”

“Whenever you’re ready.”

They were quiet on the drive back, but held hands all the way. When he parked in front of Ray Anne’s house, he leaned across the console to give her a brief kiss. And when he helped her out of the truck, he stood there with her for a moment, embracing her and kissing her deeply. She couldn’t help it, she was melting into him and wanting him. Wanting him so much.

“I had a nice surprise today,” she whispered against his lips. “Grace is giving up her little apartment over the shop. She offered it to me.” She smiled at him. “I’m going to have my own place soon.”

“How soon?” he asked, surprise in his voice.

“A couple of days, actually. Ray Anne has been so generous, but she’s used to living alone. And she does have a boyfriend.”

He lifted her hand and held it close between their bodies. “Do you have a boyfriend, miss?”

“Not sure,” she said. “But I think I want one.”

He gave her another quick kiss, then turned her toward the house. “I’ll call you tomorrow.”

Ten

H
e ran. He could’ve stayed overnight at his sister’s house and had a more leisurely drive in the morning, maybe even a little more time with Ginger, but instead Matt hit the road and headed north, though it was almost nine. He was a little panicked. Most definitely conflicted. He was falling in love with Ginger and it was a bad idea for him to be in love. If he recalled, he had two gears—not in love and thinking straight or in love and a complete idiot.

He wanted to fall into Ginger and drown in her. She was going to let him. And now she was getting her own place. Where they would be alone.

It was dark and he didn’t have the radio on, so he tried interviewing himself to see if he could figure out what was happening to him. Was he over Natalie? Most definitely. He might still find her beautiful but he didn’t want her back. So then, what was the problem? Well, he thought he’d known Natalie. He had trusted her, more or less. What had he failed to see? He had known she wasn’t perfect, and that was okay with him because he wasn’t perfect, either, and damn, she seemed good enough for him. So she wasn’t into the farm. He thought he’d been okay with that, but what if he wasn’t? What if he’d secretly expected her to come around? So she wanted to have more fun? Didn’t wives always want a little more than what they were getting? There wasn’t any Achilles’ heel he couldn’t live with, or so he’d thought. He’d had no illusions—she wasn’t going to wear overalls and rubber boots and dig in the ground. Ever. She would never share his passion. But he might’ve thought she’d eventually develop a grudging respect for it. He knew his brothers looked at him with a combination of envy and amusement. Natalie wasn’t practical or earthy, but she was gorgeous and laughed at his jokes. She would always wear sexy, inconvenient clothes and ridiculous high heels. And the most amazing underwear...and when she wrapped those long legs around him, he’d leave the earth for a while.

Of course he now realized you can’t build a real relationship on hot underwear and sexual abandon. There had to be more. A lot more.

He was falling in love with something more—a woman he could really talk to, a woman with values that matched more closely to his own, a woman who wanted a family. A quiet, gentle, loving woman with an inner strength so powerful it humbled him; a woman he respected. Admired. A woman who turned him on, made him so hot he wondered if he’d snap! He realized he was terrified of that, with good reason. Once he fell into Ginger and experienced her, he was not going to be able to go back. Ginger wanted a stable home life, a solid man to lean on, a grounded future. He wanted to be that man.

What if he was getting all the wrong signals? Again? She seemed so transparent, but...

It was pretty easy to look back at his brief marriage and realize Natalie hadn’t really surprised him that much. She wasn’t much of a giver, that Natalie. She might’ve done some selfish things that shocked him but when he looked back, they shouldn’t have. He should’ve seen it coming. She was focused on herself, her needs. He always knew it was all about Natalie being happy, being entertained, being satisfied, having lots of attention heaped on her.

And there was the problem. When he fell for a woman all the blood drained from his brain and his eyes glazed over. He stopped thinking logically. He stopped being pragmatic.

What if he let go, let himself fall for Ginger? And what if it was a big mistake? What if there were some other things he couldn’t see right now, lurking, that would keep them from having a successful long-term relationship? Like? Oh, hell, he didn’t know. If he knew, he could check them out, examine them. Sometimes these things sneaked up on you.

He was going to have to be still and quiet for a little while. It would be a good time to dig, aerate, fertilize, trim and prune. He should be by himself and spend some time in his head. Thinking of all the possibilities, because Ginger was getting her own place. With a door that closed. With a bed in it.

If he was wrong about a woman he felt that strongly for again, it was going to be ugly.

* * *

Ginger hoped Matt had stayed over at his sister’s house Saturday night and would call her on Sunday. She hoped he had because it had been far too late by the time he could have begun his four-hour drive north. But her phone didn’t ring.

So she told herself a different story—he’d gotten up early and headed back to the farm, got caught up in the after-church family circus with twenty people at the table. So later, he would call her later.

She stayed busy, longing to talk to him. They’d just had that romance at the lookout, the kissing, the whispering, and she wanted to hear him talk about it. He was gentle but there was such a power there; she could feel the tension in his arms, his body, as he was reining it in, keeping all those runaway emotions under control.

She walked the beach in the early afternoon. She stopped off at Cooper’s bar, which was hopping because it was a sunny Sunday. Even Troy was working, getting out kayaks and paddleboards for rent.

“I can’t believe you’re working,” she said. “You just got married last night!”

“I know, but I was up early. We had a great breakfast with the family and now they’re all headed home. Grace is exhausted and she’s taking a nap. I think we wore out Winnie, too. The only person with energy to spare is Mikhail—he’s looking for things to do. Last I saw him, he was headed into town on foot, determined to look around.”

“You should be with Grace,” she said.

“Shh, don’t tell, but I got restless. I don’t want a nap. I’m going to go over to the loft in a little while and clean it up for you. You do want it, right?”

“I do,” she said excitedly. “I’ve only been in it a couple of times. Can I go, too? Help?”

“Sure,” he said with a shrug. “I’m going to give Cooper a couple more hours. Should I call you?”

“You can. Or...I think I’ll go to the shop and make sure everything is right for tomorrow morning. I’ll be over there already.”

So, back to town she went. There wasn’t a lot to do in the shop, though the Saturday rush for the wedding had left it a little messy. The arch was standing in the alley beside the back door, as promised, and had to be dismantled and put away. There was the usual sweeping and wiping down to do. She listened to the work cell, but there were only congratulatory messages for Grace and no orders.

She looked at her own cell phone several times, wondering why Matt wasn’t calling. There was a kernel of fear in her. She couldn’t wait any longer. She texted him.
Are you home safely?

Then she stared at the phone, waiting. He didn’t reply. If she didn’t hear from him soon, she would call Peyton. In the meantime, she began to tidy the back room and office. The phone that a couple of months ago she didn’t even care to recharge was now in her pocket. She was waiting for it to chime or ring. And she hated that!

She went from tidying and wiping to scrubbing, putting a lot of muscle into it, making that scarred old worktable shine. Waiting. It brought to mind how she waited to hear from Mick, to hear he was nearby and could see her or out of town on some gig but thinking of her. Waiting for his affection, waiting for him to come to bed in the wee hours, waiting, always waiting for some affirmation from him. Didn’t he feel horrible about leaving her alone and pregnant? Didn’t he want to at least discuss the divorce? Make a compromise? Didn’t he wonder how she was getting along? Wonder about the baby? She almost reached out to him ten thousand times and it took a will of iron not to but she could remember the agony of that waiting so clearly, it might’ve been yesterday. And had that agony ever touched him? Not in the slightest way.
This next song is going to be it, babe, it’s going to push me to the top.

Her phone chimed, and she pulled it out. Twenty-five minutes had passed when Matt responded.
Safe and sound.

She waited, staring at the phone screen. Was there nothing more? No, talk to you later? Hope you weren’t worried? Had a good time last night?

Nothing.

She felt her eyes well with tears and told herself to stop! She couldn’t be that woman again, that woman in love and desperate to have her passions returned. She couldn’t cry for attention from a man, hoping he’d call, hoping he’d notice, hoping he’d care. It was too painful, living in a one-sided relationship.

She turned off her phone. She blew her nose.

It wasn’t long before Troy arrived, knocked on the locked back door of the shop and then took Ginger upstairs. It was such a darling little apartment. One room, really, the bedroom separated from the living room by an arch. There was plenty of room for one person, a large bathroom, the linen closet, which held a stacked washer and dryer along with shelves, a galley kitchen with a few cupboards and a table for two. But there was a regular-size sectional and wall unit holding a TV. The bed was queen-size and there was a wall unit of drawers and closet space.

“This is adorable,” she told Troy.

He was busy moving around the little apartment, checking the bathroom, bedroom, kitchen. “Well, I should have known. My mother wouldn’t leave a speck of dust behind.” He flipped open the lid of the washer. “I guess this means you even have clean sheets on the bed. I’ll run this load of sheets, make sure the bathroom is clean and—”

“You’ll do no such thing,” she said. “I’ll take care of that. I know you have your own apartment to clean up. Didn’t I hear you say you’re taking the living room furniture for your game room in the new house?”

“There will be no games in the game room,” he said. “That will be our living room. It’s a good apartment for us.”

“What do you need from here?” Ginger asked.

“I think Grace took everything we could use when we moved to Winnie’s house. I cleaned out the fridge before my folks came and since we don’t have our own kitchen, Grace left some kitchen things here. I’m going to move out of my place this week now that I don’t need the space for family.”

“This is very thoughtful of you and Grace,” Ginger said. “And if you ever have family coming to town, just say the word. I always have space at Ray Anne’s house. I can give you back this guest room whenever you need it.”

“Thanks, we’ll try not to impose,” he said. “I guess you can have it whenever you want. And here’s the key.”

“Is there anything else here you want to take with you?”

“Grace moved all her personal things out early last week. Everything left here is for your use. You shouldn’t need too much.” He picked up the container of laundry detergent and gave it a shake. “You only have a couple more loads in this,” he said.

“You are a very good landlord,” she told him with a smile.

“I imagine you’ll be a perfect tenant.” He looked around. “She was really smart to do this, wasn’t she? Right over the store and all.”

“She was smart about everything.”

“I thought I’d have to do some cleaning but there are even vacuum tracks. It’s all yours—move in whenever you want. I’m going back out to the beach to see if I can get Cooper to help me move. With his truck.” He grinned.

“And I’ll walk back to Ray Anne’s and give her the good news—she can have her life back.”

“I’m sure she loved having you.”

“I’m sure she’ll love having time with Al more. But no worries, I’m sure I’ll see Ray Anne every day.”

As she was walking back through town to Ray Anne’s she thought about her new life.
That was easy. I am not going to be lonely; I am not pining over some man who wants me one minute, can’t remember my phone number the next. I’m a whole person. I have a great job, a super loft to live in, good friends, a little family nearby...

But she gave him forty-eight hours to remember he had kissed her passionately and promised to call. Forty-eight hours to get a text, a message, a call.

Then she’d changed her cell phone number.

* * *

“How do you like that little space upstairs?” Grace asked Ginger.

“Oh, it’s perfect,” she said. “My mother is sending a couple of boxes of things—my favorite books, DVDs, stuff I wouldn’t have thought to bring since I was only staying a couple of weeks. The last time I was home I went through my closet and brought all the clothes that still fit me. And there are a few boxes in my closet, things packed up from my rental house when I moved out. I worked in housewares and in bridal registries—I have some of the prettiest wineglasses, earthenware, sheets and towels, and small items that there will be plenty of room for.”

“I’ve always used the cooler to refrigerate things I didn’t have room for in that little fridge,” Grace said.

“I’ve already figured that out,” she said. “Poor Ray Anne, she didn’t know whether to jump for joy or cry when I told her I had my own place. I’ve had to reassure her that we’re still close, we can get together for dinner, for a glass of wine, for girls’ night...”

Grace wandered over to the front window and looked out.

“I think she’s convinced this will be better in the long run. She needs personal space and I need to not hide in the bedroom with the door closed when Al is on the property,” she said with a laugh.

Grace turned from the window. She wore a melancholy expression. “Mikhail,” she said. “He’s taken to long walks while Winnie is having her morning washing and primping rituals and again in the afternoon while she’s taking her nap. But he gets her breakfast, makes sure she has lunch and, although he doesn’t think I know this, he sleeps in the chair in her bedroom at night.”